episode 74, Round One! Begin!
(first the opeaning song starts)
Ash's Mom: quiet guys there starting
neighbor from Pallet Town: (drunk) ya whatever i just hope we get to see Ash
Ash's Mom: i know we will damnet he has to be on (everyone sits around the big screen tv that Oak has)
Oak: now now i'm sure Ash will be fine (Ash is seen walking by on the backround of the tv screen)
Ash's Mom: ooh look there he is right now (everyone starts to cheer and get drunk)
over at the stadium
Ash: finaly i found the registeration desk now to register
Brock: ooh ooh pretty registeration girl i wanna have sex with her (runs up right for her redy to grab her butt)
Misty: not today lover boy (grabs him by the ear once again)
Ash: sorry about that anyway i would like to register
Registration girl: ok simply show that you have 8 badges and your pokedex
Ash: uh ok (pulls out the pokedex and shows that he has 8 badges)
Registration girl: ok now i just need to scan your pokedex then you will be redy to enter (opeans the pokedex and scans it then it starts to talk)
Dexter: althou Ash has collected 8 badges i do not suggest leting him battle seing as how he won't last the first round
Ash: shut the hell up dexter
Registration girl: gee your pokedex sure belives you can do it
Ash: ya so uh what do id do next, when do i get to kick some ass?
Brock: (still love struck) ooh thats easy you start by battling through 4 special fields using 3 pokemon those fields being reck, water, ice and grass then once you get through these ones you get to battle a normal field with 3 pokemon then after that the rest uses all 6 pokemon am i right sexy?
Registration girl: uuh yeah thats right *thinking* pervert *end thinking* so all i need you to do is press this button which will stop at the field you battle on
Ash: uh ok (the 4 fields appear on a small screen and a light starts moving from field to field then ash pushes the button and it slows down then stops on the picture of water)
Registration girl: well then that means you will be battling on the water field now the computer will choose your opponent (the computer starts quickly showing random pictures of trainers then stops at a long haired guy named Mandy) your opponent will be Mandy
Ash: well ok then i guess he's the first one to get his ass kicked by me (then then head out)
outside Team Rocket has descised as news reporters in attempt to ask trainers which pokemon they have and steal the good ones
Jessie: so which pokemon are you using?
Trainer: well i'm using Dodrio, Venomoth and Raticate
Jessie: great a radioactive bug a three heads no brains bird and an oversized rat get lost kid you'll lose the first round
Trainer: hey what the hell do you know (walks away mad)
James: we'll never find any strong trainers (they then see a crowd of people around Mandy who is performing tricks)
Jessie: ooh lets try to steal his pokemon (they go up to Mandy) and who might a talented trainer like you be?
Mandy: i can't believe you have never herd of me the names Mandy and who the hell are you?
Jessie: were news reporters here to ask trainers what pokemon there using
Mandy: wait which news channel is this for?
James: oh uh were news reporters at 4kids tv
Mandy: then i'm sorry but i will not tell you anything
Jessie: why the hell not?
Mandy: because i'll only be interviewed by companies that do a good job and won't censor what i say or do
Jessie: what how dare you
Mandy: in fact you guys shouldn't be here how do we know your not going to censor the battles?
James: we are going to
Mandy: THEN GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE RIGHT NOW YOUR KIND IS NOT WELCOMED HERE right guys? (talking to the croud)
Random people: yeah you suck/burn in hell/death to 4kids (they all lift them and toss them out)
Jessie: ooh let me at that bastard let me at him
James: Jessie: calm down (James and Meouth hold onto her and walk off screen)
inside a pokemon center lunch room
Misty: you know Ash you can borrow some of my pokemon if you want
Ash: thanks but no thanks i don't need to borrow yours
Misty: well then what the hell do you plan on using for the water field?
Ash: i'll count on Squirtle to get me through
Misty: and what if Squirtle is knocked out?
Ash: good question (Ashs pokedex starts to buzz) what do you want Dextor?
Dextor: Proffessor Oak would like to talk to you dumbass (yes pokedexes can act as beppers)
Ash: oh thanks (goes over to the video phone and calls Oak)
Oak: oh hello Ash
Ash: oh hey Proffessor (Ash's mom bumps Oak over)
Ash's mom: hi sweetie were all watching you on tv are you being a good boy?
Ash: yes mom
Ash's mom: ok glad to know that
Ash: hey uh do you think you can put Oak back on?
Ash's mom: oh right my bad (puts Oak back on)
Oak: anyway i was hoping to ask which pokemon you plan to use for your first round? (from on the screen Ash's Krabby appears)
Ash: hey i know i'll use krabby to fight
Oak: well ok then just send one of you pokemon and i will send him over (Ash puts a pokeball in the transfer machine and it dissappears and another one with Krabby reappears) well looks like it's time for your battle
Ash: right (hangs up then heads over to the water field)
Judge (still from the battle before Ash's): ooh and it looks like Tentacruel is hitting Seaking hard with that poison sting (shows a Tentacruel shooting small poison stings at Seaking and making Seaking bleed all over the place)
Trainer (with the Seaking): damnet Seaking quick use horn attack
Seaking: sea king (Seaking charges at Tentacruel with light speed hitting him with his horn and stabing Tentacruel right in the belly causing blood to go flying)
Judge: and Tentacruel is unable to battle... (continues to talk simply saying that the trainer with the Seaking won) and next up from Pallet Town Ass Ketchum
Ash: hey thats Ash Ketchum
Judge: oops sorry anyway one of the leagues favorite is Mandy (the audence start to cheer and the drunken guys start to go crazy as well as from Oaks house the neighbors and Ash's mom)
Ash: ok now to start
suddenly over the loud speakers
Jessie: calling the twerp calling the twerp do you hear us?
Ash: what the hell do you bastards want?
Jessie: we are telling you that you better kick that douche bag Mandy's ass (from behind Team Rocket the Officer Jennies surround them)
Jenny: alright your comming with us common (pulls them away)
Anouncer: anyways sorry about that interuption now lets get the match started)
Ash: *thinking* i wonder if first time luck is on my side *end thinking* Krabby go
Krabby: kooke kooke
Misty (from the sidlings): Ash what the hell do you think your doing? (both Brock and Misty are on the bench behind Ash to help him through and cheer him on as well as hold onto Pikachu until he is needed and make sure he dosen't get too high)
Ash: relax Misty i know what i'm doing
Misty: if Krabby defeats even one opponents pokemon i will do oral
Ash: ooh ok Krabby you gotta win this
Krabby: kooke kooke
Mandy: Exeggutor go
Exeggutor: exeggutor
Mandy: Exeggutor Psywave attack
Exeggutor: exeggutor (Exeggutor sends out a sends purple waves at Krabby)
Ash: Krabby dive under water (Krabby does so and avoids the attack completly)
Mandy: Exeggutor use Psychic to make a whirlpool in the water
Exeggutor: exeggutor (Exeggutor's eyes glow then a whirlpool forms trapping Krabby inside)
Misty: see Ash i told you oh well i guess no oral for you
Ash: damnet i can't let Krabby be trapped in there Krabby return (tries to return Krabby to the pokeball but the whirlpool blocks him out) crap (suddenly the whirl pool fades away and Krabby comes out ok) aww kick ass Krabby ha Misty the deals still on
Misty: sh*t
Ash: now Krabby use Vicegrip on Exeggutor
Krabby: kooke kooke (Krabby pinches Exeggutor right in the head making Exeggutor draw blood from his head Krabby then starts to glow)
Ash: what?
Misty: Ash Krabby's evolving
Ash: you know i did win right?
Misty: tell ya what double or nothing if Krabby or about to become a Kingular wins the next one i'll let you tounge me
Ash: but i tounge you every night after you fall asleap
Misty: WHAT
Ash: oops did i say that out loud? never mind deal
Misty: *thinking* that explains why i allways have those dreams were Ash is having sex with me *end thinking* (Krabby stops evolving and is now a Kingular)
Kingular: (with a slighty deeper voice then Krabby's) kooke kooke
Ash: ohh yeah beat that Mandy
Mandy: damn Exeggutor return Seadra go
Seadra: seadra
Ash: a Seadra ok Kingular use bubble
Kingular: kooke kooke (shoots out bubles aimed for Seadra)
Mandy: Seadra use Agility (Seadra dodges the bubbles and runs around in circles of Kingular who keeps shooting the bubbles)
Ash: damnet... huh (sees that those bubbles end up causing Seadra to be forced up in the air by the bubbles then starts to fall) ha ha ok Kingular while he's in the air use Crabhammer attack
Kingular: kooke kooke (Kingular hits Seadra with his pincher so hard it knocks Seadra onto one of the floats and blood is dripping from under Seadra's body)
Ash: wow Kingular your pimpin and Misty i bet you that Kingular will also win the next one as well
Misty: what more can you do to me? i alredy have to give you head and let you tounge me what more can be done?
Ash: me grabbinmg your boobs!
Misty: fine
Ash: yes, hey Mandy send out your next pussy pokemon
Mandy: grr burn in hell Ash Seadra return, Golbat go
Golbat: golbat golbat
Brock: Ash Kingular is weak agenst flying types swich him with Pikachu
Ash: hell no Kingular is on a role here and if i do all bets are off with Misty and then she won't have to give me oral so no
Misty: ya i aggree with Brock you'll get Kingular killed if he fight that Golbat
Ash: we'll see Kingular Vicegrip attack
Kingular: kooke kooke
Mandy: Golbat you know what to do
Golbat: golbat (Kingular tries to squeeze Golbat but Golbat manages to slip away from Kingulars grip)
Ash: damnet
Misty: Ash you gotta swich to Pikachu
Ash: you just don't want to put it in your mouth again so no, Kingular jump in the water (Kingular does so)
Mandy: ok Golbat use take down
Golbat: gol (swoops down at Kingular)
Ash: ok now use Vicegrip again
Kingular: kooke kooke (arises from the water and grabs Golbat once again but Golbat slips out of grip)
Mandy: now Golbat Raizor Wind
Golbat: golbat golbat (starts to flap his wing so hard the wind forms into a blade like object and hits Kingular so hrad blood comes gashing out)
Mandy: now Golbat Mega Drain
Golbat: golbat golbat (his eyes start to glow a bright green glow and a green ball appears in front of Golbat getting redy to absorb Kingulars energy)
Misty: Ash if Golbat uses Mega Drain he will suck out Kingulars life force swich with Pikachu now
Ash: no way Kingular use Hyper Beam now
Kingular: koooookeeeeeee (Kingular unleashes a huge yellow beam right at Golbat right before he was aboul to unleash his attack and it hits Golbat straight on and Golbat falls down onto the float with blood all over the place)
Ash: oh my god we won we won (Ash goes onto the stadium and hugs Kingular)
Judge:Golbat is unable to battle Ash is the winner and with just using one pokemon
Mandy: Golbat return, mother f***ing, ass raping... (walks out continuing to swear)
at Oaks
Ash's mom: ohh yay Ash one thats showing him Ash
other neighbors that were watching: horrah (they all tip their beer jugs)
back in the stadium
Brock: acording to the book wjen the trainer wins they should show dignity and restraint (looks at Ash who is now drunk and being loud and foolish twords the camera)
Ash: woo hoo hey mom i hope your recording this (takes another sip of beer) yeah i won i won
TV camery man: uh mr. Ketchem how do you feel about wining?
Ash: what the hell dou mean how do i feel? i just kicked that guys ass he didn't even put up a fight total wimp (Ash continues to act up on screen and Ash's mom is recording every second of it while having sex with the men who are drunk and getting it on)
Brock: it's too late
Ash: and Misty don't think i havent forgotten about you yet