MJ:"Hello there fans and welcome to
Monday Night Mayhem!"
(Once again fireworks shoot from the ringposts and explode above the ring.)
MJ:"We are live here from the Pete Maravich Assembly Center in Baton Rouge, Louisiana! Our first night back last Monday was a huge success and we're back again to bring more USCW action."
Backwater:"Last week was intriguing indeed and I expect this week to be no different."
MJ:" Fans, tonight we will be seeing action from the other four USCW superstars who will compete in an eight man tournament to crown a new USCW Heavyweight Champion. They have some work to do to be as impressive as some of our competitors from last week. What do you think Earl?"
Backwater:"No doubt about it. Sniper is the man as far as I'm concerned. The others I could do without. Especially now that it appears Sniper will have extra motivation going into this tournament based on the fact he's fighting as a tribute to two fallen friends, former USCW superstars Assassin and Mercenary."
MJ:"That could also be a distraction to him getting the gold. We'll have to see how it plays out. Speaking of distractions, we also heard in the last week that Smackin' Sweardog McKrackin may be distracted from this tournament. He issued a somber statement earlier this week saying he was considering retirement. What did you make of that?"
Backwater:"I think maybe he is finally listening to good advice. Get out while you can Sweardog. Maybe then you wouldn't embarass yourself in the tournament."
MJ:"Why do I even ask you? Fans, I'm getting word from the back that USCW interviewer Paul Sandler has caught up with one of our stars who has a match tonight. Paul."
(The scene switches to backstage as Sandler stands next to Captain Caveman.)
PS:"Thanks MJ. I'm here with USCW newcomer Captain Caveman. He stopped me earlier and expressed a desire to be interviewed tonight. What is on your mind?"
(Captain Caveman jerks and looks around like something is on his head.)
PS:"No, I mean what do you want to say?"
CC:"Captain Caveman get new toy. Captain Caveman kill many things. Captain Caveman impress Jane with toy. That good. Not know where toy come from. Who gave toy is friend to Captain Caveman. Oh, and Captain Caveman will hurt Milkman bad."
(Captain Caveman races off.)
PS:"Well, there you have it fellas. Whatever it is. Back to you."
MJ:"Thanks Paul. It certainly has been an interesting drama so far surrounding Captiain Caveman, Apollo, and Sniper. Fans, we are ready to get things going. Up first is one of the men we just mentioned. He is quickly making an impression on USCW fans. Let's take it down to Cindy for the official introductions.
CM:"The following contest is set for one fall. Introducing first, already in the ring, weighing in at 225 pounds, Hans Friegen!"
(Friegen pulls on the ropes to warm up.)
CM:"And his opponent, weighing in at 220 pounds, Apollo!"
("Chariots Of Fire" starts to play through the arena speakers as Apollo emerges at the top of the ramp driving a chariot of gold drawn by two white horses. On the jumbotron behind him the video of a giant sun rising starts to play. He steps down from the chariot and hands the reigns to a USCW assistant before making his way to the ring. He is wearing a white toga with a crown of leaves around his head.)
MJ:"Still no one knows quite what to make of this man. Most people are booing but I think some people are really liking this greek god turned wrestler."
Backwater:"I have been entertained by his comments and actions thus far. We'll have to see what he can do in the ring now."
MJ:"Apollo has removed his crown of leaves now and is ready to wrestle. I have to say, I have never seen anyone wrestle in a toga. That should be interesting. The bell has rung now and here we go. The two men circle each other and now they lock up. Apollo overpowers Friegen and whips him into the ropes. Friegen bounces back and Apollo floors him with a powerful clothesline!"
Backwater:"A nice move by Apollo. He showed a lot of power with that."
MJ:"It doesn't look like Apollo is going to waste any time with Friegen. He is locking up his legs in a figure four type move and is tweaking Friegen's achilles tendon with his knuckles. That's the Achilles Heel! Friegen taps out!"
CM:"Your winner, via submission, Apollo!"
MJ:"Apollo earns the submission victory and is looking good heading into the world title tournament."
("Hell's Bells" by AC/DC starts to blare over the arena speakers. Out onto the ramp steps a large figure dressed all in black. He has two spikes of hair in the front that look like horns and he has a goatee in the shape of a trident. From behind him walks a stunning woman with dark black hair. He stares ominously at the crowd before making his way to the ring and stepping over the top rope.)
MJ:"That might be the scariest man I've ever seen."
Backwater:"Jesus, is that a puddle underneath your chair MJ? And forget him, who's the chick?"
MJ:"Funny. I've only heard about them before and never seen them but that has to be new USCW signee Hades and his escort Persephone. Wow, the bossman of the underworld himself. And he certainly looks like he could keep things in line down there."
Backwater:"I wonder what business he has with Apollo?"
MJ:"They are grabbing a microphone so let's find out."
Apollo:"Recently Apollo was approached with a proposition. My uncle, Hades, decided that running the Underworld was growing boring, and that he will join me in the USCW. Remember this moment mortals. This is the moment the most powerful force in wrestling history was formed. Apollo and Hades are now, the Immortals! And with my uncle by my side, Apollo will reclaim Aphrodite and Apollo wil......."
(Suddenly, the lights in the arena go out. The jumbotron above the ramp flashes on to show the face of Sweardog McCrackin. The crowd cheers as he begins to speak.)
Sweardog:"You know, I had real doubts about this league. I thought, "I've never taken the championship belt in all these years. I have been passive in my efforts." I thought that is was time to hang up the tailored pants I wear to the ring for good."
(The crowd boos that idea and shows it's dissaproval.)
Sweardog:"But I see these newcomers into the USCW and feel as though some strangers are entering my house. And I don't like strangers in my house, especially making a big ruckus. Only one thing is worthy of a big ruckus.....
(Pyrotechnics explode in the arena as McKrackin's voice raises and bellows throughout the arena.)
Sweardog:"And thats a mudhole stomped in your asses!! Seeing your interviews I know it is about time to put the kiddies to bed. So, "Immortals", welcome to the USCW!"
(The lights come back on and Sweardog is ringside with a firehose. He turns it on full blast and starts to douse Apollo and Hades in the ring. They scramble to get out of the stream as Sweardog laughs at ringside. After getting them soaked, Sweardog cuts it off and plays to the crowd as he heads back up the ramp to the back.)
MJ:"Sweardog with a welcome to the Immortals. And look at his shirt! It says "Earl Backwater is a p*%#y"."
Backwater:"I guess you are what you ea....."
MJ:"That's enough from you. Well, as Apollo and Hades make there way to the back, looking none too happy I might add, and USCW assisstants dry the ring with towels, what do you think of Apollo's chances in this tournament?"
Backwater:"I'm not sold on this guy as of yet, but he is starting to grow on me. And any enemy of Sweardog is a friend of mine. He might make some noise in the tournament."
MJ:"Well, our next fighter made some noise of his own last week. Let's take a look at the footage."
(A clip rolls of The Big Shot coming down to ringside and distracting Cruel, causing him to get rolled up by Mr. Wrestling for a loss.)
MJ:"Well, he certainly made an impact last week. Now The Big Shot makes his in ring debut. Let's take it down to Cindy."
CM:"The following contest is set for one fall. Introducing first, already in the ring, weighing in at 210lbs, Tsuyoshi Sakuraba!"
(Sakuraba works through a series of kicks and punches and yells loudly at the end.)
CM:"And his opponent, weighing in at 225lbs., The Big Shot!"
("Break Stuff" by Limp Bizkit cranks up as The Big Shot sprints down to the ring and slides in.)
MJ:"This youngster certainly has an abundance of energy and enthusiasm. You can tell he is fired up and ready to go in this one."
Backwater:"If he needs to get fired up to wrestle Sakuraba, he's in for a short career in the USCW."
MJ:"My guess is that Sakuraba is in for a short fight. Woah! And that may indeed be the case! As soon as the bell rang, The Big Shot sprinted across the ring and speared Sakuraba!"
Backwater:"He lifted him 3 feet off the mat before slamming him back down."
MJ:"The Big Shot is back up now and he is climbing to the top rope. He leaps and turns a backflip in the air before crashing down onto Sakuraba! He calls that move The Final Warning! That's usually a prelude to the Shot Bottom!"
Backwater:"But not this time. Just as he promised before The Big Shot is locking Sakuraba in a Sharpshooter. And Sakuraba taps out!"
CM:"Your winner, via submission, The Big Shot!"
MJ:"The Big Shot comes away with a victory here in his USCW debut. What do you think of this youngsters chances in the tournament for the world title?"
Backwater:"He's a pretty good athlete, but I just don't think he has the experience he would need to navigate this tournament."
MJ:"But that is what is so exciting about this tournament. You never know what might happen. Two matches down, and two matches still to go here tonight on Mayhem. Let's take it down to Cindy for the debut match of another wrestler who has been very busy in his short time here in the USCW."
CM:"The following contest is set for one fall. Introducing first, already in the ring, weighing in at 300lbs., Milkjug Mahoney!"
(Milkjug yells out "Gitter Dun!" to the crowd and pulls on the straps of his overalls.)
CM:"And his opponent, weighing in at 250lbs., Captain Caveman!"
(Congo drums start to play and random dinosaur sounds echo through the arena. Captain Caveman leaps out onto the ramp from the back. With him is Aphrodite. She is dressed in old skins and her hands are tied together with what appears to be some old vines. He walks her down to the ring and uses some more vines to lash her to his corner before he hops into the ring.)
MJ:"Well, I wondered how this would go down. As everyone who saw the show last week knows Captain Caveman kidnapped Aphrodite last week at the conclusion of the show. Now he brings her down to the ring. Apollo had a match earlier tonight. I wonder if he is still in the back?"
Backwater:"Something tells me if he is we will find out soon."
MJ:"The bell has rung and we are ready to go here. The two men circle each other and Captain Caveman takes control with a big running headbutt that floors Milkjug!"
Backwater:"Here's our answer MJ! Here comes Apollo right now!"
MJ:"He is sprinting down the ramp to ringside. Aphrodite is lashed to the farside ringpost and Apollo just ran past our broadcast location and around to the far side of the ring to get to where she is. Meanwhile in the ring, Captain Caveman is in total control of Milkjug Mahoney. He is peppering him with a viscious series of various types of headbutts. He is oblivious to what is going on outside the ring."
Backwater:"Apollo has almost reached Aphrodite now and......Woah! He just dissapeared from our sight!"
MJ:"He must have fallen on the far side of the ring. We need a camera over there!"
(The scene shifts to show Apollo rolling around on the ground holding his head.)
MJ:"What happened? We didn't get a good look from our angle. Meanwhile in the ring, Captain Caveman has just nailed Milkjug with the Caveman Clothesline and is climbling to the top rope."
Backwater:"But look at ringside! Sniper just emerged from under the ring! And he is carrying a large Bowie knife! He glances down at Apollo and sneers before walking towards Aphrodite!"
MJ:"Captain Caveman just nailed the Dino Drop on Mahoney. Here's the cover!"
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2
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3!!!"
CM:"Your winner, via pinfall, Captain Caveman!"
MJ:"Sniper looked Aphrodite over for a second but then he just leaves the Bowie knife by the ringpost before dissapearing into the crowd. He left Captain Caveman a knife?"
Backwater:"Well, we saw earlier where he introduced Captain Caveman to a spear. I guess he is trying to slowly upgrade his weaponry."
MJ:"The caveman is quickly over to his corner now and spots the knife. He stares at it for a second before touching it with his other hand and drawing the hand back in pain. Captain Caveman sees now that Apollo is starting to get to his feet at ringside. He quickly uses the knife to cut the vines holding Aphrodite to the ringpost and grabs her and starts sprinting back up the ramp."
Backwater:"Apollo is back up now and furious! He sees the other two running towards the back and takes off after them!"
MJ:"What a wild series of events. Captain Caveman picks up the victory and keeps Aphrodite with what appeared to be help from Sniper. I'm being told now we have a camera that captured the action on the far side of the ring."
(Clip rolls of Apollo running around the side of the ring and an arm coming out from under the ring to grab his leg, causing him to trip and land headfirst on the concrete outside the ring.)
MJ:"So it was Sniper! I don't know why he has decided to get involved in this feud between Apollo and Captain Caveman but he is certainly keeping everyone on their toes."
Backwater:"And Apollo can't seem to catch a break tonight. Doused with water by Sweardog, then jumped by Sniper."
MJ:"Well fans, we have one match left tonight. It's the debut of the final wrestler of the eight that will appear in the tournament for the title. Let's take it down to Cindy and get this one started."
CM:"The following contest is set for one fall. Introducing first, already in the ring, weighing in at 240lbs., Mr. Wrestling!"
(Mr. Wrestling pumps his fist to the crowd.)
CM:"And his opponent, weighing in at 140lbs. and accompanied to the ring by Downtown Jimmy Brown, Secshun Ate!"
("The Ghetto" by Too Short starts to play as Secshun Ate comes strutting out from the back with Jimmy Brown. He struts his way down to the ring)
MJ:"Mr. Wrestling picked up and victory last week against Cruel and he will try to extend that streak this week. He certainly has a size advantage over the pencil thin Secshun Ate."
Backwater:"This guy looks more like a homeless guy than a wrestler. He is dressed in old, torn clothes that it look like someone probably threw out. Except for those brand new Air Jordan's. Those are nice."
MJ:"Secshun Ate is in the ring now and we are ready to get underway. He and Mr. Wrestling circle each other. Mr. Wrestling trys to rush in with a clothesline but it's ducked by Secshun Ate. Mr. Wrestling bounces off the ropes and gets nailed by a big boot from Secshun Ate!"
Backwater:"Or a big Air Jordan."
MJ:"Mr. Wrestling is stunned and Secshun Ate grabs him by the back of the neck. He just yelled something other and slapped Mr. Wrestling hard across the face!"
Backwater:"Maybe I'm crazy, but I could have sworn he yelled "No soup for you!".
MJ:"That the personalized slap he calls Poverty Stricken! Now he slams Mr. Wrestling face first down to the canvas. That's the W-I-C Slam! Here's a cover!
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3!!!
CM:"Your winner, via pinfall, Secshun Ate!"
MJ:"Secshun Ate picks up an impressive win in his debut her......"
("Wanna Be A Baller" by Lil' Troy starts to play as a huge man steps out onto the ramp. He is wearing a red, white, and blue football jersey. He stares intently at the ring.)
MJ:"That's new USCW wrestler The Lineman. What is he doing here?"
Backwater:"A man that size can be anywhere he wants."
(The Lineman pulls out a microphone and starts to speak.)
The Lineman:"Just what in the hell do you think you are doing? Were your parents related son? Because you aren't even supposed to be out here. I signed with the USCW before you did and that should have been my match tonight. It should be me in the world title tournament, not some weakling who lives on the streets. The USCW belt will be mine eventually. But before it is, I will show everyone that I should have been in this tournament, even if I have to kick your scrawny ass to do it."
(The Lineman drops the mic and head into the back.)
MJ:"Wow, strong words from The Lineman. He seems to have a problem with Secshun Ate being in the tournament."
Backwater:"If I was Secshun Ate, I would be concerned. One of The Lineman's legs weighs as much as he does."
MJ:"Fans, we are out of time! We will be taking an Easter break next week but join us two weeks from tonight, when Monday Night Mayhem will be live from Houston, Texas. We will be broadcasting from the massive Houston Astrodome. We will see the inring debut of a couple of new wrestlers you met tonight as well as have two first round matchups from the World Title tournament. For Earl Backwater, I am Michael Johnson. Goodnight everybody!"
(Scene fades as Secshun Ate heads back up the ramp with Downtown Jimmy Brown. An overhead camera sweeps the crowd, and then settles on the red USCW logo in the center of the ring as the camera fades to black.)
(Once again fireworks shoot from the ringposts and explode above the ring.)
MJ:"We are live here from the Pete Maravich Assembly Center in Baton Rouge, Louisiana! Our first night back last Monday was a huge success and we're back again to bring more USCW action."
Backwater:"Last week was intriguing indeed and I expect this week to be no different."
MJ:" Fans, tonight we will be seeing action from the other four USCW superstars who will compete in an eight man tournament to crown a new USCW Heavyweight Champion. They have some work to do to be as impressive as some of our competitors from last week. What do you think Earl?"
Backwater:"No doubt about it. Sniper is the man as far as I'm concerned. The others I could do without. Especially now that it appears Sniper will have extra motivation going into this tournament based on the fact he's fighting as a tribute to two fallen friends, former USCW superstars Assassin and Mercenary."
MJ:"That could also be a distraction to him getting the gold. We'll have to see how it plays out. Speaking of distractions, we also heard in the last week that Smackin' Sweardog McKrackin may be distracted from this tournament. He issued a somber statement earlier this week saying he was considering retirement. What did you make of that?"
Backwater:"I think maybe he is finally listening to good advice. Get out while you can Sweardog. Maybe then you wouldn't embarass yourself in the tournament."
MJ:"Why do I even ask you? Fans, I'm getting word from the back that USCW interviewer Paul Sandler has caught up with one of our stars who has a match tonight. Paul."
(The scene switches to backstage as Sandler stands next to Captain Caveman.)
PS:"Thanks MJ. I'm here with USCW newcomer Captain Caveman. He stopped me earlier and expressed a desire to be interviewed tonight. What is on your mind?"
(Captain Caveman jerks and looks around like something is on his head.)
PS:"No, I mean what do you want to say?"
CC:"Captain Caveman get new toy. Captain Caveman kill many things. Captain Caveman impress Jane with toy. That good. Not know where toy come from. Who gave toy is friend to Captain Caveman. Oh, and Captain Caveman will hurt Milkman bad."
(Captain Caveman races off.)
PS:"Well, there you have it fellas. Whatever it is. Back to you."
MJ:"Thanks Paul. It certainly has been an interesting drama so far surrounding Captiain Caveman, Apollo, and Sniper. Fans, we are ready to get things going. Up first is one of the men we just mentioned. He is quickly making an impression on USCW fans. Let's take it down to Cindy for the official introductions.
CM:"The following contest is set for one fall. Introducing first, already in the ring, weighing in at 225 pounds, Hans Friegen!"
(Friegen pulls on the ropes to warm up.)
CM:"And his opponent, weighing in at 220 pounds, Apollo!"
("Chariots Of Fire" starts to play through the arena speakers as Apollo emerges at the top of the ramp driving a chariot of gold drawn by two white horses. On the jumbotron behind him the video of a giant sun rising starts to play. He steps down from the chariot and hands the reigns to a USCW assistant before making his way to the ring. He is wearing a white toga with a crown of leaves around his head.)
MJ:"Still no one knows quite what to make of this man. Most people are booing but I think some people are really liking this greek god turned wrestler."
Backwater:"I have been entertained by his comments and actions thus far. We'll have to see what he can do in the ring now."
MJ:"Apollo has removed his crown of leaves now and is ready to wrestle. I have to say, I have never seen anyone wrestle in a toga. That should be interesting. The bell has rung now and here we go. The two men circle each other and now they lock up. Apollo overpowers Friegen and whips him into the ropes. Friegen bounces back and Apollo floors him with a powerful clothesline!"
Backwater:"A nice move by Apollo. He showed a lot of power with that."
MJ:"It doesn't look like Apollo is going to waste any time with Friegen. He is locking up his legs in a figure four type move and is tweaking Friegen's achilles tendon with his knuckles. That's the Achilles Heel! Friegen taps out!"
CM:"Your winner, via submission, Apollo!"
MJ:"Apollo earns the submission victory and is looking good heading into the world title tournament."
("Hell's Bells" by AC/DC starts to blare over the arena speakers. Out onto the ramp steps a large figure dressed all in black. He has two spikes of hair in the front that look like horns and he has a goatee in the shape of a trident. From behind him walks a stunning woman with dark black hair. He stares ominously at the crowd before making his way to the ring and stepping over the top rope.)
MJ:"That might be the scariest man I've ever seen."
Backwater:"Jesus, is that a puddle underneath your chair MJ? And forget him, who's the chick?"
MJ:"Funny. I've only heard about them before and never seen them but that has to be new USCW signee Hades and his escort Persephone. Wow, the bossman of the underworld himself. And he certainly looks like he could keep things in line down there."
Backwater:"I wonder what business he has with Apollo?"
MJ:"They are grabbing a microphone so let's find out."
Apollo:"Recently Apollo was approached with a proposition. My uncle, Hades, decided that running the Underworld was growing boring, and that he will join me in the USCW. Remember this moment mortals. This is the moment the most powerful force in wrestling history was formed. Apollo and Hades are now, the Immortals! And with my uncle by my side, Apollo will reclaim Aphrodite and Apollo wil......."
(Suddenly, the lights in the arena go out. The jumbotron above the ramp flashes on to show the face of Sweardog McCrackin. The crowd cheers as he begins to speak.)
Sweardog:"You know, I had real doubts about this league. I thought, "I've never taken the championship belt in all these years. I have been passive in my efforts." I thought that is was time to hang up the tailored pants I wear to the ring for good."
(The crowd boos that idea and shows it's dissaproval.)
Sweardog:"But I see these newcomers into the USCW and feel as though some strangers are entering my house. And I don't like strangers in my house, especially making a big ruckus. Only one thing is worthy of a big ruckus.....
(Pyrotechnics explode in the arena as McKrackin's voice raises and bellows throughout the arena.)
Sweardog:"And thats a mudhole stomped in your asses!! Seeing your interviews I know it is about time to put the kiddies to bed. So, "Immortals", welcome to the USCW!"
(The lights come back on and Sweardog is ringside with a firehose. He turns it on full blast and starts to douse Apollo and Hades in the ring. They scramble to get out of the stream as Sweardog laughs at ringside. After getting them soaked, Sweardog cuts it off and plays to the crowd as he heads back up the ramp to the back.)
MJ:"Sweardog with a welcome to the Immortals. And look at his shirt! It says "Earl Backwater is a p*%#y"."
Backwater:"I guess you are what you ea....."
MJ:"That's enough from you. Well, as Apollo and Hades make there way to the back, looking none too happy I might add, and USCW assisstants dry the ring with towels, what do you think of Apollo's chances in this tournament?"
Backwater:"I'm not sold on this guy as of yet, but he is starting to grow on me. And any enemy of Sweardog is a friend of mine. He might make some noise in the tournament."
MJ:"Well, our next fighter made some noise of his own last week. Let's take a look at the footage."
(A clip rolls of The Big Shot coming down to ringside and distracting Cruel, causing him to get rolled up by Mr. Wrestling for a loss.)
MJ:"Well, he certainly made an impact last week. Now The Big Shot makes his in ring debut. Let's take it down to Cindy."
CM:"The following contest is set for one fall. Introducing first, already in the ring, weighing in at 210lbs, Tsuyoshi Sakuraba!"
(Sakuraba works through a series of kicks and punches and yells loudly at the end.)
CM:"And his opponent, weighing in at 225lbs., The Big Shot!"
("Break Stuff" by Limp Bizkit cranks up as The Big Shot sprints down to the ring and slides in.)
MJ:"This youngster certainly has an abundance of energy and enthusiasm. You can tell he is fired up and ready to go in this one."
Backwater:"If he needs to get fired up to wrestle Sakuraba, he's in for a short career in the USCW."
MJ:"My guess is that Sakuraba is in for a short fight. Woah! And that may indeed be the case! As soon as the bell rang, The Big Shot sprinted across the ring and speared Sakuraba!"
Backwater:"He lifted him 3 feet off the mat before slamming him back down."
MJ:"The Big Shot is back up now and he is climbing to the top rope. He leaps and turns a backflip in the air before crashing down onto Sakuraba! He calls that move The Final Warning! That's usually a prelude to the Shot Bottom!"
Backwater:"But not this time. Just as he promised before The Big Shot is locking Sakuraba in a Sharpshooter. And Sakuraba taps out!"
CM:"Your winner, via submission, The Big Shot!"
MJ:"The Big Shot comes away with a victory here in his USCW debut. What do you think of this youngsters chances in the tournament for the world title?"
Backwater:"He's a pretty good athlete, but I just don't think he has the experience he would need to navigate this tournament."
MJ:"But that is what is so exciting about this tournament. You never know what might happen. Two matches down, and two matches still to go here tonight on Mayhem. Let's take it down to Cindy for the debut match of another wrestler who has been very busy in his short time here in the USCW."
CM:"The following contest is set for one fall. Introducing first, already in the ring, weighing in at 300lbs., Milkjug Mahoney!"
(Milkjug yells out "Gitter Dun!" to the crowd and pulls on the straps of his overalls.)
CM:"And his opponent, weighing in at 250lbs., Captain Caveman!"
(Congo drums start to play and random dinosaur sounds echo through the arena. Captain Caveman leaps out onto the ramp from the back. With him is Aphrodite. She is dressed in old skins and her hands are tied together with what appears to be some old vines. He walks her down to the ring and uses some more vines to lash her to his corner before he hops into the ring.)
MJ:"Well, I wondered how this would go down. As everyone who saw the show last week knows Captain Caveman kidnapped Aphrodite last week at the conclusion of the show. Now he brings her down to the ring. Apollo had a match earlier tonight. I wonder if he is still in the back?"
Backwater:"Something tells me if he is we will find out soon."
MJ:"The bell has rung and we are ready to go here. The two men circle each other and Captain Caveman takes control with a big running headbutt that floors Milkjug!"
Backwater:"Here's our answer MJ! Here comes Apollo right now!"
MJ:"He is sprinting down the ramp to ringside. Aphrodite is lashed to the farside ringpost and Apollo just ran past our broadcast location and around to the far side of the ring to get to where she is. Meanwhile in the ring, Captain Caveman is in total control of Milkjug Mahoney. He is peppering him with a viscious series of various types of headbutts. He is oblivious to what is going on outside the ring."
Backwater:"Apollo has almost reached Aphrodite now and......Woah! He just dissapeared from our sight!"
MJ:"He must have fallen on the far side of the ring. We need a camera over there!"
(The scene shifts to show Apollo rolling around on the ground holding his head.)
MJ:"What happened? We didn't get a good look from our angle. Meanwhile in the ring, Captain Caveman has just nailed Milkjug with the Caveman Clothesline and is climbling to the top rope."
Backwater:"But look at ringside! Sniper just emerged from under the ring! And he is carrying a large Bowie knife! He glances down at Apollo and sneers before walking towards Aphrodite!"
MJ:"Captain Caveman just nailed the Dino Drop on Mahoney. Here's the cover!"
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3!!!"
CM:"Your winner, via pinfall, Captain Caveman!"
MJ:"Sniper looked Aphrodite over for a second but then he just leaves the Bowie knife by the ringpost before dissapearing into the crowd. He left Captain Caveman a knife?"
Backwater:"Well, we saw earlier where he introduced Captain Caveman to a spear. I guess he is trying to slowly upgrade his weaponry."
MJ:"The caveman is quickly over to his corner now and spots the knife. He stares at it for a second before touching it with his other hand and drawing the hand back in pain. Captain Caveman sees now that Apollo is starting to get to his feet at ringside. He quickly uses the knife to cut the vines holding Aphrodite to the ringpost and grabs her and starts sprinting back up the ramp."
Backwater:"Apollo is back up now and furious! He sees the other two running towards the back and takes off after them!"
MJ:"What a wild series of events. Captain Caveman picks up the victory and keeps Aphrodite with what appeared to be help from Sniper. I'm being told now we have a camera that captured the action on the far side of the ring."
(Clip rolls of Apollo running around the side of the ring and an arm coming out from under the ring to grab his leg, causing him to trip and land headfirst on the concrete outside the ring.)
MJ:"So it was Sniper! I don't know why he has decided to get involved in this feud between Apollo and Captain Caveman but he is certainly keeping everyone on their toes."
Backwater:"And Apollo can't seem to catch a break tonight. Doused with water by Sweardog, then jumped by Sniper."
MJ:"Well fans, we have one match left tonight. It's the debut of the final wrestler of the eight that will appear in the tournament for the title. Let's take it down to Cindy and get this one started."
CM:"The following contest is set for one fall. Introducing first, already in the ring, weighing in at 240lbs., Mr. Wrestling!"
(Mr. Wrestling pumps his fist to the crowd.)
CM:"And his opponent, weighing in at 140lbs. and accompanied to the ring by Downtown Jimmy Brown, Secshun Ate!"
("The Ghetto" by Too Short starts to play as Secshun Ate comes strutting out from the back with Jimmy Brown. He struts his way down to the ring)
MJ:"Mr. Wrestling picked up and victory last week against Cruel and he will try to extend that streak this week. He certainly has a size advantage over the pencil thin Secshun Ate."
Backwater:"This guy looks more like a homeless guy than a wrestler. He is dressed in old, torn clothes that it look like someone probably threw out. Except for those brand new Air Jordan's. Those are nice."
MJ:"Secshun Ate is in the ring now and we are ready to get underway. He and Mr. Wrestling circle each other. Mr. Wrestling trys to rush in with a clothesline but it's ducked by Secshun Ate. Mr. Wrestling bounces off the ropes and gets nailed by a big boot from Secshun Ate!"
Backwater:"Or a big Air Jordan."
MJ:"Mr. Wrestling is stunned and Secshun Ate grabs him by the back of the neck. He just yelled something other and slapped Mr. Wrestling hard across the face!"
Backwater:"Maybe I'm crazy, but I could have sworn he yelled "No soup for you!".
MJ:"That the personalized slap he calls Poverty Stricken! Now he slams Mr. Wrestling face first down to the canvas. That's the W-I-C Slam! Here's a cover!
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3!!!
CM:"Your winner, via pinfall, Secshun Ate!"
MJ:"Secshun Ate picks up an impressive win in his debut her......"
("Wanna Be A Baller" by Lil' Troy starts to play as a huge man steps out onto the ramp. He is wearing a red, white, and blue football jersey. He stares intently at the ring.)
MJ:"That's new USCW wrestler The Lineman. What is he doing here?"
Backwater:"A man that size can be anywhere he wants."
(The Lineman pulls out a microphone and starts to speak.)
The Lineman:"Just what in the hell do you think you are doing? Were your parents related son? Because you aren't even supposed to be out here. I signed with the USCW before you did and that should have been my match tonight. It should be me in the world title tournament, not some weakling who lives on the streets. The USCW belt will be mine eventually. But before it is, I will show everyone that I should have been in this tournament, even if I have to kick your scrawny ass to do it."
(The Lineman drops the mic and head into the back.)
MJ:"Wow, strong words from The Lineman. He seems to have a problem with Secshun Ate being in the tournament."
Backwater:"If I was Secshun Ate, I would be concerned. One of The Lineman's legs weighs as much as he does."
MJ:"Fans, we are out of time! We will be taking an Easter break next week but join us two weeks from tonight, when Monday Night Mayhem will be live from Houston, Texas. We will be broadcasting from the massive Houston Astrodome. We will see the inring debut of a couple of new wrestlers you met tonight as well as have two first round matchups from the World Title tournament. For Earl Backwater, I am Michael Johnson. Goodnight everybody!"
(Scene fades as Secshun Ate heads back up the ramp with Downtown Jimmy Brown. An overhead camera sweeps the crowd, and then settles on the red USCW logo in the center of the ring as the camera fades to black.)