10. Your annual breast exam is conducted at Hooters.

9. Directions to your doctor's office include, "Take a left   when you enter the trailer park."

8. The tongue depressors taste faintly of Fudgesicles.

7. The only proctologist in the plan is "Gus" from Roto-Rooter.

6. The only item listed under Preventive Care coverage is "An apple a day."

5. Your "primary care physician" is wearing the pants you gave to Goodwill last month.

4. "The patient is responsible for 200% of out-of-network charges" is not a typo.

3. The only expense covered 100% is embalming.

2. With your last HMO, your Prozac didn't come in different   colors with little "M"s on them.

And the Number 1 Sign You've Joined a Cheap HMO. . .

1. You ask for Viagra; you get a Popsicle stick and duct tape.         

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