Doc Latham- (Abort This!) The good doctor has received numerous AMA awards for his care for pro-choice ideals and Italian cuisine. He attended the same medical school as Dr. Nick Riviera of "Simpsons" fame.
Nick Park- (The Moral Compass) Park, who, lucky for him, has the same name as a Claymation genius (which allows him to easily get into trendy dance clubs), excels in analysis of child psychology, conformity, and fascism. (hmm, we should watch out...TFP might try to snag him away from us.)
Ravi Shankar- (The New Cleveland Indians) Lucky enough to have the same name as the sitar virtuoso (which allows him to get into five-star restaurants), Shankar's work and expertise in Civil Rights earned him the 2001 Raj Miuseppesiripongacal Peace Award.
Pete Exit- (The Real Truth Behind the Levy) Exit earned his Ph.D in both Finance and Education from the University of Bubba, but doesn't like to brag about it. Exit also earned a Masters degree in recitation of both Shakespeare and movie quotes.
Man's Lady- (The Man's Lady) Feminism at its finest.
Jake Jarmell- (The Shocking! Interviews) Jarmell was once a writer, but he landed a job as a professional interviewer for the U.N. due to his fame on Seinfeld for not putting an exclamation mark at the end of a phone message.
Chikan- (The Dirty Old Man comic) A skilled cartoonist who draws only Japanese girls. You want Mongolian girls? No. You want Swedish girls? No. You want man in suit eating carrot while jumping on a pogo stick? No. ONLY JAPANESE GIRLS!
Gene Shalit's Afro- (Coming Soon?) As the great haircut of one of the finest film critics in America, this inanimate object film critic covers one of the great minds of the movies. Heck, it's better looking than Marv Albert's toupee! That's 11 Thumbs Up!
The Editor- Someone earning money for doing nothing. E-mail this individual a question or comment at unincompoop@yahoo.com If you do, your question/comment will be published on the site.