| Red face, continued |
| It was in the early 1960's and spray deodorant, new to the market, was being advertised on television about six times a day. I was still living at home with my parents saving money for college. One afternoon after a hard day of construction and before dinner I took a nice hot shower. After drying off I spotted a new spray can on the bathroom shelf. The label read "SafeGuard" and I was surprised that my mom had bought some of that new deodorant. I sprayed a liberal amount under each arm. When I entered the kitchen, where mom was fixing dinner, I thanked her for getting some new spray deodorant but also complained that it was pretty sticky and I didn't know if I really liked it yet. Her respnse still rings in my ears. "I didn't buy any spray deodorant, but I DID buy some of that new spray on bandage, "SafeGuard". After shaving my arm pits in order to lift my arms and hours of laughing by my entire family I realized that Right Guard and Safe Guard were not the same thing. This item was taken from Reader's Digest Back in the early 90's when I was living in Las Vegas, I'd purchased a brand new 25" television. My roommate and I had set it up and were playing around with the fancy remote control when my roommate's girlfriend Kate came over. I was seated at the end of the couch, with my arm hanging over the edge, my hand clutching the remote control completely out of Kate's site. My roommate decided to play with her mind, and promptly announced that the TV was "voice-activated." Kate didn't believe him. He said, "TV Volume up." Without missing a beat, I hit the volume up button on the remote and it went up a few notches. My roommate continued to issue the TV commands. This lasted for about five minutes, and Kate was getting more and more amazed at this incredible invention. They left for dinner, and I forgot about the whole thing until the next afternoon. I came home from work and found Kate standing in front of the TV shouting at the TV, "ON! TV ON!" Taking pitty on her I said, "Kate? Here..." and handed her the remote. She took it, glared at it and promptly shouted "ON!" directly into the remote as if it were a microphone. While waiting for the bus one morning, I began chatting with a well-dressed man standing beside me. He asked if I lived nearby, so I told him I lived down the street, at 2130. He smiled and told me he lived a few blocks away, at 2104. "Oh, you must live near that old, beat-up house with the over-grown lawn," I said. Hes smile drained and he replied flatly, "That IS my house." I apologized and boarded the bus with my foot in my mouth and a red face. I took my poodle to the vet for a checkup. While talking to the receptionist, I spotted a dish on the counter with delicious-looking Christmas cookies. Helping myself to one, I sat down and took a bite. It was the worst cookie I had ever tasted. Searching through my purse for a itssue so I could get rid of it, I noticed several people giggling at me. "Those are dog biscuits," the woman next to me whispered. I fed the rest of the "treat" to my pooch, who enjoyed it much more than I did. |