episode 9, The School of Hard Knocks
(first the opeaning song starts)
Narrater: Ash and his friends are now somewere in a forest on there way to Vermilion City but there lost at the moment
Misty: so Ash when the hell do you plan to pay for my bike?
Ash: i told you i can pay you whenever you want
Misty: *yelling* how many times do i have to tell you sex doesn't count as a form of payment
Ash: well why the hell not? most other girls accept it as paynent when i owe them money
Misty: i don't believe that for one f***in minute
Ash: oh well it was worth a try say Brock when's the food ready?
Brock: well all i need left is something to start a fire and then cook it
Ash: Pikachu can you give Brock your cigerrete lighter?
Pikachu: pi pikachu (hands Brock a lighter)
Ash: thanks Pikachu, hey what the hell is that light from over there? (the three of them look over to the left to find a kid on a tredmil being asked questions by three other kids)
kid1: who is this pokemon? (holds up a picture of a Pidgey)
kid on tredmil: is it a Zubat?
kid2: look i know it's fogy out here but i doubt that your brain is fogged to
kid on tredmil: ok it's a Pidgey
kid3: good now what level does Pidgey learn sand attack?
kid on tredmil: um i don't know
kid2: we all know that you know this stuff only a dumb-ass wouldn't know about Pidgey now when does Pidgey learn sand attack?
kid on tredmil: fine level 5
kid1: good now who does Pidgey evolve into
Ash: hey leave that kid alone (pulls out a gun and threatens to shoot them)
kid2: he's not kidding around lets run for it (the three kids run off)
Ash: you ok kid?
kid on tredmil: ya i'm ok but there was no need to scare them off like that those guys were my friends they were tutoring me (Brock and Misty catch up)
Misty: Ash whats going on here?
Ash: acording to this kid here they were his friends and trying to tutor him
Brock: gee with friends like those who needs enemies?
kid who was on the tredmil but not anymore: you see i go to a pokemon school for rich kids and japs who can get into the pokemon league without having to earn badges
Ash: well gee thats unfair
kid: yes thats why i'm getting the answers wrong on purpose but it means being in the beginer class but i know the answers to the questions they were asking like that at levil 5 a Pidgey learns how to use sand attack and at level 18 a Pidgey evolves into a Pidgeotto then at level 36 it evolves into a Pidgeot and can kill it's prey with just one swoop
Ash: so wait if you know all that stuff about Pidgey then why the hell were you pretending to be so stupid?
kid: well because the more i get the answers right the harder the questions get
Ash: well who the hell is in charge of this hell hole?
kid (who btw his name is Joe sorry i didn't mention that): heres a picture of her, her names Giselle (takes out a picture a a pretty girl)
Misty: wait if shes so mean to you why do you carry a picture of her?
Joe: well even though shes mean to me shes kinda pretty so i like to look at her picture and pretend shes naked
Ash: i can see what you mean shes hot i alredy want to have sex with her
Brock: not if i get to her first (Misty slaps both Ash and Brock)
Misty: perverts were supposed to hate this bitch for what shes doing not think about having sex with her
Joe: you can't blame them realy i mean just about all the guys want to have sex with her even some of the girls
Ash: wait theres lesbiens there which way to the school?
Joe: that way (Joe points to the far left to a large building)
Ash: thanks
Brock: see ya (Ash and Brock dash over to the school)
Joe: lets go follow them (Joe and Misty follow)
(they all get to were the school is)
Ash: Joe exactly were is Giselle at?
Joe: i think shes in the computer room at the moment
meanwhile is some odd shaped bushes
James: were have i seen that place before
Jessie: let me see (James hands over the binoculers) ahh i can't be
Meouth: what do you know that place?
James: sadly it's the pokemon school of hard knocks we used to go there but then on the test day we were both planing to get high scores on this test but
Both together: we ended up getting the lowest scores in history
Jessie: say i have an idea lets steel all there pokemon inside
James: great idea that will teach them some manners
back inside they find the computer lab were Giselle is
Brock: ohh your so pretty i want to have sex with you will you please take off your cloths for me? (Misty pulls Brock away by the ear)
Misty: common lover boy
Ash: sorry about that
Giselle: oh don't worry about it this kind of stuff happens to me all the time
Ash: so does that mean you will have sex with me?
Giselle: well if you want cutie
Misty: i don't like your attitude
Giselle: tell you what lets have a battle right here and now
Misty: fine by me Starme go
Starme: meeeee (or what ever Starme sounds like i forget)
Giselle: ok then Graveler go
Graveler: graveler graveler
Misty: ha a rock type how stupid can you be
Giselle: wrong even though Graveler is weak agenst water pokemon this one is of such a high level that it overcomes this weakness
Misty: oh yah Starme water gun now (Starme squarts a strong blast of water at Graveler)
Giselle: you know what to do (Graveler curls up into a ball and hits Starme in the head and Starme loses a lot of blood)
Misty: Starme are you ok? (Starme starts to glow then stops)
Giselle: see i told you now Ash is it where were we oh right i was about to show you my boobs
Brock: hey what about me?
Giselle: sorry Brock i'm just not atracted to blacks as much nothing personal
Brock: i see
Misty: Ash you better chalenge her to a battle this instint and beat her
Ash: why the hell should i?
Misty: because Ash if you do i'm thinking about us having oral sex tonight
Ash: well why didn't you say so hey Giselle i challenge you to a battle
Giselle: well ok lets do it out side
Ash: fine by me (they all head out to a basketball court and all the students watch)
Ash: ok Pikachu your up
Pikachu: pika (ok)
Giselle: a Pikachu huh you know a Pikachu is usualy a house pet for girls but i guess once it evolves into a Riachu
Ash: you know i think i changed my mind baout having sex with you Giselle
Giselle: anyway Cubone go
Cubone: cubone bone bone
Ash: Pikachu use thundershock now
Pikachu: pi kaa chuu (Pikachu tries to shock Cubone but Cubone blocks it with the bone in his hand)
Ash: hey thats cheating
Giselle: actually it's not the bone in Cubone's hand is considered to be legal to the pokemon league
Ash: damnet Pikachu use lear to slow him down (Pikachu makes a funny face at Cubone but Cubone just hits Pikachu in the head with his bone so hard that lots of blood comes out from Pikachu's head) aah Pikachu
Giselle: now Cubone use bonemerang (Cubone throws his bone at Pikachu who is on the gronud hurt from that last attack and gets hit hard enough that the ground under Pikachu starts to drip a puddle of blood from Pikachu)
Ash: Pikachu you gotta jump up (Pikachu manages to dodge the bones attack then jumps on Cubones head truning the skull backwards)
Giselle: Cubone watch out (Cubone manages to turn the skull back the right way just in time to get hit by his own bone he then falls down with blood coming out from his head)
oh my god i have never seen something like this a Pikachu wining with something other then with electric attacks
Ash: just don't try to copy it
Jessie: stop right there
Ash, Brock and Misty: it's Team Rocket
James: yes and were here to steal all the pokemon at this school
Giselle: hey i remember the two of you Jessie and James right the two of you got the lowest scores on the final test in school history your an embaressmant to the school now leave (pulls out a gun and starts shooting at them)
student: hey thats not a bad idea (all the students pull out guns and start fireing at Team Rocket)
Jessie: damnet lets run for it
James right behind you
(a bit later)
Joe: Giselle i have made a decision i'm going to start over like how Ash and Pikachu did and earn badges of my own
Giselle: well ok i just hope we see each other some day in the pokemon league
Joe: i promise i will
Giselle: oh and before you leave i would like to show you something so you remember me (Giselle stands up and takes off her clothes)
Joe: ohhh ya
Giselle: joe is that a bonner your having?
Joe: of course not (covers his pants with his hands)
Ash: you see Misty why can't we get along like that?
Misty: mabey because he doesn't owe her a bike and keeps trying to pay for it with sex
Ash: oh by the way Misty don't forget you owe me oral tonight
Misty: I WAS ONLY JOKING (slaps Ash)
Ash: aww (they all head out for Vermilion City)
the end
oh my god i have never seen something like this a Pikachu wining with something other then with electric attacks
