As the band Limp Bizkit began to grow in popularity, so did Durst. They first hit it big by covering George Michael’s terrible song, “Faith,” and making it into an even bigger piece of shit. Yeah, let’s make the difference in song be that I yell “faith” really loud! Yeah, that’s awesome! And, for some reason, people thought it was. They then went on to hit it even bigger with “Nookie.” You know that song: “I did it all for the nookie, so you can take that cookie, and stick it up your…yeah!” Yeah, that’s really clever. Rhyming nookie and cookie…I never would have thought of that one. Limp Bizkit continued their trend of unbelievably annoying and crappy songs with “Break Shit” (edited to “Break Stuff”), “My Generation,” and “Rollin’.” While Limp Bizkit rolled up the charts, Durst’s mouth kept getting louder and louder. He vocally continued his feud with Nine Inch Nails’ Trent Reznor, and started one as well with Creed’s Scott Stapp, who is annoying, too, but still. Then, there was the whole question of whether he was with Christina Aguilera or not and who really gave a shit anyway. Eminem wanted to sit next to Carson Daly and Fred Durst and hear them argue over who she gave head to first. Actually, I think Carson gave Fred head first, and still does as you’ll read on about. Nonetheless, Limp Bizkit controlled the rock/rap genre along with Korn perhaps, and then something great happened: the rock/rap genre died quickly and horrendously.

We all thought that was it with Fred Durst, but then he found a way to annoy us some more: through Britney Spears. Yes, now it was a huge thing that Fred might be with Britney, and once again we wondered who really gave a shit anyway. I turned on the news and there was all this talk about Fred and Britney, and I wondered to myself, “Fred Durst is still popular?” Anyway, Fred said it happened, Britney said it didn’t, and then he went on The Howard Stern Show and told some details about her nether regions like the sick bastard he and many others are. Then, one night I was watching Carson Daly’s NBC show, and Carson asked Angelina Jolie about Fred Durst writing on his web site about wanting to pursue Angelina. I have several problems with this question. First off, who the hell goes to Fred Durst’s web site? (who the hell even comes to this web site?) Next, why is Carson still living in 1999 when this guy and his crappy music were still popular? Now, why is everything this guy says such a big deal? Why do we have to be subjected to hearing about it, seeing it, or reading about it? And, finally, why the hell was I watching Carson Daly’s show?

Oh well. It seems that Limp Bizkit has thrown out a new album as of late, but they, and particularly Durst should realize the 15 minutes are up. Even though Fred will continue on to typing on his web site, and trying to get in the news, his 15 minutes will stand here in THE HALL OF CRAP SANDWICH, because, hey, 6 years of annoying us this much has been equivalent to a life’s work of doing it. Congratulations, Freddy!