by Ravi Shankar
It has gone on for too long. This October it will be its 510th Anniversary. Yet, what we have been presented with since grade school has been a complete sham. That “on that day in 1492, Columbus set sail the ocean blue.” Oh yes, that is true. But his claim and presentation by society as him being a hero has been incredibly false.
Christopher Columbus set sail with the help of Spain’s Queen Isabella and King Ferdinand. His financial situation was in such a terrible predicament that this historian believes good ole’ Columbus probably had to suck Ferdinand’s dick several times to get the boats: the Nina (the name Columbus went by as a transvestite), the Pinta (the nickname of Columbus’ small dick), and the Santa Maria (unknown where it came from, but certainly something derogatory, eh?). So, Columbus was looking to find the wealth of the Far East, but, uh-oh! The jackass went the wrong way! So, the jackass headed instead to the “New World” and his future fame.
When he got to the “New World,” which was not even mainland America, the jackass caught his first glimpse of Native Americans. So, being the dumb jackass that he is, he still thinks he is in the Far East, and believes them to be Indians! So, he refers to them as Indians, a name that would stick with their race for years to come.
After coming on to their land, the Native Americans were still nice enough to care for the jackass and his crew. And how does the jackass say thank you? He claims the land in the name of Spain, and then fatally ravages the Native Americans using violence and the spread of disease. The violence would be a disturbing part of the future of Native Americans.
So, in one fell swoop, the jackass goes the wrong way, labels a race the wrong way, begins a future of violence against one race, and then claims land already inhabited by others in the name of the country he represents. And this man is considered a hero?
The white man and his academic system have plagued children from a young age. Kids are presented with Christopher Columbus as a true hero, the discoverer of our great land, riding his way to a fun time on the Nina, the Pinta, and the Santa Maria. It is not until later that people realize (and some still have not) his negative effect on one race of people and his stupidity.
On my list of Historical Assholes, Columbus is #2 behind Hitler, but doesn’t this seem strangely like the two are the same? Columbus bosses his way around in a determination to get what he wants, which means to obliterate a race as part of the plan. Sounds a lot like the #1 asshole, eh?
Regardless, it is time to end all of this. WIPE AWAY COLUMBUS DAY! It is the most worthless national holiday. It honors someone who did not bring any good to our world. Selfish students will even agree because most do not even get a day off from school for the holiday. The focus is simple: begin a petition to WIPE AWAY COLUMBUS DAY and replace it with something else; something much better such as NATIONAL NATIVE AMERICAN DAY or simply do not replace it at all. JUST GET RID OF IT!
