If one ever needs to learn one thing, it's simply that there are no guarantees and that what you thought would make so much sense and be so right can actually be complicated and anything but what you thought it would once be.
Ideal, surreal, and real... the grey (culmination) of those worlds combined would be nice to stay in... but the lines are so finite that simply one must stand on his or her tippy toes to escape the suffocation of each world as they whirlwind by us in a storm of flurried events.
Past meets the present. Again and again. Deja vu all over again. One is left scared and shaking/twitching involuntarily in the corner of a room with his or her eyes closed to anything but safety.
Uncontrollable circumstances weigh in so heavily upon controllable actions and decisions. Empoweredness dissipates at every tick of the clock. It seems as if fate wants to run its course with little regard to the hearts of those involved. Beckoning, awakening, reckoning... knock knock... who's answering? What's involved? What will transpire?
We are the sum of our experiences. Without experiences and the sum of things, we have not lived, or we have no life.
That's a highly interesting statement. Very true of course... because what are we really except walking causes that lead to actions. What I did at point A effects point B etc.
If I were to die tomorrow, who/what would I be exactly? All that would be left of me is a motionless object that was once MY body. And of course people's memories of me, my actions, and how I made them feel, and how I effected their own lives. Beyond that...the standard unanswered question is... what's our purpose?
I am ignorant to a lot of things. But I will say that I strive to enjoy the time I have here on earth with what is presented to me. With that being said... where does one draw the line at what is merely tolerable... and what is actually worth anything? When it comes to this, I believe all of us are ignorant at times. Hindsight is 20/20 for a reason... If we had that perfect vision from the get go... I think we'd find ourselves in a lull. Granted that lull might be extremely peaceful and easy... would it honestly teach us anything? About ourselves? What we are willing to go through? What we are willing to do? I don't think so.
Comfort, ease, and PERFECTION... in my opinion... is not found in true perfection... I believe it is found in the grey. The everythings in between.... the moderations... the eye of the storm...
A splash of excitement, confusion, ignorance, the likes of which catch us off guard for a moment... these are what help us establish a grey.
The matter comes down to... how do we get to our grey? The constant weaving in and out from craziness to calmness can drive one mad. Yet the constant state of being one thing, can also drive us mad. Moderation and compromise is the key.
With the past, with the present, with the feelings, flowing in and out at an exhorbitant rate... one can be boggled down with so much that he or she just wants to throw the hands up and say "enough"
Surrendering...
To what has happened...
To what will happen...
To what became...
To what will become...
Time, fate, destiny, control, no control... whatever you might call it... the combination of all things... the culmination... the compilation... the degrees to which we operate... the degrees of seriousness we take things... how much heart we invest... anything and everything... dictate our experiences.
The sum of our experiences... that's all we are. May we all be blessed with better experiences than bad experiences. And may we all find our way into the grey.
I am lost. I am ignorant. But I am living. And life... as long as it continues... will present more experiences... and I will be one hell of a something, when all is said and done... I'm just searching for that grey... and in the mean time I am doing my best to help others into their greys... All the while, hoping nobody has bad experiences to sum themselves up with.
To finish this rambling... the likes of which maybe only 2 or 3 of you would actually bother to read in its entirety... (remember I write this stuff mostly for my own reflection)
What is your grey? Where is your grey? How can you achieve your grey? Are you trying hard enough? Are you thinking seriously enough?
Don't answer me. Answer yourself.
When all is said and done... everything is upon ourselves...and nobody else. Controllable, uncontrollable... causes and actions... coping, compromising, contemplating...and deciding...
Life is nothing but experiences... so live it, experience it....and love it.
Hell or high water... I love that I'm living. Now where is that grey?