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Famous Last Words
"This 'telephone' has too many shortcomings to be seriously considered as a means of communication. The device is inherently of no value to us." -- Western Union internal memo, 1876. "The wireless music box has no imaginable commercial value. Who would pay for a message sent to nobody in particular?" -- David Sarnoff's associates in response to his urgings for investment in the radio in the 1920s "We don't like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out." -- Decca Recording Co. rejecting the Beatles, 1962. "So we went to Atari and said, 'Hey, we've got this amazing thing, even built with some of your parts, and what do you think about funding us? Or we'll give it to you. We just want to do it. Pay our salary, we'll come work for you.' And they said, 'No.' So then we went to Hewlett-Packard, and they said, 'Hey, we don't need you. You haven't got through college yet.'" -- Apple Computer Inc. founder Steve Jobs on attempts to get Atari and H-P interested in his and Steve Wozniak's personal computer. "Drill for oil? You mean drill into the ground to try and find oil? You're crazy." -- Drillers whom Edwin L. Drake tried to enlist in his project to drill for oil in 1859. "No flying machine will ever fly from New York to Paris." -- Orville Wright. "Airplanes are interesting toys but of no military value." -- Marechal Ferdinand Foch, Professor of Strategy, Ecole Superieure de Guerre. Gee, that's a cute tattoo. It's fireproof. What does this button do? So, you're a cannibal. Are you sure the power is off? Pull the pin and count to what? Which wire was I supposed to cut? I wonder where the mother bear is. I've seen this done on TV. These are the good kind of mushrooms. . I'll hold it and you light the fuse. You look just like Charles Manson Let it down slowly. OK, I'll go ahead and make your day. This doesn't taste right. I can make this light before it changes I can do that with my eyes closed look ma! no hands! Hey that's not a violin. Don't be so superstitious. Now watch this. "Luke, I lied. Bill Shatner is your real father." -- Darth Vader "A-four and a-three and a-two and a-one..." -- Lawrence Welk "Don't worry about the Rover. That's no cliff." -- NASA techie "And now that I'm running my life support equipment through Windows 95, I'll never have to worry about-- beeeeeeeep..." "I eat guys like you for breakfast!" -- Jeffrey Dahmer "Here I sit all broken-hearted..." -- Elvis Presley "How's he gonna read that magazine rolled up like that?" -- insect "No, dude, this stuff is completely natural and safe, man. That's why it's called 'herbal.'" "Dammit, Lizzie, get off your fat lazy ass and cut me some firewood!" -- Mr. Borden "How many frickin' times do I have to say, 'In the form of a question', people?!?" -- Alex Trebek "Yoko, why don't *you* try to sing one?" "Took your parking space??? Well at least *I* didn't murder my wife and an innocent waiter!" "Gotti, Schmotti -- Get the Hell off my lawn!" Don't worry, I'm sure it's dead by now. Let's split up, we'll cover more ground. I dunno, press the button and find out. Hello, is anyone home? Oops. Don't worry, it's not contagious. Awright, let's see, how do we work this thing? Trust me, I know what I'm doing. He can't hear us, he's miles away I'll be right back. I'm sure this isn't the poisonous kind. Don't worry, we outnumber them. Hey, what the hell??! Hey, what's that beeping sound? I'm sure it's just the wind. Of course it's safe! No, this tribe is peaceful! No, I'm sure they cleaned out this mine field years ago. Safety harness? Wait, I thought he was with you! What greencard? Hey, what's this switch? Don't move, you'll trip the sensors. Yes, I'm single. No, this cannot be, I am invincible! So, you're sure this isn't loaded? Calm down, of course I disarmed it! What, I never signed any organ donor papers! Well, it can't get any worse! C'mon! This CAN'T be the self-destruct button. If it was, they wouldn't leave it lying around like this where anyone could push it! Don't worry, they'll never find us in here! William, is that you? They can't hit us at this range! All you have to do is connect these two wires. There's only one way to find out... Hey, when it comes to driving on snow and ice, I'm the best there is. These pills are awfully small.. I'll take a few more to be sure they work. Stupid safety labels... No, no, these are safe, I've seen birds eat them all the time. Watch, I'll prove it! Blast off! Nah, they're blanks. Speaking of lost, where are we? Wheeeeeeeeee! I know this great shortcut we can take. Is that what I think it is? What? Everyone knows the Titanic is unsinkable. For God's sake, Kris, it was just a cheesecake No, no, no, let me fix it! Well, gentlemen, you are about to see a baked Appel. Executed in electric chair in New York. ~~ George Appel, d. 1928. You are going to hurt me, please don't hurt me, just one more moment, I beg you! Guillotined. ~~ Madame du Barry, mistress of Louis XV, d. 1793 I am going to be face to face with Jesus now. . . . I love you all very much. I will see you all when you get there. . . . I will wait for you. Executed by injection, Texas. ~~ Karla Faye Tucker Brown, d. February 3, 1998 Take a step forward, lads. It will be easier that way. Executed by firing squad. ~~ Erskine Childers, Irish patriot, d. November 24, 1922 Thank you for the change in my life you have given me, the love and closeness of my family and my beautiful daughter. Thank you for using me... Executed by injection, Texas. ~~ John Cockrum, d. September 30, 1997 I'm going home, babe. Executed by injection, Delaware. ~~ James Allen Red Dog, d. March 3, 1993 Remember, the death penalty is murder. Executed by injection, Texas. ~~ Robert Drew, d. August 2, 1994. Hurrah for anarchy! This is the happiest moment of my life. Last words on the gallows. ~~ George Engel (He was one of four executed after the 1886 Haymarket bombing in Chicago) I love you. Spoken to the executioner. Executed by injection, New York. ~~ Sean Flannagan, d. June 23, 1989. How about this for a headline for tomorrow's paper? French fries. Executed in electric chair in Oklahoma. ~~ James French, d. 1966 I'd like to thank my family for loving me and taking care of me. And the rest of the world can kiss my ass. Executed by injection, Texas. ~~ Johnny Frank Garrett, Sr., d. February 11, 1992. Let's do it! Executed by firing squad, Utah. ~~ Gary Gilmore, d. January 17, 1977 I'd rather be fishing. Executed in electric chair, Louisiana. ~~ Jimmy Glass, d. June 12, 1987. Good people are always so sure they're right. Executed at San Quentin. ~~ Barbara Graham, d. June 3, 1955 I did not get my Spaghetti-O's, I got spaghetti. I want the press to know this. Executed by injection, Oklahoma. ~~ Thomas J. Grasso, d. March 20, 1995. Lock and load. Let's do it. Executed by injection, Texas. ~~ G. W. Green, d. November 12, 1991 You can be a king or a street sweeper, but everyone dances with the Grim Reaper. Executed in California's gas chamber. ~~ Robert Alton Harris, d. April 21, 1992. It is the duty of every good officer to obey any orders given him by his commander-in-chief. (Actual) Shot by British as a spy. ~~ Nathan Hale, American hero, d. 1776 I am innocent, innocent, innocent. Make no mistake about this. I owe society nothing. I am an innocent man and something very wrong is taking place tonight. Executed by injection, Texas. ~~ Lionel Herrera d. May 12, 1993. I don't hold any grudges. This is my doing. Sorry it happened. Executed in electric chair, Indiana. ~~ Steven Judy, d. March 9, 1981 Such is Life Executed by hanging. ~~ Ned Kelly, Australian bushranger, d. 1880 I love you, mom. Executed by injection, Texas. ~~ Clarence Lackey, d. May 20, 1997 Farewell, my children, forever. I go to your Father. Executed by guillotine. Monsieur, I beg your pardon. Spoken to the executioner, after she stepped on his foot. ~~ Marie Antoinette, Queen of France, d. October 16, 1793 Today is a good day to die. I forgive all of you. I hope God does too. Executed by injection, Texas. ~~ Mario Benjamin Murphy, d. September 17, 1997 So the heart be right, it is no matter which way the head lieth. Executed by beheading. ~~ Sir Walter Raleigh, d. October 29, 1618. Well, the Lord is going to get another one. Executed in electric chair, Georgia. ~~ John Eldon Smith, d. December 15, 1983 Capital punishment: them without the capital get the punishment. Executed in electric chair, Florida. ~~ John Spenkelink, d. May 25, 1979 Adios. Executed by injection in Maryland. ~~ John Thanos, d. May 16, 1994 I consider myself the luckiest man on the face of the earth.. ~~ Gehrig, Lou - Farewell to baseball, 1939. I have sacrificed all of my interests to those of the country. I go, but you, my friends, will continue to serve France. Her happiness was my only thought. It will still be the object of my wishes. Do not regret my fate; if I have consented to survive, it is to serve your glory. ~~ Bonaparte, Napoleon, Emperor of France - Farewell to the Old Guard, 1814 My mother thanks you. My father thanks you. My sister thanks you. And I thank you. ~~ Cohan, George M. Cohan - Vaudeville Act Farewell I have found it impossible to carry the heavy burden of responsibility . . . without the help and support of the woman I love. ~~ Edward VIII, King of England - Abdication speech, 1936 We must guard against the acquisition of unwarranted influence, whether sought or unsought, by the military-industrial complex. ~~ Eisenhower, Dwight D., U.S. President - Farewell to the nation, 1961 It is true that a house divided against itself is a house that cannot stand. There is a division in the American house now and believing this as I do, I have concluded that I should not permit the Presidency to become involved in the partisan divisions that are now developing this political year. Accordingly, I shall not seek, and I will not accept, the nomination of my party for another term as President. ~~ Johnson, Lyndon Baines - Announcement not to seek re-election, 1968 Just think how much you're gonna be missing. You don't have Nixon to kick around anymore. ~~ Nixon, Richard M., California politician - Concession speech and farewell, 1962. With a heart full of love and gratitude, I now take leave of you. I most devoutly wish that your later days may be as prosperous and happy as your former ones have been glorious and honorable. I cannot--I cannot come to each of you but shall feel obliged if each of you will come and take me by the hand. ~~ Washington, George, General - Farewell to his officers, 1783 THE FOLLOWING ARE FICTIONAL FAREWELLS E.T. "I'll be right here." (after touching Elliot's forehead with his fingertip) Movie: E.T., The Extraterrestrial, 1982 Blaine, Richard "Rick" (actor - Humphrey Bogart) "Isla, I'm no good at being noble, but it doesn't take much to see that the problems of three little people don't amount to a hill of beans in this crazy world. Some day you'll understand that. Now, now. Here's looking at you kid." Movie: Casablanca, 1942v Butler, Rhett (actor - Clark Gable) "Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn!" - movie "My dear, I don't give a damn!" - book Movie: Gone With the Wind, 1939 Dubois, Blanche "I have always depended on the kindness of strangers." (as she is taken off to an institution) Drama: A Streetcar Named Desire by Tennessee Williams, 1947 "Where are you guys going?" Wait a minute? I'll remember this! I'll remember everyone of ya! I'll be back; don't you forget that. I'll be back." Movie: On the Waterfront, 1954 Helmer, Nora "Now that life together between us two could become a marriage. Goodbye." Play: A Doll's House by Henrik Ibsen, 1879 Joad, Tom (actor - Henry Fonda) "I'll be ever'where--wherever you look. Wherever they's a fight so hungry people can eat, I'll be there. Wherever they's a cop beatin' up a guy, I'll be there. If Casy knowed, why, I'll be in the way guys yell when they're mad an'--I'll be in the way kids laugh when they're hungry an' they know supper's ready. An' when our folks eat the stuff they raise an' live in the houses they build--why, I'll be there. See?" - book Well, maybe it's like Casy says. A fella ain't got a soul of his own, just a little piece of a big soul - the one big soul that belongs to ever'body. Then...then, it don't matter. I'll be all around in the dark. I'll be ever' where - wherever you can look. Wherever there's a fight so hungry people can eat, I'll be there. Wherever there's a cop beatin' up a guy, I'll be there. I'll be in the way guys yell when they're mad - I'll be in the way kids laugh when they're hungry an' they know supper's ready. An' when the people are eatin' the stuff they raise, and livin' in the houses they build - I'll be there, too. - movie Novel: The Grapes of Wrath by John Steinbeck, 1939 Movie: The Grapes of Wrath, 1940 THE FOLLOWING ARE FICTIONAL FAREWELLS Lecter, Hannibal "the Cannibal" (actor - Anthony Hopkins) Movie: "I do wish we could chat longer, but I'm having an old friend for dinner. Bye." Novel: "I have no plans to call on you Clarice, the world being more interesting with you in it. Be sure to extend me the same courtesy. I have windows. Orion is above the horizon now, and near it Jupiter, brighter than it will ever be again before the year 2000. (I have no intention of telling you the time and how high it is.) But I expect you can see it too. Some of our stars are the same. Clarice. -- Hannibal Lecter Novel: The Silence of the Lambs by Thomas Harris, 1988 Movie: The Silence of the Lambs, 1991 Spade, Sam (actor - Humphrey Bogart) "Yes, Angel, I'm going to send you over. The chances are you'll get off with life. That means if you're a good girl, you'll be out in twenty years. I'll be waiting for you. If they hang you, I'll always remember you." - to Brigid O'Shaughnessy (Mary Astor) when turning her over to the police Movie: The Maltese Falcon from Dashiell Hammet's 1929 novel Starret, Joey (actor - Brandon de Wilde) "Pa's got things for you to do, and Mother wants you. I know she does. Shane. Shane. Come back. Bye, Shane." - movie Movie: Shane, 1953 Book: Shane by Jack Shaefer The Time Traveler "Really and truly I do. I only want half an hour. I know why you came, and it's awfully good of you. There's some magazines here. If you'll stop to lunch I'll prove you this time traveling up to the hilt, specimen and all. If you'll forgive my leaving you now?" Novel: The Time Machine, H.G. Wells, 1895 THE FOLLOWING ARE ALL EPITAPHS Alexander the Great A tomb now suffices for him whom the world was not enough King Arthur (Here lies Arthur, the once and future king.) Barker, Kate "Ma" The Perfect night, Shall end In bright Day. Beery, Wallace No Man Is Indispensable But Some Are Irreplaceable William Bligh Sacred To The Memory Of William Bligh, Esquire F.R.S. Vice Admiral Of The Blue, The Celebrated Navigator Who First Transplanted The Breadfruit Tree From Otahette To The West Indies, Bravely fought The Battles Of His Country And Died Beloved, Respected, And Lamented On The 7th Day Of December, 1817 Aged 64 Bong, Richard Ira America's Ace of Aces Brooke, Rupert If I should die, think only this of me: That there's some corner of a foreign field That is for ever England. Camp, Walter The Father of American Football Castlereagh, Viscount Robert Stewart Posterity will ne'er survey a nobler grave than this. Her lie the bones of Castlereagh Stop, traveler, and piss. Don't be silly, it isn't loaded. I CAN FLY! Trust me, I know what I'm doing. Yes, the barrel of your shotgun is very clean. Whats in this dark cave ? "Oh, they're free? I'll take ten!" - Moses "Hmm, Russia looks like a safe bet!" Hitler "Bet you can't do this." "I can't believe no one has ever thought of this before." "Oh, I'm sick of sitting round in the White House - fancy seeing a play?" - Abraham Lincoln "Trust me, I'm on your side." "I swear I shut the door when I left" "Thats funny, I remember seeing the same guy on Americas Most Wanted" "Lightning never hits the same spot twice" "Were home free" "Thats odd!" "Hey ya'll, watch this!" |
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++Elizabeth. 15. red hair. green eyes. ga. single. may 5. ++loves: friends, shopping, autumn, scotland, ireland, braveheart, scottish romance novels. ++hates: ketchup, things getting near my eyes, alarm clocks, spiders. |