BE ON THE LOOK OUT FOR THE FOLLOWING VIRUSES:

•  CLINTON VIRUS
  Gives you a 7 Inch Hard Drive with NO memory.
  
  
• VIAGRA VIRUS
  Makes a new hard drive out of an old floppy.
  
  
• LEWINSKY VIRUS
  Sucks all the memory out of your computer, then emails everyone about what it did.
  
  
• RONALD REAGAN VIRUS
  Saves your data, but forgets where it is stored.
  
  
• MIKE TYSON VIRUS
  Quits after two bytes.
  
  
• OPRAH WINFREY VIRUS
  Your 300 MB hard drive suddenly shrinks to 100 MB, then slowly expands to 200 MB.
  
  
• DR. JACK KEVORKIAN VIRUS
  Deletes all old files.
  
  
• ELLEN DEGENERES VIRUS
  Disks can no longer be inserted.
  
  
• TITANIC VIRUS (A strain of the Lewinsky Virus)
  Your whole computer goes down (but I think "we go on").
  
  
• DISNEY VIRUS
  Everything in your computer goes Goofy :}.
  
  
• PROZAC VIRUS
  Screws up your RAM but your processor doesn't care.
  
  
• JOEY BUTTAFUCO VIRUS
  Only attacks minor files.
  
  
• ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER VIRUS
  Terminates some files, leaves, but IT WILL BE BAAAAACK.
  
  
• LORENA BOBBIT VIRUS
   Reformats your hard drive into a 3.5 inch floppy, then discards it through Windows.
  
  
  
  ~ not so serious mail ~
  
  ~ serious mail ~
  

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