Time and time again
I sit alone thinking "damn Ben, what the hell happened?"
Such a weird and long past
Proved time and time again it wasn't meant to last
Moments of denial, moments or yurning, some small eternal flame
Still somewhat ignited and burning
With
Or without you
I will forever be learning
Even though a few times I had to duck away in pity and shame
Seven days make a week
Some days I am weak
Looking left, right, up, and down
What the hell shall I seek?
In a peculiar friendship currently
Has my mind working overtime
Fast and furiously
Why must this be?
Why did it have to happen to me?
I am so damned naive
Always thinking no matter what
You'll always want my heart
And be so quick
So eager
Dying to retrieve
I used to believe
Now it's thoughts so sporadic it's hard to conceive
What the hell did you do to me?
What have you done to me?
What are you doing to me?
I just want it to be me knowing me
Let things be
Let time tell us all
Patience will let us see
But I must be naive
Somewhere deep down in a former land of make believe
You were all I could see
I could be drowning in our ocean of emotions
And you'd swim the deepest sea
Just to find and rescue me
At least I thought it would happen
One day eventually
In a way you're still the same
But my mind and my heart has now been tamed
Tried to be true
Tried to be everything for you
Got seemingly nowhere
Although my face turned to blue
Took my oxygen
In the weirdest moments you still do
But I'll keep being me
And always definitely let you be you
That's all we can do
I used to wish you full of regret
Now I look back on things
I wish to take that all back
And if I had money to do it
And hindsight certainly knows it
You and truth, is the safest bet.
No matter the heartache
No matter the mistakes
Our moments of truth
Stand out amongst this crowd of perpetual fakes
I can only thank you so much
I can only waiver in my mind just a touch
And I must be naive
But now I wish you nothing but happiness and success
And that, you've got to truly believe.
Our past is hardcore
It shook us like nothing and no one now or ever before
Didn't know how to find my heart after it was successfully tore
But I could count on you to be you and not too different from ever before
So thanks again
For all you've given
While I was deeply hurt and saddened a lot
You were at least the most genuine.
Now I must get off to sleep... my mind is still mulling things over...
I was naive about the secrets that you keep
Always thought I would be the one no matter where when or what
That you'd keep in your heart
So insanely deep
Now it looks like a case of "What If" and "Yeah but"
Time will tell
Our roots together
I would never sell
Thank you for you being you
And letting me be me
Best of luck in all you do
Time will give us our futures
What will it bring?
Guess we'll have to live and see.