Rudolph: We have many wrestlers in the ring right now who may very well take the title as the Ultimate Survivor.
Jimmy: Firstly, we have Chris Reynolds- a submission specialist with an ability to tear his opponents apart using bone-shattering technical skills similar to a doctor or chiropractor.
Rudolph: Speaking about chiropractors, here’s the guy you should see if you have a heavy neck strain. Zang… Wrestling? What is wrestling? Necks? Zang likes to break those necks.
Jimmy: We have Cliff Knight, a bright-looking superstar with a whole field of accomplishments already in his youth. Knight is definitely one of the odds on favourites to take the reign as the Ultimate Survivor.
Rudolph: Uluz… Here’s a man who came to the United States knowing nothing about wrestling. But look at him today; he earned his first victory after beating Shepard Williams in the sixteen man unethical tournament. He’s learning and he’s found a new friend by the name of Chris Copeland.
Jimmy: Chris Copeland… Here’s a smart man, for two reasons. Firstly, he sees Uluz as an upcoming superstar to the Ultimate Survivor and realizes that he does have great potential. Secondly, he gains an advantage mentally before the match. Half the match is fought before the match begins.
Rudolph: “Hardcore Hooligan” Johnny Damage… He has solid in-ring wrestling skill; he has an uncanny ability to dish out the punishment as well take the pain. Johnny Damage is definitely a threat to the Ultimate Survivor.
Jimmy: “The Anti-Hero” Chris Rage… Here’s a demented man, who approves of self-mutilation. While other wrestlers play mind games, this man is actually listening to the voices in his head.
Rudolph: Here come the 15 men down to the ringside area, and remember, the first four men to have their feet touch the floor, must duel in a fatal fourway match after the rumble to try and stave elimination. The winner of this rumble earns the night off of the next card, and four days of rest.
Jimmy: Simmy has just wired his predictions to us. He says that Cliff Knight, or Zang are two odds on favorites to take the rumble. And if the alliance between Copeland and Uluz works out, look for them to leave a mark in the ring tonight.

(The fifteen men head to the ring and the tension grows as they stare each other down. The wrestlers watch their backs, praying that no one decides to smash their bodies prior to the ring of the bell. JT Dolar gives high fives to the crowd as he makes his way to the ring. )

(Uluz and Chris Copeland stick close to one and other as the ring of the bell signifies the start of the BATTLE ROYAL!)

(Every wrestler chooses another man to fight as the mayhem begins. Mortician and Dark Angel are going shot for shot in the corner, while Kurt Stone enters the brawl and knuckles the Mortician in his ribs. Dark Angel whips his beefy arm nailing Kurt Stone directly in the temple. Stone falls to the ground and he rolls beneath the bottom rope. The refs push Stone back into the ring but Stone continues taking a little stroll outside the ring)

(JT Dolar aka Ixon puts the squeeze on Rex Butler with a vicious headlocks. Try as he might, Rex is unable to shake the vice like grip of the lovable JT Dolar.)

(Soul makes a big mistake by hitting Zang from behind. Zang turns around and grabs Soul by the seam of his ripped jeans. Zang uses his other massive hand to wrap it around Soul’s neck! Using incredible power, Zang lifts the depressed wonderboy over his head and tosses him over the top rope!! Soul flies clear over the guardrail and lands in the handicapped section, smashing a lady in a wheelchair onto her side, and numerous other fall to the ground!)

[Soul is eliminated from rumble competition!]

Jimmy: Well, Simmy Upchul may finally make good on one of his rinky-dink predictions!
Rudolph: That was insane, I don’t know how this man will be beaten in one on one competition!

(Suddenly, almost as if by collective thought, the masses in the ring turn on Zang. Chris Reynolds jumps on the back of the mammoth man. CJ Scott grabs Zang’s leg, but is kicked off and he flies into Dark Angel and Mortician, who stop their fighting to go attempt the task at hand. JT Dolar, runs up and clotheslines Zang, but it doesn’t seem to have much effect. Cliff Knight wisely takes a little breather watching more than half of the UWA roster try and eliminate the mentally challenged destroyer.)

(Hooligan finally manages to grab one arm, and Chris Rage grabs the other. Mortician clings tightly to the thrashing le, but he refuses to release. Dark Angel grabs the other leg, and the four are having trouble getting him to the ropes. Uluz and Chris Copeland get in on the action and also add their muscle to the battle. Kurt Stone pulls down the top rope to make it easier to dump the large foe to the ground, and after much force, Zang is teetering on the ropes. Zang falls to the outside apron as the Old Man is pulling at where his hair should be. “Stay in there boy! Stay alive!” screams the Old Man, as Zang seems to get his balance on the outer apron! Zang grabs JT Dolar by the throat, but a quadruple dropkick, courtesy of Uluz, Chris Copeland, Chris Rage, and the Hardcore Hooligan sends him flying into the guardrail, as is crumples and a small child in the first row is hurt from the impact.)

[Zang is eliminated]

(A parental figure slaps Zang as he heads backstage to prepare for the fourway later that night. The mother of the child seems very upset as her unconscious son lies face down in his own blood.)

(After lifting this behemoth up and over the top rope, the wrestlers continue as normal. Chris Reynolds drags Rex Butler by the ears, taking him straight to the corner, never forgetting the powerbomb incident in Atlanta, Georgia. Reynolds mounts Butler in the corner, and thrashes Butler with continuous blows to the forehead. The fans are chanting after each and every single punch, until Cliff Knight comes from behind and monkey flips Reynolds to the centre of the ring.)

(Butler regains his composure and leans up against the ropes taking a rest. Reynolds is barely even fazed by Knight’s offense. With the quickness of a jet plane, Reynolds viciously clotheslines Butler over the top rope. Butler topples over the top rope and hits the guard railing spilling an old man’s popcorn and beer. The old man wipes his beer off of himself, and with what’s left of his popcorn, he throws it in Butler’s face. Butler gets up. So does the old man. Butler plants his hand on the guy’s face and shoves with all his might. The old man topples back into the crowd, tipping his chair and smacking another fan upside the head with his flailing leg. The fans don’t seem too pleased. )

[Rex Butler is eliminated!]

Rudolph: Well, three of the four have made their way back to the dressing room.
Jimmy: I don’t think these Winnipeg fans are taking too kindly to the UWA, fans have been hurt, and their foods have been spilled, in fact, some of the rowdier fans are throwing stuff at the security guards!

(Cutshot to the fans throwing popcorn and drinks at the security guards. Meanwhile, back in the ring, Hardcore Hooligan and Chris Rage meet up eye to eye. They are staring at each other, preparing to battle, when Mortician delivers a clothesline to Hardcore Hooligan. Chris Rage takes the upper hand and begins to stomp the downed wrestler.)

(Uluz and Chris Copeland have Dark Angel up against the ropes and are trying to throw him out, but the “Dark One” refuses to be eliminated. JT Dolar and Kurt Stone seem to have made an uneasy alliance as they battle Cliff Knight. Cliff Knight is handling the two with ease as he knocks them both down with a split-legged dropkick.)

(Cliff Knight raises his arms and the crowd explodes with cheers. Cliff Knight turns around, then Tommie Gunn comes out of nowhere and clotheslines “THE Premier Athlete” over the top rope! But using speed almost unrivalled by any other pro athlete in the Northern Hemisphere, Knight manages to regroup in mid air, and grab the top rope. Knight swings and one foot touches the floor. Knight avoids elimination and he begins to roll under the bottom rope, when a ref grabs him by his trunks and points to the dressing room. Knight seems shocked, but the ref insists that both feet touched the ground. Knight retaliates by booting the ref and delivering the fammasser before heading to the ring. The fans are booing as “THE Premier Athlete” heads backstage, visibly angered by the miscarriage of justice.)

[Cliff Knight is eliminated from the rumble.]

Jimmy: I can’t believe that blind ref just cost Cliff Knight his chance to win the battle royal!
Rudolph: Cliff Knight, and Zang, two of Simmy’s picks are going to the fatal fourway immediately following this contest.

(No one is close to JT Dolar as he begins shaking the ropes as if he’s been electrocuted. The nice guy we all know as JT Dolar is changing forms into the meaner Ixon brand. Ixon looks around as if he’s terribly stressed out and he grabs CJ Scott by the throat. He won’t let go as CJ Scott kicks his feet getting the life juice strangled right out of him. Ixon drops CJ Scott like a bad habit and turns around right in the crosshairs of Tommy Gunn and Chris Rage. Tommy Gunn knees CJ Scott right into the bread basket as Rage charges off the ropes slamming his face into the mat. Gunn wipes the sweat off his brow but Rage drops Gunn like a bad habit with his bony elbow.)

(Copeland and Uluz are still trying to flip Dark Angel out, but he gouges the eyes of the African Import, and he eases off. Dark Angel takes advantage of the situation and grabs Copeland by the throat. Uluz recovers, but is also grabbed by the throat! Dark Angel, using incredible power, lifts the two in the air and delivers a massive double chokeslam! Dark Angel turns to the crowd as they roar in approval, then Mortician sees his opening and delivers a big boot to the back of Dark Angel’s head! Dark Angel flips over the top rope and crashes into the fans from the forward momentum.!)

[Dark Angel is eliminated]

(The fans seem to have had enough of the abuse as they storm the ring. Security guards are mowed down as they try to stop the fans from attacking! The remaining wrestlers stop and watch as the hoard of fans attempt to get into the ring, but are pulled down, and beaten by security guards. The fans stay close to the ring, but none seem brave enough to attempt an entrance.)

(Hardcore Hooligan and Chris Rage battle it out, when Kurt Stone tries to attack the two. In a rage, the two turn on Stone and pummel him to the ground. Rage stomps Stone, while Hooligan punches Stone. The two pick him up by his pretty boy hair and run him, over to the ropes. At the last moment, Hooligan and Rage seem to be thinking alike as they both lower themselves and places their shoulders under “Tha Answer”. The two hoist him up, and Stone clears the top rope, does a flip and crash lands on the moshing fans below!)

[Kurt Stone is eliminated.]

(The battle rages on as the fans are moshing all around the ring. Uluz is ceremonial hopping on his right foot in the centre of the ring as Hardcore Hooligan rushes in with a running clothesline. Chris Copeland watches the situation unravel and jumps in to the aid of the African import with a flying forearm. Chris Rage sees his nemesis in jeopardy of being eliminated, and creeps up behind Copeland.)

(As the battle continues, Ixon grabs Chris Rage and Hardcore Hooligan and slam their heads together. With shocking speed, Ixon swings around grabbing Copeland and delivering a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. Uluz, seeing his ally down, taps into his extra souls for courage and makes an all-out assault on Ixon. Uluz claws Ixon’s face like a monkey and the big man falls against the ropes. Copeland, seeing his opportunity, pounces upwards and interlocks hands with Uluz. The two perform a double clothesline, and as Ixon flails over the top rope, he reaches out and grabs Copeland. Uluz, with the speed of a jungle cat, catches Copeland and pulls him away from Ixon as he tumbles into the surging crowd below)

[Ixon is eliminated!]

(Chris Copeland smiles at the only African Survivor participant, after saving him from the moshpitting crowd outside. Meanwhile, Chris Reynolds and CJ Scott are exchanging shot for shot. Mortician squeals like a pig and clamps his arms around Tommie Gunn and delivers an overhead belly-to-belly suplex. Reynolds laughs and continues his brawl with CJ Scott, who punches seem to have no effect. CJ feels choked up inside at his lack of “true” strength and he recoils into the shadows near a turnbuckle. Reynolds, seeing his opportunity, applies the Endless Abandonment on the hurting Tommie Gunn. Tommie taps out, but realizes there is no escape from the madness that is about to ensue. Reynolds holds on longer and Gunn passes out from the pain. Feeling a bit of compassion, CJ Scott pleads with Reynolds to release his kung-fu grip. CJ levels Reynolds with a solid right hand, and “The Real Deal” Chris Reynolds falls back, letting Endless Abandonment go. CJ Scott checks on Tommie Gunn, but as he does, Reynolds boots him in the head-pipe.)

(Reynolds picks up the limp body of Tommie Gunn and easily dumps the body into the angry masses below.)

[Tommie Gunn is eliminated!]

Jimmy: WE HAVE SWARMING MASSES OF ANGRY PEOPLE AROUND US!!
Rudolph: Keep calm boy, the madness will pass.
Jimmy: I CAN’T KEEP CALM! BUT WE DO HAVE A BACKSTAGE MESSAGE FROM AN ENRAGED CLIFF KNIGHT!

(The camera goes backstage to Cliff Knight who was robbed of the chance to become the UWA Battle Royal winner. Ashleigh Engels is waiting to conduct the interview.)

Ashleigh: Cliff Knight, what do you have to say about what happened tonight.
Knight: Listen, I came out here to do what I do best. And when the integrity of my sport is jeopardized by referees who can’t do their job properly, that makes “THE Premier Wrestler” in this sport very angry. Tonight, you’re going to see what a fired up Cliff Knight can do.
Ashleigh: Ohh, Cliff, you can’t be beat. You know that right?
Knight: Yeah… Fuck yeah.

(Cliff slams the mic on the ground, slaps Ashleigh on the ass, and heads back to his locker room. Ashleigh just looks into the camera with a shit-eating grin on her face.)

(CJ Scott is running around like a hunted animal, when a double clothesline makes him sleepy. CJ decides to rest against the ropes, which wasn’t a good idea. Rage bites his face, and Hooligan batters his knee. The two work in unison to pour the sweet liquid contents of CJ Scott over the top rope.)

[CJ Scott is eliminated]

(Mortician sees his odds getting better and better as each person falls to the outside. Mortician grabs Hardcore Hooligan and climbs the turnbuckle. Mortician stands on the top turnbuckle and when he fully extends himself. Hooligan makes his move. Hooligan pushes Mortician and the big man tumbles off the top rope onto a man waving a blade around in the teeming masses of angry fans.)

[Mortician is eliminated.]

(Hardcore Hooligan, Uluz, Chris Rage, Chris Reynolds and Chris Copeland all remain in the battle royal. Chris Reynolds and Hardcore Hooligan are slugging it away until Hooligan rakes the eyes of Chris Reynolds. Hooligan, charges like thunder, and rams Reynolds like a bull. Johnny Damage lifts Chris Reynolds high in the air with a suplex and holds him there to get all the blood flowing to the brain. Reynolds crashes to the canvas and bounces like a bowling ball.)

(Hardcore Hooligan turns his back and Chris Rage is directly behind him. At the other end of the ring is Uluz and Chris Copeland who obviously have an edge on the remaining three participants. Rage and Hardcore Hooligan stomp a mudhole in Chris Reynolds in the corner as Uluz and Chris Copeland whisper sneaky teamwork plans. Rage decides to bring the noise to those two and charges the blacker of the two wrestlers. Uluz kneels down and Copeland out of nowhere strikes Rage with a hammerfist. Copeland and Uluz with their cohesivity drag Rage by his dreadlock hair and toss him over the top rope. But Rage hangs on and he stands on the outside apron. Much to the dismay of Chris Rage, the angry fans cling onto him and drag him into the moshing crowd.)

[Chris Rage is eliminated!]

(Hooligan and Reynolds realize that they must team up in an attempt to avoid an elimination at the hands of Uluz and Copeland. Reynolds and Hooligan stand side by side, waiting for the onslaught. Uluz pairs up with Reynolds, and Hooligan matches Cope’s courage in the battle. Reynolds and Hooligan are irish whipped together as Copeland and Uluz give each other high fives. Uluz dives at Reynolds like a stealth bomber, but “The Real Deal” catches him and slams him to the ground. Copeland is caught in a chin breaker by Hooligan as he proves that he can get technical when the need arises.)

(Uluz has a shocked look on his face as Reynolds headbutts him. With quick skill Reynolds spins Uluz up in the tree of woe! Reynolds pounds the import, but Uluz trips Reynolds while upside down, and does a sit up. Uluz escapes the clutches to the tree of woe and Uluz perches himself on the top turnbuckle. When Reynolds gets up, Uluz dives off, attempting a flying cross body, but Reynolds catches him in mid air! Reynolds turns his back to the ropes and delivers a fallaway slam over the top rope!

[Uluz is eliminated!]

(Chris Copeland drops his head in sadness and watches his partner Uluz get swept away in the moshpit)

Jimmy: Wow, look at the strength of Chris Reynolds. He’s not all technical skill.

(He stands still in misery but is caught off guard when Johnny Damage peels his back with a back rake. Copeland feels the pain vibrating in his backbone. Damage continues the offence by a jab followed by a bodyslam. Charging off the ropes, Damage drops the elbow. Again, with the speed of Spiderman, he drops a second elbow. He continues the same process with a final elbow drop and loses his breath. Reynolds finds his opportunity to strike and nails Damage with a running bulldog. Copeland is slow to get up but he waits for Reynolds to turn around. And when he does… CLICK… Reynolds receives a superkick in the jaw by the foot of Chris Copeland! Chris Reynolds collapses as though his legs were made of spaghetti.)

(Johnny Damage is bent over catching his breath (all those cigarettes are affecting his performance) and Copeland grabs his head and prepares to deliver a running bulldog. Copeland runs and jumps. But in the air, Hooligan lifts Copeland up, spins around and dumps Copeland backwards over the top rope. The fans catch Copeland in the moshpit!)

[Chris Copeland is eliminated!]

(The final two… Reynolds and Hooligan. The two have accomplished the task of eliminating Uluz and Chris Copeland. Hooligan and Reynolds grapple together and they struggle for power in the middle of the ring. Reynolds turns Hooligan over with a hammerlock. Hooligan reverses it. Reynolds rolls forward with a drop toe-hold. Johnny Damage falls to the canvas and Reynolds crawls onto his back. Reynolds applies a variation of the Camel Clutch. Hooligan spits blood from his mouth. A wound he must have incurred during the rumble. Reynolds sits on the top turnbuckle and taunts Hooligan. Damage charges in and Reynolds wraps his legs around Hooligan’s head. Reynolds then flips himself over the top rope while holding onto it. Hooligan is carried over by the momentum and he crashes to the outside. Reynolds gets back into the ring as he hangs precariously close to the ground and the enraged fans.)

[Hardcore Hooligan is eliminated]

(Chris Reynolds celebrates in the ring as the bell is rung. Chris Reynolds wins the Battle Royal! Reynolds makes his way back to the dressing room as throngs of people claw at him.

(It seems that all of the wrestlers have made their way backstage after fighting their way through the crowd. President Kingsly and Pondababa make sure everyone is okay before the Immunity Main Event. Creighton Duke is in the background with his arms crossed)

Duke: DAMN! Winnipeg has a rowdy bunch!
Kingsly: Alright, the cops have used tear gas on the rioters and the trouble makers have been escorted from the building. You will be wrestling for a smaller audience than you’re used to now, but at least you’ll survive your entrance.
Pondababa: We should not have come to this armpit of a city.
Kingsly: I would also advise against going outside, the riot has carried to the streets of Winnipeg.

Jimmy: Here comes Soul, a jobber of sorts, but Simmy has sent us word that he’ll avoid elimination tonight.

("Dumb" by Nirvana plays as Soul saunters to the ring)

[What’s on the titantron: A camera three-sixties around Soul to see all angles of his paleness | cutshot to Soul jumping in the air performing his 450 splash | cutshot to Soul pinning a figure on the mat | cutshot to Soul walking down the aisle]

Rudolph: And now a mountain of a man, Zang, Simmy said he should be safe tonight in this match as well.

[What's on the titantron: The only thing shown on the titantron is an x-ray shot of a neck being broken looping repeatedly.]

(Zang emerges from behind the curtain. Some fans cheer, some fans boo, others just stare in amazement at the massive human figure before them. The Old Man is whispering things into Zang's ear and rubbing his huge sculpted shoulders. He rolls into the ring like a steamroller awaiting his next victims)

(Butler travels to the ring, wearing his wrestling attire and as angry as a moutnain goat)

[What’s on the titantron: A camera three-sixties around Rex Butler to see all angles | cutshot to Rex Butler slamming Chris Reynolds through the table | cutshot to Butler talking on his cellphone | cutshot to Butler walking down the aisle | cutshot to Butler smiling and laughing at Reynolds hurt corpse]

Jimmy: REEEEEEX BUTLER, a good man, Simmy says watch and be amazed as Butler survives to fight another day.

Rudolph: And this man, Cliff Knight, he says he’s fired up for this match and we don’t doubt it for one second.
Jimmy: Plus, Simmy says he’ll win as well tonight.
Rudolph: Wait a minute, that means he think everyone is gonna win!
Jimmy: That son of a bitch!
Rudolph: Well… I guess that’s one way to cover your bets! HAHAHA.

[What’s on the titantron: A camera slowly swoops around the figure of Cliff Knight one time, as at the end of the final rotation Cliff Knight bashes the camera out of order | cutshot to Cliff Knight winning the 56-man Cross federation tournament | cutshot to Cliff Knight signing autographs for the fans in his futuristic costume | cutshot to Cliff setting up an opponent for a pedigree and then lifting him up and planting his face into the ground with a fameasser.]

(A large array of fireworks and explosions signify the entrance of the unavoidable future of the Ultimate Survivor, CLIFF KNIGHT! He walks to the ring with intensity fury in his eyes, surprised to be in the ring with these lesser-abilitied wrestlers)

(Ding. Ding. Ding. Cliff Knight explodes as the bell rings and he goes straight for Zang. Cliff dazzles him with a flurry of punches, and Zang falls against the ropes. Cliff Knight ties up Zang in the ropes, then goes for the other two wrestlers in the ring. Zang struggles, but he is truly tangled. Cliff goes for Soul.. Soul tries to avoid the attack, but Knight grabs Soul by the head and uses the running momentum to flip the sucka over the top rope. While Soul is getting up, Cliff Knight jumps off of the apron and delivers a famasser. Clif gets into the ring and dropkicks Rex Butler. Rex tries to call time-out, but Knight boots him in the stomach and pulls his arms up pedigree style. Knight lifts the big guy up, and converts the move to a famasser, planting Rex’s melon to the canvas!)

1…2…3! Cliff Knight pins Rex Butler and scores immunity.

Jimmy: Cliff Knight made short work out of these three wrestlers!

(Cliff Knight raises his hands and the crowd cheers ravenously. Cliff heads backstage, loathing the fact that he even had to grace the ring with the likes of Rex Butler and Soul.)

(Zang finally breaks free and goes for the injured Rex Butler. Zang lifts him up, then applies his finisher! BREAK YOUR NECK! Rex’s head folds back and he can’t even tap out, he is already unconscious. Soul dives off the top rope onto Zang’s back applying a sleeper. Zang decides to mix things up a bit, and instead of waiting for the ref to raise Butler’s limp hand three times he chokeslams Butler to the ground. Zang then pulls Soul off of his shoulders and grabs him by his skinny vampiro throat. Zang shocks the crowd by delivering a reverse chokeslam. Zang looks at the two bodies and decides to pin Rex Butler.

Jimmy: There is such a distance between the bad and the good in this match that it's going so quickly! Zang and Cliff Knight equalling good. Rex and Soul equalling not so good.

1…2…3! Zang annihilates the competition and scores immunity!

Jimmy: Zang and Cliff Knight just proved why it was a fluke they were in that match, but at least we got to see some real talent in the Main Event.

(Rex is really, really hurt as he rubs his almost broken neck. Rex is physically and mentally drained of energy as he checks on Soul who is convulsing after the chokeslam. Rex places Souls lil' head between his legs and delivers his trademark powerbomb!)

1…2…3! Rex Butler scores the last immunity over Soul!

Rudolph: Well Soul is eliminated! His only victory came at the hands of Shepard Williams, who was comically enough, our first ever eliminated wrestler! HAHA
Jimmy: But I thought that Simmy said he was gonna win?
Rudolph: He did. He won himself the chance to never disgrace the ring again!
Jimmy: HAHA Goodnight everyone. And goodnight Soul!
Rudolph: Stay tuned for the bean draw right after this broadcast!

(After the immunity fatal four-way main event, all the smoke clears and the ring technicians clean up the premises. Fireworks ignite the Winnipeg Arena as “Bullets” by Creed blared into the ears of the sold out crowd. President’s Pondababa and Kingsly cohesively push the curtains aside, while side-by-side as the fans have a mixed reaction to the Ultimate Survivor Staff. Creighton Duke pushes his way in between Pondababa and Kingsly as the flash photography illuminates the darkened area. Simmy Upchul has his arm on the slim waist of Ashleigh Engels as they stick right behind the important people. This bizarre-looking squad, all five of them, walk down the aisle as straight as an arrow. Our expert-analysis, Rudolph Wittacher and Colour Commentary, Jimmy Valentine, get out of their booth and step into the party. The ring is crammed with the seven staff members behind the Ultimate Survivor.)

(In the ring is a hat with 14 different coloured beans; each one representing a match for our next card in Washington, DC)

Pondababa: Welco- (Cut off by the loud guitar of “Seasons” by Crossbreed)

(Cliff Knight, with his hair spiked up in a bright shade of yellow, directs the crowds’ attention as he enlivens the atmosphere with his presence. Flash photography is now going wild as Knight poses for the crowd. After his victory in the fatal four way main event, he marches to the ring. He mounts the second turnbuckle ass the fans detonate like a ticking time bomb. Knight approaches the sac filled with beans and selects a blue bean.)

Cliff Knight = BLUE

(He smiles at the bean, knowing that he is safe from the immunity main event.)

(Cliff Knight rolls underneath the ropes as the scene cutshots to the backroom where Uluz and Chris Copeland are sharing a moment together. Uluz is showing all the interesting artefacts and interesting stuff from Zimbabwe as Chris Copeland is admiring the African import.)

Chris Copeland: Well, let’s go to the ring and choose our fate for Washington, DC.
Uluz: (nods his head) Let’s do it, my friend.

(“It Began in Africa” by the Chemical Brothers begins to play as the Chris Copeland and Uluz, togetherly, shimmy their way down the aisle and into the ring.)

(Uluz holds out his hand and gives the honour to Chris Copeland to choose first.)

(Chris Copeland firmly shuts his eyes and places his hand in the hat. Copeland pulls out a bean… it’s green!)

Chris Copeland=GREEN

(Uluz snatches a yellow bean out of the sac as Copeland smiles. Luckily, Copeland and Uluz are not in the immunity main event, and they do not have to fight against each other in their matches, as well. Luck is on their side, tonight.)

Uluz=YELLOW

(The screen cutshots to “The Anti-Hero” Chris Rage in the backroom who is sadistically hurting himself by flicking and lighting matches on his pale face. Chris Rage hops up and down a few times with a no-expression look on his face as “Last Time” by Amen blares the twenty thousand square foot facility in Winnipeg, Manitoba. Chris Rage, as straight as a bullet, walks down the aisle and rolls into the ring. He directs himself to the hat and pulls out a yellow bean!)

Chris Rage=YELLOW

Creighton Duke: One match has been made; we will have Chris Rage taking on my personal favourite wrestler- Uluz!

(Scene cutshots to Johnny Damage in his smoke-filled environment. He is smiling as he is pulling himself off of the couch, crushing a few beer cans on the way down to the ring. Johnny Damage and Chris Rage stare each other down as they pass by down the aisle. The kid’s love Johnny Damage as he rolls into the ring and eyes are focused like crosshairs on the bag filled with beans. Damage burps in the face of Creighton Duke, as he pulls out a green bean from the bag)

Johnny Damage=GREEN

Creighton Duke: A second match has been finaliz-- (President Pondababa cuts off Creighton Duke by tapping him on the shoulder a few times.)

(Kingsly whispers a few things in the ear of President Pondababa and steals the mic away from the Duke)

Pondababa: No matches are finalized. Duke, your flesh is weak, and your mind... Soft. In fact, we are changing a match right now… Duke, you talk so good but your brain is not ready…

(The fans boo at Ponda as Kingsly thieving the microphone away from the Duke)

Kingsly: (wipes the sweat trickling down his forehead) Now, I watched the 15-man battle royal, from my skybox seats and I realized that Uluz and Chris Copeland have a little alliance thing going along, which is perfectly allowed... There’s nothing wrong with that! It’s ALL LEGAL! But what surprised me even more were Johnny Damage and Chris Rage working together as a cohesive unit. I am turning these two singles matches into a tag team match. Johnny Damage and Chris Rage versus Uluz and Chris Copeland!

(The fans go nuts as Kingsly announces the two arch nemesis- Johnny Damage and Chris Rage- must work together in a tag team match against Copeland and Uluz!)

Kingsly: You two are going to have to learn to be friends; this match does affect your future here. Call your bean selection convenient, call it what you want! This is now a TAG TEAM match. It has goodness and hardcoreness written ALLLL over it! Johnny Damage and Chris Rage against Uluz and Chris Copeland in Washington, DC. Can you ask for anything more?

(Kingsly hands the microphone back to Creighton Duke as the Duke looks worried about his job security in the Ultimate Survivor)

(If you can put words to the expression of Johnny Damage at this moment it would be “why does this have to happed to me”. He has a grouchy look on his face as the screen cutshots to Chris Rage resting on a chair in the backroom. His face finally has an expression on it; now Chris Rage is smiling at Johnny Damage and clapping just like how he was doing it to him. The camera turns a one hundred and eighty degrees to an old man bouncing up and down around a behemoth of a man known as Zang)

(The cameraman runs over to the six foot eight, three hundred and sixty mountain-of-a-man)

Old Man: Let’s do this Zang!

(A remixed version of “Break Your Neck by Busta Rhymes begins to play as a the titantron continuously rerolls footage of a chiropractor snapping a man’s neck. The old man stops and crouches as the fans eat their hearts out with flash photography of the colossus. In a straight line which is the quickest way to the ring, Zang and the old man step into the ring. The old man directs the uncontrollable beast to the hat filled of beans. Zang looks around and has the sudden urge to break a few necks. The old man realizes his compulsion and steps in front and gains control of Zang, using a cruel and unusual punishment. Zang steps a back a bit as the old man chooses a blue bean from the sac.)

Zang=BLUE

Creighton Duke: It’s official! “The Uncontrollable” Zang versus “THE Premier Athlete” Cliff Knight in a match at Washington, DC!

(Cutshot to Cliff Knight in the backroom…)

(Cliff Knight is just shaking his head, knowing this will be one of the meanest, most uncontrollable, hardest matches he’s ever fought. He has to deal with the mentally-handicapped Zang!)

(The screen cutshots to Rex Butler who is talking on a cellular phone, again. A man interrupts Rex Butler)

Man: Your choice, Mr. Butler

(“Beg” by Saliva begins to play as Rex Butler walks down the aisle and rolls into the ring. He quickly chooses a white bean out of the sac and walks to his original niche. Butler pulls out a white bean from the sac and heads to the locker room.)

Rex Butler=WHITE

(Tommie Jake Gunn walks directly to the ring with a mixed crowd reaction and pulls out a red bean.)

Tommie Jake Gunn=RED

(Next through the curtains comes Kurt Stone. Stone marches down the ring with his pearly whites reflecting the lights, camera and action. Stone passes by Gunn and they both meet eye to eye as Stone rolls into the ring. He selects a red bean from the sac)

Kurt Stone= RED

Duke: It’s official! Kurt Stone versus Tommie Jake Gunn in Washington, DC!

(CJ Scott shimmies his way down the aisle and into the ring and it’s his turn to choose a bean. Scott pulls out a bean… it’s blue!)

CJ Scott=BLUE

(The winner of the battle royal, the technical expertise… Chris Reynolds has his music played in the Winnipeg Arena as the fans chant and cheer for him. Reynolds waves his hands as if he was a king, until he rolls into the ring. Reynolds selects a white bean from the sac)

Chris Reynolds=WHITE

Duke: We have a grudge match! Chris Reynolds now gets his chance of revenge with Rex Butler after that powerbomb in Atlanta, Georgia!

(Reynolds smirks and chuckles to himself a few times before leaving the ring.)

Duke: Where’s the black beans?

(The beans are getting less and less in numbers as Icon struts to the ring with a positive fan feedback. Icon takes the steps into the ring and reaches into the sac. He pulls out a blue bean!)

Icon= BLUE

Duke: Icon versus CJ Scott in Washington DC. Sign it!
Kingsly: Ok, it appears that all we have left are two black beans!

(Suddenly, an array of twinkling lights blind the audience as 6 foot eight inch, 280 pounder Mortician surprises the Ultimate Survivor crew by showing his face inside the ring)

Duke: AH!

(Mortician advances to the cap and knowingly pulls out a black bean. The camera gets a shot of Mortician’s eye and a close-up of the bean.)

Mortician= BLACK

Duke: Ok, Dark Angel… Come and choose the last bean in the hat. No surprise what colour it will be.

(Mortician waits in the ring and keeps an eye out at the locker room. The lights go out… they turn back on within the blink of an eye… Dark Angel has torn a piece of the ring and has risen from underneath the ring, pulling Mortician into the abyss. Mortician-surprised and caught off guard, is dragged beneath the ring and into the cradle of the Dark Angel! The Ultimate Survivor staff looks in fear as the demented Mortician is sucked beneath the ring by perhaps a more demented individual known as the Dark Angel! The ring begins to rumble like an earthquake as the staff runs for safety…)

(Suddenly, both Dark Angel and Mortician emerge from underneath the ring and start exchanging shots as the fans feed on the adrenaline rush. But Dark Angel is slowly getting the upper hand over top of the Mortician… Angel launches Mortician into the ring, avoiding the area torn apart from the Dark Angel already. With heaping strength, Dark Angel hoists Mortician high up in the air with the Final Judgment and the ring collapses from the huge impact of Dark Angel!)

Dark Angel= BLACK

(The scene fades away with a casket, followed by the picture of Dark Angel… followed by the picture of Mortician… followed by the Ultimate Survivor logo engulfing your television screen)