Let’s start at the beginning. Gore wins the election after it was found that Katherine Harris voted 5,000 times. At his celebration party, Gore thanks the crowd, then begins to do the Macarena, but is pointed out by vice president Joe Lieberman that that is so 1996. Gore nods, then proceeds to do the robot for the excited crowd. Or, perhaps that was just his normal movement.

Gore presents his strong liberal agenda, and wars with the Republican majority Congress over the issues. Nothing much gets done, and suddenly the American people are questioning the validity of Gore’s lockbox.

September 11 occurs. The nation mourns the most tragic event on U.S. soil and patriotism soars. Airport security is heightened, and white people are pulled out of lines and forced to take off their shoes simply because they do not fit the profiles of Al-Qaeda members, and thus, are even more suspicious.

Swift action is taken. Bombs are dropped in Afghanistan. Afghanistan is destroyed to shreds, and Al-Qaeda’s system is on the rocks. Soon, Al-Qaeda leader Osama bin Laden is found dead with a can of Campbell’s Chunky Soup by his side. Sales of Campbell’s soup skyrocket under the slogan, “If it killed Osama, it has to be good.”

The economy is booming. People can’t stop buying and buying and buying. Secretary of Treasury Rob Reiner and Alan Greenspan rejoice. The Dow jumps to over 20,000. Every stock is trading well, except for Abercrombie & Fitch (caught in a fiasco over senior citizen thong underwear), and Gore’s America looks like a bright one.

The debate over a constitutional amendment banning gay marriages comes up. Gore chooses to invoke “Gay Day” to celebrate the diversity of sexual orientation within the nation and opens the White House to people of all types to join in on the celebrations. A giant orgy ensues.

The idea of a war in Iraq never exists. Saddam Hussein still stays in power, and is known to chit-chat with his advisors about the American president, who he terms as “Mr. Roboto.” “Mr. Roboto is a fine president,” Hussein says. “He only bombs us on a weekly basis. It’s not so bad.” When asked about a possible connection between him and bin Laden, Saddam says, “Osama bin Laden? More like Osama bin dead’n! Hahaha! See? Even Saddam pulls a funny every once in a while!”