The Real Truth Behind the Levy by Pete Exit
		Readers, I will ask you now to disregard everything else you have heard about the levy at this point, because it’s all hooey. The simple truth of the matter lies in an unmistakable menace which has plagued our school for ages (actually only 2 years): the hall monitors. No, I’m not talking about the comical watchers of other schools’ passageways, like the famous “Robo-Screech: Hall Monitor of the Future” from "Saved by the Bell." Oh, no, I’m referring to the devilish people which sit behind desks and write stuff down on papers. Well, that doesn’t sound too bad, Pete, you say. But I’m afraid they do much more. Now, in the tradition of NOHS underground periodicals, the following is based on things I simply made up, because hey, who ever heard of “sources” anyway, man? As I was saying, those evil sentinels lurking in our halls are directly responsible for the recent failure of the levy. After all, everyone knows that hall monitors feed off the awful, awful suffering of the beleaguered students of NOHS. The nerve of them, stopping us for a minute or two to fill a line out on a paper. Really! Ensuring the failure of the levy we so direly need is simply another way for them to thrive on our discontent. Now, how exactly did they carry it off, do you say? Well, uh, I don’t really know, but, well, I think its pretty clear that it was them, based on all concrete facts that I have presented in this article. I mean, come on! Robo-Screech! How much more plain and simple can it be?! Why did it take so long for someone to point out this seemingly obvious connection? It must be because no other underground newspaper has tackled the subject of hall monitors. Oh, wait, they have. Multiple times. In that case, just keep in mind that you first heard about this levy conspiracy here, from The Underground Nincompoop.
			In the original newspaper publication of "The Real Truth Behind the Levy," a picture of Robo-Screech is featured, however, due to discrepancies with the upload of certain types of picture files on GeoCities, that certain picture is not included in the article on this web site.