Terrence - Comedy ringleader of the Massive. Y'see, all of us are pretty funny people, but it was only through getting to know Terrence at Secondary School that I understood that comedy can be the reason for being. Its actually the main unifying factor of our group of friends, our sense of humour. I guess this makes Terrence the butter in our sandwich of friendship. Not only is Terrence a top grade comedy nerd and japester, he also attained the highest ranking in the Lancashire Maths Challenge out of our group of friends. He's in Warrington right now, but it shouldn't be long before he's in a mansion in L.A. or something. I associate Terrence with the song Cigarettes and Alcohol by egotistical mancunian songsters Oasis.
Phil - The musician. I originally came to know stupidly optimistic Rovers fan Phil through Henry, and I believe he was introduced to me as "The Pervert". Phil - the master of the Single Entendre. You can tell from the picture that he's a musician, ironically choosing the organ as his primary instrument. Me and Phil tend to focus on irrelevancies when talking, getting lengthy conversations out of the most unimportant of subjects - dictionary manufacture, worms and so on. Phil is now married, but still manages to come up with a good level of perversity. I also think its important to remember that "Carsley played well". I associate Phil with the song Nightcrawler by homosexual brummie metallers Judas Priest.
ESP - Accrington liason. The most recent addition to the Massive. ESP is Wiggy's lady friend from Accy and is disturbingly cool. She started off as a pretty girl that Wiggy was courting, but grew in stature due to her love of sci-fi, cockney gangster surname and scarily mature attitude for a (at the time) seventeen year old. That's the main thing about ESP, she's five and a bit years younger than me and some of my friends, yet is equally cool. Even so, I still feel that I don't really know her that well, other than insignificant pop-culture connections that we share. I once had a dream about ESP where she was a Shang Tsung-like sorceror and went around firing flaming skulls at people, and that's always in the back of my mind when I see her. I associate ESP with the song Theme to Rawhide by respected TV theme composer, Dmitri Tiomkin.
Richard - The writer. No, its not merely his penmanship, but his skills with the English Language. Richard's ability to write is strange, as he spent most of his time in English lessons at school roleplaying with me at the back of the class, ignoring that Jamaican chap who taught us. I think out of everybody I know, I'd most like to be Richard. He can be funny, poignant, intelligent and drunk all at the same time. He was the first of us to start writing things for public consumption here on the internet, and everything else the rest of us does is merely a pale imitation. Richard's another one of the Old School of the Massive, and I've shared many wonderful times with him. I associate Richard with the song Panic by anti-semitic gay-lord Morrisey and the rest of ?????The Smiths.
Kasia - The grown-up. Kasia may be Phil's wife, which should be the first thing you think of when talking about her, but its not the case. The first thing is that she's an American. I've known her for like, 3 or 4 years now, and I'm still having difficulty adjusting to the fact that she's from Colorado. Kasia's one of those people who would excel at being a guest at a posh dinner party, she's charming, well rounded and isn't a slave to the rules of comedy like the rest of us. Talking to Kasia makes you feel like you can fit in with the rest of society, and all our idiosincracies aren't as hateful as you sometimes suspect. I associate Kasia with the song 747 by tight pant wearing aging rockers Saxon. And I don't know why.
Wiggy - The sex pest. After ESP, Wiggy is the newest of the group. Despite having only known him for a couple of years, I've grown closer to him faster than I have anyone else (with the exception of Steven). Wiggy is quite the casanova, having a Stringfellow like ability to attract women to him without actually doing anything. He also has excellent detective skills and a very small personal space. Wiggy's similar to Steven in that he seems to look after me for no real reason. Actually, the way I really see Wiggy is what I would be like were I not such an emotional cripple. Like I do with Richard, I often have moments where I wish I was him. Watching Empire Records with him was one of the highlights of the past 365 days. I associate Wiggy with the song Hallelujah by mancunian drug-addicts The Happy Mondays.
Dan - Our leader. Even though Dan didn't go to Pleckgate, or attend college at the same time as the older ones, he's still the leader of the group. Dan is one of those people who has had too much life happen to him, and could be the inspiration for a series of novels. Dan was the first person who ever made me speak in a serious manner about things, back in the holidays of my first year at university. Dan is very politically active and aware, and has really awoken that side of me because of his genuine passion for the topic. Despite being our leader, and the hub of the group, he still has an amazing talent for getting in the way of his own life, which causes me (and I imagine the rest of us too) some distress in witnessing it. Nevertheless, he's back off to Uni this year and I expect him to return with a plan, more stories and a girlfriend. I associate Dan with the song Brothers in Arms by m-o-r guitar virtuosos Dire Straits.
Henry - The Jock. Another one of the boys from Pleckgate, Henry is also very grown up, and has always been that way. He's married, and has been married for the longest and owns a house and all those other grown-up things that I almost did but fucked up. Henry is probably the most sporty of all of us, Peck is very sporty too, but doesn't look it. He plays American Football, goes to the gym and just plain looks like a jock. We share a love of video games, both old and new, as well as an interest in comics and cartoons. Someo f the best times from college were spent at his dad's house watching Cartoon Network or playing Big Red Racer. Henry also seems to have a (more muted) ability to attract women, and I'm sure that this also includes Wiggy's foxy sister. The bastard. I associate Henry with the song Inkanyezi Nezazi by African a capella hummers Ladysmith Black Mambazo.
Michelle - The therapist. She may be younger than most of us, and may be Dan's sister, but its impossible to conceive of a Massive without Mashy. Curerntly in Sheffield allegedly doing a psychology degree, Mashy is now a drunkard. She had always displayed good levels of alcohol appreciation, but has now made it up to the Richard level of alcohol abuse. Despite using scumbag psychology tricks on us, Mashy is kind of like a therapist - I never worry about saying anything to her, she's got this "I won't judge you" thing going on, and she's easy to talk to. I'm not sure if she has a boyfriend at the moment, or whether they've just split up - but he's quite patently a cunt and Mashy deserves someone far better. A warning to any blokes who do want to get to know her though - you will be subjected to a severe gauntlet by the rest of us. In all honesty, Mashy has the best chance of making something of her life out of all of us. I associate Mashy with the song Dancing Queen by Swedish gay icons ABBA.
Peck - The genius. Whilst we're all pretty intelligent people, Peck really conveys genius well. He has a masters in some kind of complex maths subject from Warwick and despite being placed lower than Terrence in the Lancashire Maths Challenge, he does have a rain-man like human calculator thing going on. Peck's also a martial artist and a bowler and a big drinker, despite being a thin-arms like Richard. He's working down in Grantham at the moment, having escaped from the nightmare of Blackburn. Peck has two levels of drunkeness "Can't tell" and "completely incapable." I associate Peck with the song Get The Party Started by Dusty Springfield wannabe lezzer Pink.