::not just yet::

Not Just Yet
By Katie

Disclaimer: I own nothin'. But I pray all the time for Brendan Fehr
to show up at my house. The song is Swear It Again by Westlife, and I
own nothin' yet again.
Author's Note: I suggest you read the lyrics to the song as you read
the Fic, cause I know a lot of people don't do that, I'm guilty of it
as well. But I think it goes really well with the Fic. Also if you
have the mp3 of it, put it on and keep it on repeat as you read, it
makes the atmosphere for the Fic really good.

I wanna know
Whoever told you I was letting go
Of the only joy that I have ever known
Girl, they were lying
Just look around
And all of the people that we used to know
Have just given up, they wanna let it go
But we're still trying
So you should know this love we share
Was never made to die
I'm glad we're on this one-way street
Just you and I
Just you and I
*****

Maria wasn't sure if she was doing the right thing. Michael had told her that he loved her, and then ran off. She needed to talk to him, tell him that she loved him as well and that she wasn't going to give him up that easily.

Maria pressed herself to move up the stairs that lead to his apartment. It seemed like they had tripled in numbers, and her legs were becoming heavy. She knew she wasn't tired. It was the fear of what laid beyond that door.

Maria finally came to stand in front of his door. She just looked at it, not sure if she should knock, walk in, or just turn around and leave. She decided that he had to hear what she had to say or she would live in misery and what ifs, if she didn't do this.

Lightly knocking on the door, Maria waited for a response. After a little while she was scared that he had already left. But then she heard his feet scruffing against the floor, and knew that he had just woken up.

Michael opened the door to see Maria standing there, she was gripping her jacket in her hands and her knuckles had turned white. He knew then that she was nervous about being there. He himself was nervous about her being there. But knowing that this would come up, he knew Maria would not just give up as easily as he hoped, and prayed she would. He didn't want to endure hers and his own heart ache even more. The thought of not seeing her, feeling her, being able to touch her tore him up inside. But he knew that this was for the best, and Maria's safety was for most in his books.

"Can I come in?" Maria asked in a whisper.

She sounded so weak to him, which tore his heart up beyond prepare. He was the one who put her in this position he had to make amends.

Michael nodded his head for Maria to come in. She slowly passed him, and walked into his place. Michael could smell her all around him, it consumed him to a point that he felt like breaking down into her arms just to be near her again.

Maria walked towards the middle of the room, then turned around to face Michael. He was just staring at her, not saying a word.

Michael waiting to see what she had to say, pondering if she would cry, make him crumble or yell and make him crumble. Either way, Michael knew something was going to happen that night between them.

"Michael..." She whispered. But didn't wait for him to say anything, she went on and said what she had been feeling all day. "How could you leave me? How can you just walk away so casually after telling me you love me? How can you throw me away like yesterdays news? Why can't we be together, when you know in your heart I would follow you anywhere?" Maria asked a million questions, but staying in a soft whisper. With her eyes glued to the ground, not daring to look at Michael knowing it would only cause more tears.

*****
I'm never gonna say goodbye
Cos I never wanna see you cry
I swore to you my love would remain
And I swear it all over again and I
I'm never gonna treat you bad
Cos I never wanna see you sad
I swore to share your joy and your pain
And I'd swear it all over again
All over again
*****

Michael didn't know what to say. He loved Maria and of course he didn't want to give her up. He watched the pained expression cross her face as she poured her feelings out to him.

"Maria..." Was all he said.

Maria was taken aback by the softness in his voice, just the way he said her name sent vibes all over her body.

"Tell me Michael. Why can't we be together?" Maria pleaded more then asked for his answer.

"You know why Maria." He said as he walked towards her, confused as to why she wouldn't look at him.

"No. No I don't. Please explain it to me?"

"I could hurt you, I am hurting you now. By us staying together, I'll end up causing you more pain then it's worth." Michael said as he walked up to Maria and placed his hands softly on her shoulders, and then trailed his fingers along her neck and chin like a feather. Using his two fingers, to ease Maria's chin up, so her eyes were locked with his. "I do love you Maria, and that's why we can't be together."

"I love you too Michael." Maria sobbed out between tears. "That's why we should be together, I know you wont hurt me. Please Michael, without you I'm empty. The pain is worth the reward." Maria pleaded with her eyes.

"Oh, Maria..." Michael sighed as he watched the love and hurt in her eyes, all directed at him. He couldn't help but wrap his petite fairy in his arms and hold on to her for dear life.

*****
Some people say
That everything has got it's place in time
Even the day must give way to the night
But I'm not buying
Cos in your eyes
I see a love that burns eternally
And if you see how beautiful you are to me
You'll know I'm not lying
So there'll be times we wanna say goodbye
But even if we tried
There are some things in this life won't be denied
Won't be denied
*****

"I want to be with you so much. But my life is being twist up-side down, side-ways and back-ways. Until I can figure out how to control my powers, until all the dangers in my life are laid to rest, and until my mind is set at ease knowing I can be normal with you. We can't be together. Oh, please Maria. Will you wait for me?" He asked kissing the top of her head, that was buried in his chest sobbing.

"I will wait for you, until the end of time, I will wait for you. One night of happiness is all I ask. Please Michael, I want something to remember us by." Maria looked into his eyes for truth of his words. When she was the happiness that resigned in them, she went on. "I want something to remember [i]you[/i] by."

Michael knew this was the most wonderful thing that ever happened to him. Never knowing someone could feel this much for him, never knowing he could mean this much to someone. And above most all, never knowing someone could mean this much to him. He leaned down and captured Maria's mouth with his own.

Michael kissed Maria with a love and tenderness he never knew he possessed. He kissed her tears away, not wanting them to streak her perfect and beautiful face. Then easily carried her to his bedroom and laid her on the bed.

Maria barley noticed that Michael had taken her to the bedroom, but was glad he did. She wanted to be with him, she wanted to have a part of him forever part of her.

Michael didn't hesitate with discarding their clothes, not breaking the heated kiss they shared. Knowing that this for certain was what they both wanted. Maria helped him by positioning her body into his, in what would help with flesh against flesh heat that they desperately desired.

Ecstasy and contempt was what described soul meeting soul, fire quenching fire, wondering star being found and life being created. Michael and Maria came as one and found each other in a way that no one but each other could satisfy.

*****
More I know of you
Is the more I know I love you
And the more that I'm sure
I want you forever and ever more
And the more that you love me
The more that I know
Oh, that I'm never gonna let you go
Gotta let you know that I
*****

Maria awoke with true morning shinning in her face. False morning have come and gone for an hour or so now. Michael's arms draped around her, in a protective and loving embrace.

"Morning." Michael said placing a small kiss on the back of Maria's head, as she was turned away from him.

Maria shifted her body around to face his. Placing her finger against his lips she hushed him. "Shhhh...... Not just yet. I don't want you to go just yet."

Michael didn't complain about what Maria wanted. Because it was what he wanted. He didn't want it to end just yet. He wanted to hold her for as long as possible, before they had to face reality and part each other. Knowing that they would be together in due time, but not just yet.

They made their own destiny, with tenderness, truth and love. They knew deep in their hearts they would be together, but they had to have faith in time, as well as each other.

"Not just yet..." Michael heard Maria whisper again. He tightened his arm around her, and they drifted off to sleep prolonging their departure for just a little longer.

All over again
And I swear it all over again
*****

The End