so i say still away sleep close my eyes. an image of your face traced in white sand underneath indefined i lay down arms outstreatched i embrace the fall. and all the times i tried to let you know discomfort comes clearly sometimes you see right through me.

reply: words. your married to your pain.

reply: although you hit me hard i come back. the eath cries ease the pain. on the inside run behind. on the inside which one will i face?

reply: thin comfort in what i say. my back is turned a halo my soul for a while and all the time i tried to let you know. discomfort comes clearly.

• 
  while drinking some time in july i thought it wasn't approprait to put on the page. but i realize now it was some thing i should ahve done a long time agao. it was sitting in my .html section and i guess today is the day. to bad it wasn't understood earlier. i learned my lession. if i ever feel like writing something like this to someone some day i will eather give it to them or leave them. Feelings like this done need to lay arround.
  How can you explain the pain endured when the person you love. throws it back into your face and the only thing you can do about it is try to be drink to block out the face of who happend when in their presence alchoal only inhibits out dicision making and worsens the situation. But the alchoal wont sufice because of the addrennelin running through your veins. waiting for the test is a true buzz kill. even if it werent a love . any testt on a person who is close to you lingers enough to ruen a perfictly good feeling. This feeling isn't so needed. just the fact that it is taking up to much of my time. i for instance can recall the circumstances in my time wich in my mind all the while plays back sights of lacking and supression. who knows, i know. i am bad in bed. I am a bad lover. I am something to have in the closet for a while that makes you feel fun when you put in on. maby even wanted. but never in the moment never where skin can feel skin in the way that makes your veins scream and your heart jump out of your mouth. i will see you wilt into some one elses arms and hold them in their sleep, soon after you ahve tasted their skin in a way i can never let you. This moment is where i could see you in a lucid mement and know that my feelings are yours and this one kiss means as much to me as to you and i am not cutting the anamosity with a knife but the tension in the room that we ahve all been patiently awating to break. and when it happens the world could be in my hands your hour mind and mine mingel and make good use of eachother. this is a far fetched fantacy that i will not have any time in the near fueature because of costume and fucing thought out tridition. And deciet is your name so dont throught it back at me . do not tell me your dont understand. i am not controoling . If you dont want me to be this way than dont be the way that you are and i will let you go . do not ecpect me to be paintly on the side for your own trophy of truth and suspision. i will not be a toy so naive as to stay more than one slip. you will not play me. if fucking were your game dont say you love. loving and fucking can be the same but fucking and love are a different story. so slip into her with your sexual creativity. but dont loose your body and soul in it. Side note. laying hands on another person is not selective it is who you are no matter who is playing the victum. No one diserves it.
  I never know what to say on these things. I think I'm going to make a web page.

  Your Slim Options

  • Things I can't comprehend.This is where the stupidity of others makes the left side of your brain look at the right and they will say in unison, "It is dark in here."
  • Thought for the day, if you dare subject yourselves to the stupidity of my mind.
  • Jenny's poetry for this mighty bombardment of words and emotion.
  • A schpiel that dares cross the lines of love.This is going to make you sick.
  • good bands AHHHHH NOISE
  • about sarah Touch Me NOW!!!.
  • our e-mails Talk to me!!!
  • questions without answers, If you really want to know a
  • message area is now in place. PLEASE(!) feel free to speak.
    
  • introspective (im a long way from home)what im up to
    
  
  

  because i have so much to say... i don't i guess. I'm just trying to do something to make my life seem a little more eventful, then again, this is a computer and i am a loser so hummm..... I guess this is pretty sad. The entails of this page should include genres such as music, books, some very beautiful poetry and then again some not so good poetry. You can count on a lot of bad spelling and a lot of punctuation errors. Comments or art hahah and maby answer some of those questions that are so rediculous you don't even know why you think them ;E.G: Are aliens more likely to contact me through a.m. or f.m. radio....Now that's a tough one that i have been toying with for the last few days no matter how long i wait they still haven't contacted me on either. Also i hope to have a section devoted to stupid things that i hear think or do... such as while i was flipping throught all the clogged channels on the a.m. radio i came across a country station and in this one particular song i heard the words...THE wellfare people came to take the baby.. Need i say more... any way i better work on this site some more i don't think it's too aestheticly pleasing to look at some meaningless ramblings than may not make sense to anyone but me in black and white i mean if you wanted that you would have asked me to write you an e-mail. By the way i think it is quite possible that i hate you. I can't be quite sure though. At least not yet.
  

  DIGNIFYING MY IGNORANCE IN HASTE I FELL

  OH COMELY Oh comely I will be with you when you loose your breath Chasing the only meaningful memory you thought you had left With some pretty bright and bubbly terrible scene that was doing her thing on your chest But oh comely it isn't as pretty as you'd like to guess in your memory Oh drunk on your autonomy It dosn't mean anything at all OH COMELY!! All of your frinds are letting you blow, bristling and ugly bursting with fruits falling out from the holes of some pretty bright and bubbly friend you could need to say comforting things in your ear But oh comely there isn't such one friend that you could find here standing next to me. He's only me enemy. I'll crush him with everything i own Say what you want to say and hang from your hollow ways. Moving your mouth to pull out all of your miracles??? for me. The music and medicine you needed for comforting So make all your fat fleshy fingers to moving and pluck all your silly strings and bend all your notes for me soft sully music is meaningfull magical the movements were beautiful all in your overies all of them milking with green fleshey flowers while powerful pistons were sugary sweet machines smelling of semen under the garden was all you were needing when you still believed in me. Say what you want to say and hang for your hollow ways. Moving with your mouth to pull out all our miracle ??? for me i wish i would save her in some sort of time machine know all our enemies we know who are enemies are know all your enemies we know who are enemies are Goldaline my dear we will find and freeze together far away from here there is sun and spring and green forever but now we move to feel for ourselves inside some strangers stomach place your body here let your skin begin to blend intelf within in mine	Today was the day that we packed all our secrets and moved them to new locations and kept our hearts on our slieves. I realized that after about 15+ hours our facades begin to break down and our nerves were exposed and I realized we are leaving and moving into the memories. We will forever have but know that some will be forgotton and misconstrued to the stories told and dreams misinterpted as real. I use to only dream of an event like the one she was and now i go back to dreaming but its not the same with my innocences gone and knowing what it feels like to have my heart beat fast,... naive as I was I should have stepped back and looked at the conquence of tasting heaven, then being cast out. This felt a lot better the first time I wrote it and for got to push save.. Now i dont want to write it again but it would have been a loss to waste my thoughts on myself because after all the only thing I gained from this experience was a little depression and frustration. At least I have my heart beat faster, almost like a kiss of cotton candy and Shnapps from the music of Neurtal Milk Hotel ##9 and I would be a joke if my heart ever beat fast from the company of another person so life goes on and I realize that i will be alone for a long time..I have no group of friends to talk to, no church to attend, no addiction I can willingly feed, no one that wants me to love them, no dog, no cat, no fish (PIMENTO) only a computer that I don't understand and a bunch of books I will never finish reading. Now I'm at Ben's house and he is telling me that geocities for some reason won't let me have a forum and that I need to make a link. Goddamned!!!!!!I feel so much better the second I step out of my appartment. I don't even care about the face that everything changed when I leave.. I wish I had more to say the only reason I'm writing more is because I don't feel like making more tables for the stupid side red shit that is confusing the hell out of me right now... I wish I had a fucking book here to tell me what the hell I'm doing... oh well. Life sucks. And then you see my web page. And then you'll call me for a good time. But you won't have a good time, because I'm even more boring in person. I'm the physical manifestation of bordom. Well today im sitting at amazing grace after monotenous hours of slaving over some horrendously greesey fries and moldy milk at bottoms of garbage cans that for some reason allways ends up spilling thus making my body emmit for the rest of the day that fowel oder grrr. actually i only had to work for like 3 hours but yesterday was 12 im a little bit lazy and i like to complain but i think its not that bad in all actuality.My eyes are still clean while im observing and trying to be my self amist denying the known i feel happy. atleast now i have anticipation about the future and know that some day some-one has to come along. Life i guess is kind of dull if you allways know who is going to be there when you wake up comforting but all the same redundant. I dont feel like writing any thing really today i dont know why im trying..	In your heart there is a spark that just screams for a lover to bring a child to your chest that could lay as you sleep and love all you have left like i usto be long ago wrapped in sheets warm and wet blister please with those wings in your spine love to be with a frind of mine how he'd love to find your toung in his teeth in a struggle to find secret songs that you kept wrapped in boxes to tight sounding only at night as you sleep and in my dfreams youre alive and your crying as your mouth moves in mine sot and sweet rings of flowers round your eyes and i love you for the rest of your life we are one in the same and you left with your head filled with flames and you watches as your brains fell out through your teeth push the peices in place make you smile sweet to see dont you take this away IM STILL WANTING MY FACE ON YOUR CHEEK and wnen we break we'll wait for our miracle to headed boy she is all you could need she will feed your tomatoes and readio wires and retire to sheets safe and clean but dont hate her when she gets up to leave