Quotable UU Quotes and Jokes

Q: What is a Unitarian Universalist? A: Someone that believes in life before death!

To Question is the Answer! UU Bumper Sticker

Come return to your place in the pews And hear our heretical views: You were not born in sin So lift up your chin, You have only your dogmas to lose. Leonard Mason, UU minister

"[Religion is] our human response to the duality of being alive, and having to die." UU minister F. Forrest Church

A little woman of middle years requested the clerk to cut 40 yards of pink chiffon for her. When he asked her what she could possibly want with 40 yards of chiffon, she explained, "I'm making a nightie for myself." "But surely you don't need 40 yards. You are not a large woman." "Yes, but my husband is a Unitarian. He'd much rather look for something than actually find it."

You may be a Unitarian Universalist if you think socks are too formal for a Summer service. You may be a Unitarian Universalist if you know at least 5 ways to say - Happy holidays! You may be a Unitarian Universalist if your idea of a guy's night out is going to a N.O.W. rally. You may be a Unitarian Universalist if unleavened bread is part of your Easter Brunch. You may be a Unitarian Universalist if you refer to construction paper as "paper of color." If the name of your church is longer than your arm, you might be a Unitarian Universalist. If you find yourself rewriting a church survey, rather than taking it, you might be a UU. If you call up your minister in the middle of the night, panicking because you are STARTING to believe in God, you might be a UU. If, to explain your personal theology, you have to use interpretive dance, you might be a UU.

Q: Why are UU congregations so bad at hymn singing? A: Because they are always reading a few lines ahead to see if they agree with the words. Q: Speaking of hymns, Can you Name a Unitarian hymn? A: Sure, "Praise Be to Whom It May Concern"

Three children were talking about their religions. "I'm a Catholic," said one, "and our symbol is the cross." "I'm Jewish," said the second, "and our symbol is the Star of David." The third child said, "I'm a Unitarian Universalist and our symbol is a candle in a martini glass!"

Q: HOW MANY UNITARIANS does it take to change a light bulb? A: This statement was issued: "We chose not to make a statement either in favor of or against the need for a light bulb. However, if in your own journey you have found that a light bulb works for you, that's fine. You are invited to write a poem or compose a modern dance about your personal relationship with your light bulb (or light source, or non-dark resource), and present it next month at our annual light-bulb Sunday service, in which we explore a number of light-bulb traditions, including incandescent, fluorescent, three-way, long-life, and tinted--all of which are equally valid paths to luminescence."