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Contact Me at: anny_ksa@hotmail.com

A Little About Me and Why I Made This Site

1- Why i felt it was important to make this site

2- Something about myself

3- Climate

4- Landscape

1- Why i felt it was important to make this site:

There was a distinct reason that i decided to make this website. I married an Arab and moved to Saudi Arabia without knowing anything at all. I'm not saying that i would not have moved here had i known everything i know now, but it's better to change your life if u are totally informed beforehand. I think if i share my experiences and others do too then we can definetely help some women avoid disaster or we can help some women to make well informed decisions that will effect their whole lives. I live in Saudi Arabia so that is where my experience lies but I don;t want this site to be only for and about women married to Saudi's, I want it to involve any western or non Arab woman who is married to an Arab of any nationality, as you already know or will find out some day, us non Arab women married to Arab men have a lot in common with each other and easily form a strong bond with each other partially due to our similar circumstances.

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2- Something about myself:

I've lived in Saudi Arabia for 15 yrs. now. When I came here I only knew that women cannot drive and that it's hot, I didn;t know anything about the culture, landscape, my rights or lack of them. I came here with one small child and I went on to have 3 other wonderful kids while living in Saudi. I'm American and from Washington state, I miss the greenery and beautiful scenery there. I, like many other western women married to Arabs met my husband at the university, married and shortly after marriage made the joint decision to move here. I'm living in Al-khobar, Saudi Arabia, its a nice place for western people to live because there are a lot of us here and the society in this area is less strict that other areas in this country. I miss my parents a lot, but I'm really lucky that they come to visit us once a year and I'm able to go there to see them every other year.

Below you'll see something that I wrote specifically about Saudi Arabia as I've observed it throughout the years, I tried to be as factual as possible based on my own knowledge.

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3- Climate:

In most parts of this country, excluding a small portion-you'll find
Jan, Feb will be the coldest months ranging from 60's on up to the 70's, March
through April will be nice, 80's to 90's, May, June will be in the 100's, July
and August are the killers that can get to be over 120 degrees in the day time.
September starts to cool off but you're still in the 100's thru October, down to
the 90's in November and December, you'll see rain mostly in December, Jan, Feb,
and maybe March. The rain fall is usually really heavy for a few minutes and
then that's it for the day, or it can be rainy all day on and off, but there
are years when you won't see more than one rain fall all year. Some parts of the
country are humid like Jeddah. Riyadh and Al Hasa are noted for being very dry,
Al-khobar, Dammam and Dhahran are not dry, and can be very humid starting in June.
If we're lucky the humid days in the summer will be few, but there have been years
where the humidity is with us every day during the summer months.

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4- Landscape:

Saudia Arabia is desert, you'll see alot of sand and sage brush, rock formations also.
Around the Makkah area there are really beautiful mountains, you'll also see this near Taif, in fact the drive from Makkah to Taif is up in the mountains with spectacular scenery (see the photos below), a little bit scary too! The govt. beautifies the areas with a variety of flowers and trees that can withstand the extreme heat.

Jeddah Taif Mts.

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5- Dress codes:

For women, in more liberal areas like Jeddah, Al-khobar and
Dhahran a woman can get away with wearing a long shirt with a long skirt or baggy
pants, the shirt must cover all of the arms and bottom. You also have the option
to wear the local Saudi woman cover which is the black coat called the abaya. Some
western women wear only the abaya, no hair cover, some western women married to
Saudi husbands wear the exact same dress as the Saudi women, which is comprised
of the abaya, headcover(shayla), and veil, or u can forget the veil, depending
on what your husband and/or his family decide. Any woman planning to move here
should be aware of this custom and talk it over with her husband before they
move here so it is not an issue once u enter the kingdom. It is not mandatory
to wear the veil, in some areas it is mandatory to wear the shayla(headcover). In
all areas of the kingdom it is mandatory to cover the entire body modestly in
some form. Make up and long hair flowing down is frowned upon by the locals. You
have to be aware that your husband's family might pressure your husband once
he gets here into making you wear the veil as well as the abaya and shayla, I
personally wear the abaya, and shayla (scarf).

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6- Legal Issues:

According to Saudi law, once you and your child are in the kingdom
you cannot legally or otherwise leave this country without your husbands
written permission, this is a FACT. If your husband cannot give u written permission
for any reason then it is up to his father, or his brothers to allow u to leave.
Your husband has every legal right to forbid you from taking your kids out of
this country, there is nothing u can do about this, this is the law. If you want
to leave this country alone and your husband forbids you, u can go to your local
American consolate and they'll help u to go thru the proper steps to get out. The
proper steps involve pressuring the husband into getting the paper work done
to get u out, and that may involve an exit only visa which means u cannot come
back to see your kids, you have no rights at all as far as your kids leaving
the country are concerned, its all in your husbands hands, and if he dies, his
father or brothers hands. This issue is very serious and non reversible, there
is nothing your country can do to help u get your kids out of this country if
your husband forbids it, a lot of American women and European women have faced
leaving the country without their kids. If the husband has a heart, he'll arrange
for you to enter the kingdom when u want to see them. Here is official information from

U.S. Department of State, see "visitation rights".

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7- Your rights here:

If you end up with a husband that is abusive and his family
will not help you, if he's not following the Islamic laws and lifestyle, you
can go to a sheikh, or judge in the courthouse and they will help you. Many
American women here and European women have seen judges with legitimate
complaints such as the husband drinking alcohol (illegal here), or not taking
care of his wife and kids, not paying anything for them if he takes another wife,
and the judges in some cases I've heard about have sided with the western wife
and made sure she's taken care of. Don't ever be afraid to see a judge in the court
house, and make as many friends as you can here, there are a lot of American
woman married to Saudi's, many have been here for a lot of years and know many
ways to help you, or people who can support you.

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8- Social life:

Your social life will revolve around your husbands family, families
here are very large and they are very close, spending a lot of time together. Your
best bet to fitting into the family and not alienating them is to be polite, try
to dress like they do somewhat, learn about Islam and very important---start to
learn Arabic as soon as u enter this country by whatever method u can. Knowing
Arabic will help u stand up for yourself if you ever need to with the husbands
family, and it will impress them and this will give u points with them. You're going
to be under scrutiny like you've never been before or imagined possible, everyone
will want to meet you and stare at you trying to figure you out, this happens
to every western woman here, its unavoidable, so be on your best behavior.

A great part of your social life here, and your life line will be knowing a lot of
western woman that are married to Saudi's, you'll find out after living here for
a while that they will become your second family, and no one will understand
you as they do. If your husband is an Aramco employee there are a lot of
activities for you and your kids in Aramco camp, that's a great way to meet a lot
of women quickly.

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9- Medical care:

The medical care here is either government which is free, or private
hospitals and clinics with reasonable prices, and Aramco has its own hospital,
some companies also have their own clinics. If you're being treated in a government
hospital or Aramco hospital and they cannot help you they will send you to
the specialist hospital in Riyadh, or a U.S or European hospital for free
treatment. The medical care here is decent, not spectacular, but its adequate
and all doctors speak English.

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10- Schooling:

Your kids will automatically be Saudi citizens which means that
unless your husband can pull some strings, your kids will attend the Islamic/Arabic
speaking schools, which may be public or private. It is illegal for your kids
to attend the international or English speaking non Islamic schools.

They are not generally equipped here to deal with special needs kids, so many American
parents take their kids to school in other countries such as Bahrain, or even
move back to the U.S for specialized schooling. For basic problems such as
retardation, or slow learning there can possibly be schooling depending on the
area.

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11- Emotional issues:

Your family will not be with you and this is difficult because
you look around and see your husbands sisters all socializing with one another
and they turn to their brothers to take them shopping or visiting and you
have only that one husband who may not be real cooperative! Flying back to the
u.s. is very expensive and many husbands end up sending their wives home
every other year, many ladies I know haven;t been home in 5-10 yrs because
of the cost. Many of us here, no matter how close we may be to our husbands
families feel this pain of separation from our families in the U.S. strongly and
this can cause a lot of depression.
Another issue that is highly emotional is that of driving. Women in Saudi Arabia
cannot drive, and that can really frustrate you and cause depression as well.

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12- Positive issues:

Your kids will generally be safe here, you don't see or hear of
many (I never heard of any) kidnappings of children or sexual molestations. I'm
sure these things exist here, but the episodes are far and few between here.
Many mothers here feel comfortable to let their kids wander around alone in a store.
Your kids can go places without you and be safe, the kids can play outside with
minimal worries from the mother.
Another positive thing here is the Islamic environment, it helps to shape your kids
in areas such as how to dress modestly in public, how to act in public (there's
no sexual or intimate contact in public here), your kids can keep their
inocense here longer.

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13- Media here:

We have local television channels, and many different satellite
dishes to pick from. There are a few English language newspapers also. In addition
to these two mediums, we also have the internet of course which will offer you
huge benefits constantly as far as keeping up with the rest of the world.

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