MJ:"Hello there fans and welcome to yet
another edition of Monday Night Mayhem!"
(Once again firework fire into the Target Center.)
MJ:"We are live here from the Target Center in Minneapolis for another night full of USCW action. We are coming off the heels of Clash Of The Titans and things have never been hotter. RJ Souza is still the World Champion, despite too many people to even count coming to ringside. Sniper didn't come away with the world title, but he and the Click are as dangerous as ever, maybe even more so now. Joining me to sort through all this is wrestling superstar "Lightning" Scott Baxter. LSB, what are your thoughts coming out of the Clash?"
LSB:"Well MJ, there were some things decided at the Clash but we got many more questions than we did answers. Who is now the number one contender for Souza's world title? Can anyone unseat the tag team champs? Does Joe Lifesaver have any chance to make Country Pimp tap out in the match for the US title? And most importantly, what is the condition of the CEO after that exploding package? And who sent it? Is the CEO in any kind of condition to even make the big announcement he promised last week? There are tons of questions to be answered MJ."
MJ:"And we have another amazing night of action for you here tonight. Earlier tonight, El Presidente had a message he wanted to get across. Here is that footage."
(Camera shows El Presidente in his locker room backstage. Next to him is the vacant USCW TV Title belt)
El Presidente: CEO Adams, I am here with request. I will be as polite as possible, but the fans of USCW deserve an honorable man with charisma and pisazz to hold the TV title. It is a disgrace that this belt I once held around my waist has been vacant since the recreation of this federation, man. So tonight, I am asking you to put this belt up for grabs. Since I held this title, I think my match tonight with Tornado is the place to get it started again, man. And if you are not happy with that, then I say let's put myself and three others, one from the Boot Camp Click, one from the Rezolution, and some other jasa in a lumberjack next week, and have the TV Title crowned. The fans deserve to have a champion they can enjoy everyday, man. The fans want to see the law carried out in its fullest, man. Make it happen CEO Adams. Now if you don't mind, Tornado is waiting to see the law carried out. And I'm out!
(Camera Fades out)
MJ:"So El Presidente is looking for the TV title. The TV title is a title he has held in this league in the past and he's ready to fight for it again. It should be interesting to see the CEO's reaction to those comments."
LSB:"I don't what the plans of the CEO are. We'll have to see if they include a TV title match in the near future."
MJ:"Well fans, as you know, Ashley Donnelle, the PP&H manager has been missing for quite some time. I can officially announce now that the search is over. Early tonight, we got this footage from a backstage camera."
("Sweet" Gordy Dix is looking around in the parking lot area of the Target Center. Gordy looks for a while before coming up to the tricked out RV of the Boot Camp Click. He scopes out the immediate area before walking up to the door.)
SGD(opening the door of the RV)- "Ashley, I knew you would be here. Those mother f(bleep)ers didn't hurt you did they?"
AD- "No, everything is fine. I'm just glad to be back with you now."
(Scene closes with SGD and AD in an embrace.)
MJ:"So Ashley is now back with the PP&H."
LSB:"Am I the only one that finds that just a tad too convienent? She's gone all this time, and he simply walks into the Boot Camp Click RV and there she is? The whole thing seems fishy to me."
MJ:"Well, I for one am relieved."
LSB:"I've been around this business for a long time MJ. And I have been the mastermind behind many a plot. And just trust me. Something's not right about this. We'll just have to wait to see what it is."
MJ:"If you are through with your conspiracy theories, we'll get to the first match. Cindy."
CM:"The following contest is set for one fall. Introducing first, weighing in at 237 pounds and hailing from a classified location, Assassin!"
("The Boot Camp Click" by the T-Town Posse plays as Assassin makes his way to the ring.)
CM:"And his opponent, weighing in at 250 pounds and hailing from Omaha, Nebraska, "Blunted" Brandon Banks!"
("For Everybody" by Juvenile blasts over the speakers as Banks strides down to the ring.)
MJ:"We are ready to go here in the first match of the evening. Assassin and Banks circle around the ring. They move to lock up and Banks stops short and nails a right hand. He works Assassin over with a few more punches, the last of which is a big right hand that sends Assassin to the canvas!"
LSB:"Fast start for Banks. He has a street brawling type style where he tries to impose his will on his opponent. So far, so good."
MJ:"Banks brings Assassin to his feet. He whips him into the far side ropes, catches Assassin and slams him down with a big spinebuster! Banks goes for a cover!
1
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
2
.
.
.
.
No! Assassin gets a shoulder up."
LSB:"Banks having his way so far. We'll have to see if Assassin can get something going."
MJ:"Banks brings Assassin to his feet again. He whips him into the corner and follows it in with a big clothesline! Assassin stumbles out of the corner and Banks nails him with a bulldog!"
LSB:"Now Banks is putting the boots to Assassin. He goes for a big stomp to the head but Assassin grabs a foot and trips up Banks! Assassin up quickly and now lays a few boots of his own into Banks!"
MJ:"Assassin brings Banks to his feet and whips him into the ropes. Clothesline from Assassin! That one had a lot of impact! Now Assassin is going to try a cover!
1
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
2
.
.
.
.
.
No! Banks kicks out forcefully."
LSB:"Assassin up quickly again and moves to bring Banks to his feet. But Banks fires an elbow into the midsection of Assassin!"
MJ:"Look at the ramp! The PP&H is coming out! "Sweet" Gordy has a big chain, Q-Tip has has a pipe wrench, El Presidente has a cinder block, and Country Pimp has his bull whip! They are headed to the ring."
LSB:"Meanwhile, in the ring, Banks just nailed his "To The Ceiling" Brainbuster and is about to set Assassin up for Street Justice! But the PP&H just hit the ring! The ref is calling for the bell!"
CM:"You're winner, via disqualification, "Blunted" Brandon Banks!"
MJ:"He may have been the winner tonight, but I don't envy him right now! He just got attacked by all four of the PP&H at once! Oh! Country Pimp cracked him across the back with that bullwhip!"
LSB:"That's going to leave a mark! Banks is down and El Presidente just set the cinder block down in the ring. "Sweet" Gordy picks up banks and nails a DDT onto the cinder block! Oh my goodness!"
MJ:"Banks is busted open and bleeding in the ring! Gordy just took a mic."
(As Gordy grabs the mic, The Country Pimp spraypaints PP&H on the back of the downed Banks.)
SGD:"Banks! You just got blunted bitch!!!! There is no way in hell the SWEETNESS and the rest of the PP&H are going to let some greenhorn try to make a name for himself in our league. Souza!!!!! You better not even think of giving this asshole a title shot before I get mine!!!"
(Throws down the mic but sees that Sniper and Mercenary have made there way to ringside to help Assasssin. SGD walks back and picks up the mic.)
SGD- "Bootcamp Click!!!! You are the only son of a bitches besides the PP&H who don't care what people think about you. I like that! Even though I can't stand you, I have to respect that! This had nothing to do with you, so step aside if you don't want any trouble."
(The PP&H hop out of the ring and make their way to the back. Each group stares the other down as they carefully walk around each other as the groups pass. Sniper and Mercenary slide into the ring to join Assassin who is back on his feet now. Those three then head to the back as medical personel come out to check on Brandon Banks.)
LSB:"Don't the Boot Camp Click and the PP&H usually go after each other?"
MJ:"Well, the numbers weren't in their favor. They'll probably try to get them back later. Brandon Banks comes away with a victory here but pays a stiff price at the hands of the PP&H. Fans, we're going to take a short break as they make sure Banks is ok."
MJ:"Welcome back fans. The ringside area is now clear and we are ready for our second match. Let's take it down to Cindy."
CM:"The following contest is set for one fall. Introducing first, weighing in at 245 pounds and hailing from Havana, Cuba, El Presidente!"
(The "Scarface" theme plays El Presidente and The First Lady make their way to the ring. El Presidente takes one last puff from his cigar and hands it to The First Lady for safekeeping.)
CM:"And his opponent, weighing at 207 pounds and hailing from Newark, New Jersey, Tornado O'Conner!"
("When Worlds Collide" plays as Tornado jogs to the ring and slides in, ready to go.)
MJ:"Alright fans, we are ready to go here in this matchup of two wrestlers who have had some success here in the USCW."
LSB:"El Presidente wants the CEO to bring back the TV title. Maybe if he is impressive here, the CEO will consider it."
MJ:"The bell rings and Tornado starts out quickly with a standing dropkick! It knocks El Presidente backwards and Tornado gets a running start and takes El Presidente down with a flying headscissors! El Presidente quickly rolls to the outside and starts to chat with The First Lady."
LSB:"Tornado is very quick. El Presidente will have to adjust to that quickly to gain an advantage in this match."
MJ:"Looks like El Pres is ready to slide back in now. The two men circle each other for a second and El Pres jumps in and locks up. He scoops up the smaller O'Conner and brings him down with a huge backbreaker! That move carried a lot of impact."
LSB:"Tornado is going to have to play to his strengths avoid situations like that."
MJ:"El Pres picks Tornado up and puts him into a Torture Rack! He's ready pulling down hard and putting a lot of pressure on the back of Tornado O'Conner!"
LSB:"That kind of move almost looks like it could break the smaller man in two. Finally, El Pres lets go and Tornado crashes to the mat."
MJ:"El Presidente has him up again now, sets him up and nails a piledriver! Here's a cover!
1
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
2
.
.
.
.
.
No! Tornado squirms free and gets a shoulder up."
LSB:"I'm surprized he got out of that one."
MJ:"El Pres gets to his feet and Tornado rolls to the other side of the ring and pops up. El Presidente charges over for a clothesline but it's ducked by O'Conner! El Pres bounces off the ropes and Tornado hits him with a back elbow! Standing side kick floors El Presidente! And now Tornado is headed up top. He waits for El Presidente to get to his feet and nails him with a missile drop kick! Here's the cover!
1
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
2
.
.
.
.
.
.
No! El Presidente kicks out!"
LSB:"And now look at The First Lady. She isn't too happy with how this match is progressing so far. She just hopped up on the apron and is yelling at Tornado! The ref and Tornado are both over there now. The ref is trying to get The First Lady off the apron."
MJ:"All this commotion is giving El Presidente some time to recover. It looks like The First Lady is finally going to hop off the apron."
LSB:"But look at that! As soon as the ref and O'Conner turned around, The First Lady hopped right back up, and put out El Presidente's cigar on Tornado's shoulder! She quickly hops back town as O'Conner turns around and yells out in pain!"
MJ:"El Presidente is up now! He sees O'Conner facing the ropes and get a running start. He jumps over the ropes feet first and grabs O'Conner's head on the way over and delivers a stunner across the top rope! He calls that move The Bay Of Pigs!"
LSB:"Tornado is down and out in the ring now. El Presidente climbs back up on the apron and is headed to the top turnbuckle! It could be..., yes it is! The Cuban Missile Crisis legdrop from El Presidente!"
MJ:"He dropped his leg across the throat of Tornado from the top! He's a cover!
1
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
2
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
3!!!! El Presidente gets the three count!"
CM:"Your winner, via pinfall, El Presidente!"
MJ:"El Presidente grabs a win for the PP&H, with a little help from The First Lady."
LSB:"We'll have to see if the CEO thinks this was an impressive enough win to bring back the TV title."
(El Presidente and The First Lady make their way to the back as the "Scarface" theme plays again.)
MJ:"Well fans, that brings us to a big tag team matchup between Thunderbolt Lightfoot and Sweardog McKrackin of the Rez versus "Sweet" Gordy Dix and Q-Tip Callahan of the PP&H. This is an ongoing rivalry. "Sweet" Gordy managed an underhanded win over Thunderbolt at Clash Of The Titans but was later cost the tag team titles when attacked by Thunderbolt. Q-Tip Callahan has been clamoring for a rematch with Sweardog McCrackin for weeks now, after Sweardog managed a win in their first encounter. Let's take it down to Cindy for the introductions."
CM:"The following contest is set for one fall. Introducing first, representing the PP&H, "Sweet" Gordy Dix and Q-Tip Callahan!"
(SGD walks down the entrance ramp pushing a young man in a wheelchair. QTIP is carrying a bag of some sorts with a big red ribbon on it. SGD picks the kid up out of the wheelchair and all 3 enter the ring where SGD is tossed a mic.)
SGD:"In case some of you people haven't heard, there was a vicious shark attack off of the Mississippi Gulf Coast earlier this summer."
(Pointing towards the kid.)
SGD:"This kid, Charles Samsonite, has evoked in me so much courage, emotion, and determination in his fight for survival and rehabilitation that I would like to make him an honorary member of the PP&H."
(At this time Ashley Donnelle, Big Jim, Country Pimp, and El Presidente come from the locker room and give young Charles a PP&H shirt.)
MJ:"What do you make of this LSB?"
(Baxter just stares blankly and shakes his head.)
SGD:(Throwing him the shirt)"Here you go kid. Youth Large just like you wanted. And just to show all of my fans and naysayers out there how big my heart, and wallet both are, I went out and got the kid a present. QTIP, go ahead and give him the gift."
(QTIP gives young Charles the large bag and it is opened to reveal a pair of prosthetic legs.)
SGD:"Yes sir. Those are $50,000 titanium legs and they have been autographed by each one of the PP&H. I hope you enjoy them!!!! And I have another gift for you as well.....we're going to let you sit ringside in your wheelchair for this next match with the rest of the PP&H. Ashley, keep an eye on my little buddy while the SWEETNESS and QTIP TCOB!!!!!!!"
CM:"And their opponents, respresenting The Rezolution, Smackin' Sweardog McCrackin and Thunderbolt Lightfoot!"
(The theme of the Rez plays as the leader of The Rezolution and the Native American giant make their way down to the ring. They slide into the ring, eyeing PP&H at ringside as the Country Pimp comes over and sits at the announcers's booth with MJ and LSB.)
MJ:"Well, it looks like we will be welcoming the Country Pimp to the broadcast. Pimp, what is the deal with kid Charles?"
CP:"You heard Gordy. He's a sensitive guy. Cares about the needs of others. I think losing Ashley for a while may have changed him. He is sucessful and wants to give back to other less fortunate than himself."
LSB:"MJ, what's today's date?"
MJ:"September 13th, why?"
(Baxter stares at the Country Pimp skeptically.)
LSB:"Just wanted to make sure it wasn't April."
MJ:"Well, you have to say he made good here with the donation of prosthetic legs to this accident victim."
LSB:"Did he make good with a cinder block DDT earlier tonight?"
CP:"Watch it Baxter. Put your nose where it doesn't belong and you'll be the next one getting PP&H spray painted on you."
(Baxter mumbles something under his breath.)
CP:"What?"
LSB:"Sorry, something in my throat."
CP:"I got a good guess what that might be."
LSB:"I got a good guess what about to be in......."
(MJ interupts.)
MJ:"Hey, we have a match to broadcast here fellas. And it's ready to go. It looks like Q-Tip and Sweardog will start things out. The two men lock up and the larger Q-Tip grabs him and whips Sweardog into the ropes. Sweardog bounces back and there's a big clothesline from Q-Tip!"
CP:"That's the way this whole match is going to go. PP&H dominating the whole way."
MJ:"Sweardog is back up quickly and he blocks a right hand from Q-Tip, before delivering one of his own that staggers the PP&H member. Sweardog fires another shot off, and another, before whipping Q-Tip to the ropes. Sweardog looks for a big boot, but Q-Tip ducks it and turns Sweardog around, kicking him in the gut and then nailing him with a DDT! He goes for a cover!
1
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
2
.
.
No! Sweardog kicks out."
LSB:"Q-Tip has really wanted a piece of Sweardog for a while and it shows."
MJ:"Q-Tip reaches down and lifts Sweardog up, before bringing him over to the corner where Gordy is waiting. The tag is made, and Gordy enters the ring, delivering a boot to the side of Sweardog. Gordy picks him up and executes a go-behind, looking to hit a german suplex but Sweardog blocks it and rushes forwards, pushing both himself and Gordy into the ropes, and then rebounding off, falling backwards to roll Gordy up!
1
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
2
.
.
Gordy powers his way out of the rollup."
CP:"Weak stuff like that won't hold the Sweetness down."
MJ:"Gordy is up quickly and nails Sweardog with a series of jabs. Sweardog is stunned and Gordy drops to one knee to go for a big low blow but Sweardog manages to slide out of the way at the last second! He is quickly over and makes the tag to Lightfoot!"
LSB:"Now we'll see who's dominating who."
MJ:"Dix sees the tag and is quickly over to make a tag to Q-Tip. Callahan is in now against the big man."
CP:"Gordy lets Q-Tip take care of his light work."
MJ:"The two men circle for a minute before Lightfoot locks up and pushes Q-Tip back into the corner. He drops down and nails Q-Tip with some shoulders. He tries another shoulder but Q-Tip drops down out of the way and Lightfoot rams the turnbuckle. Q-Tip grabs him with a schoolboy rollup!
1
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
2
.
.
.
.
No! Thunderbolt frees himself and is quickly up to his feet. He meets Q-Tip with a powerful clothesline as Q-Tip first gets up. He brings Q-Tip over to the corner and tags in Sweardog. Sweardog grabs Q-Tip by the head and delivers a series of viscious knee shots. They last one drops Q-Tip and Sweardog goes for a cover.
1
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
2
.
.
.
.
.
.
No! Gordy comes from across the ring and kicks Sweardog off!"
LSB:"An entertaining match so far. But not exactly all PP&H like you said Pimp."
CP:"Everything will turn out alright in the end."
MJ:"The ref gets Gordy to leave as Sweardog brings Q-Tip to his feet."
LSB:"Look at this! It's the Boot Camp Click! They are running down to ringside!"
MJ:"I told you they would get revenge on the PP&H!"
LSB:"Pimp, aren't you going to help?"
(The Boot Camp Click runs down to little Charles at ringside and shoves over his wheelchair! They grab the bag with his prosthetic legs and slide into the ring.)
MJ:"The ref is calling for the bell already! He wants no part of this! Sniper has one of the prosthetic legs and is heading towards "Sweet" Gordy!"
LSB:"Here comes Dr. Thanatos, Jeff Rodeo, and Joe Lifesaver from the back!"
MJ:"But Sniper doesn't hit Gordy! The two smile at each other! And now Sniper cracks Sweardog with the prosthetic leg! And Assassin hits Thunderbolt Lightfoot with the other one! The PP&H and the Bootcamp Click are working together! What kind of unholy alliance is this?"
CP:"I think my services are needed now gentlemen. Have a great day."
LSB:"I knew it! I knew something was fishy with all of this!"
MJ:"And now the Rezolution is hopelessly outnumbered! They have the members of both the Click and the PP&H attacking them!"
LSB:"Thunderbolt and Sweardog are really getting worked over in the ring! And here come the spraypaint cans again!"
MJ:"El Presidente, Country Pimp, Assassin, Mercenary, and Big Jim are keeping the Rezolution at bay while Gordy, Q-Tip, and Sniper are all over Lightfoot and Sweardog in the ring. Now Sniper and Gordy take turns painting PP&H and BCC on both Thunderbolt and Sweardog. This is a sad state of affairs."
LSB:"This has been a night of the "Bad Guys" of the USCW. If the Boot Camp Click and PP&H are really on the same page now, it could spell serious trouble for the rest of the league. Of course, they could just be doing this just tonight to get at the REZ."
MJ:"And now finally the PP&H and Boot Camp Click are leaving to go the back as the rest of the REZ slides in to check on their two fallen teammates. And look at this! Sniper and "Sweet" Gordy take the time to stop and laugh as the little kid Charles scrambles to get back in his wheelchair! How heartless can you be!"
LSB:"In the case of these two men, nothing surprizes me any more."
MJ:"I'm hearing the official ruling of that match is a No Contest. Fans, we are going to take one last break to get ready for our main event, a submission match between the Country Pimp and "The Medic" Joe Lifesaver for the US Heavyweight Championship! Stay tuned."
(Scene fades as the REZ helps Charles then thelps Thunderbolt and Sweardog to the back.)
MJ:"Welcome back fans. After that horrible display I can barely go on here tonight. But we have two more big events for you. And one is a message from the CEO. He recorded it earlier, and wanted it played here tonight."
(The jumbotron cuts on to reveal a picture of the CEO. But he is not in the usual Armani suit you are used too, but laying in a hospital bed with a white gown on. There are bandages over most of his hands and arms, and over one of his eyes. After a moment of silence, he begins to speak in a pained tone.)
Adams:"I hate to have to come to you like this tonight, but I don't have much choice. You all witnessed the explosion at my Jackson home. The blast gave me severe burns on my hands and arms and a piece of something from the blast hit my right eye and is threatening my vision in that eye."
(The crowd gasps as it realizes the extent of the injuries.)
Adams:"But I will not let this interfere with the duties of the league. As evidence from the multiple attacks already on this show, the USCW is in need of guidance. And it will get it. That is part of what I would like to talk about tonight. While I recover from my injuries, I will be forced to be away from USCW shows. Until I recover enough to start traveling with the show, I am naming an acting commisioner who will have full power in my absense. And that commisioner is......."Lightning" Scott Baxter."
(The crowd goes crazy with this announcement.)
Adams:"Effective beginning next week, he will have booking duties, and will be the final say in all matters dealing with the league, including suspensions."
MJ:"Wow LSB. Can I have a raise?"
LSB:"You're going to be lucky to be employed at all."
Adams:"And for my other announcement. As my last act in charge until I return, I am setting a match for the next pay per view event, USCW Annihilation! On that card, there will be a Stable War! One big match to once and for all determine where the power lies in this federation. Four teams of four men apiece. The PP&H will have a team. The Rezolution will have a team. The Boot Camp Click will have a team. And RJ Souza's Criminal Nation will have a team. One man from each team will start out in the ring and a new man from each team will run down every five minutes. You can be eliminated by being pinned, submitted, or thrown over the top rope and to the floor. I hope you fans will enjoy that one. I will go now, I will back as soon as I can, but my injuries are rather severe. And one more thing. I WILL find out who sent that package. And when I do, there will be hell to pay. That is all."
(The scene goes black.)
MJ:"Wow, he wasn't kidding about big announcements. You, partner, are the acting commissioner. Plus a huge match at Annihilation. But before we get to all that, we do have one really big match left here tonight. Let's take it down to Cindy."
CM:"The following contest is a submission match and is for the United State Heavyweight Championship! Introducing first, weighing in at 235 pounds and hailing from New York, New York, "The Medic", Joe Lifesaver!"
("Move Bitch" by Ludacris plays as the Medic struts to the ring and slides in.)
CM:"And his opponent, weighing in at 380 pounds and hailing from Monterey, Louisiana, the Country Pimp!"
("A Country Boy Can Survive" plays as Country Pimp walks down to the ring. Big Jim is with him. The Pimp is wearing blue jeans with a black t-shirt with PP&H on the front and "Joe C**ksucker is my Bitch!" on the back. He hands Big Jim his bullwhip and steps up and over the top rope into the ring.)
MJ:"Well fans, as you heard Cindy Maxwell say this is a submission match. The first man to make the other tap out or pass out is the winner."
LSB:"As I said last week, I believe this is a big advantage for Country Pimp."
MJ:"We'll see how it works out as the bell rings and we are once again underway. Lifesaver and Country Pimp lock up and Pimp scoops him up and plants him with a powerslam in the middle of the ring! Country Pimp is up and begins to play to the crowd a little bit."
LSB:"We're used to seeing that MJ."
MJ:"The Pimp has a very deliberate style that comes across as extremely cocky."
LSB:"That's because it is. Country Pimp picks the Medic up and whips him into the ropes. Big boot from the Pimp! Lifesaver goes down. The Pimp picks him up and puts him in an abdominal stretch! He's really cranking it, trying to get Lifesaver to tap out."
MJ:"Lifesaver refuses and finally the Pimp lets him go."
LSB:"The Medic is a tough guy. It will take a lot for him to tap out."
MJ:"The Pimp moves to pick Lifesaver up again and this time Lifesaver rolls out of the way and grabs a leg of the Pimp and takes him down. He keep a hold of the leg and rolls the Pimp into a single leg crab! Nice move."
LSB:"It looks like Lifesaver has been practicising his submission wrestling."
MJ:"He torques on the Pimp's leg but the Pimp fights over and grabs the ropes. The ref forces Lifesaver to break the hold."
LSB:"Now both men are back on their feet and move to lock up again. This time Lifesaver with a kick to the gut. He grabs the Pimp's head and delivers a series of knees. He tries one more knee but this time the Pimp grabs the leg, picks the Medic up and slams him down with a big spinebuster!"
MJ:"The Pimp picks Lifesaver up and is locking him in the Full Nelson!"
LSB:"Look, coming down the ramp. It's "Wild Dog" Williamson! What is he doing here. He has a microphone."
MJ:"The Pimp just slammed Lifesaver down face first and is locking in the Bull Ride!"
Williamson:"Hey! This match shouldn't even be for the US title! I was in that Four Way and nobody beat me!"
MJ:"Lifesaver is tapping out!"
CM:"Your winnner, via submission, and NEW United States Heavyweight Champion, Country Pimp!"
Williamson:"You are not the champ! When did you beat me?"
(The rest of the PP&H comes running from the back. Williamson jumps into the crowd and heads through the back. The Pimp grabs a mic as the rest of the PP&H slides into the ring.)
Country Pimp:"Does anybody even know who that was? As soon as I figure out who you are, I'll whip your ass along with everybody else. The PP&H are coming for all the titles! This is just the beginning."
(The PP&H starts to spray paint Lifesaver as the Rezolution sprints to the ring.)
MJ:"Fans, we are out of time! Join us next week in Columbus, Ohio, on the campus of Ohio St. for Monday Night Mayhem! For new acting commissioner "Lightning" Scott Baxter, I am Michael Johnson. Goodnight everybody!"
(Scene fades as the Rez and PP&H start to brawl in the ring.)
(Once again firework fire into the Target Center.)
MJ:"We are live here from the Target Center in Minneapolis for another night full of USCW action. We are coming off the heels of Clash Of The Titans and things have never been hotter. RJ Souza is still the World Champion, despite too many people to even count coming to ringside. Sniper didn't come away with the world title, but he and the Click are as dangerous as ever, maybe even more so now. Joining me to sort through all this is wrestling superstar "Lightning" Scott Baxter. LSB, what are your thoughts coming out of the Clash?"
LSB:"Well MJ, there were some things decided at the Clash but we got many more questions than we did answers. Who is now the number one contender for Souza's world title? Can anyone unseat the tag team champs? Does Joe Lifesaver have any chance to make Country Pimp tap out in the match for the US title? And most importantly, what is the condition of the CEO after that exploding package? And who sent it? Is the CEO in any kind of condition to even make the big announcement he promised last week? There are tons of questions to be answered MJ."
MJ:"And we have another amazing night of action for you here tonight. Earlier tonight, El Presidente had a message he wanted to get across. Here is that footage."
(Camera shows El Presidente in his locker room backstage. Next to him is the vacant USCW TV Title belt)
El Presidente: CEO Adams, I am here with request. I will be as polite as possible, but the fans of USCW deserve an honorable man with charisma and pisazz to hold the TV title. It is a disgrace that this belt I once held around my waist has been vacant since the recreation of this federation, man. So tonight, I am asking you to put this belt up for grabs. Since I held this title, I think my match tonight with Tornado is the place to get it started again, man. And if you are not happy with that, then I say let's put myself and three others, one from the Boot Camp Click, one from the Rezolution, and some other jasa in a lumberjack next week, and have the TV Title crowned. The fans deserve to have a champion they can enjoy everyday, man. The fans want to see the law carried out in its fullest, man. Make it happen CEO Adams. Now if you don't mind, Tornado is waiting to see the law carried out. And I'm out!
(Camera Fades out)
MJ:"So El Presidente is looking for the TV title. The TV title is a title he has held in this league in the past and he's ready to fight for it again. It should be interesting to see the CEO's reaction to those comments."
LSB:"I don't what the plans of the CEO are. We'll have to see if they include a TV title match in the near future."
MJ:"Well fans, as you know, Ashley Donnelle, the PP&H manager has been missing for quite some time. I can officially announce now that the search is over. Early tonight, we got this footage from a backstage camera."
("Sweet" Gordy Dix is looking around in the parking lot area of the Target Center. Gordy looks for a while before coming up to the tricked out RV of the Boot Camp Click. He scopes out the immediate area before walking up to the door.)
SGD(opening the door of the RV)- "Ashley, I knew you would be here. Those mother f(bleep)ers didn't hurt you did they?"
AD- "No, everything is fine. I'm just glad to be back with you now."
(Scene closes with SGD and AD in an embrace.)
MJ:"So Ashley is now back with the PP&H."
LSB:"Am I the only one that finds that just a tad too convienent? She's gone all this time, and he simply walks into the Boot Camp Click RV and there she is? The whole thing seems fishy to me."
MJ:"Well, I for one am relieved."
LSB:"I've been around this business for a long time MJ. And I have been the mastermind behind many a plot. And just trust me. Something's not right about this. We'll just have to wait to see what it is."
MJ:"If you are through with your conspiracy theories, we'll get to the first match. Cindy."
CM:"The following contest is set for one fall. Introducing first, weighing in at 237 pounds and hailing from a classified location, Assassin!"
("The Boot Camp Click" by the T-Town Posse plays as Assassin makes his way to the ring.)
CM:"And his opponent, weighing in at 250 pounds and hailing from Omaha, Nebraska, "Blunted" Brandon Banks!"
("For Everybody" by Juvenile blasts over the speakers as Banks strides down to the ring.)
MJ:"We are ready to go here in the first match of the evening. Assassin and Banks circle around the ring. They move to lock up and Banks stops short and nails a right hand. He works Assassin over with a few more punches, the last of which is a big right hand that sends Assassin to the canvas!"
LSB:"Fast start for Banks. He has a street brawling type style where he tries to impose his will on his opponent. So far, so good."
MJ:"Banks brings Assassin to his feet. He whips him into the far side ropes, catches Assassin and slams him down with a big spinebuster! Banks goes for a cover!
1
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
2
.
.
.
.
No! Assassin gets a shoulder up."
LSB:"Banks having his way so far. We'll have to see if Assassin can get something going."
MJ:"Banks brings Assassin to his feet again. He whips him into the corner and follows it in with a big clothesline! Assassin stumbles out of the corner and Banks nails him with a bulldog!"
LSB:"Now Banks is putting the boots to Assassin. He goes for a big stomp to the head but Assassin grabs a foot and trips up Banks! Assassin up quickly and now lays a few boots of his own into Banks!"
MJ:"Assassin brings Banks to his feet and whips him into the ropes. Clothesline from Assassin! That one had a lot of impact! Now Assassin is going to try a cover!
1
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
2
.
.
.
.
.
No! Banks kicks out forcefully."
LSB:"Assassin up quickly again and moves to bring Banks to his feet. But Banks fires an elbow into the midsection of Assassin!"
MJ:"Look at the ramp! The PP&H is coming out! "Sweet" Gordy has a big chain, Q-Tip has has a pipe wrench, El Presidente has a cinder block, and Country Pimp has his bull whip! They are headed to the ring."
LSB:"Meanwhile, in the ring, Banks just nailed his "To The Ceiling" Brainbuster and is about to set Assassin up for Street Justice! But the PP&H just hit the ring! The ref is calling for the bell!"
CM:"You're winner, via disqualification, "Blunted" Brandon Banks!"
MJ:"He may have been the winner tonight, but I don't envy him right now! He just got attacked by all four of the PP&H at once! Oh! Country Pimp cracked him across the back with that bullwhip!"
LSB:"That's going to leave a mark! Banks is down and El Presidente just set the cinder block down in the ring. "Sweet" Gordy picks up banks and nails a DDT onto the cinder block! Oh my goodness!"
MJ:"Banks is busted open and bleeding in the ring! Gordy just took a mic."
(As Gordy grabs the mic, The Country Pimp spraypaints PP&H on the back of the downed Banks.)
SGD:"Banks! You just got blunted bitch!!!! There is no way in hell the SWEETNESS and the rest of the PP&H are going to let some greenhorn try to make a name for himself in our league. Souza!!!!! You better not even think of giving this asshole a title shot before I get mine!!!"
(Throws down the mic but sees that Sniper and Mercenary have made there way to ringside to help Assasssin. SGD walks back and picks up the mic.)
SGD- "Bootcamp Click!!!! You are the only son of a bitches besides the PP&H who don't care what people think about you. I like that! Even though I can't stand you, I have to respect that! This had nothing to do with you, so step aside if you don't want any trouble."
(The PP&H hop out of the ring and make their way to the back. Each group stares the other down as they carefully walk around each other as the groups pass. Sniper and Mercenary slide into the ring to join Assassin who is back on his feet now. Those three then head to the back as medical personel come out to check on Brandon Banks.)
LSB:"Don't the Boot Camp Click and the PP&H usually go after each other?"
MJ:"Well, the numbers weren't in their favor. They'll probably try to get them back later. Brandon Banks comes away with a victory here but pays a stiff price at the hands of the PP&H. Fans, we're going to take a short break as they make sure Banks is ok."
MJ:"Welcome back fans. The ringside area is now clear and we are ready for our second match. Let's take it down to Cindy."
CM:"The following contest is set for one fall. Introducing first, weighing in at 245 pounds and hailing from Havana, Cuba, El Presidente!"
(The "Scarface" theme plays El Presidente and The First Lady make their way to the ring. El Presidente takes one last puff from his cigar and hands it to The First Lady for safekeeping.)
CM:"And his opponent, weighing at 207 pounds and hailing from Newark, New Jersey, Tornado O'Conner!"
("When Worlds Collide" plays as Tornado jogs to the ring and slides in, ready to go.)
MJ:"Alright fans, we are ready to go here in this matchup of two wrestlers who have had some success here in the USCW."
LSB:"El Presidente wants the CEO to bring back the TV title. Maybe if he is impressive here, the CEO will consider it."
MJ:"The bell rings and Tornado starts out quickly with a standing dropkick! It knocks El Presidente backwards and Tornado gets a running start and takes El Presidente down with a flying headscissors! El Presidente quickly rolls to the outside and starts to chat with The First Lady."
LSB:"Tornado is very quick. El Presidente will have to adjust to that quickly to gain an advantage in this match."
MJ:"Looks like El Pres is ready to slide back in now. The two men circle each other for a second and El Pres jumps in and locks up. He scoops up the smaller O'Conner and brings him down with a huge backbreaker! That move carried a lot of impact."
LSB:"Tornado is going to have to play to his strengths avoid situations like that."
MJ:"El Pres picks Tornado up and puts him into a Torture Rack! He's ready pulling down hard and putting a lot of pressure on the back of Tornado O'Conner!"
LSB:"That kind of move almost looks like it could break the smaller man in two. Finally, El Pres lets go and Tornado crashes to the mat."
MJ:"El Presidente has him up again now, sets him up and nails a piledriver! Here's a cover!
1
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
2
.
.
.
.
.
No! Tornado squirms free and gets a shoulder up."
LSB:"I'm surprized he got out of that one."
MJ:"El Pres gets to his feet and Tornado rolls to the other side of the ring and pops up. El Presidente charges over for a clothesline but it's ducked by O'Conner! El Pres bounces off the ropes and Tornado hits him with a back elbow! Standing side kick floors El Presidente! And now Tornado is headed up top. He waits for El Presidente to get to his feet and nails him with a missile drop kick! Here's the cover!
1
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
2
.
.
.
.
.
.
No! El Presidente kicks out!"
LSB:"And now look at The First Lady. She isn't too happy with how this match is progressing so far. She just hopped up on the apron and is yelling at Tornado! The ref and Tornado are both over there now. The ref is trying to get The First Lady off the apron."
MJ:"All this commotion is giving El Presidente some time to recover. It looks like The First Lady is finally going to hop off the apron."
LSB:"But look at that! As soon as the ref and O'Conner turned around, The First Lady hopped right back up, and put out El Presidente's cigar on Tornado's shoulder! She quickly hops back town as O'Conner turns around and yells out in pain!"
MJ:"El Presidente is up now! He sees O'Conner facing the ropes and get a running start. He jumps over the ropes feet first and grabs O'Conner's head on the way over and delivers a stunner across the top rope! He calls that move The Bay Of Pigs!"
LSB:"Tornado is down and out in the ring now. El Presidente climbs back up on the apron and is headed to the top turnbuckle! It could be..., yes it is! The Cuban Missile Crisis legdrop from El Presidente!"
MJ:"He dropped his leg across the throat of Tornado from the top! He's a cover!
1
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
2
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
3!!!! El Presidente gets the three count!"
CM:"Your winner, via pinfall, El Presidente!"
MJ:"El Presidente grabs a win for the PP&H, with a little help from The First Lady."
LSB:"We'll have to see if the CEO thinks this was an impressive enough win to bring back the TV title."
(El Presidente and The First Lady make their way to the back as the "Scarface" theme plays again.)
MJ:"Well fans, that brings us to a big tag team matchup between Thunderbolt Lightfoot and Sweardog McKrackin of the Rez versus "Sweet" Gordy Dix and Q-Tip Callahan of the PP&H. This is an ongoing rivalry. "Sweet" Gordy managed an underhanded win over Thunderbolt at Clash Of The Titans but was later cost the tag team titles when attacked by Thunderbolt. Q-Tip Callahan has been clamoring for a rematch with Sweardog McCrackin for weeks now, after Sweardog managed a win in their first encounter. Let's take it down to Cindy for the introductions."
CM:"The following contest is set for one fall. Introducing first, representing the PP&H, "Sweet" Gordy Dix and Q-Tip Callahan!"
(SGD walks down the entrance ramp pushing a young man in a wheelchair. QTIP is carrying a bag of some sorts with a big red ribbon on it. SGD picks the kid up out of the wheelchair and all 3 enter the ring where SGD is tossed a mic.)
SGD:"In case some of you people haven't heard, there was a vicious shark attack off of the Mississippi Gulf Coast earlier this summer."
(Pointing towards the kid.)
SGD:"This kid, Charles Samsonite, has evoked in me so much courage, emotion, and determination in his fight for survival and rehabilitation that I would like to make him an honorary member of the PP&H."
(At this time Ashley Donnelle, Big Jim, Country Pimp, and El Presidente come from the locker room and give young Charles a PP&H shirt.)
MJ:"What do you make of this LSB?"
(Baxter just stares blankly and shakes his head.)
SGD:(Throwing him the shirt)"Here you go kid. Youth Large just like you wanted. And just to show all of my fans and naysayers out there how big my heart, and wallet both are, I went out and got the kid a present. QTIP, go ahead and give him the gift."
(QTIP gives young Charles the large bag and it is opened to reveal a pair of prosthetic legs.)
SGD:"Yes sir. Those are $50,000 titanium legs and they have been autographed by each one of the PP&H. I hope you enjoy them!!!! And I have another gift for you as well.....we're going to let you sit ringside in your wheelchair for this next match with the rest of the PP&H. Ashley, keep an eye on my little buddy while the SWEETNESS and QTIP TCOB!!!!!!!"
CM:"And their opponents, respresenting The Rezolution, Smackin' Sweardog McCrackin and Thunderbolt Lightfoot!"
(The theme of the Rez plays as the leader of The Rezolution and the Native American giant make their way down to the ring. They slide into the ring, eyeing PP&H at ringside as the Country Pimp comes over and sits at the announcers's booth with MJ and LSB.)
MJ:"Well, it looks like we will be welcoming the Country Pimp to the broadcast. Pimp, what is the deal with kid Charles?"
CP:"You heard Gordy. He's a sensitive guy. Cares about the needs of others. I think losing Ashley for a while may have changed him. He is sucessful and wants to give back to other less fortunate than himself."
LSB:"MJ, what's today's date?"
MJ:"September 13th, why?"
(Baxter stares at the Country Pimp skeptically.)
LSB:"Just wanted to make sure it wasn't April."
MJ:"Well, you have to say he made good here with the donation of prosthetic legs to this accident victim."
LSB:"Did he make good with a cinder block DDT earlier tonight?"
CP:"Watch it Baxter. Put your nose where it doesn't belong and you'll be the next one getting PP&H spray painted on you."
(Baxter mumbles something under his breath.)
CP:"What?"
LSB:"Sorry, something in my throat."
CP:"I got a good guess what that might be."
LSB:"I got a good guess what about to be in......."
(MJ interupts.)
MJ:"Hey, we have a match to broadcast here fellas. And it's ready to go. It looks like Q-Tip and Sweardog will start things out. The two men lock up and the larger Q-Tip grabs him and whips Sweardog into the ropes. Sweardog bounces back and there's a big clothesline from Q-Tip!"
CP:"That's the way this whole match is going to go. PP&H dominating the whole way."
MJ:"Sweardog is back up quickly and he blocks a right hand from Q-Tip, before delivering one of his own that staggers the PP&H member. Sweardog fires another shot off, and another, before whipping Q-Tip to the ropes. Sweardog looks for a big boot, but Q-Tip ducks it and turns Sweardog around, kicking him in the gut and then nailing him with a DDT! He goes for a cover!
1
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
2
.
.
No! Sweardog kicks out."
LSB:"Q-Tip has really wanted a piece of Sweardog for a while and it shows."
MJ:"Q-Tip reaches down and lifts Sweardog up, before bringing him over to the corner where Gordy is waiting. The tag is made, and Gordy enters the ring, delivering a boot to the side of Sweardog. Gordy picks him up and executes a go-behind, looking to hit a german suplex but Sweardog blocks it and rushes forwards, pushing both himself and Gordy into the ropes, and then rebounding off, falling backwards to roll Gordy up!
1
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
2
.
.
Gordy powers his way out of the rollup."
CP:"Weak stuff like that won't hold the Sweetness down."
MJ:"Gordy is up quickly and nails Sweardog with a series of jabs. Sweardog is stunned and Gordy drops to one knee to go for a big low blow but Sweardog manages to slide out of the way at the last second! He is quickly over and makes the tag to Lightfoot!"
LSB:"Now we'll see who's dominating who."
MJ:"Dix sees the tag and is quickly over to make a tag to Q-Tip. Callahan is in now against the big man."
CP:"Gordy lets Q-Tip take care of his light work."
MJ:"The two men circle for a minute before Lightfoot locks up and pushes Q-Tip back into the corner. He drops down and nails Q-Tip with some shoulders. He tries another shoulder but Q-Tip drops down out of the way and Lightfoot rams the turnbuckle. Q-Tip grabs him with a schoolboy rollup!
1
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
2
.
.
.
.
No! Thunderbolt frees himself and is quickly up to his feet. He meets Q-Tip with a powerful clothesline as Q-Tip first gets up. He brings Q-Tip over to the corner and tags in Sweardog. Sweardog grabs Q-Tip by the head and delivers a series of viscious knee shots. They last one drops Q-Tip and Sweardog goes for a cover.
1
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
2
.
.
.
.
.
.
No! Gordy comes from across the ring and kicks Sweardog off!"
LSB:"An entertaining match so far. But not exactly all PP&H like you said Pimp."
CP:"Everything will turn out alright in the end."
MJ:"The ref gets Gordy to leave as Sweardog brings Q-Tip to his feet."
LSB:"Look at this! It's the Boot Camp Click! They are running down to ringside!"
MJ:"I told you they would get revenge on the PP&H!"
LSB:"Pimp, aren't you going to help?"
(The Boot Camp Click runs down to little Charles at ringside and shoves over his wheelchair! They grab the bag with his prosthetic legs and slide into the ring.)
MJ:"The ref is calling for the bell already! He wants no part of this! Sniper has one of the prosthetic legs and is heading towards "Sweet" Gordy!"
LSB:"Here comes Dr. Thanatos, Jeff Rodeo, and Joe Lifesaver from the back!"
MJ:"But Sniper doesn't hit Gordy! The two smile at each other! And now Sniper cracks Sweardog with the prosthetic leg! And Assassin hits Thunderbolt Lightfoot with the other one! The PP&H and the Bootcamp Click are working together! What kind of unholy alliance is this?"
CP:"I think my services are needed now gentlemen. Have a great day."
LSB:"I knew it! I knew something was fishy with all of this!"
MJ:"And now the Rezolution is hopelessly outnumbered! They have the members of both the Click and the PP&H attacking them!"
LSB:"Thunderbolt and Sweardog are really getting worked over in the ring! And here come the spraypaint cans again!"
MJ:"El Presidente, Country Pimp, Assassin, Mercenary, and Big Jim are keeping the Rezolution at bay while Gordy, Q-Tip, and Sniper are all over Lightfoot and Sweardog in the ring. Now Sniper and Gordy take turns painting PP&H and BCC on both Thunderbolt and Sweardog. This is a sad state of affairs."
LSB:"This has been a night of the "Bad Guys" of the USCW. If the Boot Camp Click and PP&H are really on the same page now, it could spell serious trouble for the rest of the league. Of course, they could just be doing this just tonight to get at the REZ."
MJ:"And now finally the PP&H and Boot Camp Click are leaving to go the back as the rest of the REZ slides in to check on their two fallen teammates. And look at this! Sniper and "Sweet" Gordy take the time to stop and laugh as the little kid Charles scrambles to get back in his wheelchair! How heartless can you be!"
LSB:"In the case of these two men, nothing surprizes me any more."
MJ:"I'm hearing the official ruling of that match is a No Contest. Fans, we are going to take one last break to get ready for our main event, a submission match between the Country Pimp and "The Medic" Joe Lifesaver for the US Heavyweight Championship! Stay tuned."
(Scene fades as the REZ helps Charles then thelps Thunderbolt and Sweardog to the back.)
MJ:"Welcome back fans. After that horrible display I can barely go on here tonight. But we have two more big events for you. And one is a message from the CEO. He recorded it earlier, and wanted it played here tonight."
(The jumbotron cuts on to reveal a picture of the CEO. But he is not in the usual Armani suit you are used too, but laying in a hospital bed with a white gown on. There are bandages over most of his hands and arms, and over one of his eyes. After a moment of silence, he begins to speak in a pained tone.)
Adams:"I hate to have to come to you like this tonight, but I don't have much choice. You all witnessed the explosion at my Jackson home. The blast gave me severe burns on my hands and arms and a piece of something from the blast hit my right eye and is threatening my vision in that eye."
(The crowd gasps as it realizes the extent of the injuries.)
Adams:"But I will not let this interfere with the duties of the league. As evidence from the multiple attacks already on this show, the USCW is in need of guidance. And it will get it. That is part of what I would like to talk about tonight. While I recover from my injuries, I will be forced to be away from USCW shows. Until I recover enough to start traveling with the show, I am naming an acting commisioner who will have full power in my absense. And that commisioner is......."Lightning" Scott Baxter."
(The crowd goes crazy with this announcement.)
Adams:"Effective beginning next week, he will have booking duties, and will be the final say in all matters dealing with the league, including suspensions."
MJ:"Wow LSB. Can I have a raise?"
LSB:"You're going to be lucky to be employed at all."
Adams:"And for my other announcement. As my last act in charge until I return, I am setting a match for the next pay per view event, USCW Annihilation! On that card, there will be a Stable War! One big match to once and for all determine where the power lies in this federation. Four teams of four men apiece. The PP&H will have a team. The Rezolution will have a team. The Boot Camp Click will have a team. And RJ Souza's Criminal Nation will have a team. One man from each team will start out in the ring and a new man from each team will run down every five minutes. You can be eliminated by being pinned, submitted, or thrown over the top rope and to the floor. I hope you fans will enjoy that one. I will go now, I will back as soon as I can, but my injuries are rather severe. And one more thing. I WILL find out who sent that package. And when I do, there will be hell to pay. That is all."
(The scene goes black.)
MJ:"Wow, he wasn't kidding about big announcements. You, partner, are the acting commissioner. Plus a huge match at Annihilation. But before we get to all that, we do have one really big match left here tonight. Let's take it down to Cindy."
CM:"The following contest is a submission match and is for the United State Heavyweight Championship! Introducing first, weighing in at 235 pounds and hailing from New York, New York, "The Medic", Joe Lifesaver!"
("Move Bitch" by Ludacris plays as the Medic struts to the ring and slides in.)
CM:"And his opponent, weighing in at 380 pounds and hailing from Monterey, Louisiana, the Country Pimp!"
("A Country Boy Can Survive" plays as Country Pimp walks down to the ring. Big Jim is with him. The Pimp is wearing blue jeans with a black t-shirt with PP&H on the front and "Joe C**ksucker is my Bitch!" on the back. He hands Big Jim his bullwhip and steps up and over the top rope into the ring.)
MJ:"Well fans, as you heard Cindy Maxwell say this is a submission match. The first man to make the other tap out or pass out is the winner."
LSB:"As I said last week, I believe this is a big advantage for Country Pimp."
MJ:"We'll see how it works out as the bell rings and we are once again underway. Lifesaver and Country Pimp lock up and Pimp scoops him up and plants him with a powerslam in the middle of the ring! Country Pimp is up and begins to play to the crowd a little bit."
LSB:"We're used to seeing that MJ."
MJ:"The Pimp has a very deliberate style that comes across as extremely cocky."
LSB:"That's because it is. Country Pimp picks the Medic up and whips him into the ropes. Big boot from the Pimp! Lifesaver goes down. The Pimp picks him up and puts him in an abdominal stretch! He's really cranking it, trying to get Lifesaver to tap out."
MJ:"Lifesaver refuses and finally the Pimp lets him go."
LSB:"The Medic is a tough guy. It will take a lot for him to tap out."
MJ:"The Pimp moves to pick Lifesaver up again and this time Lifesaver rolls out of the way and grabs a leg of the Pimp and takes him down. He keep a hold of the leg and rolls the Pimp into a single leg crab! Nice move."
LSB:"It looks like Lifesaver has been practicising his submission wrestling."
MJ:"He torques on the Pimp's leg but the Pimp fights over and grabs the ropes. The ref forces Lifesaver to break the hold."
LSB:"Now both men are back on their feet and move to lock up again. This time Lifesaver with a kick to the gut. He grabs the Pimp's head and delivers a series of knees. He tries one more knee but this time the Pimp grabs the leg, picks the Medic up and slams him down with a big spinebuster!"
MJ:"The Pimp picks Lifesaver up and is locking him in the Full Nelson!"
LSB:"Look, coming down the ramp. It's "Wild Dog" Williamson! What is he doing here. He has a microphone."
MJ:"The Pimp just slammed Lifesaver down face first and is locking in the Bull Ride!"
Williamson:"Hey! This match shouldn't even be for the US title! I was in that Four Way and nobody beat me!"
MJ:"Lifesaver is tapping out!"
CM:"Your winnner, via submission, and NEW United States Heavyweight Champion, Country Pimp!"
Williamson:"You are not the champ! When did you beat me?"
(The rest of the PP&H comes running from the back. Williamson jumps into the crowd and heads through the back. The Pimp grabs a mic as the rest of the PP&H slides into the ring.)
Country Pimp:"Does anybody even know who that was? As soon as I figure out who you are, I'll whip your ass along with everybody else. The PP&H are coming for all the titles! This is just the beginning."
(The PP&H starts to spray paint Lifesaver as the Rezolution sprints to the ring.)
MJ:"Fans, we are out of time! Join us next week in Columbus, Ohio, on the campus of Ohio St. for Monday Night Mayhem! For new acting commissioner "Lightning" Scott Baxter, I am Michael Johnson. Goodnight everybody!"
(Scene fades as the Rez and PP&H start to brawl in the ring.)