The creation of man as I see it...

11th Grade English is stupid shit.  I wrote this tonight in about 15 minutes, I had to make my very own tale of creation, after reading one by the Iroquois.

In the world before man, there were giants who lived in a flat, monotonous land.  These monstrous maniacs loved to fight; they would fight all day just for fun in huge free-for-alls.  The biggest giant, named Jumbotron was the best fighter of all, mostly because of his sheer strength and size.  He was five times as tall as the tallest of giants, and could lift ten times as much.  All the other giants despised him and wanted him dead. One day, the smaller of the giants planned to defeat Jumbotron by teaming up, thirty against one.  They decided to stand on each others shoulders, giving them a combined height five times taller than Jumbotron’s.  Then, they would jump on him, pinning him to the ground.  They then trained in secret, as to not make the great one suspicious.  They worked at their acrobatics for months on end. The day finally came to get rid of Jumbotron, and the giants piled on top of each other, one by one.  When Jumbotron awoke from his nightly sleep, he was shocked to behold the behemoth in front of him.  He stood up and said, “Ooga-booga, what you doing idiots?”  Just then, the pile of monsters crashed down on Jumbotron.  They fell to the ground in one huge pile.  They fell so hard and fast that the whole Earth quaked.  Shockwaves were sent all around the land, and the crust began to ripple.  When all was calm, the land was deformed.  Some parts were jutting high into the sky, while other parts had sunk low into the ground.  This is why you see the mountains, valleys, and other geographic anomalies of today. When the giants hit the ground, they shattered into millions of pieces.  Each piece of giant became one man or woman.  The explosion threw giant-chunks all around the world, creating the many diversified people of today.

After reading that, you may be wondering, "Why does Lee always center his text?"  Well I'll tell you why, it's because the goddamn tab key doesnt work in GeoCities.

What are my thoughts on creation?  It's all bullshit.  Sure, we might never know exactly what happened, but I'll put my money on science. GIMMIE YOUR MONEY! Throughout history there have been many different myths on the creation of man and the universe.  People today think the Iroquois are dumbasses for believing some bullshit about a woman falling through the sky and landing on a turtle.  Take a look at your religion and see who the dumbass is. If you think someone other than me created the universe, you're a dumbass. If you believe I created the universe then you're great. If you believe in all that sciency-big-bang stuff, then you're alright.

... but I'm telling you, I did it.

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