Top Ten Most Attractive Female Students: Revised


      Since it has come to my attention that my prior guide was basically crap, I’m come up with a
revision. The totally subjective guide to the most attractive students of the female persuasion within the
hallowed halls of Gates-Chili High School no longer represents my distorted fatigue induced delusions but
actually represents a clear thought process (and poor planning. If you hadn’t noticed this sentence
particularly sucks). Ain’t (which isn’t a word by the way) it great? Of course, if any of you disagree or
think you should be on here, by all means, make your opinion known. And now the moment you’ve all
been waiting for:

The Top Ten Most Attractive Female Students: A Totally Subjective Guide:

10. Milena (I don’t know her last name) – All’s I know about her is that she is physically attractive. I hear
that she can be a pain in the ass at times and therefore she’s number ten.

9. Dezirae Rague – I truly don’t know her at all, except for the fact that she’s in my physics class and was
in my Bio class 2 years ago. I must say she is very enticing and appears to be bright but not that bright.
Other than that I don’t really know much about her on account of me being such a loser and all.

8. Andrea Carrozziere – Although I don’t know her very well (at all), she is very attractive. To compliment
her comely appearance she also seems nice. And she may be somewhat intelligent. I don’t really know, I
think she was in one (or more) of those phase 3 classes in 8th grade, my memory of those horrid times is
kind of hazy so I’m not sure.

7. Terri Clar – Another lovely lady that I had neglected to add to the first list that truly deserved a place in
this illustrious ranking. Everything I know about her is based on my 9th grade art class, where I sat near her,
I think. First off, she’s very fetching, quite close to perfection, actually. Next, I know that she’s a nice
person and has a good sense of humor. I also think she’s above average intelligence, even if just slightly.

6. Jen Rotoli – A very attractive female indeed. Physically, she is the epitome of perfection, yet she seems
to lack some much-needed intelligence, which is really unfortunate.

5. Candice Smith – She’s quite the looker indeed, which lands her this spot. I think she has a good
personality and about average intelligence, but, of course, the basis for this is 7th grade science class. I also
think she has a good sense of humor, though I may be wrong.

4. Kelly Di Cesare – An attractive young lady who one is one year younger than I, I think. Though I don’t
speak to her very often (only once this year), I do know she is a rather entertaining person and is also
intelligent. Her personality is of the utmost quality and filled with much buoyancy. She truly deserves the
#3 position, heck, maybe even higher.

3. Jamal Sarkis aka The Hot Spanish Chick – How could I have forgotten this buxom beauty? Luckily, my
pal (what a queer word) Lucas quickly pointed out my oversight and she is now #3. I don’t really have
much to say except she’s hot and looks Spanish (thus the nickname, even though she is greek, or so I'm told). She seems nice too.

2. Jen Vocco – This lovely vixen has lunch the same time as I do. I don’t really know much about her
except that her beauty rivals even the most attractive of models and that she’s quite modest, denying any
allegations of her being the least bit attractive. Did I mention she also plays JV basketball? Her only
deterrent is her age, which isn’t so bad; she’s 16, that’s not that young, is it?

1. Sam Vos – I’m certain there’s no need for an explanation, but I’ll go ahead anyway. Though she is not
perfect physically, she is very beautiful, as much as to say I’d take her over anyone with a bigger bust or
lack of morality (meaning easy). And anyway, imperfections are what make people unique, hell, if
everyone were perfect we wouldn’t need each other, would we? (I’m told that’s what ugly people say, so
does that mean I’m ugly? Well, who the hell are you to judge!?) And though I don’t speak to her often
(since I’m a loser), I am rather sure that her personality is great. And she’s smart to boot. An unbeatable
combination. 
                                                                                                                                                                       
      That’s it. And no, I don’t want your damn input.
The original list.
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