| My pals have been makeing my life... Diffrent. I cant controll what is going on. Iv been getting yelled at for the past few days with "All you care about is DDR!" Or "All you care about is Touya!" Its makeing me cry. My mother is sitting here so I have to hold the tears.
I truely hate it... The say "The team is sopposed to be fun".. It IS! Even people that SUCK are on it! I just want a group of my friends in on something. Now Ill talk about one of my closest pals, Someone I can ALMOST call a friend... ALMOST.. Little things like whats happening to me now is what messes it up. She dosnt understand that yelling at me like this makes me even worce. I cant even stand to look at myself in the mirror. She says "I like the old Undefined better... The one that stole my food and made us late to band to make us watch anime." You know the funny part... Band is over, She dosnt have TIME to hang out with ME. And I somehow get the beating. It makes me sad. It truely dose. It makes me want to space out even more from the word than I already am. Things are clearing up with me and (I'll call her....) Lita. Lita is one of the people I respect. SHe isnt a friend. But she is one of the most respected people I talk to. I ask her advise on everything. Gah, my life is messed up. I hafta help Skuld with her problems, I hafta be seirous on my team, I have to finish learning Japanese, Me and Touya are... akward at the moment... Yeah... ANyways, I got people that soport me so Im not going to take this so seriously. I hate it when people tourcher me like this... I just hate it... Me and Skuld were talking and she said "Im trying to make you unshy" ANd I Said "I dont wanna be unshy, I just want everyone to leave me alone..." So she goes "Sorry..." So yeah, Im still staying silent as possible. I do have my certain people I talk to. For example. Aya, He has the same problem I have, but more to the extreme. Friday he came to pick up Touya and I was sitting on the garbage can watching people. Some guy started talking and talking and talking to him. He hates it when people talk to him. SO I got up, walked over to him, and spoke, forceing the other guy to shut up. I don't know If I made Aya feel better, But at least I tried, I know how it feels to not want someone I dont know or dont like to talk to me... I respect Aya... I love to look at his drawings, he inspires me to draw more often, and also, when he speaks I am always wanting to hear what he says... Anywho, SO my readers are Killua, Aya and Lita at the moment. I guess they are people that I trust... ^_^! I just want to say thank you to all of them for actully careing... WEll, lately Iv been takeing out my emotions by playing DDR, drawing and studying my japanese... It works well... OHHHH GAHAHAH! For you DDR fans. I played Paranoia Survivor today! AGHAHAHA Almost got half way! w00t! Eash... Anyways, So all the people are wondering, "Why do you make DDR/Team Statix your main priority?" Well! Just for notice I am the captain! I take pride in it! I needa stay strong for them! I know that half the members dont care, and that DOSE hurt me! I Really am trying! So everyone that wants to say anything, Im willing to screw my life over. Even if everyone quits the team. I WILL WEAR THE SHIRT! Ill go by myself as Team Statix... Im pretty sure Skuld, Sanosuke and Killua wont quit... But im just saying... Gah... Anyways, Im keeping this short.. I'll finish this with one of my reacurring dreams... I wake up... Looking around... Just like I would normal for school in my real life. I feel somewhat diffrent... I have a weird phsycotic memories running through my head, of people chargine at me with blue helmets attached to their heds, some already with bullet holes in them... Hand-me-downs I presume... But all I do is wake up.. Looking around... IN a tent... "You awaken... Shylum.." Yes, a familiar name indeed... I sit up..., "Shylum... You went through some trouble.." "Wha..." I said still confussed. "Look at yourself.!" The person... blurry feminen figure at the moment handed me a mirror. I look in it... A man... Not a boy.. a man with long black hair... black eyes and wearing a blue soldier outfit... It can only be used I guessed for there were blood markings. "Where...?" I started. "Oh Shylum... Im glad your okay... That gun wound to your chest was horrible..." She said. I looked down at my chest and noticed the blood was my own... "My god..." I said rubbing my face. "Shylum... I-" SHe started but got cut off by a tall man entering the tent. "Well..." The man said in an acent. Japanese... Had to be Japanese... "Oh my-" The woman started, at the the man charged at her, he didnt have a gun.. he used a blade...a dark blade. I couldnt think, I think I loved this woman... I wasnt sure, So I jumped up and pushed the guy back sending the blad into my arm. The man just laughed... laughed chaoticly. "Baka na... Stupid boy... Poisoned sword.. for a WOMAN!" He said in his accent, also adding a few Japanese words at the end. "Shylum....I.. I..." She said. "This is great... HAHAHA" At that the Japanese man walked out. "Sarah..." I managed to let out.... Before... I once again woke up. Interesting dream, Ne??? Well you think about that for a while. I had this dream once again for the at least 3rd time last night! Gahaha, Tell me what you think... Ja, Undefined |