Jay-Z
2002 Inductee
Jay-Z was back in form with The Blueprint II in 2002. Too bad his form has always been shit anyway. Yet, in 2002, we had to be exposed to both his annoying song and video for “03 Bonnie and Clyde” with the very hot (yet also psychotic apparently) Beyonce Knowles (psychotic because she’s apparently romantically involved with this waste of space). The song was just a badly done rip-off of a good Tupac song. Then, to add to that, the video really made no sense. “All I need in this life of sin is me and my girlfriend.” So, I’m going to take my girlfriend across the border in my awesome car as we steal money and flee from cops. And, then, oooh, the cops think they’ve surrounded our car, but, alas, it’s just 2 Mexicans (who are later arrested for illegal immigration)! Ahh, yes, very Bonnie and Clyde-ish.

It’s clear that all those remarks Nas said about you are true, Jay-Z. Can’t you just bow out now and enjoy a retirement surely filled with marijuana and hard liquor? Just hearing your voice sickens me…but perhaps not as much as one of our other inductees in 2002.

So, to you, Jay-Z, H to the Izzo, A to the Izaal, and a Crap Sandwich straight up your ass!

I'm trying to look intimidating, but instead I feel quite bloated.