G WING INTERVIEW
By Dalton

INTERVIEWER: The skies are blue, the sun is out and as I sit her in this quaint, little, out-of-the-way diner, I can't help but think, "What a wonderful day to meet the most radical music group to come out of nowhere! The G-Wing Boys!" Ever since this new boy group hit the charts 2 weeks ago with their number 1 single "War", they have continued to sweep the charts and the girls off their feet! They are preparing to start off on their first World Tour, so keep your eyes glued to MCV News for updates on shows coming to a town near you! And don't forget there's a movie in the works, which I'm hoping to get more info on when the boys get here. They are a little bit late, but they are definitely worth the wait! Don't you think? Oh, wait! A long black limo just pulled up to the curb outside. It could be...it is! It's the G-Wing Boys! I am so excited! Can't you just feel the excitement?

Ah, the first one out of the limo, provided by the wonderful executives at MCV, is that all-American cutie, Max Duowell! Wearing a blue bandana across his brow, ala: Willie Nelson, a fantastically vibrant, tangerine shirt from LeChic and cuffed black jeans, this G-Boy's attire just screams, "Come and get me, girls! I'm carefree and I'm all yours!" He he.

Right on his heels is the sexily, shy Bart Trowan. This Ukrainian stud is wearing the latest from Timmy Hilfigure: Black shorts and black half-Tee top covered very stylishly with a long, deep purple trench coat. Will this base playing hunk finally open up and reveal the secrets of his heart to us? We'll soon see!

Oh! It's the adorable Q.R.! Looks like he and Bart have been shopping at the same store, but our precious Q. has black Hilfigure pants with a black duster and purple silk scarf. No matter what this fair Arabian wears, you can bet its will always look good on his hot little bod!

Sneaking around the back of the limo is our last two G-Boys : Wuchei Fang, the darling drummer, and Zero Yui, master of lead guitar! Both of these solemn lads have opted for the black leather, sleeveless vest look. And let me tell you ladies now, neither one is wearing a shirt under those vests! Yes, mam, muscles are rippling free to view here!

[The boys sit around the cafe table, a few of them grumbling slightly.]

Well, let me first off say that it is quite an honor to have this rare chance to speak with you all. Never has anyone been able to book an interview with you before. Did you know how difficult it is to get any questions answered about you?

WUFEI : I can imagine.

QUATRE : Oh, I'm sorry. Was it that hard for you to reach us?

TROWA : We've got a very good commercial manager.

HEERO : Thank you, Tr....Bart.

DUO : Hey! Ask me all the questions you want, lady! I'd be only too happy to chat with you. By the way, where's the food? Didn't someone say we'd get to eat at this thing? I'm starved.

INTERVIEWER : Don't worry, Max. We have a buffet ready and waiting.

DUO : Wooooweeeee! I'm in heaven!

INTERVIEWER : It'll be here in a moment, but we were afraid for a minute there that you guys weren't going to show.

HEERO [murmuring under his breath] : We wish...

INTERVIEWER : What happened to you guys? Why the late show? Trying to be "fashionably late"? He he.

QUATRE : We're terribly sorry for keeping you waiting, Miss, but, you see, we had this little problem at the airport...

WUFEI : Those infernal scoundrels "relieved" me of my Nataku! INTERVIEWER : Your what?

TROWA : His sword.

DUO : Yeah, the security guards totally cleared us out.

HEERO : I feel naked without a gun.

WUFEI : It's abominable!

QUATRE : Well, Zero, maybe it's because you aren't wearing a shirt. The breeze is a little nippy today and your gun wouldn't have covered you all that much.

[Heero glares at Quatre.]

You want my coat?

WUFEI : I want my sword!

INTERVIEWER : Oh...uhmmm...well...I'm sure you guys don't really carry weapons around with you. Not with a young audience trying to emulate all that you do. You're talking about props from your stage act, right?

HEERO : No.

INTERVIEWER : ?!

DUO : Well, you see, it's like this : there's a war on, right? And you just can't be sure who your enemy is anymore. So, it's always good to pack a gun or two; or, in WuChei's case, a sword and a couple of wicked knives, and...ow! Bart, man, why'd you kick me?

QUATRE : Yes, Miss. They are just stage props. [Big, innocent grin.]

DUO : Oh! Yeah! Yeah, [winks] Just trying to keep up that "tough guy" image. Heh.

INTERVIEWER : Oh, you are so right Max! He he. Well, now that we've had that explained, let's get down to the really important questions. What is your favorite color?

QUATRE : Purple!

WUFEI : That's an important question?

DUO : Oh, man, that's a tough one. Can I say more than one color? 'Cause one just doesn't cover it for me!

TROWA : Hmmm, noone's ever asked me that before. How about.....Blue.

HEERO : No comment.

QUATRE : Blue? I thought you liked green. You're always wearing that green turtleneck...

TROWA : Blue.

DUO : Tie-Dyed! I like Tie-Dyed!

QUATRE : That's not a color, Max.

DUO : Yeah, but you can make it with lots of different colors. So, it works for me!

INTERVIEWER : You've got a point there, Max. How about you , Wuchei? And you too, Zero. Come on, don't be shy.

DUO : Those two, shy? [chuckles.] Lady, what you don't know....

WUFEI : Alright, woman, I'll answer your senseless question. IF I should have a favorite color, it would be White. Within the purity of its brightness lies every color, every hue,and every shade. It is all, yet it shows nothing of what it holds. That is why it blinds others with its virgin truth.

DUO : I like his answer! Can I use it at the next interview, Wu-man?

HEERO : ...........

INTERVIEWER : Oook. Well, Wuchei, funny you should mention virginity, because that segways nicely into my next question! Every girl wants to know what your first kiss was like - or, are you still waiting for that certain someone ? Do tell!

[Uncomfortable silence.]

Don't tell me the G-Wing group has lost their "tongues"? He he.

QUATRE : I believe I speak for everyone when I say we would rather keep our private lives, uh, "private".

INTERVIEWER : I just want you all to know how many hearts you are breaking out there. Are you sure you wouldn't let just a little hint out?

TROWA : If we told you, we would have to kill you.

INTERVIEWER : What?!

DUO : Uhm..."tough guy" thing...

INTERVIEWER : Oh? Oh, yes! Ha ha! You guys are a laugh riot! Alright, you've been gracious enough to grant me this interview, so I'll skip down to one other question : How did G-Wing come together to make the awesome sound the world has gone crazy over? How'd you meet? Who came up with "G-Wing"?

HEERO, TROWA, QUATRE, and WUFEI : Max!

DUO : Well, yes, it was my idea, heh. I thought it was a good one. I mean, we needed to get around...

HEERO : The purpose was to do so without attracting any notice.

DUO : Hey, World Tours, He..Zero! We can be booked at every GI show there is and they'd never even know who was actually coming to "entertain" them. It's a perfect plan, if I do say so myself.

WUFEI : It doesn't work if our weapons are confiscated at every airport!

QUATRE : Props! He means Props!

TROWA : I don't really mind it too much. Whatever gets the objective completed....

WUFEI : I mind. I don't particularly care too much for leather....

HEERO : Max, what is the point of the element of surprise when the whole world knows where we are going to be?

WUFEI : ......it chafes.

DUO : Like you had a better plan?

QUATRE : I liked your plan, Max.

DUO : Thanks, little buddy.

WUFEI : Why not....What is the word for those music janitors?....Roadie. Why couldn't we have just been Roadies?

DUO : Oh, man! You have got no sense of adventure! Roadies? Please. The god of death does not carry someone else's gear. There's no..what do you call it, Wu ?...HONOR in being anywhere less than in the middle of the spotlight. And, just think of all the free food and travel we get...not to mention the girls! This is where the party is! Hey...speaking of food, where's that buffet?

TROWA : Perhaps Heero is right.

DUO [Looking as if he has been struck.] : Et tu, Barton?

QUATRE : I'm sorry, Duo, but if Trowa doesn't think this is a good idea, then I ....

DUO : What?! Just because Trowa has changed his mind, you have to too? Geez, throw me a bone here, Quatre. You're supposed to be the kind one. Fine, just go on and beat me up like the others...nice pal you turned out to be.

QUATRE [Eyes welling with tears.] : I'm sorry, Duo......I...I....[Runs off crying.]

TROWA [Standing up.] : You better go apologize, Maxwell.

DUO [Running after Quatre] : Oh, geez....Hey, Quatre! Come on back! You know me and my big mouth...

[Wufei stands.]

TROWA : Duo's got it covered, Wufei. You don't have to help.

WUFEI : You think I care about those two emotional imbeciles? I'm going to get my knives back. Justice shall be done. [He leaves.]

[Heero and Trowa look at each other, then nod. They both walk away from the table.]

INTERVIEWER : Hey! Hey! What about my interview?

HEERO : Mission.......unacceptable.