The Moral Compass
by Nick Park
“Some stank be gangin’ up on our schizool’s grill.” Thus were the words of Bobby Farrington IV, age 14. Of freshman status, he is not yet developed in the expertise of grazing the school for survival in a world of fascists. Assumptions can be made that high school has corrupted this youngster’s vocal ability now that he only speaks Italian. The attempt to “weave” his way into the culture of our youth should be an example for the restivus. ANTI-CONFORMITY BABY!!!! I know as much about being cool as the next guy. Or do I? Studies have shown that people like you more if you are cool. There is no machete or blunderbuss that can prove that, but I am NOT going to let that bother me.

And now we shall revert back to Bryan Farrington. Him, who was once an offspring of a wealthy Businessman, has now degraded himself to smoking in the boy’s restroom. Bad Bobby. He, who once had an indisputably blue-blood bred British (BBBB) accent, now speaks Italian. His friends now have dubbed Bobby a b-boy, and his “DJ” name is “DJ Scrizzel my Yizell Bizell.” What next? He called a teacher a fascist claiming, “If you call a teacher a fascist, they will most likely act a pool.”

For entertainment purposes, he sometimes would start break dancing with his home piece that Bobby calls Gangsta E. Lee. Every Friday night they go to totally awesome Dance.com and strut their stuff like mofo’s.

What is the world coming to when Farrington can become a “DJ Scrizell my Yizell Bizell????” Why, I will tell you of course. It is fascism, conformity, and “Useless Traditions.”

A white guy.