An Evening With Roy & Wayne

Uncle Wayne, Lost in Thought

March 28, 2008-Roy Documentary-Student film-maker, Joshua Kish, has made a seven minute documentary, on Roy McDonald, that was shown, recently, at The Forest City Film Festival. At the end of the video you'll see Uncle Wayne singing with Roy, but you'll hear only Roy, because he's wearing the microphone. checkitout! checkitout! Roy Video!
What music have I been listening to, most recently? An oldie but goodie called The Freewheelin' Bob Dylan. I tend to prefer his earlier stuff.

August 22, 2007-McKittrick's Cam-February Flashback! I check my watch, as Steve Morton (on the right) stands guard, in front of a fine family-run camera store, called McKittrick's. They have the best damn WEBCAM in the Forest City, running twenty-four hours a day and updating every ten seconds. checkitout! checkitout! That's the Main Library, across the street, where the blue-green light is.
What music have I been listening to, most recently? A CD called Keep On The Sunny Side: JUNE CARTER CASH-Her Life In Music, by...

May 19, 2007-Roy-Besides being busy with RL (Real Life), I've been giving a lot of my time and attention to creating and updating and promoting The Official Roy McDonald Website. checkitout! checkitout!
What music have I listening to, most recently? A CD called Roy & Wayne Live At Bean There, by...Roy and Wayne. The Wayne is me, and Roy is the character I've built the aforementioned website for, so checkitoutcheckitout!!

July 12, 2006-Escorts- I've always been intrigued by the concept of the "Escort". Say a fellow comes into town for a short stay. He doesn't know anybody and doesn't have time to cultivate a relationship. So, he hires a classy lady, a companion, to hang on his arm and "escort" him about town...out to dinner, maybe. Or perhaps they'll just stay in and she can entertain him, at his whim. After all, the customer is always right!

I found a library book called Working Sex by Marianne Macy (if I read my scribbles correctly). One section so impressed me that I photocopied it (isn't that illegal?)...brought it home...re-read it. Here's what it said, word for word, in three little paragraphs:

I had money. And I was supposed to write more about escorts. I had a sudden, unshakable thought. I wanted to take the money and buy a man.
Startled, my mind raced on down the street as if a pursesnatcher had taken it. I'd never thought about this before. What would it be like?
What would I do if I called a place and half an hour later had a man standing in front of me? It was amazing to contemplate. He's mine for this hour. I can do whatever I want with him. Pat him like a horse, strip him, touch him, make him touch me. I was lost in my fantasy. It wasn't that it would be better than partner sex. It would be different. I wouldn't have to worry about his feelings or pleasing him. I got to think only about what I wanted.

Wow! Those words really gripped my imagination! My curiosity was on fire! (of course, you understand, I was reversing the genders, as I read Marianne's fevered revery)
Soon, I was riding the rails to Toronto. I had decided to find out, for myself, what escorts were all about! I took a room in a nice hotel, for a week...and, one night, after getting in from the bars (I'm a night owl), I scanned the many ads in the telephone directory and found one that sounded right for me. I dialled the number and told the lady that I would like to hire an escort for an hour. That'll be $230. Okay.
An hour or so later, I got a call from my escort. She was still quite a ways away, driving in from another job.
It must have been at least two hours before I heard a knock on my door. I looked out the peep-hole and I could see that she was a blonde. I opened the door. I couldn't help but notice that she wasn't beautiful. It had occurred to me to tell the dispatcher to send someone beautifull...but, then, I figured that goes without saying. Oh, well, it probably wouldn't have made any difference what I specified. Also, she was a little overweight. Not good.
I remember her first words. Basically, they were "Get your pants off" and "Where's my money?"
You're probably way ahead of me, on this. My high class escort had turned out to be nothing but a common hooker! a (yuck!) prostitute!
I tried to explain to her what I wanted, but she filled me in on how it works. When you tell the dispatcher you want an escort for an hour, you're really saying you want to have sexual intercourse with one of their sleazey hookers (and it probably won't take an hour). If you say half an hour, you're asking for oral sex. (probably everyone in the world already knew all that, but me).
Well, I paid her off and got rid of her, as quickly as I could. I felt good about about having, finally, satisfied my curiosity regarding escorts and all those ads in the yellow pages, but... it's too bad hookers are in the habit of moving in and taking cover behind facades of legitimacy. As just one example, I cite bodyrub parlors giving massage therapy a bad name.

After all the above, I'd really like to know: Are there any real Escorts out there? And, if so, where are you hiding? Contact me, please (just click my E-mail icon, at bottom of this page).

Now, on a totally different note: Don't you wish George Noory would stop saying "You know what?"?

The Blogger: On Sept. 21, last year, I lamented the lack of really interesting blogs out there, you know, to follow on a regular basis. Then, on Nov. 28, I steered you toward my friend Wayne Ray's page. Well, he hasn't been making any entries, lately...and the words he did have, there, have been erased. I've been meaning to ask him about that. BUT, I did find one that I followed for quite a while. It was called The Grass is Always Greener . It was the real life ups and downs of this American woman and her fiance, her friends, her job, etc. Pretty gritty. Believable. Honest. I could identify with it, and sympathize with her. I mean, I was really drawn into her life. Then, on April 23, after I'd not checked up on her for a couple of weeks...I found that, without warning, her blog had up and disappeared! What happened? Was she deleted, for, maybe, too much realism? Did she just give up on it? Did she die?? Well, I miss her...and, now, I'm trying to find a replacement...
I was reading Ryan Pfeiffer's blog , then he took some time off...but, he's posting again, with some really good photographs! Michelle Mann has a new blog, but it's really just a series of current affairs articles... still well worth the reading, though!

  • Late Post Script! I just now (almost 12:30 AM of July 12) clicked on my Grass link, and she is back!...as of July 7. I haven't even read her "excuse", yet, but I am excited that she's returned. Hmm...she's Canadian...
  • My Mood? Kinda dark, overall...like the rainy weather.
    What music am I listening to, today? A CD called The Great Pretender, by The Platters...BUT, not the real, original Platters, so this CD is quite appropriately titled! You have to be careful when buying albums by some of these '50s groups, when they split up into sub-groups, each calling themselves by the same name!

    July 8, 2006-True North- I just want to take a moment to say that I feel particularly blessed to live in this wonderful country. We are the second largest land mass, the first nation of hockey, and the best part of North America! My name is Wayne, and I Am Canadian!!! (That felt good.)
    What music am I listening to, today? A CD called Chimela, by the artist formerly known as Michael Luce, a fellow Forest Citizen. Good stuff!

    June 28, 2006-Surveillance- Yesterday, on the news, I heard that my Internet Service Provider, Sympatico, has agreed to let the police monitor Sympatico customers' internet activities...and WITHOUT A WARRANT!
    I do not believe in censorship. What moral right does the Police State have to dictate what words or images we may or may not see?
    Presumably, the police are concerned with people going to illegal websites. How can a website be illegal?! It's just there! Often, one arrives (sometimes from Google) at an offensive site quite by accident, while looking for something else. Who hasn't had that experience, eh? And, if a website is actually illegal (and how can the average person know that?), what business does the ISP have providing it?! The responsibility rests, not with the hapless surfer, but, with the ones whom we trust to provide us with the service! Instead, we have been grossly betrayed by these very people! I am seriously considering severing all connection with Bell Sympatico! (LET'S ALL DO IT!) Surely, there are more honorable people who can provide us with telephone and internet!
    What would constitute an "illegal" website? I have heard that there are terrorist websites that display horrible things. Are they illegal? I don't know. Big Brother has never liked people being interested in sex. If I look at naked ladies, will he come to my door? Or, maybe the concern is with what they call "child pornography". I'm not sure if I've ever seen such a site, and I'm not sure I'd know what the criteria are for that label. And why should I know? As I said before, the responsibility and the blame lie with the Internet Service Provider.
    Bell Sympatico and Big Brother are both in my bad books.
    Uncle Wayne is pissed off ! And Big Brother is watching YOU !

    December 29, 2005-HI! -What's with these store clerks who say "hi" or "hello", whenever anyone enters the store? It bugs me.
    This has been going on for quite some time, now, though I'm not sure exactly how long. I do recall an episode of Seinfeld where a bank manager offered to pay cash to anyone who didn't receive a "hello", from a teller.
    I originally disliked the practice because it distracts me from my purpose, when enterring a store, which is to shop! Plenty of time for friendly chit-chat, later.
    Now, I continue to dislike it because it seems so stupid! I, sometimes, deliberately don't respond. I recall one particularly obnoxious clerk, who was standing outside, when he saw me go into his convenience store. He came in behind me and kept repeating "Hi, sir...hi, sir"...untill I guess I finally responded, just to shut him up! They don't like it when you don't answer! Ha!
    The reason I think it's stupid is that I'm guessing someone must have done a study and concluded that acknowledging a customer, right away, does...something, like, maybe, cuts down on shoplifting...or makes people feel welcome, or some damn thing. Now, we have practically every store [do they all read the same newsletter or trade journals?] mindlessly following this irritating practice. That's the way it is, here in The Forest City, and I'm guessing this nonsense is being perpetrated all over North America!
    I've been wanting to ask just one of these idiot clerks WHY they do this, but I've held off, because I thought I'd be labelled a trouble-maker ["Security!"], instead of someone deserving of a straight answer. However, just to provide a concluding comment, on this subject, I think I will actually pop the question, in the near future. I just hope they don't take it too badly!
    Okay, it doesn't always bother me. For instance, the folks at Blockbuster Video are genuinely friendly.
    What music am I listening to, today? A compilation CD called Heart & Soul, by Elvis Presley!

    November 28, 2005-Music I was listening to, earlier: The Best of George Harrison.>.
    Later, I turned on the radio, in time to hear Art Bell, Sunday night host of Coast to Coast am, discussing former Canadian Defence Minister, Paul Hellyer's, comments on our responsibility to not start a war with Extraterrestials! Art's paranoid reaction: What if they shoot first?!!
    Interestingly, the first call he got, on the subject, was from a lady from right here in Forest City! The next caller had a sexy voice, from western Canada; she wondered if, maybe, ETs aren't, already, walking amongst us.
    Actually, I helped Richard Cote write a book, a few years ago, called U.F.O.'s and the Government Conspiracy. More about that at another time. To be continued...

    August 9, 2005-Hmm...I haven't made an entry since January. Actually, I have an issue with the framed advertisements that dominate the right side of each www.geocities webpage. Not only do they mar the look of the page, but they make it impossible to know how many hits I'm getting on each one! All the hits get attributed to one page, whichever one the visitor starts at, because, although you're seeing different content, the address bar doesn't change! For me, that takes the fun out of having a website, because the fun is in getting lots of hits...and knowing where I'm getting them!
    Consequently, I'm pretty much moving my operations North of the border, because Canadian Geocities pages have drop-down advertisements, rather than frames. Eventually, I want to have a local server, either here in Forest City or in Metro.
    Of course, the advertising is amusing, in its own way. Did you see in March? They dedicated the whole space to Cousin Julie! That must have been someone's idea of a joke!
    I don't intend to abandon my U.S. pages, altogether; I'll just be spending more time developing the Canadian site...so, look for me...I'll be lost in thought...

    January 5, 2005-Well, I had a good Christmas (lots of snow, like I predicted) with The Family, in Byron Village. We nourished ourselves on dead bird, one of Forest City's quaint customs.
    I think Cousin Julie is mad at me. It took me only one and a half months to answer her email, so I don't know what her problem is.
    It is really interesting to watch the way these drop-down advertisements (to the right) strive to match page contents. I think I'll play around with it, in future, see what bizarre ads will appear! Ha!
    Okay, here's one. Truth is, I do feel guilty about not responding to Cousin Julie promptly, so: Julie, if you're out there, let's resume communication! Now, how's about a big drop-down ad for Cousin Julie! (surely the bots can see that)

    November 27, 2004-Boy! This HTML can drive ya crazy! I'm getting the hang of it, though...slowly.

    November 12, 2004-Had a long visit with Pete, tonight, and we hashed out some details for finishing up my CD. I said I'd like Sharlene to sing backup on a couple of the songs, because I love her voice. After midnight, on the way home, I ran into the lovely Sharlene, in Cafe One, and, great, she's interested!

    November 11, 2004-Got my flu shot, today.

    November 8, 2004-First snowfall of the season, on the exact same date as last year!Yippee!! Uncle Wayne loves Winter!! For a long time, we were getting our first few flakes on Halloween, and that wasn't very nice, especially for the kids (the costumes get all soggy). We won't get any heavy white stuff, now, 'till December 24th. It almost always arrives in time to give us a White Christmas. I think it's got something to do with mass conciousness. Now, how about the Peace on Earth part?

    November 6, 2004-I'd better get something on this page, before I show it to Eva.

    August 31, 2004 -Just getting started.

    An Evening With Roy & Wayne