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In Memory of the hylien007
Groved Over
The demise of hylien007 has to be one of the most uncomfortable ways to go. At least we've know who the culprit is behind this heinous murder. Unfortunately, he will never be brought to justice.
hylien007 was added to the staff after the disappearance of The BrackefurHare. Those his death was horrible it was time to move on and that's what we did with good ole' Hilly. He was an excellent updater and brought a unique style to the site.
It seems that hylien007 was able to predict his own death as seen in his last official update. He didn't quit so we can only assume that he knew his death was coming.
Police found hylien007 in a trash can on Sesame Street a day after his last official update. He had been severely beat up and strangled. The nearby Oscar the Grouch was glad that the police arrived for they would be able to stop Hilly's lifeless body from "staring at him like that."
It took a good while for information on the case to come through, but eventually it did. It would seem that Grover of Sesame Street fame was responsible for the beating. It is believed that he killed Hilly because of his refusal to properly captilize and space his name. Though Grover denied all accusations at first he eventually gave in and admitted it. Unfortunately, muppets aren't people and therefore can't be tried in court. There is no way that Grover can be brought to justice for muppets are not bound my the law of The United States of America. We can only hope that someday he trips and falls right into a steel press.
Though hylien007's death was a horrible tragedy it is apparently not the end of him. He has mysteriously made another update when no one was looking. Could his ghostly form be trying to contact us? We may never know, but we're turning our Poltergust3000s off for the time being.
hylien007's final UDRC update can be seen here
hylien007's ghostly UDRC update can be seen here
Points worth noticing in Hilly's ghostly update would be that he refers to himself as alive and thinks that Oscar the Grouch was responsible for everything. It is believed that upon leaving his body he saw it near Oscar and assumed that it was someone else who had been murdered by Oscar. An intriguing turn of events to be sure.
Also, I'd just like to state for the record that Hilly was the greatest staffer ever to work at Lite. He was simply funnier than the rest of us.
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