Roul(looking very old): I get a wheelchair a blankly a driver and a nurse, yet I’m still depressed and you won't find out why until the next eerie B&W change!
Logic: Whys is that?
Roul: what?
Logic: that we don't know?
Narrator: MARKETING TACTICS! And BTW Roul you almost blew them shut up!
Roul: *decides never to speak again as an old man*
Auctioneer: *hammers loudly* I had to do that to get you all quite
Logic: its a bunch of old people not saying anything what’s with the hammer?
Auctioneer: It makes me feel special! anyway Hi Madame giry! oh right bidding!
Auctioneer: Look at this music box! it was found in crusty old vaults and is valuable and stuff!
Logic: Scene when has the saris opera been old and crusty?
Madame giry: Since the phantom burned it down.
Narrator: DON'T RUIN THE MARKETING TACTICS!
Auctioneer: Right buy this thing.
Random dude that holds things: Its a monkey see! and the only reference to the Persian AT THE SAME TIME! (oh and it works)
Logic: A crusty old monkey that plays half a show tune...who in their right mind would want that
Madame Giry: Hey eri- I mean the ghost owned that! Me buy me buy!
Roul: *razes hand because he promised not to talk*
Logic: I stand corrected...
Madame giry: well seeing as it was The phantoms and is important to me I’ll let Roul buy it.
Logic: *cries*
Roul(thinking because he can't talk): Hey Christine talked about this! She told me every detail about the monkey but none about why she was talking to voices in the first place!
Logic: Did Christine have a history of drug use?
Roul: *nods to nurse*
Nurse: *whacks logic on head with frying pan* Don't talk about Roul's-
Narrator(interrupting): MARKETING!
Nurse(correcting herself): Christine like that
Logic: *rubs head* I'll remember that.....
Obvious Biblical reference: *waves* Hi! I'm linked to the Big light thing!
Logic: *rolls eyes*
Auctioneer: For all you old farts out there this is the chandelier that wacko the broke!
Logic: How are you planning on selling a chandelier?
Narrator: their not were just using it for a kick-ass scene/time period change!
Loud organ music: BAHHHHHH BUM BUM BAUPP BAD BAHHHHHHHHHH!
Logic: *claps hands over ears* OWCH!
Rotting wood: *becomes gold*
Logic: WHAT?! Gold is a metal! I don't know if you noticed but WOOD IS NOT!
Narrator: Its to show The time change.
Logic: Metals turn into dead organic substances over time?
Narrator: *Shrugs* apparently.
Camera man: *looks up ballet rats skirts*
Carlotta: *Sings worse than I do in the shower*
Random people: we come bearing more random people and elephants while we sing about feasting!
Logic: yet none of you brought food, and why are you celebrating a bad singer holding a bloody head anyway?
Random people: We get really board on Friday nights.
Logic: Ah.
Piongy: *Sings in pig-Latin*
Conductor: Time for me to tell you how bad you are, STO-
Manager: As you can see they are trying *cough* and failing *cough* to Perform
Conductor: *&#(&%)(*^#!!!! I'm Rehearsing!
Logic: Actually the performers are rehearsing your training them....
Manager: Whatever, I’m just going to ignore you and keep talking
Madame Giry: *looks pissed*
Manager: BTW, people were spreading rumors about me retiring, guess what I AM! Bye!
Logic: your just officially telling them that Now and you leaving right away?!
Manager(retired): well first I’ll introduce the new dudes.
New dudes: *wave and throw out not-to-bright looking smiles*
Ferma: And because were rich enough to buy to opera we will be getting all our money from Roul!
Logic: *attempts to hang himself*
Narrator: only the phantom can hang people!
Logic: oh well I think I made my point anyway...
Christine: Its Roul! *rants a back-story we will never see*
Meg: Lucky you he’s hot!
Christine: *slaps meg* that’s not a good 1700s Adjective! *stares blankly forward*
Roul: I support all arts! Which is why you will never see me anywhere but here! Oh my parents do to!
Logic: first off, that makes no sense second off your parents are dead.
Director: NO! That’s just how it was in the SCRIPT!
Logic: So?
Director: This is a movie!
Logic: OH! silly me!
Roul: If my parents were dead I’d be count...*sharpens knife*
Logic: What about Phil
Director: *nails logic with frying pan*
Story: *continues*
Manager(retired): this is Carlotta our leading soprano for 5 seasons, tho thats not saying much.
Roul: *temporarily acts polite while scanning for nearest exit*
Manager(retired): And this is Piongy our, uh....guy.
Logic: Theres only one?
Manager(retired): No...but..uhhh he’s one of them....
Logic: then why mention him?
Manager(retired): he..uhh.umm....IS THE ONLY ONE ON OUR STAFF THAT CAN SING IN PIG LATIN!
Logic: oh.....
Roul: *thinks of excuse to leave* Ah! your rehearsing and you need as much practice as you can get so... *runs*
Christine: ROUL! ROUL OVER HERE! *Waves big red flag*
Roul(oblivious): *runs right by*
Christine: He wouldn't recognize me.
Meg: He must not have seen the big red flag.......
Narrator: the ballet starts to dance, Madame giry walks the "new" mangers by them
Ferma: I wonder if the blond one would have me for my money....
Madame giry: thats my daughter you perve! *nails Ferma with frying pan*
Andre: O.K. then how about...That one!
Madame giry: *rolls eyes* she’s an orphan....
Andre: hehe
Madame giry: But we might find you strangled to death backstage if you touch her....
Narrator: I think we should cut scene now!
Logic: good idea...
Cast: *randomly jumbles around stage*
Carlotta: Why were you watching the Ballet rats when you could be watching me!!!!
New managers: well uhhh ummm
Carlotta: fuck you I’m gone!
Manager(retired): go grovel 'this should be entertaining...'
New managers: *spew random complements never to be repeated(hopefully)*
Logic: Why not just ditch her?
Narrator: She popular
Logic: @_@??!!?!?!?!?!!!
Narrator: not really but she’s all they got....
Logic: and this is a revered opera?
Narrator: *shrugs* Oh look she’s about to sing!
Carlotta: *sings*
Masses: *writhe on ground in pain*
Phantom: *falls to knees* must....stop.....the....singin- well actually you can't call that singing can you? *cuts rope*
Carlotta: I could take time to move from the falling backdrop that I see while screaming but... *collapses*
Random important guy: Bouqett! what the fuck are you doing!
Bouqett: Hey you can't blame me I was off drinking! just blame the ghost then everyones happy?
Logic: well they can blame you because you should have been at your post to stop this instead of drinking on the job...
Manager(retired): Well We don't care much about him anyway
Logic: *shrugs*
Carlotta: YOU LET THAT THING FALL ON ME!
Logic: Well they can't control the forces of gravity!
Carlotta: THEY CAN FOR ME!
Logic: *rolls eyes*
Andre: Well sometimes the paranormal will appear out of thin air from shadows without an entrance and do something unexpected, it happens all the time don't blame us!
Carlotta: *spews completely unintelligible rant*
Logic: And this is supposed to make them WANT to keep you?
Piongy: Amateurs!
Logic: At what? groveling? Isn't that a good thing?
Madame Giry: Oh BTW the uhh paranormal dude reminds you that you have no power over anything at all
Andre: Isn't this like OUR opera?
Madame Giry: well you did buy it and have full legal rights to it but Fascism always wins...
Logic: Oh great the phantoms a fascist!
Madame Giry: he IS NOT he is a fair and just beautiful dark man with dreamy eyes an-
Narrator: a-HEM
Madame Giry: Right just give him free seating and pay him lots of money and you'll be fine *twirls hair*
Ferma: Umm no I’m money obsessed and that is not happening.
Madame giry: Your funded by a rich dude and your not exactly poor yourself why do you care?
Ferma: Umm...uhh…well...because…you see .uhhhh *randomly changes topic* We can't perform! EEEEEEK!
Madame Giry: Let a chorus girl you've never seen do it!
Andre: Ummm No?
Madame giry: but she has a good teacher....*eyes glance upward* A good teacher with dreamy eyes and a gr-
Narrator: HEH HEH HEEEMMMMM!
Logic: Lozenge? *offers Ricola*
Mountaineer: REEEEECOOOLLLLAAAAAA!
Phantom(from above to himself): Ok even I don't have any idea where that came from....
Madame giry: anyway, Hear the prettiness!
Christine: Think of meeeee!
Masses: *entranced*
Narrator: AWSOME SENCE CHANGES ROCK!
Christine: *continues singing*
Narrator: *increases pace of movie 15 times*
Audience: *drools*
Roul: Woaahh.... If only I knew she would become this hot....
Logic: I hear "hot" isn't a good 1700s adjective
Roul: *revels in past while randomly leaving*
Madame giry: *watches looking omnipotent*
Christine: Awesome opera-voiceyness!
Masses: woah....
Narrator: RANDOM SENCE OF FAT LADY AND CARLOTTA FAINTING!
Logic: the point being?
Narrator: *shrugs*
Christine: *lights a candle*
Phantom: Brava! See I am French I say "Brava!" its not like I’m a scottsman or anything...
Meg: you did good what are you doing hiding? we should be partying!
Christine: *Gives back-story*
Meg: sooo?
Christine: well I hear voices and I think its daddy!
Logic: Lets see our local Social Worker!
Christine: _|_
Meg: You serious?
Christine: *nods* Either that or he sent an "angel"
Logic: Ok Social worker or guest star on the Opra show your choice...
Christine: LAAAAAA! I'm being followed by this angel LAAA!
Meg: You look are freaky like! LAAAAA!
Christine: I love you but you scare me!
Logic: ummmm....
Meg: don't be scared! after all your only hearing voices!
Logic: uhhh
Meg: *throws hand in air* don't start it!
Narrator: Some time in the not to distant future in the other place over there!
Roul: *walks towards Christine's door*
Andre: Want us to show you Christine?
Roul: Ummm I was walking in her door I don't need help, but i will steal your flowers!
Ferma: heyyyyy.......I think they know each other......
Logic: Whatever gave you that idea?
Narrator: Roul enters the dressing room...
Roul: You haven't seen me in 5 billion years but I’m just going to walk in a talk like its nothing special
Christine: *plays along*
Roul: or chocolate!
Logic: *snaps to attention*...wha?
Narrator: you missed the beginning of the conversation shut up!
Christine: No I like it best when I have to lay wide awake because some psychopath is talking to me!
Roul: You sang like a sycopa- wait... You were supposed to say "angel"
Christine: whatever daddy sent me the Angle of music!
Roul: No doubt of it Mr. Frodo! Now we go to supper
Christine: No The psychopath will want we to stay here....
Roul: *ignores Christine* yah k I’ll hail a cab...
Logic: uhh Roul has it occurred to you she had a reason for saying "The angel of music is very strict"?
Christine: HEY!
Door: *Closes*
Mysterious hand: *Locks door*
Narrator: SYMBOLICNESS!
Key: TASSTLENESS!
Madame Giry: I am omnipotent! *dances*
Narrator: DRMATIC DRUMROLLLNESS!
Lights: *Blow out*
Logic: wha-?
Architect: &&^*(&%!!!! I knew I should have fixed that draft!
Narrator: No no no your supposed to assume the phantom did that!
Logic: How could he turn out all the CANDLES is the opera house without modern technology?
Narrator: Well you see plot holes are a lot like black holes and it sucked away all the air so the fires can't burn!
Logic: and Christine didn't suffocate?
Narrator: No now shut up!
Christine: tumm tee tum dum dum...I'm just leaving not expecting anything tumm tee-
Phantom: REVEL IN MY BIG BOOMING VOICE And DON'T TOUCH THE DOOR OR YOU'LL FIND OUT I LOCKED IT!
Christine: Ok.....
Phantom: Don't go with Roul What the hell were you thinking!
Christine: oh sorry I’m just so "weak"
Phantom: Ahh weak soul I get it.
Logic: Or maybe shed just rather talk to Roul seeing as they haven’t seen each other in years and your just a voice that she can't escape anyway...just maybe..
Phantom: SHUT UP!!!!
Logic: YOU CANNOT SILANCE ME!
Christine: so where are you dude?
Phantom: in the mirror! *holds out long note*
Christine: *stares blankly forwards drooling*
Logic: You've got a habit of doing that.....
Phantom: *becomes all mysterious like* I am that dude that likes to seduce you....
Roul(Behind door): Who?
Phantom: The angel of music!
Roul: okay...uhh…Christine? can you hear me?
Phantom: I am the angel of music!
Roul: I heard you the first time, and because the door is locked I think I'll just go get some pirogues...
Logic: For all you know some creepy opera guy just killed Christine, why not break open the door or something?
Roul: Because…I’m...uhhh...hungry, yah that’s it *walks away*
Booming music: *blows out speakers*
Lots of ears: *bleed*
Christine: *stares blankly*
Logic: She will never get tired of that will she?
Guard: No its in her contract
Narrator: Nice of you to join us
Guard: what can I say? I’m always late
Phantom: Take my hand and come into this random passage where no one could ever find you
Christine: Okay!
Logic: does the word "rape" mean anything to you?
Christine: No,
Logic: oh, well in that case
Christine: Besides why should I not follow an angel?
Logic: Because he’s a heavily cloaked man wearing a mask that has a mirror to spy on singers in their dressing rooms and is dragging you into a dark corner in a sewer?
Phantom: Don't listen to him
Christine: Okay!
Guard: just give up, you won't get any ware
Logic: Hey I got a job to do here!
Christine: The phantom of the opera is in my mind!
Logic: So you admit its a scitso delusion...and you still follow him?
Phantom: Sing with me! I control you! *coughs* obviously Now here get on my random horse that could not possibly have gotten into these narrow passages!
Christine: *gets on horse to take two steps*
Phantom: Now get off!
Logic: what was the point of that?
Christine: No one has ever seen you...but those who have draw back in fear
Logic: I sense some flaws here..
Narrator: and now! a boat!
Electric guitars: *get a solo*
Logic: They were big on those in the 1700s...
Gates: *go up by themselves*
Logic: huh?
Guard: motion detectors
Logic: They were big on those in the 1700s too
Candles: *come out of water and light* We are just SO DAMN COOL!
Logic: And so out of place
Fans: Do we care? no.
Logic: Fine be that way.
Phantom: Keep singing even though the song is over!
Christine: LAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!
Phantom: I have brought you to the center of all music!
Logic: wouldn't that be the stage 20 floors up?
Guard: Well yes but Erik has a bit of an ego problem...just play along
Phantom: You have come here for one reason! to sing for me!
Logic: Or because you dragged her down the tunnel
Phantom: Yes but...that’s not the point
Christine: *drools and stares blankly*
Logic: I'm starting to think she’s in a coma...
Guard: She drifts in and out of one...
Phantom: Night time makes everything cooler!
Logic: Your underground. night day, no difference
Phantom: well, its the light that is all cold and stuff
Logic: Which is why you have 14 billion candles...
Phantom: Shed the life you knew before and you'll live like you didn't before!
Logic: uhh...duh...
Christine: *stares blankly, and closes eyes and opens them again*
Phantom: *stops masking Scottish accent* let soul your take you were you want to be! and then you'll belong to be
Christine: my should would much rather be at a nightclub in New Orleans.
Phantom: NO IT WOULDN'T IT WANTS TO BE WITH ME! *gropes Christine*
Logic: no comment....
Narrator: that’s a first
Phantom: Get intoxicated and then touch me and trust me!
Logic: Your basically admitting that she would have to be drunk to sleep with you...
Phantom: *pulls back curtain*
Christine Doll: *stares blankly*
Logic: How life-like! for Christine anyway..
Christine: I have been hearing voices since I was 5 stared at via a one way mirror been dragged through a VERY unsanitary tunnel groped by a cloaked man in a mask and my hair band keeps disappearing and re-appearing, but now that I have seen something that looks like me.... *faints*
Phantom: *carries Christine to an odd peacock thing*
Narrator: I did my living room like that once… the wife hated it though So I had to replace the furniture
Meg: There is no reason for me to be in this room, at all!
Mirror: Look at me I’m...clear and pulled back!
Meg: Oh my god! some pervert has been watching Carlotta’s dressing room!
Hallway: I have no lights but am totally illuminated, walk down me!
Meg: k *walks down hall*
Madame giry: *pulls meg back* I am disappointed in you!
Meg: How did you know about this secret passage?
Giry: I will never tell you and this will never be explored again.
Logic: Then why is it here?
Guard: Because the editor is sleeping
Narrator: meanwhile with a drunk
Bouqett: This ghost is deformed and will kill you!
Ballet rats: this is exciting!
Logic: These people need to get HBO...
Madame giry: Freedom of speech does not exist in France you dip! *starts to strangle Bouqett*
Narrator: Meanwhile in the sewers
Alligators: We do exist!
Narrator: Not those sewers!
Christine: What happened to my knickers?
Logic: you were dragged into a sewer by a man in a mask and you fell unconscious. what do you think happened?
Christine: I only remember a few things, one of them is candles
Logic: I rest my case
Phantom: *tinkers on fisher price piano* oh hi, I’m going to not say anything
Christine: I'm going to take off your mask! *slowly takes off mask*
Phantom: *Makes no move to prevent it* DAMN YOU WHY THE FUCK DID YOU DO THAT YOU BITCH!
Logic: you practically had 2 weeks notice you could have stopped her if you wanted to
Phantom: YOUR CURSED YOU CAN"T EVER BE FREED BY MY MUSIC!
Logic: Dude this is totally your fault!
Phantom: *beats Christine*
Christine: Your right I’m evil you can keep beating me...
Logic: is anyone on earth really that easy to manipulate?
Garud: No.
Logic: Just checking
Phantom: Looks in mirror with a perfectly normal face* I'm so hideous!
Logic: You forgot your makeup dude...
Phantom: *wallows in self pity*
Logic: You've been down here with the bacteria a bit to long haven’t you?
Christine: have your mask back then
Phantom: okay all is righted
Narrator: Time travel!
Old Roul: *gets in car*
Logic: Why is it in the past they use color cameras and in the future they don't?
Guard: who knows
Narrator: Back to the past, managers are singing about...letters..
Ferma: Now that people think there is a crazy rapist sabotaging our theater we'll sell more tickets!
Logic: I love business
Andre: I'm PISSED!
Ferma: shut up we'll be fine
Andre: We have no cast
Ferma: Who cares?
Andre: True I got a note, it says ditch Carlotta
Ferma: Mine says we have to pay the opera ghost
Roul: Where’s my bitch yo'
Ferma: huh?
Roul: Did you give me this letter?
Andre: No.
Roul: oh, okay then
Carlotta: Roul I hate you! now die!
Roul: it says you should not be singing
Logic: umm..duh
Madame Giry: Christine is back
Everyone: okay whatever
Logic: Why does no one care where she was?
Phantom: I like voice overs! and by the way you should do every thing I tell you
Managers: Why?
Phantom: because I can cause disasters!
Carlotta: I'm outraged! and its all Roul’s fault
Roul: I hate you, so whatever.
Managers: *grovel at Carlotta* You can't leave us
Masses: We want to see Christine!
Managers: See they love you!
Logic: huh?
Ferma: We all need you yo!
Long song involving pathetic groveling and fuzzy things: *ensues*
Logic: Point! I demand one!
Roul: Christine spoke of an angel, and how the hell did i get in this sewer?
Logic: And what did that have to do with anything?
Narrator: later at the random opera production that is not the one they were rehearsing for before...
Bad opera: *plays*
Ferma: That is what the public loves!
Logic: bleached humans bad singing and a total lack of plot?
Ferma: Exactly!
Logic: I like the public of my century a bit better...
Phantom: Wreaking havoc is fun! and I have just invented the modern sub-woofer *booming voice*
Masses: *panic*
Meg: He’s here the phantom of the opera!
Logic: You have a very firm grasp on the obvious...
Carlotta: *croaks* matabahhh!!!! *runs of stage*
Curtain: *closes*
Managers: *teleport to front of stage*
Logic: Whoa...
Managers: We will now do something none of the crew is prepared for
Chaos: *ensues*
Sheep: Why did we sign on for this...*stand there*
Phantom: Bouqett... I am here to kill you!
Bouqett: Eeeep! *runs around randomly*
Phantom: *hangs Bouqett*
Masses: *panic again*
Guard: Their really quite good at that
Christine: Roul Were not safe here! so lets go up on the roof!
Logic: That’s tons safer
Roul: Why?
Christine: Because I'm being stalked by a murderous evil man!
Logic: What ever happened to "angel of music"
Guard: She has violent mood swings
Roul: This phantom doesn't exist despite all the things he just did
Christine: Roul I've been to his sewer, is cool...I mean a world of unending night
Roul: Feel all warm and fuzzy now!
Christine: Be nice and stuff! promise me lots of stuff
Roul: your all free and stuff now! say you'll love me and stuff CHRISTINE THATS ALL I ASK O- *looks to the side* Is that ice cream?
Director: CUT!
Roul: What?!
Director: *shakes head* Never mind...
Roul/Christine: *leave*
Phantom: YOU SHOULD HAVE NOT QUESTIONED ME YOU FUCKING BASTARDS! I WOULD GET SO MAD AS TO DROP A CHANDELEER BUT FOR SOME REASON I WON'T SO THAT UNTILL LATER!
Narrator: In the future when the phantom has been leaving people alone for a long time
Managers: The phantom is not here! woot!
People: We all sing in unison and walk in lines, This is the party event of the season!
Logic: No...this is an LSD trip
Puffkin/Ferbyman(not making this up folks): *waddles through*
Logic: I rest my case
Red Death: Look its me!
Everyone: *stops to look at him*
Logic: I know I would stop! Look a man in a mask...At a masquerade!!!
Red Death: Well I am wearing red, no one else is wearing red...
Logic: Theres a fucking furby man okay I don't find it that odd...
Crowd: OH MY GOD!!!!!
Red death: I can make the sound track spike with my feet! and just so you know I will never harassing you! oh and look I wrote an opera, Don Juan Triumphant! and you WILL waste countless resources making it when I have yet to give you one reason to do so, and you will work on everything I tell you to
everyone: Okay sure why not
Red death: and Carlotta sucks
Everyone: yup
Roul: *runs off to get sword*
Red Death: And Piongie is fat
Everyone: yup
Red Death: And Christine should let me rape her again, because she’s my bitch yo' *goes into hole in ground*
Logic: For the 1700s there seem to be alot of remote controlled devices...
Roul: *jumps into hole after Erik*
Narrator: Lots of mirrors and crap...
Roul: For some reason I can't hit the phatom with my sowrd when he's not in front of me...odd isn't it...
Logic: Yah...thats a real mystery...
Madame Giry: Come with me out of this death chamber that I magically got into, and no I don't know anything...
Roul: Yes you do
Madame Giry: Fine! I'll tell you my story!
Narrator: Madame tells roul about how she freed the phantom from a traveling fair hid him in a sewer and raped him several times (implied) then he grew up to kill people
Roul: Okay...uhhh right so why don't you stop him again?
Madame Giry: SHUT UP!!!! *bitchslaps*
Narrator: in the future Roul will see a dear, not this has anything whatsoever to do with the plot...
Guy with one leg: *walks in front of opera*
Narrator: That is critical to the plot too
Roul: I will protect Christine! *falls asleep*
Christine: I feel like endangering my life! *goes out to cab*
Cab Driver: I art drunk...
Christine: *steals flowers*
Phantom: *kills cab driver*
Logic: Was that necessary?
Christine: To my fathers grave, because of course whoever is driving this cab with know exactly where that is.
Roul: *wakes up* shit Christine is going to purposely endanger her life again *steals a horse*
Montage: of traveling people: *ensues*
Christine: my daddy is dead, and it sucks...and he told me stories that I badly misinterpreted *slowly walks to fathers grave and sits in front of it*
Logic: I wonder if that shot was perpetrated solely so we could see down Christine's shirt...or if that’s just a side effect
Phantom: I sound like the guy that just raped you, but I'm really your father trust me
Christine: Oh okay
Phantom: Come into my tomb...now
Christine: k
Roul: Whatever you believe that’s not your father
Phantom: *jumps off tomb*
Roul: *waits for the phantom to fix his cape* we can fight now right?
Phantom: yup
Battle: *ensues*
Christine: *stares blankly*
Logic: She’s really a pro at that
Roul: *kicks the phantoms ass*
Fans: Roul is such a wussy boy
Christine: Don't kill the crazy let him free!
Roul: Okay
Logic: WHY?!?!!
Narrator: Back at the opera
Roul: I have an awesome plan, when the phantom comes on stage, we shoot him!
Managers: Its genius!
Guards: *march into opera*
Narrator: Later in the chapel-closet
Christine: I don't want to be used as bait for a rapist
Roul: True but if you don't you'll never hear the end of it
Christine: *sings logical poem*
Everyone: *is totally caught off guard*
Roul: No pressure but if you screw up were are all screwed
Narrator: Meanwhile in the sewers
Frank The Alligator: I wish I had more to eat..
Bill The Alligator: Hey be happy with that reporter!
Narrator: The OTHER Sewers
Phantom: Fine whatever I'll just steal Christine and then burn things.
Sleazy opera: *plays*
Crowd: *Are outraged by the scandalous nature*
Logic: These people really aren’t ready for Broadway.
Piongie: I am seducing a chick!
Christine: *sings about herself in the 3rd person*
Phantom: *comes onstage* Its time for you the have sex with me now
Logic: Umm why arn't the police shooting the phantom?
Police: That’s not the phantom, short fat Italian men turn into tall scottsman all the time...
Everyone: *agrees*
Christine/Phantom: *sing about sex*
Christine: When will the blood begin to rise?
Logic: You think It hasn't? Or at least something else...
Phantom: *feels up Christine*
Logic: I rest my case
Phantom: *steals Roul's only song*
Roul: You bastard! and why hasn't anyone done something about the phantom yet
Christine: *rips off phantoms mask*
Crowd: OH MY GOD! ITS SO HIDIOUS EVEN THOUGH FROM THIS DISTANCE WE COULD NOT PASSIBLY SEE ANYTHING!!!!
Police: *surround the phantom but don't shoot*
Phantom: Okay fine I'll just knock down the chandelier and fall into the hole in the stage
Logic: No one notice that before?
Phantom: Nope
Logic: I'm starting the think the phantom tricking the opera establishment isn't all that remarkable...
Opera house: *lights on fire all at once in places no ware near the Chandelier that just fell*
Windows: *burst out one by one with flame*
Logic: When did a bomb go off?! without a shockwave there is no way that the windows would pop out with that much fire
Fire: *engulfs entire opera in seconds* I feel powerful!
Roul: Take me to the phantom!
Madam giry: Sure but keep your hand at the level of your eyes!
Phantom: Time to go back to the sewer! Why would ask that i'm bound in chains in this cold and dismal place!
Logic: She didn't, you live there yourself, she has nothing to do with it...
Very modern looking chairs: *burn*
Phantom: No one ever says kind things to me!
Logic: Gee that might be because your living in a SEWER!
Phantom: why?!
Narrator: With Madame Giry and Roul
Madame Giry: I don't dare go any further because of the trap door your about to fall into but I won't tell you about that
Roul: Oh okay
Logic: Lots of blind agreement in this film
Roul: *looks down spiral staircase and then falls into pit of water*
Logic: Hold up, if its a spiral staircase...and you fall through it, then you would be on the nest level of stairs, not a pit of water...
Roul: OH MY FUCKING GOD I'M ABOUT TO DROWN! oh look a switch labeled "reverse the death trap" thats convenient... hey look a walkway, cool, and i'm magically all the way down the stairs! awesome!
Narrator: Back with the phantom
Phantom: *wallows on self pity*
Christine: Are you going to rape me?...again?
Phantom: well yes but only because people are mean to me
Christine: Well I feel much better about it now
Roul: *shows up*
Phantom: yes I hoped you would come now I can rape you too!
Roul: whatever just let Christine go.
Phantom: The world showed no compassion to me
Logic: Thats because you LIVE IN A SEWER! That’s not commonly accepted in society
Phantom: I won't harm her...as long as you don't count rape as harm...I will strangle you though...So Christine heres your choice, spend an eternitude of being raped by an ugly man or watch your boyfriend die and still be raped by an ugly man
Christine: wow this is defiantly the way win my love...*kisses Phantom*
Phantom: Fine you can both leave... and let me remind you one last time with a poorly masked accent, i'm Scottish
Monkey: Look I can dance!
Phantom: *escapes*
Meg: Look its a mask and a monkey!
Narrator: And in the future Roul’s gives his dead wife the monkey, and we see a rose the phantom left which we are supposed to find romantic
Logic: Why wouldn't we, its so sweet that the phantom continued to stalk her mast his 100th birthday...
Guard: *wakes up* What did I miss?
