CHAPTER 5


The warehouse was beginning to fill up, milling around were ghosts, zombies in varying states of decay, a few werewolves and even a couple of harpies, who were particularly looking forward to any screaming portions they could excel at.
It had been a logistical nightmare for Marc and Nigel, who'd been left to organise the troop of demons to sort out the venue.  the biggest headache so far was finding a way to fill in the huge hole left by Taralzebub earlier.  Fortunately the adjacent warehouse was an abbattoir and the hole was now filled with cow carcasses.  Luckily for all the crowd, they smelt even worse than the meat ever could so no one seemed to mind the stench.
All the equipment had been shipped in, from instruments to lights to styrofoam cups for the refreshments at the back of the arena.  Marc was pleased with the progress, only one hour to showtime and everything seemed to be going well.  Maybe he'd get promoted from plain boring ghosting to something with a bit more bite to it, maybe a bit of serious poltergeisting or evil manifestation.
Just then Nigel came running up and panting out of breath he wheezed,
"Clicker broken"
"Um..what?" asked Marc.
"Clicker broken" repeated Nigel
"Nope, still didn't get it"
"The clicker is broken!" shouted Nigel.
"Clicker? what's a clicker?"
"You know... that....thing"
"What thing?  I have no idea what you are on about man!"
Exasperated Nigel dry washed his face with his hands and said slowly pronouncing every word carefully, "The clicker for the introduction song Girls on film is broken"
"Ahh why didn't you say?" smiled Marc, but then his smile faltered when he realised the true implications of what Nigel had just said.  It was almost, no clicker, no show! the whole of the Duran show was based on a lousy clicker that had broken.
"Well fix it" hissed Marc.
"Tried that, just not possible, even with some dead world transportation it's still not possible in the time scale we've got"
"There must be something" whined Marc, his promotion crashing around his ears.
"Well there is one thing" said Nigel hesitantly.
"Anything, anything!"
Nigel turned to a figure waiting behind him and called him forward.
"Harry meet Marc, Marc meet Harry, this is our last chance clicker"
"But he's a zombie" hissed Marc through gritted teeth as he went to shake Harrys hand then changed his mind when he saw the extent of its decay.
"'Ow dos" said Harry smiling.
"Nigel please don't waste my time, I need a practical solution, not a knock kneed zombie" said Marc as he went to walk away.
"Wait!" called Nigel, "Listen to this" with a nod to Harry, Harry started.  With a sickening click Harry dislocated his jaw and started to chatter his teeth together, the sound that he produced was uncannily camera like.
"How does he do that?" asked Marc incredulously.
"I've no idea, but it's great though isn't it?" said Nigel.
"Fantastic, now just get him hidden on that stage, the band will be here soon and I don't want any more problems"
As Nigel scurried off with Harry, Marc was planning on how to engineer the clicking thing to his benefit so that he would get all the credit.  So wrapped up in his reverie he didn't feel the low booming that had commenced a minute before.


Elsewhere in the lift, Ali, Sherry and Carly were screaming.  As they seemed to be reaching a stop at the top, so the lift suddenly plummeted for what seemed an age.  Up until then they'd been quite optimistic as a tannoy voice had announced the impending concert.  It was as Carly was saying,
"Thank the Lord things are going right for a change" that the lift had begun to plummet down.  Ten minutes passed and they were beginning to falter with their screaming.
"AAAARRggghh?" said Ali.
"Aaa....ar...ah?" she faltered.  Shushing the others they stood looking at each other wonderingly as they continued to fall.
"I guess we'll be missing the concert then?" sighed Carly.
"I guess so" said Sherry, "It's not fair, I haven't seen them live for ages, I thought this dead thing was rubbish, then I thought it was cool and now it isn't again"
"Shh" said Ali, a change in tone of the humming lift seemed to be heralding the slowing of it.  As suddenly as it had started to fall, the lift stopped gently and the doors swished open.
A white light poured into the gloomy interior and momentarily blinded them.
"Can't see a thing" Said Ali.
"Shh...I can hear some people coming" whispered Sherry.
As they waited for their eyes to grow accustomed to the light, the figures approached them.  Suddenly Carly called out shocked,
"Aunty Beryl? is that you?"
"What?" asked Ali and Sherry as they span to look at Sherry then back again at the figures. As the figures closed in, all three girls began to recognise more and more of their familes and friends who had died prviously.  It was then that Carlys Aunty Beryl said,
"Hello dears, we've come to help you"
"Help in what way?" asked Sherry, maybe she would get to see a Duran concert after all.
"You've been lost my dears and now we've come to lay your souls to rest and join us on the other side" she smiled.
"But what about the concert?" wailed Sherry.
"No time, no time, we must go now, come on dear" she replied, holding her hand out to Carly.
All three girls felt ethereal hands grabbing them and pulling them into the light, thier ghostly substances becoming less and less.
"Oh well, this just isn't FAIR!" pouted Ali, "I was enjoying myself"
"Do we get to listen to any Duran while we're on the other side then?" asked Carly
"If you're good dear, if you're good"
"Well dammit" stomped Sherry as she and the others disappeared into the light.
All that lingered was a faint whisp of smoke and the tail end of Sherrys grumbling,
"I want to see someone in charge, I demand a recount!"



Back up on the surface, Nick peered out from behind the stage curtains at the crowd gathered outside.
"Eeekk!" he said, pulling his head in quickly, "I can't go out there!, there's people with limbs missing and everything" he shrieked, "I need a lie down!"
"Now come on Mr Rhodes" said Sharky placatingly, "That could be you, limbless, what if the ghost quota for the week had been full? you'd be a rotting mass by now let me tell you"
"Oh please, I would NEVER let myself become so run down" Nick replied.
sighing Sharky gave up trying to explain dead ethics to Nick and turned his attention to some fans that had managed to get back stage.
Simon, at long last was in his heaven, he had a show to do with hundreds of adoring fans and just now a gorgeous blonde had appeared fawning all over him.  When she asked for his signature he was only too happy to oblige.
"Where shall I sign then?" asked Simon with a twinkle in his eye.
"Oh, I've got no paper" fluttered the blonde
"No problemo" said Simon gleefully as he lunged for the girls cleavage and signed his name across the top of her boobs.
"Lucky swine!" muttered Warren as he was resigned to signing just pieces of paper.
A slow rumble started up as numerous hands were clapped and feet were stomped as the crowd became impatient.
"Right then!"  said John, "Lets go eh?"
They all trouped off to play their final concert, except Simon who had become ever so slightly waylaid by the buxom blonde.  The long arm of Sharky soon had him back in line ready to go on stage.

The lights dimmed, the crowd roared then the band leapt  onto the stage, with a flickering light as a cue, Harry started his jaw clicking and Girls on film kicked off the show.

The concert was a roaring success and unheading of Sharkys warnings the guys decided to play Rio as an encore.  All was well, until as predicted an awful lot of the audience became disgrutled with all the 's's in the chorus.  Tongues fell out as well as teeth, the harpies screamed louder than ever as they tried to lisp their way through.
Because of the cacophany no one noticed the rumbling and shifting of cow carcasses.  A few people near the filled in hole edged away slightly, but the pull to see the end of the concert proved too much and they ignore it all.
As Simon swung into the  "Neeeee-oww  lookit that" line, he saw he was now pointing at the Demon Taralzebub, who in noticing the breach of contract had appeared to claim its souls as promised, just a little bit early.  The band fell quiet as did the audience as Taralzebub said,
"ENOUGH"
"Spoilsport" mumbled one young zombie, unfortunately for him Taralzebub didn't take too kindly to insolence, so with a point of a claw he exploded into dust, his soul floating off to the deep dark depths of the demon lair.
"YOU!" it said pointing at Simon
"Me?" mouthed Simon wide-eyed.
"YES YOU!  YOU DEFIED THE CONTRACT" it boomed.
Sharky ran to the front of the stage with his hands held out pleadingly.
"But your Highness, please, it was an error honestly" he said glaring at Simon.
Simon just smirked back.
"ENOUGH LITTLE GHOST MAN, BEGONE BEFORE I CHANGE MY MIND ABOUT KEEPING YOU ON MY STAFF"
With that Sharky ran off as fast as he could, let the band deal with it themselves, he reasoned, not his fault they signed, not his fault they then broke the rules.  Let them have the consequences.  Now where was that obituary column, he had another band to hire.
"NOW THEN" Taralzebub said returning its attention to the band on the stage, "NOW I TAKE YOUR SOULS AS PROMISED"
"But hey!  that's not fair!" shouted Warren.
"Yeah, since when can you do that?" asked Simon.
"SINCE YOU SIGNED CONTRACTS MY FRIENDS, NOW COME ON HAND THEM OVER"
It was up to that point that John had been quiet and secretive but a nod of his head had Marc and Nigel reaching for a rope that held a net above the demon.  A net full of teeth.  at his nod the rope was pulled and a shower of teeth cascaded onto Taralzebub.
The effect was instantaneous, puffs of smoke began to billow above the demons head, great fissures opened in its skin and before anyone could run, scream or buy some popcorn for the show, Taralzebub exploded into a million  tiny pieces, a million soggy and gruesome pieces.
A cheer went up as a lot of the crowd realised they wouldn't have to hopefully fulfil their contracts either.  All eyes turned to John.
"How did you know that?" asked Nick in awe.
"Aha!"said John tapping the side of his nose, "I'm not just a pretty boy bass player eh?"
"Well done mate" said Simon as he clapped John on the back.
"Um...guys" said Warren
"What?" snapped John, was this man always going to steal his thunder?
"Just RUN!" Warren shouted as the crowd had decided to join them on the stage and even possibly have a piece of them.  In fact a few had slipped past security with ghost catcher bottles in the hope of a piece of a Duran man for all eternity.

As they ran down the street, hordes of fans following them, John turned to Simon and said,
"Hey Si, don't look now, but you kow that blonde bird whos boob you signed?"
"Yeah?" said Simon cockily trying to look behind himself.
"Well it just fell off"
"Christ, is that meant to happen?" asked Simon still trying to get a look.
"Zombies yes, ghosts no" replied John.
"Yuck, you mean I was hitting on a zombie?"
"Yep!" laughed John uproarously.
"That is just too gross" shuddered Simon. They continued to run,
"Jeez, I thought we'd left all this hysteria behind" wheezed John.
"C'mon this is great!" laughed Siomn, the boob shedding zombie struck from his mind.
Just then Nick tripped and fell, before he could pick himself up and follow the others, the assorted mix of fans were upon him.  His last sight before being lost amongst feet and other limbs was unsurprisingly the thing that had tripped him in the first place, it was a hardback copy of his book "Interference".  the pounding of thousands of ghost feet began to deafen him.
"Oh shit!, why did I have to do that damn book?" he muttered to himself as it went black.


Nick could just make out a voice calling him, but the pounding was still deafening him.
"What the hell?" he thought as he realised he was getting wet, still he could hear someone calling him.
Realising he was now in a shower he turned it off and stepped out into a bathroom, as he grabbed a  towel Maddy stepped into the room.
"For Gods sake Nick, get a move on!" she said.
"You can see me?" spluttered Nick.
"What? of course I can!" said Maddy
"But how...?"
"Look Nick, you're talking gibberish again, you're not a ghost or anything" laughed Maddy.
"No?"
"Look Nick, please stop fooling around, you'll be late for your flight"
"Flight?"
"Yes flight!" said Maddy exasperated, "Stop parroting me, it's your fault everyone has to get the afternoon flight anyway, everyone else wanted to get the 10.30 am one, but you being so lazy they had to wait for you"
"They?" asked Nick, having been struck by mono words
"Simon, Warren and John, who else?" concerned Maddy asked, "Are you ok"
Nick had gone very pale and it took all of his strength to mutter,
"Yeah I'm ok"
"Right then" Maddy  replied breezily, "The cab will be here soon, so get a move on" with that she turned and  walked back down the hallway.
Nick, still dripping from the shower just watched her go as he muttered,
"Oh shit"
But then shrugging to himself he went to get dressed, this time in a damn smart suit, he wasn't going to be caught out this time!



THE END!!!!


UKB looks frantically around, "is that it?? is it done?? Blimey!"  and promptly faints!