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| What's Up, Doc? |
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| There was a city doctor who started a practice in the country. He once had to go to a farm to attend to a sick farmer who lived there. After a few housecalls, he stopped coming to the farm. The puzzled farmer finally phoned him to ask what the matter was. "Don't you like me, or somthing?" The doctor said, :No, it's your ducks at the entrance. Every time I enter the farm, they verbally insult me! **** One mouse said to another: "I've got three brothers in psychological testing and a sister in research! **** God heals but the doctor takes the fees. **** Did you hear about the podiatrists who were arch rivals? **** Doc to Humpty Dumpty: The cracks can be fixed but your cholesterol level is another matter! **** Did you hear about the doctors on strike against the huge managed-care network? HMO officials said they'll find out what the doctors' demands are, as soon as they can get a pharmacist to go over there and read the picket signs. **** Two phychiatrists were at a convention. As they conversed over a drink, one asked, "What was your most difficult case? The other replied, "i had a patient who lived in a pure fantasy world. He believed that an uncle in South America was going to die and leave him a fortune. All day long he waited for a letter to arrive from an attorney. He never went out, he never did anything, he merely sat around and waited for this fantasy letter from this fantasy uncle. I worked with this man eight years." "What was the result?" "it was an eight-year struggle. Every day for eight years, but I finally cured him. And then that stupid letter arrived! **** A guy's wife and kids all came down with the flu. Upon returning home from the pediatricians office with his four kids, he turned his attention to his ailing wife. After preparing some chicken soup for her, he picked u the phone to call the doctor. The receptionist picked up and he related the situation to her. She then told him that the office was going to be closed for a couple of days but that his wife could have an appointment in three days. He went ballistic and yelled into the phone, "Three days? The doctor can't see her for three days? She could be dead by then!" Calmly the voice at the other end of the line replied, "If so, would you please call to cancel the appointment?" **** My doctor is wonderful. Once, when I couldn't afford an operation, he touched up my X-rays. -Joey Bishop **** Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died. -Erma Bombeck **** You Know It's a Bad Day In The ER When.... you show up for work and there are bars on the windows and there's a metal detector at the door. the paramedics in the parking lot are using a hose to clean the ambulance. the last shift has a hard time keeping a straight face especially when talking about room 15. your next five patients and their families all scream at you in different languages, none of which you can speak. the intoxicated patient tries to get your phone number because you're so sweet. the hospital's attorney wants to talk to you but won't tell you why until you get there. the hospital has a surprise disaster drill and you're the only one who wasn't told. no one remembered to get coffee. you have writer's cramp and you have seven hours to go on your shift. in the middle of the disaster drill two trama patients come in. the hospital administrator left a message that a news crew would be showing up and to act natural. it is the first day for the new medical interns, paramedics and nursing students all the same day. |
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