| Laughter The Best Medicine |
Knowledge ---------------- |
| Although this is very hard to believe Somesite Knowledge would actually have this section, things like these makes the site go on and on. Besides, if you are tired from learning all the curriculum, here is probably the "pokemon center" for your brain, so laugh up when you read these jokes. |
| A man and a woman went to a barbershop. The barbershop was right next to a postal office store. The couple went because the husband wanted to get a haircut, and he wanted his wife to come with him. They didn’t exactly have a “close” relationship, but they certainly didn’t hate each other. As the husband sat on a chair to get his haircut started, his wife sat down and browsed some magazines. She noticed people with amazing and inspiring hairstyle, and not planning on making some quick decisions, she though she should make a copy of it at the copy machine next door so when she went home with her husband they will decide together. As she asked the barber if she could make a quick drop next door to the copy machine, the barber asked for her to leave something important like a driver’s license or a credit card. She explained “But my husband is here getting a haircut.” “Yes,” the barber replied. “But I need something you will come back for.” Another couple was invited by a friend to go over and visit them. They agreed and drove to their house. They got lost when they reached the area, because it was new to them. They couldn’t find the certain street they were looking for. Eventually, after searching endlessly, they went to City Hall and asked for directions about a certain street. The policemen never heard of that street, neither did the cab drivers. The street name couldn’t even be seen on a map. Finally, a person recognized the street’s name, and we followed him to our friend’s house we were visiting. As we got out of the car, we and walked forward to an open window in his car, we gave him thanks, and asked whether he was a policemen or fire fighter, or anything similar to that. He said, “Neither, I deliver pizzas.” A mother and father went together for an anniversary, and left their daughter home alone to watch over the house. As the daughter was eating dinner, the phone rang, and the person asked to see her father. She answered, “No, sorry, he went to his wedding anniversary out of town.” Then the person asked to speak with her mother if she was home. A child and his brothers and sisters received a toy parrot for a Christmas present. It repeated everything you say, and repeats them. One day, after fooling around with the toy parrot, it dropped off a table by accident. Though the wings weren’t broken, it could no longer flap. The parents brought the toy back to the store, whispering each other that the toy was defective, and did not fall of the table, in order to get a refund or their money back. Immediately the toy parrot began to chant, “Fell of the table! Fell of the table!” A brother and a sister that were in their late teens were hanging around their house on a lazy Saturday. The brother noticed his sister wasn’t wearing here watch, and asked how come and why. She told him that wearing a watch was totally useless and that every room in her house had a clock. She also said that there was even a clock in the family’s’ car. Then the brother got more curious and asked what about if she went shopping? There were no clocks around in the mall. Then she replied that she’d buy something new or cheap and then look at the time on the receipt. A man was taking a good look at his garden, but around every 10 to 15 minutes or so his neighbor would always run out of his house to check his mailbox. The man knew that the mailman comes once a day in the afternoon, except on Sundays. When he saw his neighbor run out of his house again, for maybe the fifth or sixth time, he asked “Expecting a special delivery?” The neighbor replied “No, but my computer keeps telling me I’ve got mail.” Once again, another another couple visited a shop as they drove around the city. They remembered they left their camera at the shop when they came home. So, they went back to the shop a couple weeks later, and happily, the clerk did find their lost camera and did save it for them. They thanked him and left the store. Days later when they processed the camera’s films, two extra photos showed up. One is a picture of the clerk holding a sign saying “I found your camera.” The second picture showed another man holding a sign saying, “I took his picture.” There was this really smart man. Smart as in intelligent. He was sagacious and perspicacious. He job was a store manager of a grocery store. Then there was this customer who knew how smart he was. He was amazed at how smart he was, and asked him what was his secret. The store manager said that it was a secret, and he really shouldn’t tell just anyone. But since the person was a loyal customer, so he decided to let it in on him. He told him the secret of his knowledge was to eat fish heads, lots of fish heads. The customer did, and one week later he came back, saying he doesn’t feel any smarter. The store manager told him to eat more. Weeks later the customer came back, angrier than ever. He shouted “Here I buy a fish’s head for 4 bucks, while I can buy an entire fish for 2 bucks. I’ve been ripped off! Worse, I still don’t feel any smarter!” “Oh no no,” replied the store manager. “You see, you’re gotten much smarter already.” *Maybe smart as in money smart! A car was parked in the tow-away zone. A tow truck took notice and got the tools to tow the car out. But tow trucks can only do it so fast. For there was an angry driver waiting for the tow truck to leave and take his parking spot. A suspicious person like SPP mentally studies people. He would most likely build a machine with a slot, and showing in letters "How Gullible Are you? To Find Out, Insert $50." *And how do you know if he didn't make a lot of money out of it? A mother and his second-grade boy walked into the hospital for an eye checkup. The doctor asked if the little child thought he had good eye vision. The little child said yes. Then as he took his seat, the doctor asked for him to say the letters off the sign. He couldn't identify the letters of it. Then the doctor asked him to say thr bigger letters on the sign. The child still could not say it. Then the doctor asked how can he think he has good eye vision if he couldn't say the letters? The child answered he didn't learn the words yet. As a customer in a big famous library of a university came up to the clerk to select a book, the clerk told him that he is one of the lucky people that first got to select that book in many many years. As the clerk viewed his library I.D., the name was the same as the authors. *What an insult to the author. A farmer stood leaning on a fence at the edge of his property. He watched as a red sports car came over the top of a hill and followed the road up to the spot where he stood. The driver pulled over to the side of the road and called out to the farmer. "Do you know how I can get to Route 91?" the driver asked. The farmer thought for a few seconds. Then he said, "Nope." "Do you know where the nearest turnpike entrance is?" the driver asked. "Nope." "How about the town of Hadley. Do you know which direction it is from here?" "Nope." Exasperated, the driver raced his engine. "You don't know very much, do you?" he said. "Nope," the farmer replied. "But I'm not lost." |