Speech #7 Apply your skills - follow a standard outline form [shown in brackets]
"What did you say?"
"What did you say?" (take earphones off)
[The problem is…]
City life is noisy and stressful. Music reduces stress. William Congreve (1670-1729) said it more poetically, "Music has charms to soothe the savage breast…" (Well some kinds of music do.) Many people will wear a Walkman, but have to play it so loud to drown out background noise that they endanger their hearing and their lives.
[The problem is caused by…]
The National Institute of Health points out that 10 million Americans are suffering from hearing loss induced by exposure to loud sounds. OSHA standards reflect that continued exposure to noise above 85 decibels (approximately the level of a city street), over time, will eventually harm your hearing. Personal stereo systems with headphones produce sounds as loud as 105 or even 120 decibels if turned up to maximum levels. Although subjects interviewed set the systems at safe listening levels in quiet settings, they reported increasing the volume to hazardous levels while riding the subway, exercising or walking to and from work.
Do you remember when you first learned to cross the street? You were told to STOP! LOOK! and LISTEN! That lifesaving audio clue that something is either coming very fast or from an unusual direction risks being drowned out by your music. Plus, the rat-a-tat-tat that others hear, on the wrong side of your headphones could be the spark that ignites some self-medicating psychotic into a fit of rage, with you as the likely target.
[Some solutions are…]
Trying to relieve stress by listening to a personal stereo can make you deaf, an accident victim or crime statistic. What are the alternatives?
You could move away from the city, but this could dent your wallet. I know one person who is now telecommuting from Oregon, but that is the exception rather than the rule. Besides, the Internet not withstanding, it is more exciting to live in or near the city.
You could hire strolling minstrels to serenade you, but this is highly impractical. Even ignoring the cost, travelling with an entourage would slow you down and string and/or electric instruments just don't tolerate rain.
Carrying a boom box or ghetto blaster is impolite, and it still has most of the drawbacks of the Walkman.
[The best solution is…]
My preference is for something that I call "Street Sign Karaoke". One could hum or sing to oneself, but I know I tend to get in a rut, running through the same song over and over again. To prevent that, I turned it into a game. The rules are simple, when you see a word on sign that is in a song you know, start singing that song, anywhere you like, at the beginning, at the start of the verse or line with that word in it. Simple words like "the", "of", or "and" don't count. If you see another word and can use it in another song before you finish the song you started (or forget the next line) you get one point, provided you got to the selected word. You can't use the same song twice in one day. Advertising jingles can be used.
This game puts classical music aficionados and jazz enthusiasts at a bit of disadvantage, but who said life is fair? The point of the game is fun, but if you enjoy it more when your score is higher, here are a few tips:
Choose your route with care. Commercial avenues like Madison or Lexington are far richer in wordy signs than Park Avenue.
Learn more than the just the first line of songs you are likely to use. What comes after, "When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that's amore!"?
If you are between songs and spot a useful word, wait before starting it until you either find the next word for a new song or until you are about to walk past the sign. This will give you the best chance to come up with something else before you run out of words.
Don't just think of the title. The rest of lyrics are packed full of words that might be on a sign right in front of you.
Don't be afraid to try it. People might look at you funny, but its cheaper than a Karaoke bar and better for your hearing and health than using a Walkman. Let me know what your best score is at our next meeting.