(“Seasons” By Crossbreed erupts over the speakers and Cliff Knight heads to ringside, ready for battle. He stares coldly at the entrace and holds his thumb up. Then slowly, he turns it upside down and the fans go even crazier.)

(“Beg” by Saliva begins to play, and Rex Butler steps from the curtains. Behind him is the lovable Gary Coleman. Gary dances down to ringside and climbs onto the turnbuckle, doing some sort of wierd humpy dance. Butler pulls him down and forces him out of the ring.)

(Cliff Knight closes in on Rex Butler and Rex just shoves him back. Cliff Knight continues to come at him and quickly snares the big man in a summerwater wrist lock. Rex yelps and twists, reversing the lock. As soon as Knight’s back is undefended, Butler grabs him in a bearhug and delivers a belly to back overhead suplex. Knight flies overhead and crashes to the mat. Outside, Gary Coleman cheers and jeers the two wrestlers. Butler whips Knight into the turnbuckle and follows up with a big clothesline. Knight slumps down into the corner and Butler whips Knight into the other corner.)

(Butler barrels in, and Knight lifts up his legs, traps Butler’s arms with them and executes a cartwheel-style sunset flip.)

1...Butler kicks out and Knight grabs an exposed leg, applying an ankle lock. Butler yelps again and reaches for the ropes. He’s not even close though, and he tries a different approach. When Cliff Knight bends forward, Butler timed it perfect so that he delivered a perfect poke to the eye. Knight releases the grip and gets up. Butler uses this moment to boot Knight in the stomach and deliver a snap-gutwrench suplex.)

(Knight is slow to get up after the powerful slam and he goes off the ropes, trying to deliver a flying cross body. Rex Butler snares him out of the air and Knight is caught in a huge spinning powerslam.)

Jimmy: Rex Butler is really showing the fans how immensely powerful he is.
Rudolph: God is also very powerful.

(Butler steps on Knight’s face and spins, the ultimate insult to the resident pretty boy. Knight gets up, wiping the scuff on his forehead and he charges Butler. Butler goes to clothesline him down, but Knight hooks his outstretched arm and swings around to his other arm. While still suspended, Knight latches an arm around Butler’s head and swings his leg’s for a very powerful pendulum DDT.)

(Butler looks severely dazed as he remains in a sitting position. Knight bounces off the ropes and dropkicks him directly in the face. Butler falls back, hurting badly.)

(Sensing Butler’s current situation, Gary Coleman decides to lend a hand to his new best friend. Now he merely has to wait for the proper time to strike. Butler is still staggered, but his faculties seem to be returning. Butler waits for Knight to get within range, then he swings, catching only air. Knight drops him to the canvas and Coleman grabs a chair. Knight pulls Butler up and wrestles him against the ropes. Coleman sees his chance and swings. As luck would have it, Knight rolled on the ropes and Butler took the chair instead. Butler leans forward, watching blood ooze from his mouth, then Knight places his head between his legs and lifts him up! As Butler crashes to the ground, Knight switches the move into a fammasser!)

1...2...3! Cliff Knight defeats Rex Butler!

Rudolph: Cliff Knight got a little help from an unexpected source.
Jimmy: Yeah, I didn’t think Coleman would have the guts to interfere.
Rudolph: I wasn’t talking about Coleman. I was talking about... The Lord Almighty!
Jimmy: This is getting creepy. Aww, how cute, Gary Coleman’s trying to help Butler to his feet.

(Coleman has his small hand on Butler’s shoulder, in consolation, but when Butler realizes that it is Coleman who is touching him, he freaks out! He lobs Gary up into the air and smashes him down with a polish hammer-style hit. Coleman is slithering on the ground and Butler sets up a chair outside of the ring. He goes back in and drags the small man to the top turnbuckle! Butler delivers a powerbomb to Gary Coleman from the top turnbuckle and through the table on the outside!)

(Gary Coleman turns kind of sideways in the air and impacts the table with his shoulder instead of the flat of his back, causing only more pain.)

[Backstage:]

(Simmy, covered in his own vomit, staggers over to one of the prostitiutes in Hooligan’s room. He eyes her up, then crumbles onto Alexis who is sitting beside Damage. Simmy falls face first into Alexis’ vaginal area and Damage loses it! He doesn’t care that the oddsman is drunk beyond death itself! He didn’t want him here in the first place! Hooligan picks him up and kicks Simmy in the ass as he tumbles to the hallway and lies there, praying that death would take him away from the alcohal induced pain.)

(Kingsly walks back into his office and he sees his chair has been turned to face the wall. Kingsly approaches the chair and he sees that it is Pondababa’s arm resting on the armrest.)

Kingsly: There you are, I’ve been looking everywhere for you.
No Reply.
Kingsly: Hey, are you listening to me?

(Kingsly spins the chair around and when it turns to face him, Kingsly begins to sweat more than usual. Pondababa’s head is missing! His chest has been torn open and circiuts are exposed, cracling as cross wires touch each other. Kingsly screams!)

Kingsly: Who did this to you!

(Pondababa lurches forward and a pen touches his hand. He picks it up and begins to scribble on the desk.)

drexxler
drexxler
drexxllllllleeeerr

(Kingsly sobbed as his friend in the business powered down. Evan Drexxler had caused this madness! Kingsly turned to find Evan Drexxler, but the monster had just entered the door. Holding Pondababa’s head, he appraoched Kinglsy. The president punched Evan Drexxler, but it seemed to have no effect. Drexxler picked up the smaller man by the throat and chokeslammed him to the ground! Kingsly convulsed for a moment, then went limp. Drexxler smiled and picked up the sleeping president.)

(Copeland stepped from his dressing room, and did a michael Jackson style dance before heading to ringside. He sees the camera and begins to sing:)

Copeland: With my body soaked in sex, I can’t lose!

Jimmy: Yipes! All of the staff of the UWA have been hurt except for Ashleigh, and Rudolph, and myself. To be honest, I’m pretty freakin’ scared right now!
Rudolph: Have faith my young friend, God will deliver us from evil.

[What’s on the titantron: (while Tool is playing) a camera angle swooping one time around the figure of Chris | cutshot to Copeland exploding on his opponent with a series of punches | cutshot to Chris talking trash on the microphone | cutshot to Chris piercing a figure with his finishing move - the super-kick]

(Chris Copeland struts to the ring and the fans are cheering! Copeland gets into the ring and bounces around a little bit.)

(“Second Death” by Living Sacrifice begins to play out and Evan Drexxler heads to the ring holding Pondababa’s head, and dragging Kingsly to the ring. Evan stares at the fans as they boo him. Drexxler tosses the head in the ring and lies Kingsly in front of Jimmy and Rudolph. Chris Copeland looks startled that Drexxler had just destroyed the owners.)

[What’s on the outdated titantron: The camera at a snail's pace swoops around “The Icon” who looks happy | cutshot to JT signs a few autographs for the fans | JT giving a suicide dive to a figure laying on the ground | cutshot to JT crushing a figure with the Cash Flow | cutshot to JT with the CWF championship around the waist walking to the ring]

(Copeland just watches as Evan Drexxler gets in the ring. As soon as he is halfway in, he dropkicks Drexxler outside. Copeland runs off the apron and dives off, slamming into Drexxler. Drexxler recovers from the hit and applies a shaking bearhug to the nullified Copeland. Drexxler swings Copeland’s body to the side and pounds him into the ground with a rock bottom style slam.)

(Drexxler lets the ref make a count, and Copeland just crawls in to beat the count. Drexxler grabs him by the hair and lifts him up. Copeland looks dazed, and Drexxler delivers him patented one punch knockout while holding Copeland’s hair!)

(Copeland collapses and Drexxler grins as he stands over Copeland’s fallen body. Drexxler places only one foot on Copeland’s chest and pins him.)

1...2...3/4! Copeland pushes Drexxler’s foot off and raises his hand. Copeland shakes his finger as if saying; “NO WAY PUNK!”

(Copeland performs a kick up and begins to brawl with the larger foe. Drexxler is overwhelmed by Copeland’s flurry and gains control by whipping him against the ropes. On the rebound, Copeland ducks the clothesline and when Drexxler turns around...)

BANG!

(Drexxler stumbles back against the ropes, and as he rebounds back...)

BANG!

(Two superkicks floor the giant and he is lying on the ground in a wierd position. Copeland goes for the cover!)

1...2...3! Chris Copeland defeats Evan Drexxler!

Jimmy: WOW! Copeland has had a good night! He got all up in Ashleigh Engels, and he defeated Evan Drexxler!
Rudolph: Kingsly is beginning to stir in front of us!

(Kingsly crawls into the ring and shakes Copeland’s hand. Kingsly raises Copeland hand, and with his other hand, he holds Pondababa’s head high in the air as the robotic head laughs maniacally. This scene causes small children to cry, but the more in depth fans are eating this memorable scene like chocolate!)

Jimmy: Now for the Main Event. Uluz takes on Hardcore Hooligan. It’s really quite depressing to think that one of these men end here tonight.
Rudolph: God will guide the loser to salvation from here on out. All we can do is pray.

[On the runway]

(“Hardcore Hooligan” by business plays... Possibly for the last time as Hooligan has his game face on. He takes one last swig of whiskey and and tosses the bottle, breaking it on the runway. He kisses his Singapore Cane and enters the plane.)

(“It Began in Afrika” plays... Possibly for the last time. After a minute, the African Sensation comes out bouncing on his one foot. He holds his Skulled Cane high to his god Allah. Uluz makes his way to the airplane and after a night’s worth of meditation, he stares at the Hardcore Hooligan.)

(Hooligan returns the stare and the plane begins to rise into the sky. Soon, the two would battle until one remained high above New York City. As the plane reached the desired height, the two wrestlers were equipped with their parachutes.)

(The siren sounded and the two wrestlers went at each other as the plane circled high above New York City. Skulled Cane smashed into Hooligan, and Singapore Cane smashed into Uluz. Uluz went for a sweep kick and Hooligan falls onto one of the plane seats. Uluz heads to the back of the plane and grabs a plate of food. Uluz tosses it and it lands on Hooligan’s face and burns him!)

(Hooligan screams and Uluz runs and does a bicycle kick, using the seats as a balance point. Uluz throws a sloppy punch and Hooligan counters with a police-style takedown. Uluz winces as his shoulder reaches the breaking point. Uluz counters Hooligan and pulls him around to the front of the plane. The two smash into the cockpit and to their surprise, they see a terrorist holding the pilot at gunpoint. Before the terrorist can even react, Uluz grabs the gun and a bullet blows a hole through the glass and the oxygen masks fall out. Uluz pulls the gun free and pistol whips the terrorist as Hooligan chokes the terrorist from behind with the the hose from one of the oxygen masks. After the criminal is well past dead, Uluz and Hooligan nod at one and other and resume fighting.)

(Hooligan tries to stuff the scrawny African into the carry-on space, but the plucky Uluz fights back. Uluz kicks, but once again, Hooligan uses a police-style takedown.)

(Uluz wiggles like a snake and squirms free. Hooligan loses his balance and Uluz spins around, executing a beautiful donkey kick to the groin. Hooligan bends over, and quicker than a hiccup, Uluz plants him to the aisle with a jumping piledriver!)

(Hooligan stumbles around and finally gets to his feet. Uluz runs over to the washroom and rips the towel machine off the wall. With towel in hand, Uluz grabs a canned drink from the stewartess area and wraps it up. Uluz swings the weapon and catches Hardcore Hooligan in the chin. Hooligan wobbles and collapses to his knees. Uluz sensing victory heads to the plane’s door and fumbles with the opening mechanism while Hooligan recuperates. With a pop and a whoosh! The door flies open and nearly sucks Uluz out! Uluz grabs onto a side panel and hangs on. Hooligan is begins to get sucked out, but he grabs onto a seat!)

(Hooligan watches as his Singapore cane flies over his shoulder and out the door! Uluz is laughing like a hyena, but Hooligan, one step ahead, catches the skulled cane before it flies out out, and whips it like a spear! Uluz gets whacked in the face and he drops unconsciously out the plane door!)

Hardcore Hooligan defeats Uluz!

(Hooligan realizes that Uluz would probably die if he didn’t save him, so without hesitation, the Hardcore Icon dives out the door after Uluz. Cutting through the air like a knife, Hooligan finds Uluz’s limp carcass hurtling towards the Earth. Using great skill, despite being drunk, Johnny Damage manages to pull Uluz’s chute before deploying his own.)

STOP READING! BEFORE YOU GO ANY FURTHER, PLEASE PLAY THE FILE BELOW TO ACCOMPANY THE REST OF THIS CARD. IT’LL ADD TO THE EMOTION..

---

---

CLICK HERE AND DOWNLOAD THIS SONG

---

---

(By this time Uluz is awake and he gracefully lands to the ground. Hooligan comically tumbles drunkenly as he is caught up in the ground rush. Uluz jogs over to him and helps him up. As quick as a lion, Uluz ensnares Hooligan in a hug and in shock, Hooligan clumsily hugs the African Sensation back.)

Uluz: Thank you so much Hardcore Hooligan Johnny Damage. I have learned so much from you here. I came to the UWA under the guise of stealing souls, but I really just wanted to earn enough money to fix the drought in Africa. Stealing souls was just a deliciously delicious hobby.

(Uluz’s Skulled Cane flies from the sky and stabs into the ground. Uluz runs over to it and pulls it from the ground. He hands it over to Hooligan who graciously takes it.)

Uluz: Here friend. You have earned this. You are one of my best best friends and I would be honoured if you would look after it.
Hooligan: Sure. Hey good luck back in Africa.
Uluz: I have a pretty young African Goddess awaiting me back in my homeland. But there is one last thing I must do before I leave.

(Uluz turns to the camera.)

Uluz: Chris Copeland, no matter what people may think you were the other person who has enriched my life. You are my friend as well as my brother. I bid you farewell and pray that I will see you again in my homeland. Goodbye... Copey.

[Cutshot back at the arena:]

(Chris Copeland looks choked up as he watches the monitor. He wipes away what looks like a tear and he is heard whispering under his breath; “I didn’t even get to say goodbye..”)

[Back Outside:]

(Uluz extends his hand and Hooligan embraces it with genuine respect. Hooligan begins to hop on one foot and then Uluz does the same. Thunder crackles in the distance and rain begins to fall... Almost as if Uluz had brought the Rains of Africa to the city of New York.)

Jimmy: [sniff] Goodnight everybody. At least Uluz goes home a hero. He earned enough money here in the UWA to fix some of Africa's problems.
Rudolph: I’ll miss that guy. Lord have mercy...

(The scene of Uluz and Hardcore Hooligan enjoying the rain fades to black.)

Uluz - The African Sensation, we bid thee farewell.