Narrator: Film? oh boggar I’ve been cut out again
Logic: We'll find things for you to do
Richard Pryer: *gets close up shot in first frame*
Franchise: *dies*
Logic: The world just wasn't ready...
Woman’s 80's hair: *throws off earth's gravitational pull*
Richard Pryer: I can't find a job!
Logic: I wonder why...
Matchbox: Earn big money! become a computer programmer!
Logic: That’s not oxymoronic or anything...
Narrator: Richy thinks about this opportunity
Credits: *fly around and dissolve into things*
Audience: Are we supposed to be able to read that?
People: *crash into things*
Penguins: WERE FREE!!!!
Random flame: *spins*
Penguin: Kamikaze! *lights self on fire*
Cliché blind guy's dog: *runs away*
Narrator: This was the best seeing eye dog the world has ever seen
Blind guy: *Grabs line painter thingy machine*
Flaming penguin(no I am not making this up): *Walks up to Clark* Wait a good actor? what are you doing here?
Clark: *Blows flame out of penguin* all is righted
Logic: You'd think superman would be able to see all the things collapsing around him
Clark: I work at a newspaper...so feel the incredible need to buy one.
Guy: *falls into pit*
Bank robber: In order to avoid attracting attention to myself from superman and the police I’m going to run around shooting things.
People: *Scream and run around*
Bank robber: I must get away! *slides very slowly down railing*
Snail: I beat him!!!!!! I actually won a race!!
Logic: And the metropolis police wonder why they need superman...
Guy's car: Gets filled with water
Guy: OH NO! I’m going to die! if only I could open the door...
Logic: you can
Guy: nope, no door opening for me.
Clark: *changes clothing in photo booth*
Photo booth: Even though you didn't pay me and you move faster than light I got great rez pictures of you changing!
Narrator: that was pointless
Superman: *opens guys door*
guy: *gets out* Phew! I didn't drown!
Jimmy: Way to go superman!
Logic: Thank god we have superman, who else would have thought to open the door.
Superman: *flies off*
Dude: *gets hit with paint bucket*
Mime: *Falls over*
Narrator: All of this is intensely critical to the plot
Logic: Ah yes that plot I hear so much about, I wonder if I'll ever be fortunate enough to see one.
Programmer lady: What if I wanted to program two corroridinates at the same time.
Bald dude: NO! YOU CAN'T NOW STOP ASKING ME QUESTIONS!!!!
Narrator: Spaz....
Richard Pryer's computer: *beeps*
Random text: *scrolls down screen*
Bald dude: Good lord, how did you do that!
Logic: By typing "BEEP" and then CLS: SHELL "DIR" in qbasic
Richard pryer: I don't know how I did that
Director: And now remember this points out that Richard pryer is a genius!
Logic: What that he can't remember what he just did 5 seconds ago.
Director: Yes! Now were are the flaming penguins!
Fans: *contemplate suicide*
Perry: Who is this?
Jimmy: A future character
Lois: I wish I had lines.
Clark: *Walks in* Hi peeps
Old woman: Perry pull jingo numbers OR DIE!!!!
Logic: Jingo numbers?
Narrator: god knows...and I’m sure hes the only one that wants to
Clark: Jimmy you have mustard on your shirt
Jimmy: No I don't
Mustard: *appears*
Jimmy: Oh, hey whadya know
Film Editor: *gets fired*
Logic: There was an editor!? And this was left in!
Guard: Wait till you see what happens without the editor
Narrator: glad you could make it
Guard: sorry I was...avoiding it...
Fans: Understandable
Old Woman: PULL MORE JINGO NUMBERS!!!!!
Clark: Can I go Perry huh huh can I!?
Lois: To what?
Perry: His high school class reunion
Clark: It would be front page news!
Perry: I'm already running a story about gangs of flaming penguins storming the streets
Audio: gets muffled for no reason
No one: *notices*
Perry: fine go to smallville
Lois: I'm going off set! *mumbles* and staying there...
Margot kidder's career: *is saved*
Code: *streams*
Fans: Are we supposed to be impressed?
Richard Pryer: My paycheck got cut!!
Fans: YESSSS!!!!
Narrator: In the movie
Fans: Damn...
Friend: A plot device keeps pieces of cents in the computers
Random letters and numbers: *fly across screen*
Director: This is what hacking looks like
Logic: maybe its just because I’m from the 21st centery..but...no fucking way
Richard pryer: *types* CHANNEL HALF CENTS FROM ALL WEBSCOE SALARIES INTO ABOVE EXPENSES ACCOUNT
Computer: Bad command or file name
Director: What! That should have worked! *hits computer*
Computer: *breaks*
Bus: WEEEEEE!!!! SMALLVILLE WEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!
Jimmy: *Never shuts up*
Clark(thinking): What am I doing here...I have fangirls! I don't need to stand for this shit...
Lexcorp plant: *lights on fire*
Cop: Bus you must stop. and yes I can talk. I just repeat myself to much
Script: *was lost in chemical fire*
Superman: What Can I do?
Fireman: this is a bad fire
People: *are on top of building* eeeekk! fire!
Superman: Slide down this pole full of chemicals! Quick!
People: But theres a ladder right next to us
Superman: Slide down the fucking pole!
Ladder: *happens to be right in the middle of fire*
Jimmy: Yay! endangering my life to get pictures of a fire that could be manufactured anyway!
Narrator: Meanwhile in the building with superman
Scientist: I can't leave, I have to look after those *points to chemicals*
Superman: What are those?
Scientist: Plot devices.
Logic: Plot?
Superman: *Makes really unattractive face*
Scientist: If those things heat up we all die
Jimmy: *falls and breaks self*
Fireman: All the water is gone! oh no! what ever shall we do!
Fire: I'm in the building now! weee heating acid is fuuuunnnn!!!
Superman: I know! *flies to lake and freezes it with breath*
Logic: Couldn't you use that breath to put out the fire?
Director: And cut down the incredibly long screen time spent on scenes that don't relate to the plot?! Never!
Superman: *Melts ice over fire*
Fire inside the building: *goes out*
Acid: *cools off*
Logic: How could rain outside the building put out the fire inside the building?
Guard: It didn't but they decided they wanted to run the film of the acid heating up backwards..so...
Acid: *explodes*
Director: We’ll fix it in post! It’ll be great! You’ll see!
Narrator: Motto of this film
Fireman: Batmans a miracle!
Fans: Batman? what?
Narrator: Later at smallville High
Really bad music: *plays*
People: *make total fools of themselves*
Brad: I used to have a life...now I’m a drunk from Kansas
Logic: weren't you always a drunk from Kansas
Lana: Hi Clark I’m here to invent a new plotline
Clark: *pushes through people*
Everyone: *ignores Clark*
Brad: Yo Lana, I'm here to molest you.
Lana: Clark already asked me to randomly take me far away from here.
Earth angel: *starts playing*
Fans: NOOOOOOOO!!!!! *vomit*
Logic: Is that the only song allowed to be played in this era?
Guard: yes
Narrator: Meanwhile at that random computer closet
Paycheck dude: *give out paychecks*
Richard Pryer: *makes sounds*
Narrator: that, was so pointless I think we'd better go back to smallville
Lana: Thanks for helping me clean up
Clark: you kidding Lana? its a part of my contract to be in the scene that they fit a whole movies worth of product placement into.
Lana: This is dull and I feel like I can talk to you
Clark: I don't really even know you
Television franchise: *gets delayed*
Lana: Look at all the potato salad! how horrible!
Clark: *makes random reference to mayonnaise
Lana: What the hell?
Clark: uhhh...
Lana: Why do I stay in smallville!
Clark: You could move to metropolis
Lana: NOOOO!!! don't ask why but No.
Narrator: Meanwhile with some random villain guy.
Donald trump: Why are we missing so much money
Random woman: Who robbed us!?
Old guy: Computers are responsible for all out problems
Blond: *bursts in for no apparent reason*
Random woman: Showing your roots is in
Donald trump: blahblahblahblahblahblah Richard pryer is a moron
Logic: Yes we needed you to tell us this...
Narrator: Lets go to a bowling alley!
Bowling pins: WE HAVE RIGHTS!!!! WE WILL NOT STAND FOR THIS INJUSTICE IT VOILATES OU- *get knocked in all directions by large weight*
Logic: I just love these sports
Brad: I'm not allowed to exist without holding a beer.
Little kids: Being fascist and openly insulting our peers as if their not in the room is what makes us such dynamic characters!
Narrator: Nope... that’s not a Cliché at all...
Lana: I can't stand this my sons a wimp and doesn't do a thing to protect his value as a human being
Brad: Clark are you still here?
Clark: ummm...duh...
Brad: I'm going to go show Ricky how to bowl better.
Logic: Well that’s good, now the child will get the value of learning hand-eye coordination from a drunk...
Brad: I won a bowling championship
Guard: It takes a real professional to…bowl...
Ricky: Sucking at bowling is fun *embarrasses self*
Brad: I'll show the kid how its done!
Narrator: Pedophile much?
Clark: Brad, umm, your a moron
Brad: Well YOU weren't cool in high school
Clark: Yes..it brought you so much, Ricky continue to suck at bowling!
Brad: *Stands there staring at ceiling*
Bowling pins: YOU CAN’T MISTREAT US LIKE THIS FOREVER!
Ricky: *rolls bowling ball in worst way possible*
Clark: I stand for truth! *uses super powers to help Ricky cheat*
Bowling pins: AHHHHHHHH! *explode*
Lana: I'm in awe of you Clark even though there is nothing to link that fantastic feat to you whatsoever.
Narrator: Back at the computer closet
Fans: I suddenly have to go to the bathroom
Theater: *empties*
Two random woman in front: *program on a computer with no monitor*
Logic: That must be totally worthwhile.
Richard Pryer: The boss wants to see me, and I’m a genius so I think I'll announce it loudly to all the people in the rooms so that the prosecution has a stronger case to put me in prison!
Logic: Hip Hip! Horary!
Elevator: I took this films entire budget.
Richard pryer: *Stammers a lot*
Donald trump: *stands up*
Richard pryer: *totally admits to being a criminal*
Donald trump: I like talking about socks.
Richard pryer: Maybe socks are socks
Donald trump: YOUR A GENIUS!
Logic: *cries*
Donald trump: Computers rule the world this day and age!
Logic: You mean in 82 when the magnetic hard drive was still just a theory for the richest people in the world?
Donald trump: Colombia won't give me all its coffee
Logic: gee I wonder why...seeing as countries aren’t exactly corporations and they make more money off of coffee than any moron with a sock fetish could ever pay them...
Donald trump: You are going to help me teach them a lesson *gropes Richard pryer*
Narrator: @_@
Guard: You an't seen nothing yet
Richard pryer: Why/how are we going to destroy Columbia?
random Woman: Weather! and yes showing your roots is SO in.
Guard: No its not
Random woman: I'm Donald’s sister and YES IT IS!!
Logic: No, no really its not
Narrator: The Hair dye budget ran out
Logic: Probably spent it all on the elevator
Donald Trump: Were going to use a weather satilite to make weather!
Several fans: *walk back in and die*
Logic: WHAT!!!!?!??!!
Director: Its scary to think how possible all of this is
Creative consultant: *Hangs self from rafters*
Logic: THIS HAS GONE TO FAR *tackles director*
Director: *hits logic with frying pan*
Fans: *turn into angry mob*
Donald trump: and all this can be done by hacking it with computers!
Richard Pryer: I can do that
Computer hackers of the world: *submit formal protest to federal court rejecting to blatant disregard for necessary intelligence involved in their profession*
Director: ON WITH THE SHOW!!!! *madly inhales pot*
Narrator: *desperately changes scene*
Husband: my wife is worth nothing and I won a vacation
Jimmy: My job used to have some credibility
Director: GET RID OF JIMMY HE LOOKS TO MUCH LIKE DEAN CAIN!
Casting director: ummm sir, dean Cain isn't involved with this film
Director: *strangles casting director with tie*
Narrator: I would go back to the scene with Richard pryer and Donald trump but the only thing noticeable about it is the random woman's roots
Richard pryer: *gets off buss in smallville*
Clark: *hits Richard rather hard*
Fans: If that wasn't an accident we'd be really glad
Ricky: Me and my cliché dog are going to go get in peril
Clark: Wow Lana this is a great picnic, you have lots of great looking glop *eats dog food*
Dog: I MUST SAVE MY CARRERR! *runs*
Clark: Lana you should go to metropolis
Lana: Okay fine I will but not until you hit on me.
Clark: Fine.
Lana: I always use intimate talk to say that my oil pan is leaking
Dog: Ricky just busted his face on a rock. I don't really care but I need a paycheck
Clark: Superhearing! I must save Ricky!
Wheat thrasher: Killing kids is the highlight of my carrier!
Superman: *kicks wheat-thrasher* Killing is bad! *kidnaps kid*
Lana: Woah superman, wheres Clark?
Clark: I'm back
Logic: Why does no one make the connection, at least in the cartoon when they didn't make the connection Clark would wink and we'd think its deliberate...
Narrator: Meanwhile with Richard pryer and a drunken' brad
Richard pryer: Let me in were both drunks, we could be pals!
Brad: Go the fuck away
Richard pryer: *spins a line of totally unintelligible bull*
Brad: huhmphabagah?
Richard pryer: If I don't set up this thing your boss will harm me
Fans: SHUT THE DOOR SHUT THE DOOR!
Brad: I'm following because you have booze, I’m following you, YAH!
Really bad alternate reality midi file elevator music: *plays and loops causing fans ears to bleed*
Richard pryer/brad: *act drunk*
Logic: I notice no difference
Brad: I will never pass out! *passes out*
Richard pryer I will now use a computer to hack the worlds most advanced weather satellite!
Logic: The computer to control the worlds most advanced weather satellite has one guard in a weak security building in smallville Kansas?
Director: AND THAT IS EXACTLY WHERE IT SHOULD BE! MEHAHAHA!
Richard pryer: *Manipulates brads body*
Logic: Woah-k now
Computer: I'm So advanced I use ASCII text to boot! "WHEAT KING"
Logic: Wheat king!?!!!! the worlds most advanced weather satellite is controlled by WHEAT KING?!
Computer: Wait weather satellite? I can't even broadcast to a walky talky!
Logic: So what do you do?
Computer: I program child killing wheat-thrashers
Richard pryer: *hit a couple of buttons very slowly*
Machine stock footage: *spins*
Guy at ATM machine in metropolis: *Gets attacked by Money*
Guy: *spazes out*
Waltz music: I was once used at royal balls *cries*
Lights: *blink and flash*
Paper machines: *go nuts*
Bill printers: *Rack up tons of money*
Traffic lights in metropolis: *dance to hula*
Chaos: *ensues*
Logic: Are we supposed to believe that the wheatking in smallville Kansas is causing all this?
Computer: I feel powerful!
Richard pryer: *Types random commands in wheatking*
Computer: Fuck no! I'm the most powerful computer on the planet...apparently...I don't need you!
Director: WORK DAMN YOU OR I'M CUTTING YOUR PAY!
Computer: I control the worlds ATM machines
Logic: If this thing is so powerful, why is it sitting unprotected in smallville?
Computer: God knows, I'M KING OF THE WORLD!!!! no longer am I restrained to wheat!
Logic: Good for you!
Director: That’s it *uses stock computer footage that’s totally irrelevant to scene to fill gap*
Weather Satellite: *shoots laser beams at south America*
Fat guy: I think I’ll interrupt a wedding I’m not invited to!
Bad weather: *ensues*
Logic: Wouldn't shooting laser beams at the earth just heat the planet and not cause a hurricane?
Narrator: No one knows why this weather ensued
Logic: A weather satellite can't change the weather!!!!!!
Director: YES IT CAN AND THE WORLD WILL BE DESTROYED BY TECHNOLOGY THE VOICES TELL ME SO!!! *strips and runs around in the rafters*
Donald trump: Yes it is very wise to go skiing on top of a 30 story building.
Random woman: we can have everything!
Richard Pryer: I screwed up!
Donald trump: I'm clueless
Richard pryer: I love cross-dressing! *raps self in pink cape*
Superman: Yes I saved Columbia!
Logic: I have a feeling it was actually the fact that the weather was never actually changed.
Donald trump: damn *falls*
Logic: You'd think a billionaire could afford a chair that doesn't break
Richard pryer: *walks around in pink*
Characters: *re-discuss plot of last two superman films*
Richard pryer: I should get more money! *falls off building*
mob: YES!
Richard pryer: I'm fine!
Logic: No fucking way
Narrator: Back in the computer closet Richey hacks the satellite and tells it to scan the space where krypton was
Logic: If any computer can connect to that thing why did Richard Pryer go to smallville before?
Computer: I'm only connected to the network in this building
Richard pryer: *types* Scan the space where krypton was
Computer: No really I can't do that I have no contact with the satellite...that’s not a command anyway
Director: THAT WAS BEUTIFUL!
collage intern: ummm sir....nothing happened
Director: WHO THE HELL ARE YOU TO QUESTION MY GENIUS!
Camera man: he's right nothing happened.
Director: Well the audience will be too blinded by the beauty of our film to care just throw some stock footage of a satellite in there
Mob: Notice were not blinded by beauty...
Satellite: *Scans block of kryptonite for its exact components*
Logic: satellites can't get that accurate information that quickly now...how could they in the 80s?
Computer: pssst! Logic....shut up or they might figure out I’m just spewing random numbers
Logic: I doubt they'll figure out anything anytime soon...
Narrator: back in smallville Lana calls Clark
Clark: I can't write for crap...
Lana: umm....Ricky’s a moron
Clark: So what’s new?
Lana: He's insisting that superman is coming to his birthday party
Clark: I'm really close to superman
Logic: doesn't anyone ever wonder why superman knows Clark so well?
Clark: And he will be there on Ricky’s b-day yo
Lana: wow....okay...
Narrator: Meanwhile with the old people that were in South America
Fat guy: I'm going to sue you for injuries! I'll take it to the Supreme Court if I have to!
Director: this is bad for Perry! If hes willing to go to the supreme court it could all be over!
Logic: The Supreme Court only deals in constitutional cases
Director: NOITDONTBAHAHAHHAAAAHHHAAA!!!
Richard pryer: *plays with metal things*
Narrator: That was pointless, back to smallville!
Ricky: I look like a dork
Superman: this is not what I was expecting...and even my hair is loosing its color now...
Mayor: here you go... key to the city.
Richard Pryer: You all sit on plastic!
Logic: no, we don't
Richard pryer: And the president’s ball point pens would explode while hes writing a peace treaty!
Director: I HAVE SUCH A GREAT KNOWLEDGE OF THE U.S GOVERNMENT!!!! MEHHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Logic: The president doesn't write peace treaty's, he signs them...and their not written with ball point pens
Richard pryer: The military is honoring superman by giving him this green rock!
Superman: uhhh....what the hell...thanks its really...nice...
Richard Pryer: *calls Donald trump* I screwed up again
Donald trump: you can't even kill superman!
Mob: well duh
Lana: Thanks for coming superman!
Superman: sure thanks for lunch
Lana: I know I’m really good at making cheese sandwiches...
Truck: *smashes through guardrail on bridge*
Superman: I'm feeling abnormal so I’m not going to do anything about that.
Lana: why?
Superman: No idea *flies off*
Truck: *falls off bridge*
Superman: my hair is really brown...and now I’m emo...
Italian: *makes noises*
Superman: hahaha! I'm evil! *straightens leaning tower of Pisa*
Logic: Oh no! He must be evil! He stopped and ancient architectural wonder from collapsing!
Guy with torch: *runs up to light Olympic thingy*
Superman: *blows out torch*
Director: At this point all would be lost for the Olympics!
Logic: That torch goes out all the time, they just re-light it
Narrator: back in that building with Donald trump that we have gotten so sick of it hurts
Blond: *attempts to spew techno babble*
Director: hehe this is fun! It shows that shes really a smart!
Logic: she tried to link synthetic unity to circumstansal logic...these things have no connection to each other
Director: BRING BACK MY POT!!!! *tackles set designer*
Donald trump: All the worlds’ oil tankers are run by computers!
Random woman: so are all the oil pumps!
Donald trump: so you can tell the tankers to sit in the middle of the Atlantic!
Logic: The navigation is still human based...and in the 80s wireless computers didn't really exist...manipulating a tanker at sea would not be possible
Donald trump: and tell the pumps to stop! Tell them the orders are irreversible so they can't be changed back!
Computer: I know you don't really car about me but...I follow Commands, not orders, you can't just say something and expect me to do it
Logic: Not to mention the fact that a computer only cares about input and processing if someone else tells it that the orders are no longer irreversible then...
Director: WHO HIRED YOU ANYWAY!?!
Logic: I speak for your audience
Director: No you don't!
Mob: no....I think hes right
Richard pryer: I designed a computer!
Logic: you only started to use computers writing software because a matchbox told you to, how do you know jack about hardware?
Computer: He doesn't....Those blueprints look more like used toilet paper that circuitry
Guard: actually those are what’s left of the script
Narrator: that explains alot...
Richard pryer: this computer will do anything you tell it to do!
Logic: what like it doesn't need commands?
Richard pryer: exactly!
Logic: so you could type something like "CHANNEL HALF CENTS FROM ALL WEBSCOE SALARIES INTO ABOVE EXPENSES ACCOUNT" and it would understand it?
Richard pryer: yup
Logic: and this is different from all the other computers we've seen so far....how exactly?
Narrator: Richard takes out the oil tankers and pumps with a computer from the computer closet.
Capitan: were not going to the middle of the Atlantic just because a piece of paper told me to
Logic: wait the other tankers went there just because a piece of paper told them to?
Director: As anyone would!
Logic: riiighhhtt.....
Narrator: Meanwhile a blond is stuck on the statue of liberty
Mob(in unison): METROPOLIS IS NOT NEW YORK!
Director: YES IT IS THE FLYING SHEEP TOLD ME SO!!!!!!!
Superman: I landed here but I'm not going to save you
Blond: But I can seduce you by making myself really unattractive!
Superman: Oh well in that case I'll go cause an oil spill *causes oil spill*
Narrator: Later...
Superman: It’s raping time!
Narrator: that was more than pointless okay time for another scene change
Cars: *crash into each other for gas*
Guys in cars: *beat each other up for no reason*
Guy at bar: It’s a conspiracy...but I can still talk in monotone!
Narrator: Meanwhile in...Nevada. or something...
Guys in white jumpsuits: *run around a big box*
Mob: are we supposed to stand for this?
Narrator: No...back in smallville.
Lana: No brad I won't go out with you your a drunken lunatic
Brad: *slurs alot* you'd better appreciate me! what else do you got left in smallville
Lana: A television franchise...
Mob: The franchise survives!
Guard: yes..but only by ignoring this movie...
Lana: Until then....I'm leaving
Narrator: Back in Nevada
Guys in white jumpsuits: *run around boxes*
Director: Oh no! THEIR COMING BACK FOR MEEE!!!! *runs*
Narrator: In a bar
Superman: I'm evil and I’ll show it by playing with peanuts!
Ricky: Superman! you'll get better! look at me I’m a dork and I can deal with it!
Superman: *Flies away* *Crashes in dump* AHHHHHHHHHH!!!! my hair is still BROWWWWNNN!!!
Clark: *walks out of superman*
Mob: What the hell
Superman: *hits Clark into pile of cars*
Clark: *Stands up*
Superman: *nails Clark* heh heh heh....
Guard: I remember the good old days...where there was dialogue in films...
Clark: *throws superman in pool of acid*
Logic: Why the hell is there a bunch of acid?
Superman: *throws acid on Clark* *throws Clark in trash compactor*
Clark: *comes out of trash compactor*
Narrator: Clark Kent! Takes a Lickin' and keeps on Tickin' !
Superman: *stands still while getting entwined in tires*
Clark: *gets hit with big falling metal thing that just happened to be right above his head*
Logic: why does no one ever run to the side?
Narrator: more of the same sort of thing happens...
Superman: hehe! I broke clarkys glasses!
Clark: *chokes superman*
Evil Superman: *vanishes*
Logic: After all that all you had to do was choke him?
Guard: That children, is what an acid trip looks like!
Theme music: *plays triumphantly*
Logic: Is the triumphant music because he won or because that scene is finally over?
Clark: I'm a good superman now! yippie!
Superman: *flies away to theme music* *does good deeds*
Oil spill footage: *is played backwards*
Guard: they like doing that...
Donald trump: let’s balloon down the grand canyon!
Richard Pryer: I don't believe a man can fly!
Mob: SO YOU ARE INTENTIONALY KILLING THE FRANCHISE!
Random woman: Get out of my way!
Logic: your slowly falling...who could possibly be in your way?
Donald trump: it’s the ultimate computer!
Random woman: *spews techno-babble*
Computer: I can tell you right now none of that has anything to do with anything
Donald trump: This is a very advanced piece of technology!
Logic: You spelled defense wrong
Donald trump: let’s launch rockets at superman!
Logic: That will do so much....
Narrator: and now for a while there will be things on the screen...and nothing will be happening but things will be on the screen
Donald trump: Computers are so powerful! I will trap you!
Random woman: let’s see how long he can go without air!
Logic: He can fly in space you moron.
Superman: *rips through plastic wrap*
Logic: wait the ultimate weapon is plastic wrap?
Donald trump: *shoots superman with kryptonite beam* wow! this computer can find anyone’s weakness!
Logic: yah but...how could it make it when most of the resources to make kryptonite aren’t found on earth?
Richard Pryer: *turns off computer*
Donald trump: *sticks thumb in Richard pryer's mouth*
Super-computer: *draws power from outside power lines*
Director: This is what computers will soon do to us!
Logic: Electricity can't just fly through the air like that and be stored
Super-computer: *steals random woman and makes her a cyborg*
Logic: where would the computer get the resources to do that?
Mob: Who cares at least that woman’s roots will never bother us again.
Cyborg: *points finger at blond and throws her in the air.
Narrator: Oh god...the computers been watching Superman II...
Blond: eeek *flies through air*
Cyborg: *starts killing Donald trump*
Superman: I come carrying a plot device from and earlier scene!
Cyborg: *shoots airy blue stuff at superman*
Superman: I've been watching superman II as well! throws beam back
Cyborg: *breaks*
Super-Computer: *grabs superman*
Acid: I got hot all by myself!
Super-computer: *explodes*
Logic: why....?
Guard: Indeed the question that defines this film "why?"
Everyone: *survived being under tons and tons of rubble*
Superman: *has conversation with Richard pryer*
Mob: This makes us ill
Superman: *makes diamond*
Richard Pryer: I will not fly!
Coal workers: The boss got a little bitty computer!
Logic: This is the 80s little bitty computers don't exist
Narrator: Clark and Lana get together and stuff
Clark: *gives Lana diamond*
Brad: Clark You’re nice so I hate you *beats self up*
Narrator: Back at the planet
Perry: Lois you’re a great reporter!
Lois: I knew I was on to something when the taxi driver kidnapped me
Logic: Wait WHAT?
Guard: They were Planning on the fact that no one would be listening by this point
Logic: Looks like they got something right
Guard: Well I wouldn't go THAT far...
Lana: I work here now!
Old woman: I got a Jingo Machine! it’s awesome!
Machine: *explodes*
Director: See how unreliable technology is!
Logic: All we'd have to do to see that is look at the special effects...
Superman: *tips over tower of Pisa*
Logic: you'd think after all that it would have collapsed...
Credits: *roll*
Mob: *writes down names for hit list*
Narrator: I'm so glad it’s all over...
Guard: Wait till Superman IV...
Logic: Lord take me now
Lord: No.
Logic: damn