A man with a bald head and a wooden leg is invited to a Halloween party. He doesn't know what costume to wear to hide his head and his leg so he writes to a costume company to explain the problem. A few days later he receives a parcel with a note:

Dear Sir,
Please find enclosed a pirate's outfit. The spotted handkerchief will cover your bald head, and with your wooden leg you will look just right as a pirate.

The man is offended because they have emphasized his wooden leg, so he writes a letter of complaint. A week passes and he receives another parcel and a note which says:

Dear Sir,
Please find enclosed a monk's habit. The long robe will cover your wooden leg and with your bald head you will really look the part.   

  Now the man is really annoyed since they have gone from emphasizing his wooden leg to emphasizing his bald head, so he writes the company another nasty letter of complaint.

The next day he receives a small parcel and a note which reads:

Dear Sir,
Please find enclosed a bottle of molasses. May we suggest you pour the molasses over your bald head, stick your wooden leg up your ass and go as a caramel apple!