MY FEET SMELL.
	Recently, I have been tying my boots tight like a mutha.  I started to notice that when I take them off, I smell like vinegar and dog shit. I have deduced, by the scientific method, that my foot odor problem is being caused by the aforementioned tightness of my boot laces.  They cut off all air from my feet, and as you probably know, that leads to sweat, which leads to stink-ass odor. The solution?  None.  I dont give a damn that my feet smell like an asshole.  I'll just get used to it, as one gets used to the smell of his or her own farts.  It won't bother anyone; except everyone who isn't me.  Thats the way I like these things.
							Holy shit.  Last night (1 day after writing this page), we went to a buddies house and Brian took his shoes off.  Jesus Christ, we almost died.  Actually, we did die. His feet smell like mine, dog shit and vinegar, except his are 10 times as potent.  He then proceeded to follow standard procedure and rub his feet in everybody's face.  He had his feet ON the faces of Shannon and Kathleen.  To understand how horrible this is, his feet were a yard away from me and I couldn't bare the smell.  I had to run. What causes such foot odor?  Brian.  Brian is one dirty ass motherfucker who showers about once a week.  Brian wears boots.  Brian ties his boots very tight.  Brian has one pair of socks. No, Brian doesn't really have one pair of socks.  We burned those last night.  Brian has no pairs of socks.  I don't think that was a smart move because unsocked feet in boots smell even worse. Now I have something to look forward to.
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