And that's the bottom line.
The Bionic Redneck.
Finishing Moves:
The Edge-O-Matic, The Unprettier,
The Con-Chair-To
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| Tell a lot of people that you're into wrestling and they'll look at you like you're from Mars and inevitably tell you that its not real. Possibly the most annoying thing in the world. The way they lean forwards as if they're letting you into some big secret. "Really? I thought it was a documentary!" Jesus. If somebody says that they're into Eastenders nobody ever leans forward with that know-it-all grin and says in that serious tone of voice "Its not real you know." So why do people feel obliged to do that to us wrestling fans. We know! We're not thick! That's NOT THE POINT! Nobody pretends that its real. They haven't done for years! In the self-contained "world" of the shows its treated as if its real, exactly as with pretty much everything else on TV. During the middle of Ally McbloodyBeal she doesn't lean towards the camera and tell people that its not real so why should wrestlers do that? Its entertainment. With a difference. For all those people who look down on wrestling and the "quality of the acting" remember that all the programmes are filmed live. There isn't much time for rehersals with all the training and house (non-televised) shows. Oh, and another thing for all those anti-wrestling people - don't think that when you're spouting all your "fake blood" and "plastic chairs" theories that you sound intelligent. You are almost always wrong. Wrestling fans can tell when they use fake blood and fake weapons, and when they use real ones. We care about wrestling and we know a lot about it. We know which moves look cool but don't hurt that much (like the Backbreaker) and which moves look pretty crap but actually hurt like a bastard (chops). Don't patronise us, don't tell us what's happening, don't tell us its not real and don't think you know more about it than we do. You don't. You are stupid. You are a snob. And if you're not careful you're heading for a Chair Shot. Then you'll see how "plastic" the chairs are and how "fake" your blood is. Generally, we're just better people than you. So piss off. And that's the bottom line. |
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| Andre the Giant and Hulk Hogan. Two very big men. | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
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| Blood. Of the real variety. I love Mick Foley but I wish he didn't do this to himself. | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Right, rant over. As you can guess, I'm pretty passionate about my wrestling, and I have been since I was about 8ish. As in 8 years old, not an hour ago. And at the moment, as always happens with wrestling, its a bit rubbish. Wrestling goes in cycles. Most of the stuff from the early 90's was absolutely horrendously bad, but I'd still keep up with what was going on. And them, get to about 97 and its massive all of a sudden. True to form its swinging back down, the reason it went crap was that it was stale, they needed something to really shake it up and make people look at it in a new way and the "Attitude" era did this, it jazzed it all up, highlighted the athleticism and gave the fans what they actually wanted, not what they thought they wanted. And that was pretty much down to guy on the left: Stone Cold Steve Austin. At the time I hated him. I hated his popularity, I hated his beer drinking, I saw him as the new Hulk Hogan - too popular and forced down our throats but then I started to change my point of view, there was a major difference between Stone Cold and Hulk Hogan. Stone Cold was.....good. He shook up the wrestling world and quickly became the most popular wrestler of all time. He drank beer, he gave people the finger, he drove a pickup and he had the most amazing finishing move - the stunner. A rubbish looking move, that in all plausibility could never hurt if used "properly" but somehow it was exciting. Kick them in the stomach and sit down holding their head. But it came out of nowhere and had an amazing effect on the crowd. If we think about wrestling at this time you had guys like Stone Cold, Shawn Michaels, Mick Foley and groups like D-X and the nwo. Wrestling was looking pretty damn good. | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
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| Stone Cold Steve Austin. The Bionic Redneck. |
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| D-Generation X. They were damn cool. | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| And fast forward to the Golden Age. From the tail end of '99 to halfway through '01 was truly the golden age of wrestling. The finest athletic performances, the most sensible storylines, and pure comedy genius. And for this we can thank three men. The first of those men being one of my absolute heroes - Mick Foley. Mick Foley. The Hardcore Legend. The King of the Deathmatch. The guy who went to Japan, wrestled in drawing pins, in barbed wire and even on beds of nails. The man who lost an ear in Munich and who burned his arm on plastic explosive (yes, Japanese wrestling can be pretty mad, and lets face it, does it surprise you?). And now - the comedy genius. Over the couple of years leading up to my Golden Age he was demonstrating his sense of humour and his autobiography clearly showed his intelligence, his love for his family and his dedication to wrestling. And then he became the Commissioner of the WWF. (WWE as it is now) A role which required him to talk a lot and not actually wrestle. And wrestling became genuinely funny. I mean, a lot of the time the humour in wrestling was a bit of a source of embarrassment for wrestling fans but all of a sudden it became laugh out loud funny. How could this man who been in all these hideously violent matches be a comedy genius? It was as if wrestling had become perfect and the two other guys who contributed to this perfection were the most winningest tag-team in WWF history, the Canadian Goth Surf Dudes - Edge and Christian. Edge and Christian brought a nerdy edge (pardon the pun) to wrestling. It was as if all it was about was them having a laugh with their buddies while they happened to be on National Television. It wasn't just about the comedy though (although the introduction of the Kazoo to play other wrestler's entrance music was sheer genius) it was also about their in-ring performances. The TLC matches were unlike any other wrestling match I have ever seen. They were more like a Hong Kong action scene with no wires or re-takes. OK, the Hardyz and the Dudleys had a lot to do with it but Edge and Christian really were something else. It was as if they had somehow channelled the charisma of Shawn Michaels, the athleticism of Ricky "The Dragon" Steamboat, the in-ring psychology of Dusty Rhodes, the intelligence of Jesse "the Body" Ventura, the mike skills of Jake "The Snake" Roberts and thrown in some Wayne's World humour to boot. Never will this age be equalled. | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
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| Mick Foley. Hardcore Legend. | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
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| The most winningest tag-team of all time - Edge and Christian. Finishing Moves: The Edge-O-Matic, The Unprettier, The Con-Chair-To |
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