Uncle Wayne, Lost in Thought

March 28, 2008-Roy Documentary-Student film-maker, Joshua Kish, has made a seven minute documentary, on Roy McDonald, that was shown, recently, at The Forest City Film Festival. At the end of the video you'll see Uncle Wayne singing with Roy, but you'll hear only Roy, because he's wearing the microphone. checkitout! checkitout! Roy Video!
What music have I been listening to, most recently? An oldie but goodie called The Freewheelin' Bob Dylan. I tend to prefer his earlier stuff.

August 22, 2007-McKittrick's Cam-February Flashback! I check my watch, as Steve Morton (on the right) stands guard, in front of a fine family-run camera store, called McKittrick's. They have the best damn WEBCAM in the Forest City, running twenty-four hours a day and updating every ten seconds. checkitout! checkitout! That's the Main Library, across the street, where the blue-green light is.
What music have I been listening to, most recently? A CD called Keep On The Sunny Side: JUNE CARTER CASH-Her Life In Music, by...

May 19, 2007-Roy-Besides being busy with RL (Real Life), I've been giving a lot of my time and attention to creating and updating and promoting The Official Roy McDonald Website. checkitout! checkitout!
What music have I listening to, most recently? A CD called Roy & Wayne Live At Bean There, by...Roy and Wayne. The Wayne is me, and Roy is the character I've built the aforementioned website for, so checkitoutcheckitout!!

July 12, 2006-Escorts- I've always been intrigued by the concept of the "Escort". Say a fellow comes into town for a short stay. He doesn't know anybody and doesn't have time to cultivate a relationship. So, he hires a classy lady, a companion, to hang on his arm and "escort" him about town...out to dinner, maybe. Or perhaps they'll just stay in and she can entertain him, at his whim. After all, the customer is always right!

I found a library book called Working Sex by Marianne Macy (if I read my scribbles correctly). One section so impressed me that I photocopied it (isn't that illegal?)...brought it home...re-read it. Here's what it said, word for word, in three little paragraphs:

I had money. And I was supposed to write more about escorts. I had a sudden, unshakable thought. I wanted to take the money and buy a man.
Startled, my mind raced on down the street as if a pursesnatcher had taken it. I'd never thought about this before. What would it be like?
What would I do if I called a place and half an hour later had a man standing in front of me? It was amazing to contemplate. He's mine for this hour. I can do whatever I want with him. Pat him like a horse, strip him, touch him, make him touch me. I was lost in my fantasy. It wasn't that it would be better than partner sex. It would be different. I wouldn't have to worry about his feelings or pleasing him. I got to think only about what I wanted.

Wow! Those words really gripped my imagination! My curiosity was on fire! (of course, you understand, I was reversing the genders, as I read Marianne's fevered revery)
Soon, I was riding the rails to Toronto. I had decided to find out, for myself, what escorts were all about! I took a room in a nice hotel, for a week...and, one night, after getting in from the bars (I'm a night owl), I scanned the many ads in the telephone directory and found one that sounded right for me. I dialled the number and told the lady that I would like to hire an escort for an hour. That'll be $230. Okay.
An hour or so later, I got a call from my escort. She was still quite a ways away, driving in from another job.
It must have been at least two hours before I heard a knock on my door. I looked out the peep-hole and I could see that she was a blonde. I opened the door. I couldn't help but notice that she wasn't beautiful. It had occurred to me to tell the dispatcher to send someone beautifull...but, then, I figured that goes without saying. Oh, well, it probably wouldn't have made any difference what I specified. Also, she was a little overweight. Not good.
I remember her first words. Basically, they were "Get your pants off" and "Where's my money?"
You're probably way ahead of me, on this. My high class escort had turned out to be nothing but a common hooker! a (yuck!) prostitute!
I tried to explain to her what I wanted, but she filled me in on how it works. When you tell the dispatcher you want an escort for an hour, you're really saying you want to have sexual intercourse with one of their sleazey hookers (and it probably won't take an hour). If you say half an hour, you're asking for oral sex. (probably everyone in the world already knew all that, but me).
Well, I paid her off and got rid of her, as quickly as I could. I felt good about about having, finally, satisfied my curiosity regarding escorts and all those ads in the yellow pages, but... it's too bad hookers are in the habit of moving in and taking cover behind facades of legitimacy. As just one example, I cite bodyrub parlors giving massage therapy a bad name.

After all the above, I'd really like to know: Are there any real Escorts out there? And, if so, where are you hiding? Contact me, please (just click my E-mail icon, at bottom of this page).

Now, on a totally different note: Don't you wish George Noory would stop saying "You know what?"?

The Blogger: On Sept. 21, last year, I lamented the lack of really interesting blogs out there, you know, to follow on a regular basis. Then, on Nov. 28, I steered you toward my friend Wayne Ray's page. Well, he hasn't been making any entries, lately...and the words he did have, there, have been erased. I've been meaning to ask him about that. BUT, I did find one that I followed for quite a while. It was called The Grass is Always Greener . It was the real life ups and downs of this American woman and her fiance, her friends, her job, etc. Pretty gritty. Believable. Honest. I could identify with it, and sympathize with her. I mean, I was really drawn into her life. Then, on April 23, after I'd not checked up on her for a couple of weeks...I found that, without warning, her blog had up and disappeared! What happened? Was she deleted, for, maybe, too much realism? Did she just give up on it? Did she die?? Well, I miss her...and, now, I'm trying to find a replacement...
I was reading Ryan Pfeiffer's blog , then he took some time off...but, he's posting again, with some really good photographs! Michelle Mann has a new blog, but it's really just a series of current affairs articles... still well worth the reading, though!

My Mood? Kinda dark, overall...like the rainy weather.
What music am I listening to, today? A CD called The Great Pretender, by The Platters...BUT, not the real, original Platters, so this CD is quite appropriately titled! You have to be careful when buying albums by some of these '50s groups, when they split up into sub-groups, each calling themselves by the same name!

July 8, 2006-True North- I just want to take a moment to say that I feel particularly blessed to live in this wonderful country. We are the second largest land mass, the first nation of hockey, and the best part of North America! My name is Wayne, and I Am Canadian!!! (That felt good.)
What music am I listening to, today? A CD called Chimela, by the artist formerly known as Michael Luce, a fellow Forest Citizen. Good stuff!

June 28, 2006-Surveillance- Yesterday, on the news, I heard that my Internet Service Provider, Sympatico, has agreed to let the police monitor Sympatico customers' internet activities...and WITHOUT A WARRANT!
I do not believe in censorship. What moral right does the Police State have to dictate what words or images we may or may not see?
Presumably, the police are concerned with people going to illegal websites. How can a website be illegal?! It's just there! Often, one arrives (sometimes from Google) at an offensive site quite by accident, while looking for something else. Who hasn't had that experience, eh? And, if a website is actually illegal (and how can the average person know that?), what business does the ISP have providing it?! The responsibility rests, not with the hapless surfer, but, with the ones whom we trust to provide us with the service! Instead, we have been grossly betrayed by these very people! I am seriously considering severing all connection with Bell Sympatico! (LET'S ALL DO IT!) Surely, there are more honorable people who can provide us with telephone and internet!
What would constitute an "illegal" website? I have heard that there are terrorist websites that display horrible things. Are they illegal? I don't know. Big Brother has never liked people being interested in sex. If I look at naked ladies, will he come to my door? Or, maybe the concern is with what they call "child pornography". I'm not sure if I've ever seen such a site, and I'm not sure I'd know what the criteria are for that label. And why should I know? As I said before, the responsibility and the blame lie with the Internet Service Provider.
Bell Sympatico and Big Brother are both in my bad books.
Uncle Wayne is pissed off ! And Big Brother is watching YOU !