| BLONDES |
| One day a blonde named Sally was putting together a puzzle. She was stumped and very frustrated so she decided to ask her husband for help. "It's suposed to be a tiger!" she cried "Put the Frosties back in the box dear..." ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- If Santa, the Easter Bunny, and a smart blonde see two £50 notes on the floor, who would pick it first? None, because they don't exist! ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- One day, a blonde, a brunette, and a red-haired were driving a car in the middle of the desert, when it broke down, and the best optinon they had was to walk back to civilisation. So the red-haired woman said "I am going to take food in case I get hungry." Then the brunette said, "I'm going to take a drink in case I get thirsty." Then the blonde said, "I'm oging to take the car door so if I get hot I can just roll down the window." ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- One day, a blonde walks into a store to buy a TV. She walks up to the cashier and says "can I have a TV please?" And he says "Sorry, we don't sell TV to blondes." So the blonde dyes her hair and comes back. The cashier says "I'm sorry, we don't sell TV to blondes." So she goes back and has a makeover and dyes her hair again. Then she walks back into that store and the guy says "Sorry, we don't sell TV to blondes." So she asked him, "How do you know I'm a blonde?" and he replies, "The TV you want to get is a microwave!" ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A blonde wanted to take up helicopter lessons, so she did. After a while of practicing, she finaly got to have a go at flying it solo. Her instructor was in a room so every thousand feet she radiod in. one thousand - I think I'm starting to get the hang of this two thousand - this is great, I can do this quite well three thousand - I'm having the time of my life! so after fourthousand feet she didn't radio in and her instructor got woried so he looked out of the window and saw the helicopter crash. When she recovered he asked her - you was doing great, what happened. She said - well, I was doing really well untill it got to four thousand feet. It started to get chilly so I turned off that big fan at the top!! ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- There were three astronauts; a blonde, red-haired and brunet. They were planing where to go next. The red-haired and brunet were having this massive debat, red-haired wanting to go to Mars and brunet to Venus. finally, after a long time of thinking to herself, the blonde says 'I know where we can go next, to the Sun'. The other two then said 'what, you would burn.' ' Not if you went at night though, durr!' ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Two blondes walk into a bar. You would have thought at least one had seen it! A blonde missed the 44 bus, so she took two 22 buses instead! If you gave a blonde money for every thought she had, you'd get money back! If a blonde had to speak her mind, she'd be speachless! ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- What's the advantage of being married to a blonde? You get to park in the handicapped area How many blondes does it take to screw on a lightbulb? 4 - one to hold the lamp and the other to spin the chair! What about to put a pin on the wall? 101 - one to hold the pin and the other hundred to push the wall! What would you do if a blonde threw a hand granade at you? Take the pin off and throw it back! And what would you do if a blonde threw a pin at you? Run like hell, she's got a granade in her mouth! A plane crashed in a cemertery and this is what it said in BLONDE NEWS : plane crashed. Over 5000 dead and still counting. Two blondes, on their way to Florida went past a sign saying "Florida LEFT" so they turned around and went back home! |
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