It all began for “Becks” when rumors were sprouting that he had cheated on his wife, “Posh Spice” Beckham, thus taking the lyrics “if you want to be my lover, you got to get with my friends” to a much different level. The woman in question was Rebecca Loos, Beckham’s personal assistant. And, as we’d soon find out, she was a “Loos cannon.” What a pun! Loos did a television interview, and the allegations were all over British news. As Beckham denied the ordeal, Loos did not want to get her face out of the news and the money in her pockets, and threatened to reveal that she could identify a certain mark on a certain part of Beckham’s body. My guess is it was a wart on his ankle. Hey, come on, it’s possible! That could threaten his career! How’s he going to “bend it like Beckham” with a wart on his ankle?!

As his marriage was up in arms, Beckham’s life on the pitch was not getting any better. The English sports media questioned his leadership abilities, and England took a tumble in the early goings of the 2004 European Championships (surrendering two goals in stoppage time to France) before progressing to a quarterfinal match with Portugal. After an exciting 90 minutes that saw the game nodded at 1-1, and then extra time that saw Portugal jump out to a 2-1 lead before an equalizer response by England minutes later, the game was headed to penalty kicks. Beckham was first up for England, and with the spotlight on him, Beckham completely shanked the ball well over Portugal’s goal. That, coupled with a Darius Vassell miss, sunk England, 6-5, and Portugal moved on. Afterward, Beckham got the brunt of the disapproval from the media, and certainly the fans. To add insult to injury, the ball Beckham shanked into the crowd sold well on eBay, a clear sign that people love to profit off other’s misery! As troubles with England mounted, Beckham had to handle rumors that soccer juggernauts Real Madrid were prepared to sell him back to an English club.

But, as the year wound down, Beckham managed to sow up all the negativity. Like Kobe Bryant, he bought his wife a ring worth millions, which just goes to show you trust and love will not save you out of infidelity in a celebrity marriage, but expensive, materialistic desires will. Beautiful! Now I understand why so many people want to be rich and famous! With his marriage seemingly better, the Beckhams expecting a third child, and Becks still with Real Madrid, it seems that England’s #7 will only have to handle looking at his supposedly stunning face in the mirror. A face that, in most English soccer fans’ minds, is of an overrated player. Hey, he’s no Zinedine Zidane, but David Beckham has found a place in THE HALL OF CRAP SANDWICH!