Jarmell: It’s such a pleasure to sit down and talk with you, Balki!
Pinchot: My name’s not Balki, it’s Bronson.
JJ: Ah, yes. I’m sorry. It’s just a slip of the tongue. I’m so used to seeing you as that lovely Myposian sheep herder.
BP: Yeah, you’re not the only one. It’s been rough. For a long time, any person would see me and yell “Balki! Balki!” They thought I really was Balki.
JJ: Much like Urkel’s situation I’m sure?
BP: Yes, and ironically, Family Matters was a spin-off of our show. But, if the Balki situation wasn’t enough, it got worse. I took a role in the Beverly Hills Cop films as some gay art gallery guy. So, suddenly, I was on the street either being asked to do the Balki voice or the gay voice or both at the same time! People on the street thought I could be a gay Balki.
JJ: That’s crazy. But it shows your amazing ability as a character actor. Speaking of your ability, you went on to play a French guy on Step by Step and an alien who looked like a human in the short-lived Meego.May I ask why you picked those roles?
BP: I don’t know. I wanted work, and in both cases, the production companies were desperate. Step by Step’s ratings were dropping like flies, and Meego just needed a respectable actor for a role that consisted of poor writing and a terrible premise. They were trying to bank off the name Bronson Pinchot, and it just did not work out.
JJ: And we all know when we think of the most famous celebrities, Bronson Pinchot comes to mind! Now, let’s discuss Perfect Strangers, which was the key to your success. How was it on the set?
BP: Well, Mark-Linn Baker and myself got along real well. It was a real fun show to do. The writing tailed off in the end.
JJ: Yeah, I mean just look at some of the plot synopses of these episodes. Balki picks which team will win football games based on the animals’ ferociousness. Larry and Balki’s wives both give birth simultaneously on a hot air balloon. And, a special 2-part episode in which someone kidnaps Balki’s stuffed animal puppet that means so much to him? It’s crazy. It seems like the writers though the latter was equivalent to “Who Shot J.R.?” or something.
BP: Yeah, like I said, it got bad in the end, but it was entertainment. People were watching and enjoying, and that’s all that mattered to me.
JJ: Some people speculate that Larry and Balki secretly were a gay couple.
BP: (in his Balki accent) Of course not, don’t be ri-deck-ulous! A lot of people say a lot of dumb things. Larry and Balki were related, so it’s strange to comprehend that possibility. People said that Bert and Ernie on Sesame Street are gay, too, but that’s a ridiculous concept as well.
JJ: Yeah, of course. I mean, to my knowledge, muppets don’t have sex with each other. As a fan of the show, I always had a dream that you, Larry, and your two flight attendant girlfriends would have mad orgies in your Chicago apartment. Is that possible?
BP: I suppose it’s possible. Anything was possible with the type of episodes that were being written for the show. I really feel bad because the producers and writers didn’t learn from their mistake. The same thing happened with Family Matters years later. It went from being a family show, to a mix of a family show with the comedy of a well-known character in Steve Urkel to just completely turning into The Steve Urkel/Stephan Urquelle show.
JJ: And, thus, the downfall of the show. How did you like ending your run as part of ABC’s TGIF line-up?
BP: It was great. TGIF was a great concept that unfortunately faded away. It had quality programs for families, and I was proud to have the show be a part of it. Seven years on the air. It was amazing. I didn’t think the viewers would be so accepting of such a weird concept to a show.
JJ: Speaking of the concept, what kind of mindset did you have to get into to play a character from Mypos?
BP: Well, Mypos is a fictional, Mediterranean island, so it was just throwing in a strange kind of Greek-ish accent that would be both foreign, yet cute. Sometimes Mark-Linn and I would go out and I would actually use the accent and pick up hotter chicks in a bar than Mark-Linn could imagine. See, Balki had a type of sexiness to him that Larry Appleton could only dream of.
JJ: You mean to tell me that the island of Mypos really doesn’t exist?
BP: Yeah.
JJ: (in my best Balki accent) Of course it does, don’t be ridiculous! So would you be willing to come with me on a vacation to Mypos?
BP: Hey, if you can find a ticket, I’m there.
JJ: Excellent! Now, are you and Mark-Linn still in contact? Do you go watch Cubs games together or try and walk in the gusty winds of Chicago as seen in the theme song intro to the show?
BP: Well, yeah, Mark-Linn and I do get together on occasion. We both don’t live in the Windy City, so we don’t do things like just on the show, but we meet up.
JJ: Smoke weed?
BP: Sure, back in the day. Sometimes we were both high when we did episodes of Perfect Strangers. As established before, the writers always seemed to be high.
JJ: Unbelievable. One of the great 1980s sitcoms composed of a bunch of drug users.
BP: Well, we weren’t addicted, but it was something everyone was doing in the 1980s.
JJ: So, I suppose if the Hollywood community beat a person to death every month, everyone would do that, too?
BP: Sure, and Alf probably would have been the first to go.
JJ: Oh, if only that could have happened. Then, it would be one down in the annoying individuals involved in 10-10-220 commercials.
BP: I hear that.
JJ: So, what are you up to these days?
BP: Well, I’m getting jobs in films on occasion and I do voice-over works for animated shows and such. It’s working out well.
JJ: Any chance for a Perfect Strangers reunion?
BP: I’d love to do it if the offer came on the table.
JJ: And I’d love to write the script! I have it all planned out. Balki goes back home to Mypos with this family, but this time, Larry is offered a hefty sum to take work, in, off all places, Mypos! So, the Bartokomous family and the Appleton family meet together again this time in their European ancestry.
BP: Well, just pitch it to Warner Brothers! With ABC’s crap shows like The Bachelorette, hopefully they’ll be willing to bring back some of their great 80s show.
JJ: Yeah, I’ll be praying for it. Well, thanks for this interview, Bronson!
BP: (in his Balki accent) As they say in Mypos, “Kiitzii kooki galah!” or “Your Welcome and Goodbye, Everyone. I Love You All!”