A: No. I felt like putting up another page and couldn't particularly think of anything funny enough to warrant its own page so this will have to do for now.
Q: Why all the annoying backgrounds? It makes it kind of hard to read the stuff you've written.
A: Yes. It does. I'm actually part of an evil scheme with SpecsaversTM trying to give the world eye strain to make a huge profit. Actually, I just like these cool backgrounds. I think they give my page a disjointed mental asylum escapee kind of look.
Q: I know you pretty well John, so why do you feel like you have to tell people all this information as if they don't know any of it, when we've all got some brief acquaintance with the facts?
A: Detatching myself from any associations means I can feel free to put down my emotions and thoughts without too much worrying about any consequences or how people might react. It also gives me a chance to collate all my thoughts and put them down in some sort of order.
Q: Why isn't your page as funny or as moving as Richard's?
A: Because he's a cunt.
Q: Dinosaur as a career? What's that all about?
A: It was late and I was tired.
Q: You've mentioned something about clues and a hidden quest in passing on some of the other sections of your page...
A: Yes. I have.
Q: So...?
A: Its a HIDDEN QUEST. HIDDEN. As in secret. Jesus.
Q: While we're on the subject of stuff not making sense, what's all this "Wednesday Evenings" bollocks about?
A: Wednesday Evening were pretty much the highlight of my life. Not as ecstaticly happy as The Dragonfly Moment, but consistently brilliant. Week in, week out. I want them back but unfortunately that's never going to happen. Anyway, you can figure it out.
Q: How come there isn't any "cuss up of Tara Palmer-Tomkinson" or any signs of you being the "metaphorical tap of hatred" that you once were.
A: I've kind of vented off all that contempt and hatred, and now live vicariously through Leigh.
Q: Why all the weird links on every picture?
A: Originally it was to give links to my friend's pages but not everybody has one. I didn't like the fact that some pictures had links and not others so I tried to give a link that is either associated with the subject of the picture, the personality of the person (if the picture is of a person) or something interesting. So, through my page you can find out about the wonders of Dragonflies, Chaos Theory or even order some heavy duty agricultural equipment.
Q: What is it about Harley Quinn? You do know that she's not real?
A: Harley Quinn is a Grade A, Gold Plated, Faberge Egg of a babe. Its not just her appearance (because I do know she is a drawing) but the personality given to her in the comic/cartoon. Kooky. Besides, nobody knows who Mercy is so I can't go on about her all the time.
Q: Where do babies come from?
A: When a mummy and a daddy love each other very much they share bubblegum.
Q: How come there are people missing from the People pages? You said it just wasn't going to be friends but acquaintances as well and I see no mention of Hellen or Matt Welburn or anybody like that.
A: I'm lazy. They will go up at some point.
Q: Zombies just get one paragraph? If I remember correctly they had about 7 pages on your old homepage...
A: You did read the answer to the previous question, right?
Q: Just how many people have you slept with? And how did you keep managing it?
A: Too many and I'm not sure.
Q: What's the square root of 247?
A: Ask Peck.
Q: You've frequently referred to "The Other Lot" and "The Voice In You Head". Should we be getting you accomadation with Rory? You're kind of frightening me with that stuff...
A: The voice in my head isn't a real voice its just my own low self-esteem providing the thoughts before my logical mind can look at them. I'm fortunate in that I can recognise my own patheticness and stupid thoughts for what they are, but I do sometimes believe them. The Other Lot are a real group of people I've all classified together. People I know that are all linked through one common interest. I do not like them.
Hey, this has actually turned out to be better than I thought it would. Rock on!