HAPPY HARKNESS CHRISTMAS

Welcome!

Over three months have passed at Harkness Hall and it’s time for the Christmas newsletter to let you guys know what we’re all up to here. As the time of Christmas approaches it is an effort for us to look back at the past months and see what we have accomplished. Most of us have done very little, some have traveled a bit, some have skated a lot and some have worked. However, despite that we’d like to take this opportunity to do something productive now and wish you all a very merry Christmas and a happy new year!

Gavin (‘Father Jack Hackett’)

Gav has been an active member of the Harkness community and contributed to everyone’s education with his knowledge of films and film lines and film directors and film actors… Arguably, the greatest success of Gavin’s term has been to lead Fiorentina to world success as their football manager. The worst part of Gavin’s year was Manchester United losing 3-0 at home. Unfortunately, only one of these events was real life (sorry to have to tell you that, Gavin!) Gavin is currently out of action from playing football due to receiving an injury to his toe last week. This gives him plenty of excuses to sit on the sofa, watch movies and keep the Pizza-pocket industry going single handedly!

Jonathan (‘Watt?’)

Jonathan is here taking a degree in ice-skating and has been getting incredibly high marks. He recently got invited to play at the Sky Dome in Toronto. Unfortunately he had to turn this down due to a clash with his latest hobby of drawing wind turbines. He is also doing well at learning French. Without a doubt, Jonathan gets the prize for being the biggest troublemaker and fight-starter of the whole Harkness posse. He is looking forward to the snow coming when he can start snowball fights.

Maryline (‘really?’)

Maryline has been very successful this term in trying new culinary delights. She has found a certain enthusiasm for Marmite and for peanut butter. Maryline’s other hobbies include saying ‘hhhhh’, beating up certain male members of the Harkness crowd and saying ‘I never speak to you again’ to Jonathan on a daily basis. She is also becoming a great ice-skater and really looks forward to every session. Maryline was in tears when the ice-rink was recently closed down to turn the place into an exam hall. She has excelled herself in the work department this term by arriving for a meeting one day late. However, she made up for that by reading the whole of ‘Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets’ without knowing what a wand was! She is the only person still alive to have slapped Gavin and escaped unharmed!

Amanda (‘I’m Canadian – honest!)

This has been a great term for Amanda as she managed to persuade everyone that she was a proper Ontario Canadian until Alex saw through the plot at the end of November. She is hoping to apply for Canadian citizenship in the New Year. Amanda has contributed widely to the vocabulary of the Harkness common room with such words as ‘plether’ and ‘toque’ and has been very good at keeping Jonathan under control in his more wild moments. In her spare time, Amanda likes to count pine needles and read dictionaries.

Gustavo (‘me like cartoons!!’)

Gustavo is Mexican and, as such, spends a vast amount of his time eating and sleeping. His record lie in was until 3 p.m. on a Saturday (but don’t tell his Mama!) This term Gustavo has learnt to skate and has had great success in the kitchen, where he has specialised in making duck shape ginger biscuits and lemon slices. The rest of the time, Gustavo likes to drink tea, read books about engineering and dream about his future as a company executive. Gustavo also decided to get in touch with his feminine side this year and has been reading Marie-Claire and Cosmopolitan enthusiastically.

Clare (‘does the screaming of the lambs bother you at night, Clarice?’)

Clare has had a great term studying physical education here. She has learnt to sail, play squash and ice-skate as well as continuing to swim and jog (on occasion!) In her spare time she has been studying capitalism and cooking. The Harkness Newspaper is pleased to announce that Clare is pregnant. Due to the baby’s laziness about growing, it is thought that the father is Mexican. Gustavo has already promised to be an uncle to the child when it arrives in May. Her most recent brain wave has been to have a ‘blanket party’ using Gavin’s blankets. The aim would be to see how many costumes you could make out of one blanket. Michael has banned refugee costumes but showed enthusiasm for being Rudolph!

Alex (‘I’ve been there/know that’)

Alex is a geologist and thus spends large amounts of time in Tim Horton’s studying the grain structure of the many different types of donuts there. He is famous for creating the Harkness website and refusing to dance at every single French boogie-ing party. This term has seen Alex buy himself a tripod for his camera, a whiteboard to plan talks and a large yellow Bob-the-Builder-esque hat. His sister is still waiting for her birthday present…… Alex’s New Year resolution is to put on some weight from eating three donuts a day and to collect 365 Tim Horton cups.

Michael (‘pool or so?’)

Michael recently had the idea of starting a cake and calorie factory, specialising in porridge with cream, maple syrup, chocolate chips and marshmallows. Despite allegedly coming from Germany, Michael is having serious problems with his German language this year and is a very unreliable source for help and advice on German essays. He has started keeping fit by playing pool 20 times a day and walking around the Harkness corridors to visit Alex. This term has seen Michael learn to wash-up and wipe tables. He is looking forward to learning to cook next term. Michael is as humorous as any German around and loves ‘Father Ted’ passionately. He is also a huge fan of ‘Friends’.

Nicolas (‘You learn me worser.’)

Nicolas’ behaviour has nearly led him several times to be sent to the Kingston psychiatric hospital. It is hoped he will respond to therapy to get over his fondness for strangling and tickling members of the opposite sex. This term has seen Nicolas learn the fine art of hitting a ball very hard against a wall and then running around trying to hit it again. Most people would call this game ‘squash’. With Nicolas, it’s something else!! This term also saw Nicolas dress up as a women in an attempt to find a boyfriend. It is rumoured that there are some potentially embarrasing photos involing Nicolas and a peach soon to be developed. We are still trying to determine who Nicolas’ mystery girlfriend is. Any ideas on a Valentines card to the website editor…

Joseph (‘Monsieur Escargot’)

Jo is from Avignon, where learning to cook is nearly as important as learning to breathe. He started off the term by managing to get everyone to believe that he was quiet, peaceful, calm and trouble-free. Recently (maybe due to the fact that he is brewing his own beer in his bedroom) Jo has gone absolutely hyperactive and can often be seen gazing at the sky at strange hours of the night and cycling around like a maniac. Jo’s main achievement has been to turn the Harkness cooking club into something akin to a British Labour party run organisation than cooking. He is also responsible for ruining, with paperwork taking more time the diets of most people by making thousands of cakes and millions of apple pies. He recently suggested holding a ‘boys night’ where the guys would get in touch with their inner selves, read poetry and eat fruit and salad. This suggestion received an interesting response.

Alexandra (‘Gavina’)

Alex-girl has played an important role in the Harkness common room, despite living about ten minutes walk away. She has introduced us all to the joys of the local food of Rouen and to the feminine form of the male name, Gavin. Particularly fond of this name, she has also christened her handbag ‘Gavina-the-Vache’. Alex-girl is very keen on dressing up for parties and one of the best disguises was as a witch. She is also enthusiastic about trying everything possible and, to this end, went sailing and curling this term. Alex claims to be a French teacher but doubts exist about whether she is old enough to do that. She will give up smoking when the snow falls.

Juliette (‘who-lee-etttt-aaaaaahhhh’)

Juliette has also dressed up as a witch. Juliette will also give up smoking when the snow comes. Juliette also comes from France. Juliette is the second part of the French trinity. She has a particular enthusiasm for anything (and we mean anything!) Russian! And rum….

Violaine (‘Michael – wash up now!’)

Violaine has also dressed up as a witch. Violaine will also give up smoking when the snow comes. Violaine is also French. Violaine is the third part of the French trinity. Violaine continues to fend off Alex-boys advances by saying she will never marry him until she is blind.

Jorge (‘how ye doin’?’)

Jorge is Mexican and, as such, spends a lot of time eating and sleeping. His role model is Joey from ‘Friends’ and he plays the part very well. Jorge has probably the best singing voice this side of Mexico City and has been invited all over to let people enjoy the delights of such songs, as ‘We are the Champions ‘and’ Happy Birthday Clarice’. When he grows up Jorge’s ambition is to have a wife who cooks him hamburgers. In his previous life, Jorge went to military school in the U.S. and the effects of this has shown this year with his unmistakably clear shouting voice and wonderful respect for other people. He feels very strongly on gender issues. For Christmas, Jorge would like a Pepsi machine.

JeanneandMatteo (‘we are one person’)

JeanneandMatteo is a lesser spotted cross between an Italian boy and a French girl. It is usually seen waiting outside Harkness having been unable to get in. It has an amazing British accent and great culinary skills. Recently, a pioneering operation took place to cut JeanneandMatteo in half, which led to Matteo going to watch basketball and Jeanne writing an essay. It was later joined back together again.

Petter (‘karaoke king’)

Petter is Swedish and makes the best fish soup in the whole of Canada. He also has a wonderful singing voice which he uses for karaoke and birthday songs. Similar to Jo, Petter started the term as quiet and well behaved but has recently come out of his shell in order to show the real Petter. He can be spotted from miles off by his red coat. Petter’s term-highlight has been playing the guitar at 3a.m in Aberdeen Street after drinking a lot of orange juice.

Merry Christmas

So, a very merry Christmas from us all and we look forward to writing the Christmas letter again this time next year.

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