Features   Original | Melanie |

Home
Updates
About
Categories
    • RR's
    •
Labyrinth
    •
Slash Fics
    •
Originals

Mailing List
Add a fic
Add a site
Link to Us
Contact Us
Guestbook



Character: Child
Mood: Mostly comedy
Rating: PG for vague mentions of m/f and f/f sex
Feedback: Please!

Melanie
By Essy

I asked Melanie and she says it's got nothing to do with kissing. She
says that when a boys bits touch your bits, he does a special kind of
wee-wee and then you have a baby. She said that's why I shouldn't
take my knickers off around boys till I'm a grown up. I asked if that
was why Laura Adams got in trouble for taking off her knickers in the
playground and Melanie laughed and said the boys my age weren't old
enough to do the special wee-wees yet. I asked why she hadn't had a
baby yet and she said she *never* takes her knickers off around boys
and neither does Annie.

Annie is Melanie's best friend.  I haven't seen her in ages, but
Melanie talks about her sometimes and I think she's brilliant. She
used to buy me sweets *and* she's got a motorbike, but she isn't
allowed to come around any more. Melanie wasn't either for a while. 
Melanie's really, *really* old. Nearly twenty. She used to live with
us, but she went to live with Annie last year. She got all her hair
cut off and Mom and Dad wouldn't talk to her.  [...] It was really
horrible. I don't have another sister, so the only person left to
play with was Thomas and he doesn't do anything except scream and poo
his nappies. I asked Mom why Melanie couldn't come back and she said
Melanie had done things they'd told her not to, like shaving her head
and being friends with Annie. So I asked if they'd stop loving me
too, if I cut all my hair off like Melanie. Then she went very quiet
and said it was complicated. They still don't talk to Melanie, but
they let her take me to McDonalds sometimes, if Annie doesn't go.
When I told Melanie what I'd asked Mom, she hugged me for ages and
bought me a big bag of sweets. I really like Melanie.

On Friday, I asked her how she knew about the babies, because Mom and
Dad didn't know. She said they did know and I said no, they didn't,
because I asked them and they both went all red because they didn't
know the answer. Melanie said Mom and Dad are repressed. I'm still
not sure what that means, but it must be something dead rude, because
when Laura Adams called me Lardy Bum, I called her repressed and she
got all quiet like she didn't know what to say. Laura Adams is stupid
anyway. She thinks she knows everything, but she doesn't, because she
said you caught babies from kissing and you don't. I told Melanie
that Laura was full of crap and she pinched me for swearing. I think
that's really unfair because Melanie swears all the time.
Melanie says she found out about the babies by herself. She says you
can sort of work it out as you go along. Then she said I wouldn't
have to, because I can ask her if I have questions. I was glad she
said that, because I always seem to have questions about things and
Mom and Dad are too busy with Thomas to answer most of the time. I
heard them argue about it one time. I'd only come downstairs to get a
drink of water, but then I heard my name, so I just sat on the stairs
and listened. Mom said Dad didn't help with Thomas and she couldn't
be expected to do everything. Then Dad told her that I was very
important and that if she didn't spend more time with me, telling me
what's what, then I'd end up like Melanie. I was glad he said I was
important, but I wouldn't mind ending up like Melanie. She works in a
pub in town and makes lots of money. She says one day she and Annie
are going to get their own pub and show Mom she can make a success of
herself. I hope she does, because Mom thinks she's thrown her life
away. I heard her say so once.

I asked Melanie why anybody would want to have babies if you had to
get weed on to have one. She said it wasn't exactly like that and
that some people really liked babies. I asked her if she was ever
going to have them and she went all quiet and said probably not, no.
Then she asked if I ever wanted to have babies and I said yes, I was
going to have lots and that my children were going to look just like
my husband. Then Melanie did that thing with her eyebrow that I can't
do, where she only lifts one of them and asked just who was my
husband going to be then? So I told her I was going to marry Boy
George and she laughed so hard, she knocked over her milkshake and it
went all over me.

Sometimes I *hate* Melanie.

The UGL fanfic Archive © Gemma, Tracey, Jade and Essy. Main Graphic courtesy of Spider Girl Graphix ©.kK