The Super Bowl Halftime Show
2004 Inductee
Super Bowl Halftime Shows have sucked a lot. But, perhaps none sucked more for the entire nation and for free speech than this past year’s show. The now notorious “Boobgate” involved Justin Timberlake, a recurring visitor to THE HALL OF CRAP SANDWICH, ripping off Janet Jackson’s dress, and revealing a nipple. Well, needless to say, plenty of uptight Americans were angered, and thus, the words “wardrobe” and “malfunction” were put together, and the scope of American television would change like we never would have expected.

Following “Boobgate,” Jackson avoided the public like, well, her brother Michael, and then released a formal apology. Throughout the whole mess, Justin Timberlake seemingly did not even get acknowledged for his part in the whole matter because, you know, all whiny white men are innocent. The incident became the most replayed by TiVo viewers because they, of course, wanted to see a flapping booby.

But, what “Boobgate” really did was that it hurt the future of television, and turned the FCC into the biggest pestering hound dogs. Okay, so that was a weird metaphor. Nonetheless, the FCC was on just about everything. They hit CBS with a big fine as a result of the Halftime Show, a scenario that the network really could not even control. They then released their assault on Howard Stern, who, though offensive and inane, has been offensive and inane for two decades now. It got to an even more ridiculous point when numerous ABC stations chose to not show an un-cut version of Saving Private Ryan for fear that they would be fined by the FCC. Thus, the FCC suddenly turned our TVs into an even more censored source of entertainment. In Europe, nudity and profanity are allowed after 9 or 10 p.m. In America, a boob slip or dropping an F bomb by Bono has people shitting their pants. Yes, I said it! Shitting their pants!

As we progress into 2005, we do not know what the FCC has in store for all of us. But, we surely know that an incident like “Boobgate” has helped pave the way for problems. Did we really have to see people talk about such an incident so much? Nope. I mean, come on, let’s think about it. It was just a nipple! Are our children’s minds that tainted?! They look at Britney Spears, who practically is attempting to show her nipples anyway! Well, as far as we’re concerned, we were thoroughly annoyed by the Super Bowl Halftime Show. It was unentertaining, and then became amazingly annoying, and now harmful to what little freedom TV already has. Thus, the FCC, Janet Jackson, Justin Timberlake, and everyone else involved in the Super Bowl Halftime Show has earned a place as a 2004 inductee to THE HALL OF CRAP SANDWICH!

The halftime show got a little too boobylicious.
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