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| Your know-it-all sister is getting on your last nerve and your shrink is on vacation, but you need advice NOW!! Never fret! Ask Miss Thang for some advice! She is quick witted and fun, and now and then, she might even come back with good advice! Click here to your questions! |
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| ASKING HER OUT IF IT'S LOVE - Call at least four days in advance, requesting the pleasure of her company. IF IT'S LUST - Call her at least 20 minutes in advance, and ask, "Can I come over?" DRESSING FOR THE EVENING IF IT'S LOVE - Maximize class factor. Channel Audrey Hepburn. IF IT'S LUST - Maximize jiggle factor. Channel Pamela Anderson. EATING IN IF IT'S LOVE - Cook most the meal yourself, but invite your partner to join you for the finishing touches, to give a sense of partnership. This meal should convey the idea that loving domesticity can be a feast for the senses. Choose a homey yet delicious menu, such as roast chicken or rack of lamb. Drizzle truffle oil over mashed potatoes, transforming this ordinary dish into a veritable bowl of luxuriousness. IF IT'S LUST - Prepare appetizers before your guest arrives: finger food, nothing fancy. Keep the lighting low. The idea is that she may nibble, but YOU are the main course. EATING OUT IF IT'S LOVE - Choose a restaurant based on romantic potential: soft lighting, somewhat quiet ambiance, a menu rooted in the Romance Languages: French, Spanish, Italian. IF IT'S LUST - Choose a restaurant where you can order over-rich foods&emdash;oysters, foie gras, chocolate mousse&emdash;that spoil quickly, implying that this is a one-time opportunity, and there's no chance of a repeat performance. WHEN THE BILL ARRIVES IF IT'S LOVE - Discreetly take it as soon as it arrives, and don't allow her to see it. Decline her offer to split it with you. After all, her company is payment enough. IF IT'S LUST - Look at the bill. Then look at her. Say, "So. Are you coming over?" |
| Love or Lust 10 things to do on a Saturday Night |
| GOING TO THE MOVIES IF IT'S LOVE - Ask him if there's anything he'd like to see. After all, how bad can Samurai Tomb Destroyer 4 really be? IF IT'S LUST - Choose something boring. Sit in the back row. RENTING A VIDEO IF IT'S LOVE - Go for a popular drama, comedy, or foreign film. IF IT'S LUST - Reach for the box labeled, "Terms of Endearment." But make sure you've switched the video inside with the adult title, "Terms of Endowment." Once you've turned it on, feign surprise, then say, "Well, we might as well watch this one." GOING TO A PARTY IF IT'S LOVE - Tell her she's the most beautiful woman in the room. Then take her up on the roof or into the garden to look at the stars. Kiss her on the lips. IF IT'S LUST - Tell her she's the hottest babe in the room. Then take her into the bathroom. Kiss her everywhere but the lips. THROWING YOUR OWN PARTY IF IT'S LOVE - Proudly introduce him to everyone as "Michael, my boyfriend." Don't invite ex-boyfriends unless they're truly good friends with no ulterior motives. IF IT'S LUST - Just say, "This is Michael." Look uncomfortable. Make sure you invited as many of your exes as you could. If it doesn't work out with Michael, maybe you'll get lucky with one of them. CULTURAL EVENTS IF IT'S LOVE - Surprise with box seats at the opera. Offer to buy her the libretto. IF IT'S LUST - Surprise her with seats at a strip club. Offer to buy her a lap dance. |
| Fresh Flirts 10. Flirting is an attitude: A good flirt is self-confident and not afraid to take risks. Be enthusiastic and positive, it works! 9. Start a conversation: The best opening line is saying hello. Talk about the surroundings, ask a question, ask for help, state an opinion. 8. Have fun: Be playful, light-hearted and spontaneous. Show your vulnerability. 7. Use props: Never leave home without a prop. Props are natural conversation starters. They encourage conversation and others will be compelled to start talking to you. Great props include: dogs, kids, unusual jewelry, a fabulous scent, a sweatshirt with your favorite passion, interesting ties, hats, or an interesting book or newspaper. 6. Be the host: Change your behavior from the role of guest to host. You are not the passive person in waiting, but rather the welcome committee. 5. Make the first move: Move closer to the person you want to meet. Say hello! 4. Listen: You have two ears and one mouth because you should listen twice as much as you speak. Listening is a true art. Your flirting partner will be drawn to you. Everyone loves to be heard. 3. Eye contact: Make eye contact, but please look your partner in the eye gently (no more than 2-4 seconds) and then glance away. Don’t stare – it’s a turn off. |
| THE TRUTH ABOUT CATS AND DOGS - What animals can teach us about relationships by Coco Helado An English artist from the early part of the century, Louis Wain, used to create pictures of cats engaged in a variety of human-like pursuits. One painting would show several of them wearing top hats and playing a game of cards; another would depict kitties attired in summery dresses, as though preparing for a Sunday afternoon picnic. Louis Wain eventually became quite mad, and his works became increasingly bizarre. His felines took on wild-eyed, maniacal expressions, and had vivid colors and patterns emanating from their heads, like rock stars in psychedelic-era concert posters. The artist eventually died in a lunatic asylum, proving that anthropomorphizing our pets is a dangerous pastime indeed. Animals don't-and shouldn't-possess human qualities; instead it is us who ought to try to become more like our pets. Yes, in the scheme of things, cats and dogs get little respect. On the rare occasion that we humans do acknowledge our animal natures, the animal in question usually winds up with little respect, as proven by a rundown of the pejorative terms we use: "Dumb animal." "Brute." "Bitch." "Dog." "Catty." But most people fail to realize that our relationships with one another would be much improved if we would only behave a little more like cats and dogs! Cats and dogs can be wonderful teachers, especially with regard to relationships. For instance, women often complain to one another, "Men are dogs." If only we were so lucky! Ladies, we should pray that our men become as loyal and selfless as canines. Do not malign this noble animal with a negative comparison to your man. Instead, encourage men to embody dog-like qualities. To start with, dogs are honest. They don't hide their feelings. They don't voice "harmless" little lies or tell us they've been somewhere when they haven't. We don't expect dogs to remember our birthdays and anniversaries because we know from the start that they are simply incapable of doing so. But we also know that whenever there is a celebration, they will enthusiastically join in the fun. And if ever they do something wrong-and they will-they look guilty and beg desperately for our forgiveness with such sad sweet eyes we are compelled to reach down and give them a pat on the head. One cannot hold a grudge against a dog. But perhaps the most marvelous characteristic of dogs is that they absolutely live to serve their mistresses. Nothing makes them happier than making you happy. They are eternally loyal, and their lives are given meaning by ministering to others. In fact, dogs make us remember what it is to be simply, perfectly happy. They charm and enchant us, lifting our spirits effortlessly. Walk down the street with a dog and the most dour faces light up instantly. Even a few minutes spent playing with a dog removes us from our hectic routines and burdensome responsibilities and into a world of joy, inspiring us to play like children-without regard to the adult world's cutthroat rules and competitiveness. Yes indeed-they say that dogs are "man's best friend," but really, they are women's! Men, for their part, dismissively refer to women as "felines" and deplore what they term "catty behavior." A woman who succeeds in a corporation is sometimes said to have "clawed her way to the top." And then, of course, there's that problematic term, "pussy," sometimes used affectionately, but frequently deployed as slur. But men should hold up cats as their feminine ideal. Consider the facts: Men often complain that women can be nagging and emotionally pushy. But cats are nothing if not sensitive to emotional and physical boundaries. They have the most carefully attuned sense of balance in all things, making them the perfect household companions. And cats have a certain keen intelligence that causes you to feel they are one step ahead of you at every turn. Cats have a marvelous sense of discretion. They endure the company of others until it is boring, and not one second longer. It's not that they're snobbish, but they make no bones about how they really feel. One could never imagine a cat faking...anything! Cats are never unpleasant, merely, at times, uninterested. And why not? They don't suffer fools gladly, preferring their own serene company to second-class companionship and clumsy attempts at affection. They are supremely secure beings who teach us that striving for a little bit of solitude is natural and desirable. From a cat one learns grace, silence, and contentment. When stroke a purring cat you nearly begin to purr yourself! In fact, cats are incredibly tactile and sensual. Rub a cat the right way and she will truly appreciate your touch, stretching out and smiling to show her pleasure. So here it is: the truth about cats and dogs. If we really did behave like them, perhaps the relations between the sexes would be a lot smoother. While the word on the street is that cats and dogs don't get along, anyone who has ever lived with both knows it isn't always the case. Cats and dogs can make the most charming companions. Perhaps there is no sight sweeter than that of the canine and feline sleeping together with a tender, quiet affection. How to learn the wise ways of animals? Have a pet! After all, both having pets and having a partner offer similar benefits. Studies show that people in either situation tend to live longer, healthier lives. They keep us active and give us a sense of pride. We want to walk around with them and show them off! So the next time someone looks at you with disdain and says, "You're an animal," bow your head modestly and reply, "Well, I try." |
| *body language *attire *physical characteristics *smile/facial features *handshake *grooming |
| MAKING A GOOD FIRST IMPRESSION - by Trish McDermott There are no second chances at making a spectacular first impression. Those first few seconds of contact become a benchmark for every subsequent impression you make. We are a world in a hurry, an accelerated pace keeps us competitive, instant assumptions often lead to immediate decisions to accept or reject a job, a deal, or even a potential lover. In romance many of us, especially anyone who has been around the block, take a WYSIWYG (what you see is what you get) approach. Why second-guess the obvious? In just under ten seconds, enough time to read the first few lines of an email, glance at a profile or extend your hand and offer a friendly "hello," someone is forming a first and lasting impression of you. Is it a good one? First face-to-face encounters can be awkward or even shocking, regardless of the positive feelings you already have for each other. You make your best real-world first impression by being calmly and confidentially yourself. Try to enjoy the nervous energy you are feeling. Have fun. Remember to smile. People are perceived as more attractive when they are having a good time. Your date will form an immediate first (physical) impression of you, usually in under ten seconds, based on some combination of these attributes: |
| *posture *walk *scent/perfume *eye contact *perceived confidence *perceived comfortableness |
| Inside Information On Positive And Negative Impressions Several hundred single men and women attending dating and flirting classes were asked to list the attributes they find attractive and unattractive in a potential partner. Below is a list of the most frequent responses. Although many of these attributes may not be immediately apparent, most will show up sometime during a first date. |
| Attributes Leading To A Positive Impression: |
| 2. Compliment: Compliment your flirting partner. The best compliments have the element of surprise. The “flirtee” will know that you really noticed them. Remember, your compliments must be honest, sincere and genuine. When you receive a compliment the best response is merely, Thank You! 1. Smile: It is contagious. It will make you so much more approachable. A smile lights up your face and draws people to you. You will be a people magnet. Try it! |
| *warmth *sense of humor *imagination *confidence *success *fitness |
| *individuality *body language *conversational ability *aspiration *power *creativity *kindness |
| Attributes Leading To A Negative Impression: |
| *self-centered *closed minded and judgmental *lack of manners *poor conversational ability *negative life attitude *lack of education *immature *indecisive/without an opinion |
| *lack of integrity *war stories from past relationships *whining and complaining *shallowness *only interested in sex *power games and manipulation *materialistic |
| Remember, there are no do-overs when it comes to first impressions, yet many of us fail to put our best foot forward during early romantic encounters. We want to be loved for who we are and are leery to "package" ourselves in any way. This is understandable, but not always realistic. Dating is a numbers game and, like it or not, dating occurs in a competitive environment. The next positive, first romantic impression you make may turn into life-long love--not a bad return on a relatively minor investment. |
| HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHO TO MARRY? You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming. Alan, age 10 No person really decides before they grow up who they're going to marry. God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later who you're stuck with. Kirsten, age 10 WHAT IS THE RIGHT AGE TO GET MARRIED? Twenty-three is the best age because you know the person FOREVER by then. Camille, age 10 No age is good to get married at. You got to be a fool to get married. Freddie, age 6 (Very wise for his age) HOW CAN A STRANGER TELL IF TWO PEOPLE ARE MARRIED? You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids. Derrick, age 8 WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR MOM AND DAD HAVE IN COMMON? Both don't want any more kids. Lori, age 8 WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE? Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough. Lynnette, age 8 (Isn't she a treasure) On the first date, they just tell each other lies and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date. Martin, age 10 WHAT WOULD YOU DO ON A FIRST DATE THAT WAS TURNING SOUR? I'd run home and play dead. The next day I would call all the newspapers and make sure they wrote about me in all the dead columns. Craig, age 9 WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE? When they're rich. Pam, age 7 The law says you have to be eighteen, so I wouldn't want to mess with that. Curt, age 7 The rule goes like this: If you kiss someone, then you should marry them and have kids with them. It's the right thing to do. Howard, age 8 IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED? I don't know which is better, but I'll tell you one thing. I'm never going to have sex with my wife. I don't want to be all grossed out. Theodore, age 8 It's better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need someone to clean up after them. Anita, age 9 (Bless you child) HOW WOULD THE WORLD BE DIFFERENT IF PEOPLE DIDN'T GET MARRIED? There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn't there? Kelvin, age 8 "And the #1 Favorite is........" HOW WOULD YOU MAKE A MARRIAGE WORK? Tell your wife that she looks pretty even if she looks like a truck. Ricky, age 10 |
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