(The camera heads over to the Hardcore Hooligan’s dressing room, and to our surprise, there is no music coming from it. In fact, there is nothing but silence. Not a thing can be heard from the other side of the door. It would appear that Johnny Damage was preparing intensivly for his match.)

(Ixon stands in front of his class and continues to instruct them as the cameraman enters.)

Ixon: Which one of these is the compound word class?
Kid: Please Ixon, don’t fight Zang tonight! He’ll kill you!
Kid 2: Yeah, after that beating you took last week from Cliff Knight, we don’t think you’ll be able to take much more!
Ixon: Class, please settle down! Uncle Ixon will go fight with Zang and send him deep into the catacombs of elimination. Now, can anyone answer my prior question?

(Uluz is hopping on his one foot ceremoniously, and he notices a cameraman walking by.)

Uluz: Hey, man with camera! Come here!
Cameraman: Yes?
Uluz: Mortician and I have not gone to the beach yet, so I figured I’ll get Mortician a little ready for our match. Come on. (under his breath) [I hope you can run fast].

(Uluz grabs a pail of water and heads towards Mortician’s change room. He knocks on the door, and after a few moments pass, it opens. Slowly and ominously the door swings open. Uluz stands beside the door. Inside the room, the light is off. [Scary] music can be heard coming from a cheap stereo within. Eventually, Mortician sticks his head out and Uluz splashes the pail of water on him! Uluz runs away screaming:)

Uluz: I just want to get you ready for our match tonight!

(Mortician grabs the cameraman and delivers an inverse powerbomb, cracking Chuck Helmsly, the cameraman like an egg.)

Rudolph: Well, we are here once again at the UWA Survivor, and luckily, the charges have been dropped against me courtesy of Chris Copeland.
Jimmy: Well, I guess you can stop your heavy drinking anytime then.
Rudolph: Oh Jimmy, you know I can’t do that.
Jimmy: Uh, right, the opening match for tonight includes Last weeks IME survivor Rex Butler taking on CJ Scott! Rex has just been freed from the tyranny of Pain Express holding him back. Maybe he’ll be able to parly up a nice winning streak!
Rudolph: The Uncontrollable Zang squares off against a man who claims that his new motive in life is to teach kids to read.
Jimmy: And the master of submissions, Chris Reynolds takes on Chris Copeland in a submission match!
Rudolph: Well I for one think Chris Copeland is a great person and I hope he hands Reynolds his skinny ass.
Jimmy: In the unofficial Main Event, Only one person will remain undefeated, and the two finalists for this pretty namesake.
Rudolph: And two men who have seen Immunity Main Event elimination before. Both have survived their past encounters, and now one will go home with a tenth place billing and twelve thousand dollars.
Jimmy: Well Mortician was sick last week, so he didn’t even fight, and Uluz got hammered by Johnny Damage. So I guess the edge would go to Mortician
Rudolph: But don’t count out the African Import, he’s had his back to the wall a few times and he has always prevailed.

Jimmy: Rex Butler takes on CJ Scott, who has gotten the day off last week
Rudolph: Yeah, Rex has proven that he can handle himself, and now he intends to slam dunk that notion by defeating CJ Scott.
Jimmy: CJ Scott is no laughing matter though. He disposed of Kurt Stone and Chris Rage in the mountain top Match two cards ago, and now he wants to maintain a safe distance from the IME next week.

[What’s on the titantron: A stationary camera swoops three-sixty degrees around CJ Scott as it shows features such as his long brown pony-tail and his moustache and goatee | cutshot to the current champion of the RWW CJ Scott with the Global Heavyweight Championship belt around his waist | cutshot to CJ Scott signing a few autographs for the fans | cutshot to CJ Scott applying a katai-jamai to a figure that is definitely struggling and hurting from it | cutshot to CJ pinning a figure for the easy 1-2-3]

(CJ Scott heads to ringside looking fresh as a daisy. He tests the ropes for their tightness and awaits Rex Butler.)

[What’s on the titantron: Numerous pictures of powerbombs in different locations | Rex Butler slamming a hacksaw into a figure’s head.]

(“Beg” by Saliva plays and Rex steps from the curtains and the crowd pops big. Rex Butler looks well rested since his battle in the last IME and he struts to the ring.)

(Rex kicks the match off with a bang. CJ Scott receives a massive running clothesline that makes him backflip in the ring. Rex Butler pulls CJ Scott up by his thin pube-like hair and applies as spinning bodyslam! CJ gets up quickly again and suffers another bodyslam at the hands of Rex Butler.)

(CJ tries to rally against the madness of Rex Butler and falls victim to a brutal spinebuster! CJ retreats and tries a different method of attack. He challenges Rex Butler to a competition of strength. Right before they lock up, Rex pulls him in close and executes an overhead belly-to-belly suplex. CJ gets canvas burn on his back and holds the section of rugburned flesh.)

(CJ is hurting something aweful and Rex Butler delivers a jumping piledriver. CJ Scott groggily sits up and stares at his hand. Rex goes to the outside and sets up a table. He places CJ Scott on the top rope and delivers a superplex through the table! Even Rex looks a little sore as the different falling patterns of CJ and himself. Rex gets to his feet and puts CJ Scott’s head between his legs! With his immense power, Rex Butler hoists CJ up and powerbombs him onto the fragments of the table.)

1…2…3 Rex Butler defeats CJ Scott with authority.

Rudolph: Rex Butler really opened a can on the lovable CJ Scott!
Jimmy: I heard he cheated on his wife last week!
Rudolph: Who told you that?
Jimmy: Gary Coleman! He was in the room when CJ got up in a prostitute! In fact, Gary took a turn giving her a shot in the mouth!
Rudolph: Okay, enough!

Jimmy: Well the teacher may learn a lesson from Zang tonight.
Rudolph: Yeah, these two have had a rivalry from day one when they met in the opening round of the tournament.
Jimmy: Yeah, many say Zang had Ixon beat, but he was counted out. The two also met in an IME steel cage match with four other men, they fought against one and other in a triple threat match, and now they duke it out, one last time!
Rudolph: They settle this thing tonight!

(Ixon is in his class/change room and he hears that he is up next to face the man known as Zang.

Ixon: Well kids, I’m off to win in the name of education. Please continue your assignment, I won’t be gone long.

(Ixon puts on his glasses and heads to the ring. Some kids can be seen silently weeping at their desks.)

[What’s on the titantron: The camera at a snail's pace swoops around Ixon who is standing in a classroom | cutshot to Ixon marking some term papers | Ixon giving a Textbook suplex a figure | cutshot to Ixon crushing a figure with the Cash Flow | cutshot to Ixon with the CWF championship, he throws it down and picks up a good book.]

(Ixon heads to the ring giving high fives to the small children. Ixon is wearing dress pants with a dress shirt and tie. Odd apparel for a wrestler methinks.)

[What’s on the titantron: A continous shot of a neck being broken.]

(Zang heads to the ring as “Break your Neck” chimes in the background. The Old Man follows closely behind and when Zang gets to the ring, and Ixon, being the role model that he is goes to shakes Zang’s hand before the match.)

(Zang wraps his meaty hand around Ixon’s tie and then proceeds to beat him down with continuous rights. When Zang finally lets go, Ixon stumbles like a drunk and tries to get his balance on the ropes. Zang bull rushes Ixon and crushes him into the corner of the ring. Ixon exhales his breath sharply and reaches to the crowd for support.)

(Zang send Ixon off the ropes, and when Ixon draws near, Zang throws Ixon straight up and lets gravity do the rest. Ixon hits the ground hard and he looks confused. Zang prepares to finish off his weaker opponent. Ixon is on his knees begging for mercy. Ixon then notices the camera’s and realizes he must be a role model. Ixon stands up as Zang grabs him by his forehead and begins to fold his spine back like a piece of wet spaghetti.)

(Zang bends Ixon over his knee for leverage and Ixon submits, but Zang refuses to let go!)

Zang defeats Ixon via submission.

(After Ixon is finished off, Zang puts him over his shoulder and walks backstage. A camera follows him as he walks to the Ixon’s changeroom. Zang kicks in the door and the squeels of terrified children can be heard from within. Zang slams Ixon down on the desk in the room and a sick thud can be heard. Zang reaches into the desk and finds a stapler. He puts a few staples into Ixon’s cranium and the children scream!)

(Myron, the bravest of the five children jumps onto the desk shielding Ixon’s body from more harm. Zang grabs him with both hands and looks at the kid who has a defiant look on his face. After a few moments of pondering, Zang throws the kid as hard as he can against the blackboard that has been set up in the dressing room, and it cracks, looking like a spider web. The child isn’t moving. Zang grabs the meter stick and breaks it by whacking another kid with it. As a last insult, Zang grabs a pen holder and throws the pens at the kids huddled in the corner. Zang smashes the cute little clay pen holder that one of the children had made for Ixon and leaves.)

Jimmy: That was one of the most messed up things I have ever seen. I hope that brave little boy is okay.
Rudolph: He made his decision, just like I had made my desicion to slander Chris Copeland. Luckily, good ol' Copeland was nice enough to drop the charges.

Jimmy: I think Reynolds should win tonight, he’s put three men on the shelf, and Copeland may be the next one.
Rudolph: Considering that Chris Rage started the “There can be only one” thing, and the following week the two remaining Chris’ battle, maybe he knew what he was doing after all. Because the loser will automatically be in next weeks IME.
Jimmy: Hey here comes your best friend Rudolph

(Chris Copeland heads to ringside before his theme music can play. He rolls into the ring while wearing a suit. He grabs a mic and begins to speak.)

Chris Copeland: Good evening everyone. As you know, there was a small matter of a lawsuit at hand a few days earlier and I had dropped the charges.

(The fans cheer)

Copeland: And I am willing to completely refrain from finalizing this suit provided I can make one request. I would like it if the presidents could make their way to the entraceway.

(After a brief moment, the two presidents emerge from the backstage area.)

Copeland: Good, now we can proceed with the request. I will completely drop this lawsuit business if you can grant me one wish.
Pondababa: What?
Copeland: Make tonight’s match, a hardcore match!
Pondababa: I see no problem with this request as long as I can make a request of my own.
Copeland: (Ponders this turn of events.) Very well.
Pondababa: If you lose... You will become the property of the U...W....A! You will work for Ultimate Wrestling Enterprises. In a matter of speaking, you will give in to your dark side and try to win the Survivor at the side of the presidents.
Copeland: (Weighs the gravity of the situation)Fine! You want Chris Copeland to be your lapdog!? I can’t lose! I’m too determined! Bring on Chris Reynolds so I can get this over with!

(“Gone Away” busts out on the speakers, and Chris Reynolds emerges from the backstage area! He pauses and looks at Copeland, who is waiting in the ring wearing a suit. Reynolds continues to walk to to ringside.)

[What’s on the titantron: A camera swoops around Chris Reynolds three-hundred and sixty degrees | cutshot to Reynolds landing a top rope elbow onto the chest of an unknown figure | cutshot showing a figure tapping out from his modified sharpshooter – the Endless Abandonment | cutshot to Chris Reynolds with EWWF title on his shoulder as he taps it twice]

(Copeland begins tearing at his suit in a rage as the blazer hangs off of his upper body in tatters. Reynolds locks up with Copeland and Reynolds procures an armbar. Copeland reverses it and sends Reynolds to the outside.)

(Copeland finally gets the suit top off and takes the blazer off. Quickly Copeland removes the dress shirt and tie, and he now fights bare chested while wearing dress pants and wrestling boots. Reynolds wiggles back in and atempts another lock-up. Copeland dropkicks his knee out and crawls on top og the fallen wrestler. Copeland applies a camel clutch and Reynolds squirms in the middle of the ring.)

Jimmy: Copeland demanded a hardcore match, and now he's wrestling completely technical. This has got to be messing with Reynolds’ mind.

(Copeland rolls Reynolds to the outside and removes his dress pants fortunately revealing wrestling trunks. Reynolds once again re-enters and Copeland wraps the pants around his throat and begins to choke him out.)

(Reynolds reaches around and delivers an atomic drop. Copeland grabs his ass, but bounces off the ropes and smashes into Reynolds with a flying elbow. Copeland goes outside and finds a chair! Copeland enters and prepares to smash Reynolds, but Reynolds dropkicks the chair and it smashes into Copeland’s head. Copeland, recoils into the turnbuckle, and Reynolds begins to stomp Copeland as he tries to hold his head and block the stomps simultaneously. Reynolds turns the other way and Copelands capitalizes by delivering a low blow! Reynolds bends over, holding his twig and berries. Copeland scales up the turnbuckles backwards and springs forward, delivers a blockbuster!)

(Copeland grabs the chair and places it around Reynolds’ ankle! Copeland mounts the second rope and delivers a knee drop from the second rope! The chair crunches together and Reynolds is holding his ankle and Copeland rubs his knee from the impact with the steel.)

(Copeland picks up the injured Reynolds’ and delivers a ring rope DDT onto the chair! Reynolds is glazed over and he then recieves a cradle piledriver onto the chair! Reynolds’s isn’t moving when Copeland applies a standing figure-four!)

(Reynolds struggles a few moments under the extreme pressure, then Copeland, while still applying the figure-four, grabs Reynolds’ ankle and procures an ankle lock while still in the previous submission! Reynolds instantly taps out!)

Chris Copeland defeats Chris Reynolds!

Rudolph: Well well, my good friend Chris Copeland defeats Chris Reynolds in grans fashion as this match ended up being some weird cross between a hardcore/submission match!
Jimmy: Chris Reynolds is still holding his swollen ankle! I wonder if he’ll be okay for next week’s IME?

(Cliff Knight has a cocky smirk on his face as Ashleigh Engles has a microphone shoved in his face) Ashleigh: Cliffy, baby… This is what you’ve been waiting for! You excited?
Cliff: Yea…. F- CENSOR… Yea.
Ashleigh: Beat Hardcore Hooligan within an inch of his life and embarrass him tonight.
Cliff: Yea…. F- CENSOR… Yea
Ashleigh: GO!

(Cliff scatters away from the scene as the scene cut shots to Hardcore Hooligan, Johnny Damage)

(Alexis is rubbing the bony shoulders of the Hardcore Hooligan. Hooligan is sporting a Hawaiian T-shirt with his electric spiked blue hair. Damage is smirking like a mad man drinking a Hawaiian Alcoholic Beverage.)

Alexis: (grabs the cheeks of Johnny Damage) This is what you’ve been waiting for.
Johnny Damage: Yea… when I defeat Cliff Knight tonight I’ll be able to look straight into the camera and yell “THAT’S BETTA!”
Alexis: I know this won’t be like the hardcore matches that you are used to but we have a few tricks up our sleeves. Let’s go get that guy.

(Damage chugs back the beverage as Knight walks by the door. A nervous reaction from Johnny Damage causes him to violently throw the glass in the direction of Cliff Knight. Knight ducks in time and the glass smashes all over the floor. Alexis holds the drunken lunatic, Johnny Damage back as Knight has a smug look all over his face)

(“Seasons” by Crossbreed blares into a sold out crowd in the Aloha Stadium. Knight emerges from the curtains swinging his right arm like a windmill. He points back at the curtains and out comes Tripp Ezkell, our special troubleshooting referee. They walk into the ring and await his drunkard opponent. Out of nowhere, Ashleigh Engels rushes to the ring and gives a good luck kiss on the cheek to THE Premier Athlete)

(The curtains are pushed and Hardcore Hooligan reveals his skeletal-like body. Alexis shows her beautiful face and Hardcore Hooligan has no Singapore Canes, no bottles of beer and no cartons of cigarettes; just his fists and feet. They travel to the ring as the Premier Athlete gives the big thumbs down to Johnny Damage. Damage looks like he wants to kill somebody. The cage is rumbling at the top and it slowly descends.)

Rudolph: Well, the cage is being lowered to the ground as we speak and we’ve got the two undefeated wrestler’s preparing to slam each other!
Jimmy: Yeah, and the special thing about UWA cage matches is that there is no escape door. The only way out is up and over the top.
Rudolph: Simmy said this match is a toss up due to the conflicting styles of the two wrestlers.
Jimmy: Well, the cage is being lowered down and we are ready to rumble.

(As the cage is slowly dropping, Cliff Knight is puzzled. He notices that there are several weapons tied up into the upper bound of the steel cage. Knight argues a bit to Tripp Ezkell but he cannot do a thing about it. Hardcore Hooligan is smirking just like his photo in the roster section as Cliff Knight stares in an angered sort’ve puzzlement. The cage is secure, the bell rings.)

(The fans scream like a thundering ignition as Knight and Johnny Damage casual walk into the centre of the ring. They stare eye to eye. In their minds, it’s quiet like the shores of a beach. Until… Cliff Knight releases three repetitions of knuckle sandwiches into the chiselled cheek of Johnny Damage. Ashleigh Engels and Alexis watch their men go to town onto each other. Knight knees the breadbasket of Johnny Damage. Damage gasps for a breath of fresh air until he finds a week spot on Cliff Knight…. The groin. Damage clinches Knight where the sun does not shine and Knight yelps like a dog that had his tail stepped on. Knight snarls in complete snarling control as he is Irish Whipped against the ropes. He swings his pool-cue like elbow but Knight cleverly ducks gaining momentum. With an orchestra of cheers from the audience, Knight delivers a cross body catching an off guard Johnny Damage.)

(Damage, with the sheer force of inertia, backward somersaults and starts ramming his electric hair headbutts into the chest of Knight. But Knight is too skillful in wrestling as he monkey flips Johnny Damage causing a loud thud on the mat. Damage wipes himself off but the quickness of Knight erupts like a volcano catching Cliff with several right handed jabs. Knights pulls the head of Johnny Damage into a headlock position and drags his face along all four ropes with an Indian deathburn. Damage shrieks and Alexis pats her head begging Cliff Knight for mercy.)

Jimmy: Knight just gave face burn along all the ropes to Johnny Damge!
Rudolph: That’s worse than dragging a new born baby along a newly bought carpet!
Jimmy: What?

(Still in the deathburn position, Damage picks up Knight atomic drop style. Instead of dropping Knight on his knee though, Damage drops Knight with the rope between his legs, once again crushing his groin!)

(Hooligan charges off the ropes and delivers a flying forearm smash, crushing Knights head against the cage as he was still sitting in the painful position. Hooligan jumps to the top turnbuckle and reaches for the nearest weapon. A Singapore cane wrapped in barbed wire.)

(Hooligan signals by slowly rubbing the barbed-wire across his throat before charging in to attack! Hooligan swings, looking to hit a grand slam with Knight’s head, but Cliff Knight ducks down and the cane splinters apart on the cage and the cane is rendered useless! Damage grabs the piece of barbed wire off off the cane and uses it as a whip. Tiny cuts open up on Knight’s scarless flesh as Hooligan bares down on him. Ignoring the pain, Knight rushes Damage’s weapon attack and delivers a spinebuster! Knight taps into his dark side and through a blistering fit of adrenaline, grabs the piece of barbed wire! Knight wraps the wire around Hooligan’s throat and drags him around the ring as the tiny barbs hook in and Hooligan is thrashing in pain.)

(Knight, ignoring his pretty boy image, wraps the wire around his fist and mounts Hooligan. A few clean shots to the face and chest have cut Hooligan up pretty badly. Outside the ring, Tripp has scaled the cage and is cheering on Hooligan! Tripp reaches through the cage’s opening and pulls a weapon down, it is a plunger! Tripp tosses it to Knight who places the plunger on Hooligan’s face and pushes down hard! Hooligan gets up and grabs a fluorescent light bulb and smashes it over Knight’s head. The action itself isn’t too painful, but now the ring has glass scattered about. Knight ducks a clothesline and weaves in behind the Hooligan. Knight reaches from behind and applies a full nelson! In this position, Knight executes a front Russian Leg sweep and Hooligan’s face smashes into the broken glass.)

(Hooligan is reeling from the relentless assault from Knight and he backs into a corner. Alexis over to him and hands him something. It’s a flask! Hooligan fills his mouth and as he sprays it out, he ignites it. Knight dodges the ball of flame that has just been spewed from the Hooligan’s mouth.)

(Hooligan and Knight lock up. Hooligan thrusts his head forward and catches Knight’s lip, splitting it. Knight ducks down and lifts Damage up onto his shoulders and delivers a death valley driver to the Hardcore Icon! Damage slowly revives as Cliff Knight grabs a head full of electric blue hair.) (Outside of the ring, Alexis shoves Ashleigh and that one split second of distraction allows Hooligan to stick his hand in a bag of salt and toss it in the eyes of THE Premier Athlete! Knight stumbles back, clawing at his eyes in pain! Hooligan does a running bicylcle kick and this smashes Knight up against the cage! Hooligan grabs the last of the lightbulbs and runs off the opposite ropes and swings it like a baseball bat! The blinded Knight takes it right across the face as the bulb explodes in a cloud of glassy carnage! Knight grabs his face and tries to clear his eyes. Hooligan looks around, but the weapons are growing sparse.)

(Hooligan grabs a cheese grater and as he approaches, Knight looks through stinging eyes and performs a thrust kick as the grater gets driven up and sheers off chunks of Hooligan’s face.)

(Hooligan snarls and holds his face in pain as Alexis screams words of encouragement to Johnny Damage. Damage drips a bit of blood in his eyes and Knight is still shaking the shock from the salt in the eyes. Both opponents, in desperation, perform a drop kick and the soles of their feet collide in mid-air. Cliff Knight swings with his left arm; Hardcore Hooligan swings with his right. This time they both collide fists. They look in confusing puzzlement as both wrestlers charge against the ropes. Thinking the exact same thing, SWISH! Hardcore Hooligan and Cliff Knight double-clothesline each other causing a laying ten count.)

Jimmy: It’s like they’re shadow boxing!

(Tripp Ezkell starts the count.)

1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

6.

7.

8.

9.

(Cliff Knight kneels onto one foot stopping the count. Hardcore Hooligan is thinking what he should do to kill. Johnny Damage tussles up the cage reaching the third rope. Cliff Knight shakes the cobwebs out and Johnny Damage continues his non-stop efforts to climb the cage. Without even noticing, Cliff Knight places Hardcore Hooligan in the position of a German Suplex. The roar of the Hawaiians echoes in the Aloha Stadium as Johnny Damage’s back folds into the canvas bouncing into a coma-like deadfall.)

Knight continues his brutal attack by launching Damage against the ropes... On the return, Knight lowers his head, but Damage cunningly stops. Hooligan laughs at Knight, then faceplants his face into his knee! Hooligan attempts to limb out again. Knight slowly gets to his feet and climbs over to where Hooligan is wheezing. Knight, using expert balance runs across the top rope, using the cage for extra support. Knight connects and Johnny Damage flies back, crashes against the steel cage and collapses, unmoving. Knight delivers a flying elbow drop and crashes onto Damage.)

Hooligan rolls over and Alexis has once again handed him something. Knight cautiously creeps up to see what is and Hooligan spins around hitting Knight on the wrist.

CLICK

(Knight looks down and sees a handcuff attached to his wrist, the other half is connected to the cage! Knight struggles but realizes that he is stuck, he kicks the cage where Alexis is and he stares at Hooligan with daggers in his eyes.)

(Tripp Ezkell decides to try and help as he climbs on the outside to where Hooligan is. Holligan punches between the cage and catches Tripp clean in the throat. Tripp flies back and crashes through the announcer table. Hooligan exhaustedly makes it to the top cage as Knight just watches, shaking his head in disgust.)

(With his last bit of strength, Hooligan performs a 180 degree frog splash onto Tripp onto the already broken table!)

Johnny Damage touches the ground first and is declared the winner!

Jimmy: Cliff Knight is gonna be PISSED!
Rudolph: Johnny Damage looks the worse for wear as he is covered in blood.
Jimmy: Yeah, but Cliff looks pretty bloodied as well!
Rudolph: Well, I’m sure Cliff Knight will have something to say about what has happened tonight!
Jimmy: Well, Hardcore Hooligan is STILL undefeated!! How much longer can the Hardcore juggernaut continue if he keeps going through these beatings!

[The camera men are all set up, and men and beautiful women are standing on the beach.]

(Two choppers approach and a black man hops into the water dressed in scuba gear. With a splash, Uluz hits the water!)

(Mortician looks afraid of heights as he keeps looking out of the chopper. Eventually, he clumsily jumps out and hits the water with a big belly flop!)

(The underwater camera kicks into gear and Mortician is flailing in the water, and Uluz swims at him like a dolphin and rams his cushy afro head into Mortician’s ribs. Mortician screams underwater, and a school of fish hear this and swim away. Mortician panics under the water and his breather falls out of his mouth. Mortician grabs it and puts it back into his mouth. The two sink deeper and Uluz grabs a poisonous sea urchin. Taking great care, Uluz picks the urchin with great care. Uluz stabs Mortician in the leg and smiles. Mortician grabs his leg as he feels the burn of poisonous venom floating through his veins.)

(Uluz grabs onto Mortician and drags him across burning coral and Mortician shakes as though he is being electrocuted! The battle rages on as Mortician ignores the pain and hits Uluz under the water. The fight slowly works it’s way to shore.)

(Uluz and Mortician lock up, in the warm sand, and Uluz boots Mortician in the gut. Uluz cradles Mortician into a headlock, Uluz begins slapping Mortician across the top of his head. As Mortician tosses and turns, Uluz drops Mortician’s face into the hot sand, with a DDT. Uluz pins Mortician.)

1... Kick Out!

(Mortician is brought back to his feet with a hand full of hair, and Uluz drags Mortician to a hot dog vendor. Uluz grabs the head of Mortician and slams it down on the rough surface. Uluz explores the hot dog vendor, and opens a hatch, where the hot dogs are stored. As he opens it, white hot steam spews out onto his face. He shouts and then slams Mortician’s face in the hot steamy container. Mortician screams as Uluz slams the hatch over and over again onto his tender head. Mortician is weak, but in desperation he grabs a hot dog between his teeth, and when he pulls his head out, he spits the frankfurter into Uluz’s tender eye! Mortician laughs as he touches the burns on his face, and he dives off the hot dog stand, and clotheslines Uluz. Mortician pins Uluz)

1... Kick Out!

(Mortician drags Uluz to the beach shore, and Mortician attacks a man on a sea-doo. Uluz capitalizes by applying a sleeper on his contender. Mortician weakens and falls to his knees. Using quick wits, and ignoring all pain, Mortician grabs a jelly fish that had washed on shore and he throws it into Uluz’s face! OH THE SWEET BURN! Uluz stumbles back holding his face as the barbs sting and burn his face)

(Uluz wraps the Sea-doo water ski rope around Mortician’s throat, and quicker then a hiccup, he jumps on the sea-doo and drives out to sea. As Uluz picks up speed, Mortician chokes and begins to skip on top of the water. Uluz picks up more speed, and goes for a nearby ramp. As Uluz makes the jump, he jumps off the sea-doo, while in mid-air, watches Mortician fly through the air, by his neck. Uluz swims over to Mortician’s unconscious body, and swims it to safety on the ramp. The crowd smiles, as Uluz takes pity on his injured opponent, but they soon cheer as Uluz applies his finisher Souled Out on Mortician ‘s inert frame. Even in the bright summer light, people on shore can see Mortician’s soul being transferred to Uluz. Uluz pins Mortician.)

But there’s no Ref!

(Uluz looks up, as he sees the Ref on another sea-doo, racing in to make the count. When he finally gets to the ramp, he goes for the count.)
1...2...3 [Uluz wins the Elimination Main Event]

(Back at the arena)

Jimmy: Holy shiznatch! That was an awesome match!
Rudolph: Yeah, it was quick a slamdinger
Jimmy: So in the tag team ladder match IME, we have Chris Reynolds. Ixon, CJ Scott and… Cliff Knight! Can you believe that!?
Rudolph: Goodnight everyone!

---

The UWA says goodbye to Mortician