We're the best in the land
We're big in both Chelsea and France
I play one mean guitar and then score at the bar
There's a line of chicks waiting for their chance
I can bench press a car
I'm an ex football star
with degrees from both harvard and yale
Girls just can't keep up
I'm a really love machine
I've had far better sex while in jail
I designed the Sears tower
I make two grand an hour
I cook the world's best duck flambe
I'll take the pick of the liter
And girls jockey for me
I don't need these lines to get laid
I'm the man of the night
A real ladies delight
See, my figure was chisled from stone
One more for the gal then I'll escort her home
Come last call, I'm never alone
I own a house on the hill with a red water bed
It puts Hugh Heffnor's mansion to shame
With girls by the pool and italian sports cars
I'm just here in this dump for the game
I'm a pitiful site
And I ain't all that bright
I'm definitly not chisled from stone
I'm a cheat and a liar
No women's desire
I'll probably die cold and alone